There was DEFINETLY something wrong with his body.

The carpool rattles alongside the road on it's way to Central Headquarters. Jean Havoc, a smoking pal, was driving-while next to him sat Riza Hawkeye. She is a blonde red eyed hard worker who was sorting out various papers. Ed was in the backseat leaning against the window behind Havoc. Ed was not in the mood, because Roy Mustang aka 'Bastard' was next to him, trying to get Edward pissed.

"What were you doing that made us so late? Or are you TRYING to make us late, my dearest Fullmetal?". Edward growled, getting even more pissed off, imagining a Roy-free world. After a sudden silence in the car, Roy decides to breaks the ice.

"Hey, what's wrong? Being promoted on the first day and you have that kind of expression? Did you argue with your brother to be in such a foul mood?"

"OI! We never argue!"

"Oh? So you're just dissatisfied with the Fuhrer's decision then? To make you a Colonel?"

"Dissatisfied...so what if I am? I'm pretty sure that compared to me, you have more things you're dissatisfied with!"

"Me? Need you even ask - if you want more, you have to sacrifice more. Isn't that the law of "equivalent exchange", a principle you and I know?"

"...Equivalent exchange..." Is that really so...

Central Headquarters~~

Ed was making his way to the Fuhrer's office, but his mood didn't match the elegant sculptures and decorations that filled the hallways. "Ughh...no way...I really have to do menial work..." As Ed opens the Fuhrer's door, he sees Roy handing in a report relating to news of the South.

"Impressive, General Mustang. How about you stay for tea for all your hardwork?" Fuhrer Bradley said while grinning. Roy saluted. "Thank you, sir. I humbly accept your offer." And with that, he sat down on a nearby lounge chair.

Meanwhile...

Two soldiers (presumably Majors) are conversating outside the Fuhrer's office in the hallway.

Soldier 1: "Hey, have you heard of that young kid who passed the State Alchemy Exam 5 years ago? He was only 12 YEARS OLD!

Soldier 2: "He's a Colonel now, didn't you hear?! AND HE'S ONLY 17! Before Mr. Elric, the youngest Colonel was 27! Looks like this kid is something else...glad he's on our side!"

Both soldiers laughed vigorously and cheerfully.

Soldier 1: "He's truly a prodigy genius! And I heard from one of the Fuhrers men that Ed may even get ANOTHER PROMOTION- a Secretary, for Jesus sake!"

Soldier 2 nodded in agreement. Then they heard sounds of footsteps. One flesh, one seemingly metallic.

Soldier 1: "Hey! He's coming! Act normal!"

Both soldiers whistled suspiciously as Edward walked out of the Fuhrer's office. Edward was sent to get coffee for Bradley and Roy. This day can't get any better! Ed sarcastically whispered through his gritted teeth. Ed stopped in his tracks as he noticed a blonde approach him. Ed didn't notice the soldiers...

Ed smiled. "Oh! Hi there, Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Hello, Major-ah! I mean Colon-er..." Riza had a perplexed face.

"Yeah. Fuhrer promoted me again. He said the effects of my promotion will take place tomorrow and today is my last work as of a Colonel. I'm now Secretary."

"Oh!? That's great news, Edward!"

Riza saw Edwards troubled look. "Um, how come I get the feeling that I'm more excited about this than you? Is it because..." Riza pointed at the tray Ed was holding. "...of that? Who's making you make tea?"

Ed sighed. "Who do you think? That son of a bastard is about to have tea with the Fuhrer! And guess what he told the Fuhrer?!" Ed cleared his throat to put on the best Roy impression. " 'Hey, since Edward Elric is going to be a Secretary, you should have him do paperwork!' "

"Wait...so your job is to organize paperwork? Aren't you supposed to..."
Ed's eyes went wide. "Oh! I can't let them wait too long! I need to go now! Bye!"
"Edw- good...good bye!"

When Ed's out of sight, Hawkeye says to herself, "So he's really only a secretary..."

~~End

Ah! This is so FREAKING FUN!

!eikooc a yojnE -**Hint: read backwards**