A/N: Beware, there are spoilers for Season 3 Episode 6 in this part.
For Better or for Worse
Chapter Three
Danny was absolutely right—Steve was not a patient man. He hated waiting.
So he occupied himself by ordering new tac gear for the team, thigh holsters for Danny, just because it would piss him off, and restocked various ammunition Chin had warned was running low. After that he switched gears and pulled up the website for a local home renovation company.
Before long his shopping cart was filled with ten different shades of blue paint, along with a few shades of pink and purple thrown in for good measure. Next came lacy curtains, frilly curtains, bed frames, dressers and shelves. Anything and everything Grace had ever oohed or ah-d over as she'd deliberated about how she wanted to decorate her room at his place, now that he and Danny were living together.
Steve figured Grace should have plenty of options and didn't mind returning whatever she didn't like. He knew he was going overboard. He knew Danny would probably kill him. But he didn't care. It kept his mind off of how sick Danny was, and how little he could do to help him.
"Grace," Danny moaned hoarsely. His face was slick with sweat, his wheat colored hair damp and tousled. "No, Grace." His head tossed on the pillow, his fingers restlessly fisting the bed sheets.
"Shhh, it's okay, Danny," Steve slipped his fingers through Danny's and squeezed, gently but firmly. "It's okay. Gracie is fine. She's on her way back from the mainland. She'll be here soon. Just hang on, buddy."
Danny had been holding his own until several hours ago, and then his fever had spiked, and Steve was terrified he was slipping away. Dr. Reynolds had put Danny on a new, stronger antibiotic, and warned Steve if the medication didn't start working soon they might need to go in and surgically drain the infected fluid from the outer membranes of his brain.
As if the possibility of brain surgery wasn't bad enough, she'd scared him even further with talk of the complications Danny faced from his illness. Hearing loss. Seizures. Muscle weakness. Speech problems. There were others, but at a certain point, Steve's brain had simply blocked out the doctor's words. He didn't want to think about it. He needed Danny to be okay.
"Help her, somebody please help her," Danny's voice was a broken whisper. He looked up at Steve, his blue eyes wide and pleading. They glistened with tears. "God, why won't you stop? Please. She's dying. She's dying."
"Oh, Danny," Steve murmured, his stomach twisting that in his delirium, Danny's mind had strayed to the memory of one of the worst days in his life. The day his partner had been shot and killed in front of him. The day his own life had been saved by the worst act of terrorism on US soil.
He set the palm of his hand on Danny's burning forehead and gently stroked his brow with his thumb, soothing, "That was a long time ago, baby. It's over now."
"He shot her," Danny gripped Steve's hand, his face twisting with grief. "Why? Why her and not me?"
Danny's eyes fell closed, though his lips continued to move. His voice so soft that Steve couldn't quite catch the words. He glanced up as a nurse walked into Danny's room. His eyes widened in surprised recognition.
"I heard he wasn't doing too well. I'm sorry," Kai said sympathetically, setting a tray full of supplies down on the bedside table.
"You're working up here today?" Steve asked.
"I'm covering for someone," Kai explained, glancing up briefly at Danny's monitors before taking his patient's vitals. He frowned with concern. "Temp's up to 105."
"Can't you do something?" Steve demanded. "Ice packs or a cooling blanket?"
"Contrary to popular belief, those can actually do more harm than good," Kai explained, checking the flow on one of Danny's IV's. "We're keeping him hydrated, and giving him fever reducers. The best we can do for him is keep him comfortable until it breaks."
Steve watched helplessly as Kai went to one of the drawers and pulled out a clean hospital gown. He then filled a small basin with lukewarm water and dropped two washcloths in it. Finally he pulled several small towels from the cupboard.
Kai glanced at Steve and asked softly, "Do you want to help me?"
Steve nodded silently as Kai placed the supplies on a rolling tray table and moved it next to Danny's bed. Steve wrung out the washcloth as Kai pulled aside Danny's blankets and removed the soaked through hospital gown, covering him back up with blankets before he could start to shiver.
"Careful of his lines," Kai warned as Steve. The nurse pulled aside the blanket, exposing Danny's right arm and shoulder. "We don't want him to get cold, so we'll just move the blanket from where we're working. When he's clean and dry, we'll put him in the fresh gown and then we'll change the sheets."
Tenderly Steve ran the damp washcloth down the length of Danny's finely muscled arm, avoiding the crook of his elbow where they'd placed the IV. Then, just as gently he toweled it dry. Danny's fingers twitched against the sheet and he let out a small sigh. Steve squeezed Danny's hand and then slipped his arm back under the blanket.
Steve started on Danny's face next, running the cool cloth along Danny's forehead and into his hair, down the fine slopes of his cheeks and neck and then retracing his steps with the soft towel.
He pulled down the blanket, exposing Danny's glistening chest, the soft skin beaded with sweat. He maneuvered the damp cloth around the EKG sensor pads, quickly drying him off as he felt Danny quiver under his touch. But he let his hand linger on Danny's breastbone, reveling in the feel of the beat of Danny's heart against his palm as his chest evenly rose and fell.
Danny stirred, the lines on his face easing under Steve's tender ministrations. He sighed again, murmuring something softly under his breath.
"You can talk to him," Kai suggested as he efficiently began to wipe down and towel dry Danny's other side. He flipped up the blanket to expose Danny's leg.
Steve extended the cloth's reach to Danny's stomach and hips. Danny shivered and moaned as Steve's fingers ghosted Danny's skin.
"It's okay, Danny," Steve soothed, gently toweling him dry and then drawing the blanket back up to his shoulders.
When they'd finished, Kai got Danny into the fresh gown and then had Steve help him as he smoothly changed the sheets.
"He seems more comfortable now," Steve noted quietly, running his thumb along Danny's temple.
Kai took a new temperature reading and smiled over at Steve. "104.5. That's progress."
"Progress," Steve shook his head, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. "His fever is still so high."
Kai put his hand on Steve's shoulder and briefly squeezed it. "It doesn't seem like much, but he's moving in the right direction. I know you feel helpless right now, but you can help him. Every time he sweats through the gown and sheets, rub him down and change him. If you need help, just hit the call button. Don't give up. He's fighting really hard, and we're going to get him through this."
Steve nodded, looking up at the nurse. "Okay…thank you."
Kai gave him another reassuring smile and then left the room, closing the door behind him.
Steve sank back into the chair next to Danny's bed. This wasn't fair. He and Danny had only been together, really together, for a few short months. And it was his fault. He was the one who'd wasted so much time, the one who couldn't commit, the one who'd clung to his relationship with Catherine because he couldn't admit Danny was the one he truly wanted.
Then Danny had been trapped by that bomb. That brush with death had brought clarity, the complete and total understanding that in losing Danny Williams, Steve would utterly lose himself. There was no going back after that. He'd cut things off with Cath and bared his soul to Danny.
"Of course it takes a near death experience to point out the glaringly obvious," Danny had said, both hands on his hips, head cocked to the side, a slight smirk playing at his lips. "Is this what it's going to take every time? I nearly have to die for any kind of progression in our relationship? That's just sad, Steven," Danny had shaken his head and chuckled. Then his eyes had softened, and he'd held out his hand and said, "Better late than never, you big goof."
Steve sighed and set the back of his hand against Danny's cheek. "You're still too warm, Danny. C'mon babe, you can shake this. I know you can."
Danny's eyelids fluttered and then opened, but his gaze was unfocused, his eyes glazed with fever.
"Steve?" He whispered, his face pinching into a frown.
"I'm right here, Danny," Steve caressed Danny's cheek. "I'm right here."
"Don't go," Danny closed his eyes and shook his head, mumbling, "Don't…please don't leave me… "
"I'm not going anywhere, Danny," Steve gripped Danny's hand. "I promise. I'm not leaving your side ever again."
Danny drifted off again, his body twitching with agitation, haunted by memories Steve could only guess at. His voice calling out names from his past in recrimination, sorrow and fear.
Three times Steve filled the basin with water and tenderly ran the cool cloth down Danny's sweat slicked body, rubbing him dry and changing his gown and sheets. Then just as quickly as the nightmare started, Danny's fever finally broke. For the first time in days, his skin was cool to Steve's touch. The pain on Danny's face gradually vanished, and he fell into a deep healing sleep.
As Steve watched his lover sleep, once again it hit him. He knew what he wanted. A family. With Danny. A future they could share. A chance to grow old together.
He leaned forward and took Danny's hand in his. "You were right, Danno. I have to nearly lose everything to understand what it is I want." He grinned ruefully. "You know, we're going to have to do something about that, because I can't go through this again."
Gently he brushed the pad of his thumb over the back of Danny's hand. "Here's the thing, Danny. You're my life. We've never talked about marriage, and I don't know how you feel about getting married again, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want us to have babies and a family. I want our babies to have babies so we can have a house full of grandchildren." Tears welled in the corner of Steve's eyes. "I need you Danny. I'm always going to need you. Please get better and marry me."
Tears trickled down Steve's cheeks as he pulled Danny's hand to his lips.
And then Danny's fingers twitched. He opened his big blue eyes and tracked straight to Steve's face. And he whispered, "You had me at you were right, you big goof."
A/N: As always huge hugs to my awesome beta JoaniexJony who always does such an amazing job!
Thanks so much for all the faves, follows, reviews and positive response! I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story!