A/N: So here is the last official part of the story (it was the conclusion that I saw in my head originally), but as I mentioned before, there might be an epilogue coming in the next few weeks. This chapter flashes forward a few weeks from the last one and is set on Christmas Eve. There's a lot that happens and a lot of feels, but rest assured that by the end this is the same kind of fluff I love to write, especially around the holidays. Hope that you all enjoy this installment and thanks so much for reading!
Three weeks was really no time at all, twenty one days, give or take, but for Emma, the last three weeks had been incredible.
Since meeting Killian, Emma had felt like things were finally beginning to click. She didn't know what had made it happen - fate, chance, some sort of universal pull - but whatever had brought her and Killian together she was grateful for it. Right now, things between them felt like a perfect mix. He'd found her and she'd found him at the right time. For the first time she'd been somewhat open to letting someone in. She had admitted to herself that she wanted love, and yet, even though she'd already had that tough conversation with herself, Emma knew in her heart Killian would have inspired the change in her one way or another. Truth was, Killian was undeniable, and her attraction to him was easily the strongest of any one she'd ever had before.
The timing of all of this was somewhat suspect, however. Because really, who actually fell in love at Christmas other than people in those cheesy hallmark movies? It was so cliché, but at the same time what she felt for Killian was so real. It didn't matter that when they'd had their first date there'd been Christmas flavored cocoas or the scent of pine from the trees that decorated the coffee shop. It didn't matter that when Killian asked her out to dinner that same night there were Christmas lights that twinkled and glowed a perfect white gold color all along Newbury Street where their restaurant was. It didn't even matter that her favorite Christmas songs seemed to crop up any time they were together, and that those old melodies that sang of sharing one's heart at Christmas rang out as incredibly relevant with all she was feeling. In all honesty, this new relationship could have started in any season and Emma would have felt this pull. It was just a bonus that the aura of Christmas was all around. Things between Killian and Emma already felt a little magical, so the spirit of the holiday was simply the cherry on top.
"I'd give anything to know your thoughts right now, love."
Killian murmured the words as he came up behind her, his hands wrapping around her in a loving hold. Emma couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief, her body melting into his like it was completely normal, because it was fast becoming the norm. She couldn't help how much comfort she took in his presence, and after having that moment with herself and admitting all that she wanted and was looking for, she'd taken the plunge and decided to be brave. It took a lot of courage for Emma to be transparent with her feelings and to show Killian how much he'd come to mean to her, but though it was a big change, Emma found strength in Killian's unapologetic and completely obvious infatuation with her.
"I was just thinking that it's Christmas, and I kind of can't believe this is my life. Last year it was just me. I was rolling solo to this party with my friends, but they all had someone. And this year that's different."
"You're damn right it is," Killian growled, his mouth coming down to kiss her neck as Emma laughed and turned around in his embrace. She was going to say something teasing, maybe poke a little fun at how serious he was about things already, but then she looked in his ocean blue eyes and her breath caught. The words in her brain flitted away, and all she could think was that this look wasn't one of mere interest and attraction. It was raw passion, and, dare she say, love. "I can't imagine someone I'd rather be with on this day than you, Emma. I've been alone in the past too, more than I ever wished to be. But they call it the season of blessings, and for the first time I feel that. Any moment that I'm with you is no less than a gift."
"Don't you think it's a little soon to feel like this?" Emma asked, her words genuinely curious even though her heart was telling her that it wasn't too fast. Still, she wanted to hear it from Killian himself.
"When you know, you know, Emma. I truly believe that, and from the moment I saw you I knew that you were different. You take me to new places. You make my world better and brighter. I can't seem to let you go, even for a moment. You're with me, love. Always."
"Sounds pretty serious," Emma said with a smile, her heart fluttering in her chest as Killian grinned and his hand came up to cup her cheek.
"Aye, because it is, and I intend to show you just how serious very soon."
Unable to resist any longer, Emma pressed a kiss to his lips and she reveled in the fact that they were instantly in this together. It took just a moment for the kiss to deepen and for their mutual lust to grow stronger between them. What started out as sweet and soft morphed into something that melted her insides and made her want so much more. Killian could feel it too, and the way his hands roamed over her body, toying with the hem of her form fitting dress made Emma moan. They had places to be, a party with all her friends, and surprisingly with Killian's friends too (because it turned out there was already a lot of overlap in their lives what with Liam dating Elsa and Belle and Will being together), but Emma was oh so tempted to let this first stage turn to more. Her mind wandered to the things she and Killian had done the past few weeks, the way he always seemed to read her body, eliciting pleasure and leaving her dizzy wanting more. He was everything she'd ever imagined, and though they'd been together only hours before, Emma could feel her cravings grow and her want for more rise higher.
"Any more of that and we won't be getting to this party, Swan," Killian said as he tore his lips from hers, his forehead resting against hers as his breath came out more labored, mirroring hers. Emma knew he was right, but still, it was hard to pull back when she knew how good things were between them.
"You're right, you're right. But just know I have a whole lot of ideas for later…"
"I can hardly wait," Killian said adamantly, before dropping one last kiss to her lips and moving towards his closet. "Just give me a few minutes, love. I'll be ready to go in no time."
Emma watched him go and debated staying for the show, knowing how sexy Killian was underneath those clothes of his, but if they had any hope of getting to the party she had to give herself some space. She walked out into the rest of his condo, finding herself meandering towards his study and she looked around, taking comfort in the dark colors and the smell of books and paper. They hadn't spent a whole lot of time in here, but Emma had loved it when he gave her the tour of his place weeks ago. It had a timeless feel, looking more like a little library than anything else, and Emma found she loved the smell of all these books and the fireplace in the corner. It felt homey even while it was dignified, and with the decorations hung about just like in the rest of Killian's home, it was festive and comforting.
Roaming through the room, Emma found herself scanning the titles of the books that he had, noticing a lot of overlap between his favorites and the classics that she loved as well. By the time she made it over to his desk, Emma was full on smiling and thinking that she could tuck herself away in here for hours with a good book and a cup of cocoa, but then something caught her eye, a piece of parchment that seemed familiar, folded in threes just like a letter.
Curiosity won out in the end, and Emma moved to see the piece of paper only to feel her stomach drop when she opened up the page. It was a complete shock to her system to see those three little words at the top: 'Dear No One,' and Emma felt her heart plunge when realization kicked in. Killian had her letter! He had her letter and he never told her. Why had he done that? And God, how could she have been so stupid?
Without thinking or giving herself time to process any of this or to ask Killian what the hell was going on, Emma started moving. She took the letter with her, rushing into the front hall and grabbing her coat. She had to get out of there, and she had to go now, but as she opened the door and heard Killian call out to see if that was her, a sob broke through. She looked down at the letter and actually felt she might be sick, and she dropped it to the floor as she slammed the door behind her, leaving the man she was foolish enough to fall in love with as quickly as she could.
Moving through the freezing streets of Boston, Emma felt like her whole world was crumbling down. Here she was thinking that she'd finally found the one for her. When they were together, Emma felt so much hope and possibility. She'd been falling from the start, and with every day another piece of her heart had become his. But this was a betrayal, right? He had to know the letter was hers. There was no way it could just be a coincidence, and as Emma ran back through that morning that they first spoke in her head, she realized he had to have heard her talking to Belle. God he must think she was such an idiot! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Pulling her phone from her pocket, Emma couldn't think to do anything but call her friends. She pressed a random number of speed dial, and when Ruby answered Emma finally broke down. It took all of three seconds for Ruby to realize something was wrong, and she immediately went into protective friend mode. "Emma where are you? Just tell me where you are and I'll be there."
Emma looked and saw that she'd walked in the direction of one of the city's oldest diners, and it appeared to be open despite the holiday. Ruby told her to get inside and out of the cold and promised to be there in ten minutes. She was there in five, and with her were Emma's other friends, all looking just as worried and ready to do whatever it took to help her.
"Oh Emma, what happened?" Belle said, coming immediately to sit with her in her booth and Emma buried her face in her hands begging herself silently not to cry as she tried to tell her friends the story.
"He knew this whole time about the letter. He found it, Belle. He had it for weeks."
"A letter?" Mary Margaret asked. "What letter? And who is 'he?'"
Emma swallowed down her pride, filling the rest of the friends in about what she'd done and how she'd crafted a letter that spelled out everything that she wanted for her future and in a partner. She told them about how she'd felt alone and how she'd wanted that to change more than anything. She even admitted that despite the fact that it was silly and ridiculous, it was her Christmas wish. Then she told them about how she lost the letter, and explained that she found it again in Killian's house just moments ago.
"So what exactly are you upset about?" Elsa asked, not trying to be mean, but genuinely trying to understand what would have triggered Emma so fiercely. "Is it the fact that he read it, or the fact that he didn't tell you?"
"Both. I mean I knew this was too good to be true. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, and here it is."
"But is it really so bad, Emma?" Belle asked sincerely. "So he read your letter? So what? He still wants you anyway. I think he truly wants to be the man that you were writing to. He loves you, Emma. He just made a mistake in not telling you about it."
"You really believe that, Belle? You think he loves me?" Emma asked, her voice breaking as she tried to choke the words out. God she wanted them to be true, but she just couldn't trust it. Not after everything she had been through. "He was just messing with me. He probably read that letter and thought I was an easy mark or something. Just some sad, lonely girl to spend some time with."
"Oh bull shit!" Ruby exclaimed, causing all the friends to gasp and then go varying degrees of slack-jawed. "You know that's not true, Emma. That's your fear talking. You're better than this."
"Ruby," Mary Margaret said, trying to get their friend to calm down a bit but Ruby shook her head.
"No, I'm not going to sit here and watch you cave to your past, Ems. We all know you've been hurt before. We get it, and God knows that it hasn't been fair or easy. But Killian is not those other guys. He's not out to hurt you. He would do anything not to. And yeah it sounds like he fucked up with this letter, obviously he should have told you that he had it if you're certain that he knew it was yours, but you're everything to him. Everything."
"You can't know that, Ruby," Emma said, even though she was hoping so hard that her friend's claims were true. Deep down she knew Killian wasn't a bad man. The man she knew and had fallen in love with was kind and good. He did his best by everyone, and he looked at her like she was, in fact, everything. Still it was hard to imagine that could be real, and this secret that he'd kept for whatever reason was her perfect way out. A lifetime of running had prepped her for this, and instinct demanded that she get out while she still could, even if it meant breaking her heart in the process.
"Hell if I can't! You don't propose to someone you're just 'messing with' Emma."
"Wait, what?" Emma asked, shocked at the word and for the first time Ruby looked stricken. Her friend had said too much, but there was no going back now. That word rang around in Emma's head, and she knew she wouldn't stop until she knew everything.
"Shit. I wasn't supposed to say that."
"No, you weren't," Elsa said with a sigh and Emma looked to her friend for clarification, silently pleading with Elsa to make all of this more clear. "But now that it's out there… Killian told Liam that you're the one last night Emma. When you guys came for dinner, they talked, and Liam said he's never seen his brother like this before. Killian plans to propose Emma. I don't know when, I think soon after the holidays, but they were talking and…"
"And Killian told Liam that he was going to give you his mother's ring," Mary Margaret said, filling in.
"He said that?" Emma whispered. Her mind almost not believing something like this could be true, even though she wished it was so desperately. Emma and Killian had only been dating for a short while, but she knew of Killian's love for his mother, and she had to imagine that if he was planning to trust her with such a precious family heirloom, then he was also truly trusting her with all his heart and soul.
"Yeah," Ruby said, reaching across the table to take Emma's hand. "I'm sorry for being harsh, but it's like I said: he loves you. So whatever happened with the letter, it can't be as bad as you're thinking. You have to give him the chance to explain, and you have to try and believe that you, Emma Swan, aren't just some 'lonely girl' to humor for a while. You're a catch, and he's damn lucky to have you."
All of her friends echoed Ruby's statement, and Emma felt more tears pooling in her eyes. It was sweet of them to say that, and though she knew all of that rationally, it was easy for her to underestimate herself. Good things were so rare in her life for so long, and the way that Killian made her feel was so much better than good. It was otherworldly, almost like magic, and she was terrified that it might not last or be completely genuine. But it wasn't anything that Killian had really done that made her quick to believe that. It was her own personal baggage, and Emma had to deal with that instead of closing herself off and building up walls.
"I shouldn't have just run like that," Emma said, her words sounding hollow and sad as she said them aloud. She was disappointed in herself and in her choice to not hear Killian out and confront this head on. "In the letter I promised I would stay and that my running days were over."
Technically the letter was a promise to a man Emma would one day love, and it hadn't been specifically addressed to Killian, but there was no denying anymore that Killian was that person. Though things had happened so quickly between them, she'd already felt like she was in this with him. Even without the details of an impending proposal or his saying she was the one. Emma's instincts had been telling her to trust this man, to choose him and to let herself fall in love. So why hadn't she just allowed herself to do that? Why did she bolt at the first sign of trouble the same way she always did?
"Well, it's not too late. You might have run, but you can always go back. I mean it's Christmas for God's sake. If there was ever a time for forgiveness, it's now."
Emma thought on that for a moment, and she realized that Belle was right. They'd both messed up, and honestly that was normal. People weren't perfect, and sometimes they did the wrong thing. But she was willing to work and to fight to make this better, and she had to believe that Killian would be too. With that realization in hand, Emma was anxious to find him again, and to say sorry for her part in all of this. As if they could read her mind, her friends all rose, giving her final hugs and well wishes as she grabbed her jacket and headed out the door. She felt the crisp, cold air, and the subtle shift in the wind, watching as a flurry of snowflakes began falling from the sky, and then she turned to head back to Killian's and she froze – seeing the man she'd been trying to get back to already here waiting for her.
The picture he made, waiting outside for her as the snow started falling in this historic part of the city, was like something from a dream. He was under one of those antique lanterns, the ones that had been in this city for hundreds of years, and that glowed a perfect golden hue that she'd always seen as romantic and beautiful. Emma swore that time stood still, and when their eyes met it was impossible to have that same fear she was grappling with before. Killian was hiding nothing from her in this moment. There was a little regret, but mostly there was relief at finding her and an undeniable love that shone through. That love propelled Emma forward, bringing her across the street to where he was, as he moved closer too, meeting her with eyes only for her and none of their surroundings. They were lost in each other, and though there was so much still to say, Emma's heart filled with hope that they could make it through this trying moment.
"Killian… you're here. How did you find me?"
"My brother. He was with Elsa when he left and he picked up a few details. I immediately went there, and he saw that I would stop at nothing when it came to finding you and seeing you were safe."
"I'm sorry, Killian," Emma confessed in a rush, the apology coming out in a huff of air that could be seen in the winter night between them. "I know I shouldn't have run. I promised I wouldn't and… well, I'm just so sorry."
"I'll be begging your forgiveness for a number of things tonight, Emma, but first forgive me for not remembering that promise. When did you say that? It's hard to imagine I'd forget such a moment."
"I said it in the letter," Emma said, wondering why he wouldn't recall something that was so prominently featured, and then she watched as a mixed expression came to his face. On the one hand he looked relieved that there was a reason for her apology, but on the other he was stricken, likely for keeping his knowledge of her private words a secret.
"I should have told you I had it immediately, love. It was wrong of me to keep it from you, but you see, I never actually read your words. At least not beyond the introduction."
"You didn't?" Emma asked, completely thrown off by that, but finding after the initial shock that she wasn't actually that surprised. This was Killian, after all, and she had never known him to be nosy or invasive. If anything he'd been a patient man, and he'd always let her set the pace for things between them.
"No, Swan. I wanted to keep reading. Your greeting intrigued me, and I can't deny that, but I knew it was yours. I watched it fall that morning in the bakery, and I tried to get it back to you but…" he trailed off and scratched behind his ear absentmindedly, a sign that he was uncomfortable. Despite the intense feelings she had, Emma couldn't help but want to smile at that. Killian was always good looking, but this slight bashfulness had a way of warming her up inside. She took a half step closer without thinking as he continued his confession. "I heard you with Belle, and you were so mortified about all of it. Then the incident with Leroy happened, and it never felt like the right time. I know I should have just come out and said it, but all I could think was that I finally had the chance to ask you out, and I couldn't risk you saying no because of some words I never actually read."
"And were you ever going to tell me?" Emma asked, needing to know, because she hated the thought that he would have kept it a secret from her. That didn't sit well with Emma, but Killian's adamant nod as he took her hands in his convinced her that that was always his intention.
"Aye, love. I was going to mention it tonight, actually. It's why it was out in the study at all. I hated to think of doing it, especially at Christmas, but I knew I had to have the full truth out there before I told you that I love you. You deserve nothing less."
"You love me?" Emma asked, her eyes going wider and her heart fluttering madly in her chest. Killian realized too late that he'd told her of his love accidentally, and not in the way that he originally planned, but he regrouped quickly, bringing one of her hands up to kiss gently, and fighting off the cold of the night with his warm, soft lips.
"I do. I love you wholly and completely, Emma. And I know it's fast, far faster than rational people would think normal or right, but I can't help it, and I wouldn't even if I could. I love you. I think I've loved you from the moment I first saw you, and I want so much more than just this moment. This isn't a passing fancy or a fling or anything of the like. It's real, Emma. More real than words could ever sa-,"
Knowing that everything Killian was confessing to her was honest and sweet and sincere, Emma couldn't hold back anymore. She stepped into his embrace, pulling him down for a kiss and trying to show him that not only did she forgive him, but she loved him as well. His musings on things being too fast was a valid one. There was no denying that this had all happened very quickly, but as he'd said earlier in the evening, sometimes when you know, you just know. And with Killian Emma knew that this was a once in a lifetime kind of love.
Breaking away from their kiss was something Emma did reluctantly, but there was still so much that needed to be said. Making up and moving on would come soon enough, but in this moment she had to be a little bit vulnerable and speak the whole truth exactly as she felt it. "I love you too. Fast or not, I know this is a forever kind of thing, and I'm not willing to doubt it anymore just because it's not what's normally done."
"I'm glad to hear you say that, love, because forever is exactly what I'm hoping for." Killian made the vow as his thumb ran across her cheek as he stared at her adoringly. Emma could by no means read minds, but in this moment his thoughts clicked as her own. She knew he was thinking about the future, about marriage and kids and all that a life together would likely hold in store. She could see how much he wanted that, and it mirrored her own yearning.
"So… do you think we can put it behind us and get back to that magical Christmas we had going?"
"Oh it's magical is it?" Killian teased and Emma felt herself blushing even as she rolled her eyes, loving it when Killian wrapped her up in himself closer and she could feel the reverberation of his laughter. "It is magical, Emma. It's more than that, and so yes, I would very much like to go back to that."
So with that understanding between them, and with their hands locked together as they made their way to their Christmas plans and to their friends and family, Killian and Emma put the past behind them. They chose to move forward, starting a story together built on love, light, and yes, a little bit of magic. And in the end, it was exactly the kind of story that anybody would dream of, filled with many highs and only minimal downs, and which ended in hard fought and well earned happily ever after.
Post-Note: So there we have it. Part of me wishes I could have lingered a bit longer in this story, but I promised myself I wouldn't get too deep or go too over the top, but that being said there's still a little epilogue coming around New Years. Anyway, I would love to see what you all thought and thank you so so much for reading. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a happy holidays, and thanks for making this fandom such a fun, special world to be a part of!