Chapter 3

Rey sensed the girl looking for an exit strategy, her eyes darted around, plotting the best direction to run and that when Rey remembered the gold charm in her pocket. Fumbling she dug it out and thrust it forward.

"Leia said to give you this, that you'd help us." Rey said starting to feel panicky, what if this wasn't the right person, what if it was and she ran?

The girl froze staring that the chain extended from Rey's hand. Slowly she reached out, taking a step forward to grasp the trinket at the end and pull it to her, almost inspecting it for errors. Heaving a sigh, she closed her hand around the small cube and looked back at Rey.

"Is he dead?" She asked without inflection.

"No, not dead" Rey said understanding that she was asking about Kylo Ren.

Brea let out a breath like she had been bracing herself for a different answer then she looked around at Poe and Rey and the speeder behind her before turning back to Rey in understanding.

"If Leia sent a Jedi and her best pilot to find me, it must be bad."

Brea accompanied them back to their ship, quiet and contemplative, looking at the charm in her hand often. Poe kept glancing between Rey and Brea trying to communicate with Rey about the next phase of their plan. How were they going to convince this girl to go with them across the galaxy on a crazy, dangerous, most likely to be unsuccessful, mission?

Once in the privacy of the ship, seated around the small galley table Brea broke her silence.

"So how much do you know about who I am?" She asked, avoiding eye contact. Rey got the impression that she was not used to being scrutinized so closely. She seemed very much like a person more comfortable disappearing into the background. Difficult to do with her stunning looks and the force so strongly vibrating around her.

"Only what Leia knew of you." Rey began gently, "That you were friends with Ben Solo before he went to Snoke. That you were Luke's student, that you left with Kylo Ren when he destroyed the Jedi temple…and that sometime later, with the help of Han Solo, you escaped from the First Order and went into hiding." Rey paused, not sure how to say the last bit but Brea just waited her out somehow sensing that she knew the rest. "…and…and that Kylo Ren was in love with you. Your escape was when he turned fully to serve Snoke."

Brea stared down at her hands, playing with the small gold piece she still held tightly. She refused to look up or acknowledge what Rey had said though Rey knew she had heard every word. The atmosphere was crackling with discomfort, anger, sadness rolling off of the girl in waves so strong Rey was surprised even a non-force user like Poe couldn't feel it filling up the space.

Rey ventured again, "Leia thinks that you might be able to help us make a connection with Ben Solo. She is desperate for her son to switch sides. She thinks it's the only was the rebellion will survive."

Brea let out a small laugh but there was no humor in it.

"Leia thinks to use me as bait but she couldn't be more wrong. Ren will not be swayed by me. If anything, you risk more by brining me into this equation."

Rey was at a loss. Leia had told her that Ben Solo had loved this girl, had taken her with him into his dark life. That she was the key to bringing him back, showing him that he could have more on the side of the light than he could with the dark. What if she had been wrong. What if the information Leia had was bad and this girl meant nothing to Ben Solo or Kylo Ren. They would be lost, all hope finally extinguished.

With nothing left to lose Rey decided to ask the question that had been burning in her mind since Leia tasked her with this mission. "What happened between you and Ben Solo?"

Eight Years Earlier

Ben walked slowly through the Jedi camp, pleased at having come from a very successful sparring match with some of his class. What his uncle said he lacked in control he made up for in training and it was paying off. Having been Luke Skywalker's first student it had taken him some time to learn that his uncle, while kind, was also learning himself when it come to the Force and when it came to combat. Having started training at the age of six at the Jedi temple with Master Skywalker, Ben had the advantage of learning combat techniques earlier than most of his classmates. The other padawans looked up to him for his skill and it was satisfying to have them ask for his help outside of the guidance of Master Skywalker, and also satisfying when his uncle agreed and allowed him to run a sparring class with some of the more advanced padawans.

Now eighteen years old and having spent so much of his time under his uncle's tutelage, Ben was ready to move on. He wanted to be named a Master himself, go and join the rebellion still at work dismantling empire strongholds across the galaxy. Train his own students and grow the Jedi forces. Thinking once again about leaving the temple as he walked across the camp gave him a renewed sense of purpose. He would broach the subject with Master Skywalker again tonight after meditation, hopefully his uncle would see he was ready to move on.

Slowing as he reached the clearing near his cottage he was distracted by the lightsaber training going on between some padawans just a year younger than himself. Two students faught with training sabers while their classmates looked on, Luke Skywalker walking around the display calling out corrections. Most padawans at this stage were very adept at wielding a saber but this fight seemed laughably mismatched. A boy, a good six inches shorter than ben himself was battling a petite girl with striking blond hair knotted at the back of her head. She was losing. Badly. Every strike that the young man delivered was parried but just barely in time. It was like she couldn't anticipate anything he was about to do even though Ben knew that they had ran this exercise many times before. Ben stopped to watch.

The girl dodged a blow meant to come down on her head and feinted sideways out of the way of another strike aimed for her shoulder. Every time Ben though she would go on the offensive she hesitated. It was there in her face, she was concentrating so hard that you could almost see the thoughts working their way through her body, every move a quarter of a second delayed. It was so unusual for a Jedi Padawan. They were taught to use their instincts, feel how to move, let the force guide those decisions not your brain, your brain is too slow. The fight continued, Luke calling out small adjustments. It was difficult to watch the girl, so determined, fail so miserably in front of her peers. When a quick succession of attacks came she was backed into a corner, up against a hut with nowhere left to retreat it seemed the fight was over. And that's when it happened.

Something in the girl's face changed, a look of determination bordering on anger came over her delicate features and all of a sudden, her opponent was thrown off, not thrown across the lawn but backed up a few steps. That's when she took the offensive. The girl flew at her once attacker swinging her practice saber with such grace and speed that it was hard to keep up watching her. The boy was now that one being backed across the lawn a look of shock on his face as he hastily tried to parry her advances. She landed a blow on his arm and just as she came around to deliver a blow that would end the fight…

"Stop!" a shout from Master Skywalker.

The girl froze and lowered her weapon instantly. Skywalker approached the two, first checking that the boy was alright from the blow he had taken to the arm, nothing serious, a little numbness for a couple hours, they had all experienced it before. Then he moved to the girl, placing a hand on her shoulder and speaking directly in her ear. Although Ben could only see her face, it told him enough. She went from determined to a disappointed slump in two seconds, looking near tears when Luke dismissed the class. All of the padawans headed for their huts, most likely eager to get to dinner. The girl was swallowed up in the small crowd leaving the practice arena. Ben approached his uncle, confused by why his uncle had stopped the training just when the girl seemed to find her footing.

Luke noticed him approaching and met him half way.

"Ben, how did your sparring class get on without me today." Luke asked, smiling.

"Fine. No issues." Ben replied not focused on his class after watching the display.

"Good." Luke said, "I trust that I will see you at meditation then." Skywalker made to walk away but Ben could not withhold his curiosity.

"Master Skywalker, " He began, "Can I ask why you stopped the lesson just now? It seemed unfair to not let the girl redeem herself after what I saw at the start."

Luke paused, clearly wanting to answer but choosing his words carefully. "Brea can be a wonderful fighter. She does poorly because she works so hard to keep her emotions in check. What you saw at the end of that fight was not Jedi fighting." He took a breath, "That was anger. When she allows it to come out she is one of the most skilled swordsmen I have ever seen, but it's not the light side of the force that is guiding her then. I fear that if I do not check her now, we may lose her later."

Ben was surprised by how candid his uncle was being with him about another student. He knew about the dark side of the force of course, every Padawan knew of the Sith, but Luke was usually so careful about discussing it with Ben. Luke knew that Ben felt the pull to the darkness on more than one occasion his anger, fear, resentment pushing through his Jedi training. It was reassuring to Ben to know that he was not the only Padawan that had struggled with this.

"Will you be able to teach her to control it?" Ben asked, for his own piece of mind as well as curiosity.

"Oh yes," Luke said, lightening the mood, "She will be fine, she has not been training as long as some, it will come in time."

Reassured that his uncle did not think the girl, or himself, irredeemable Ben parted ways with him, making his way to dinner and planning to catch up with him again later to broach the topic of Ben leaving the academy.

Meditation went a little too quickly that night for Ben. Sometimes it felt as if it lasted forever with his mind wandering constantly, but tonight, nervous about the conversation he needed to have with Master Skywalker it flew by. He did notice Brea at the gathering, sitting with her Padawan classmates near the back, face blank of emotion. Even with her eyes red rimmed from crying he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. It surprised him that he hadn't taken note of it earlier, too distracted by her fierce fighting to pay much attention to her looks. Noticing beauty was vanity and not something Jedi were supposed to notice but now that Ben had noticed it was impossible to not notice. Her hair was down now, loose from the normal Jedi training style and made her seem much softer, if possible, more delicate but older too. He must have stared a moment too long because one of his friends, another Padawan his age caught his eye and wagged his eyebrows at Ben who quickly looked away and refocused on his meditation, endeavoring to think only on the matter at hand.

As the other padawans left for their huts Ben once again sought out his teacher. Luke did not seem surprised to see him approach, probably reading his intention before he moved.

"Master Skywalker," Ben began, "I wanted to speak to you about my graduation."

A look of resignation and trepidation crossed Luke's face. He gestured for Ben to follow and began walking out toward the cliffs.

"Ben, I knew that this was coming." Luke said, once they were out of earshot of the other students. "I know how eager you are to join your mother in the fight against what remains of the Empire"

Ben jumped in, eager to plead his case, "I want to help them. Soon all of the Empire will be eradicated, even from the outer rim and I want to be a part of that. You were my age when you joined the rebellion, I want to take my place there too."

Luke turned to him, facing him fully. "Fighting is not glamorous or heroic. It's a necessity sometimes but not something to be enjoyed. I'm sorry Ben, I know you think you are ready. You're strong and skilled with the Force but I fear your lack of control sometimes."

Ben had feared this. He knew his uncle had sometimes felt the anger that manifested within him. At his parents for dumping him here when he was young, at Luke for trying to stifle his skill and at himself for failing to be able to control his emotions.

Luke watched the play of emotions cross Ben's face and then spoke again.

"You are a gifted Jedi. You will make a great Master one day. One day soon. You're already a far better teacher than me. Another few months Ben, that's all I ask. Just some time to let you really feel the direction you want to take, that's all."

Ben tried to control the resentment welling up inside him, fought for the state of peace that all Jedi were supposed to be able to access. It didn't come. Frustrated with himself and his teacher he simply thanked Luke for hearing him out and walked away back toward his hut, taking the long way by the woods.

Focused on the crunch of grass under his boots and the growing disappointment he almost didn't notice the dim flash of light coming from the forest several moments later. He turned his head in that direction, wondering if he was imagining things, it wouldn't be the first time the Force had played tricks on him. And then he caught a glimpse of it again, a dim blue glow flashing past a tree a couple hundred paces off of the trail he now stood on. Curious about what or who would be out in the woods so late he watched his step, creeping closer silently. Padawans were not allowed out after evening mediation, who would risk punishment to go for a walk in the woods? As he crept closer he noticed the gentle hum that belonged to one of their practice sabers, not as elegant a sound as a real lightsaber, sharper, more metallic. Ben, careful to disguise his presence with the foliage around him peeked from behind the tree and spotted her.

Brea was furious. Evening meditation had done nothing to soothe her wounded pride about failing so miserably in front of Master Skywalker earlier. Why was she so unable to suppress her emotions, she cursed at herself. Every other Padawan seemed able to do it without a problem but not her. Oh, no. She just fought to keep them in check throughout every practice and then got beat by her opponent without fail. But today, oh today had been the worst yet. She had let go. For one glorious moment she had let that frustration free, let it well up inside her, let it guide her movements and then been reprimanded for her lack of restraint. She knew Master Luke was right, she needed to let go of her fear of failure, her anger at her circumstances, let it go and just let the Force guide her. But that was the problem too, the Force did guide her…right back to her volatile emotions, every time.

Brea felt defeated but she wasn't ready to give up yet. She had nothing to go back to if this didn't work out and she hated the thought of an aimless existence like her mother. With that thought driving her Brea left evening mediation with a plan. She would show Master Skywalker she could do this. She just needed more practice. Go back to the basic Jedi forms. Find peace in the movement of a lightsaber, in the lifting of rocks, in the meditation Jedi so regularly practiced. Though she new it to be against the rules she veered from her route to her hut in favor of some seclusion in the woods, a place where she wouldn't be bothered. A place she could practice and learn to stifle the emotions that held her back.

She picked her way through the woods at the north end of the camp, careful not to stray too far in. The last thing she needed was to get lost out here at night and then have to explain to Master Skywalker why he had to send out a search party for her. He would probably send his nephew to find her. Ben Solo. She had seen him witness her failure today. It must be hard for someone like him to understand her problem. Everything came so easily to him and his friends. She had seen them training, enthralled by the way they all fought so savagely but always within the confines of the Jedi code. She had longed for that skill.

Reaching a spot that had enough clear space for her to move around Brea dropped her cloak at the foot of a tree and took out her practice saber. Taking a few calming breaths, she extended it and powered it on, beginning with the simplest forms and moving through them in sequence, slowly and methodically, trying to focus solely on the weight of the saber, its relation to her body. The movement and countermovement. Balance. She would stay out here till dawn if she had to but she would find a way to overcome this.

Ben was impressed. She knew the forms flawlessly, each movement fluid and careful but there was something not quite right about it. Technically he could see that she knew exactly what to do, where to place her feet. How to hold the saber. But something he couldn't place felt…off. Like the movements were somehow outside herself, not quite her own. Ben had watched and helped many students. Padawans who couldn't remember the footwork or who constantly rotated the wrong direction but his was something new. A challenge to be explored. He waited till she took a break between sets and then spoke.

"You know the forms very well."

Brea gasped and whirled around but didn't scream outright which Ben respected. He had thought he might frighten her but knew of no better way to announce his presence than simply doing it. Her expression went from fear to disappointment so quickly he was almost offended. He tried again.

"Your forms…their very good, you move well." He waited for her response.

"Thank you." She said warily. "I guess this means I'm in trouble then?"

"For your forms being good?" Ben asked, deliberately missing her meaning.

"No. For being out here. It's against the rules, and aren't you like second in command here or something?"

Ben could tell that she was annoyed with his presence, thinking that he would run to his uncle and tattle. That's what he should do but he wasn't feeling particularly grateful to all of the Jedi rules at the moment.

"Some rules can be bent." He said, then realizing that sounded traitorous amended, "I mean you're practicing so I don't really see the harm in it."

Ben saw her relax a bit, her shoulders going down a little. They stood in awkward silence for a moment. Ben broke it first.

"Do you want some help?" He offered.

"With what, you said my forms were good." Brea pointed out. Ben laughed, nodding his agreement.

"Yeah, your forms are good but there is something off. You can feel it, I can tell."

She looked away from him, ashamed that he could tell so quickly that there was something wrong with her. Ben noticed her shutting down immediately, retracting into herself. He drew his practice saber.

"Attack me." He said.

Brea stared at him like he had grown a second head.

"No thanks," She said half turning away, "I don't much feel like getting my ass kicked today thanks." She turned to pick up her cloak, clearly done with the conversation.

"Come on." Ben goaded, "I'll go easy on you." That worked. He could feel her resolve even before he could read it on her face. She didn't like shrinking from a challenge, and make no mistake he had just issued one. He felt her decision far before she made a move to act on it, swinging around on the offensive and attaching relentlessly, trying to push him back. He parried easily, not even trying to take control of the fight, just gauging her tactics.

She had skill, that wasn't the problem, all of her moves were flawless just preceded by a split second of doubt each time making her predictable, slow for a Jedi. An easy weakness to exploit.

When Ben decided that he had something to work with he changed tactics, advancing and quickly disarming her. Bea looked pissed. Embarrassed for sure at having her weapon taken so easily but more angry than anything else. And maybe a little self-loathing he felt in there too. Interesting. How could a gorgeous spitfire like her have self-loathing. The errant thought passed before he could check it and Ben shook it off tossing her blade back to her.

"I can read your decisions, it's like you pause before you execute them. It should be instinctual, like breathing. Just let force flow through you freely." He explained.

"That's the problem." She said, "I can't just let the Force flow through me. Every time I try it, it fails. " She struggled to find the right words, "I mean, it works for the fighting part, I definitely get better at that… but then Master Skywalker, he says I go …dark."

The admission was a difficult one for her, it showed in her eyes and her voice. Looking for a way to reassure her, Ben pressed.

"What do you mean you go dark? Like you use the dark side of the Force?"

"I guess so." She shrugged, "Master Skywalker says that he can sense that I am using my anger or fear to guide me. That's not what Jedi do."

Ben understood exactly what she meant. He had witnessed it when he watched her fight earlier that day. Truth be told he had many similar conversations with his uncle too when he was younger. Always being reminded that Jedi's power came from a place of peace. Although he understood the concept he didn't pretend that there weren't times that he still took out his aggression on his opponents…he just didn't do it in front of his uncle anymore. Not wanting to admit this to a girl he barely know Ben refocused on what he could help with.

"Okay" He said, "Let's try this. I'm going to attack you the same way over and over and I want you to block the same way over and over. Maybe you can build your responses into your muscle memory so much that you are working without relying on the force so much."

"That's just normal fighting." She said dismayed, "Am I even a Jedi if I fight like that?"

"Your inherent Force sensitivity makes you well on your way to Jedi." He tried to reassure her, "Everything else is just training."

Satisfied with that answer for now Brea shook out her arms and got into defensive position. Ben came at her with an overhead strike which she deflected deftly. Without pause he repeated the move for the next ten minutes before switching and coming at her with a side slash, pulling back when, unprepared for the change, she missed the parry and his practice sword hit her side.

"Sorry," He apologized immediately, stepping back.

"No its fine, I want to keep going." She said, dropping back into her stance. Ben smiled and delivered another strike.

They continued like this for what must have been a couple of hours. No breaks just clean, repetitive practice. Finally Brea called a stop, looking weary. They gathered their cloaks and began walking back toward the camp.

Feeling awkward about the silence Brea spoke up.

"Thank you for helping me tonight." She said shyly.

"It's no problem." Ben started, and then decided to confide in her, "I needed to work off some energy tonight anyway. I had a tough conversation with my uncle today." He wasn't sure why he was being so candid with her but it felt right to get it off his chest.

"About what?" She asked, tentatively.

Ben sighed, "I want him to make me a master so I can go and join the rebellion forces. There is still a lot of work to do out there but I worry that it will all be over by the time Master Skywalker graduates me to Jedi Master. "

Brea nodded. "I get it. If I thought I could help I'd want to be out there too."

They walked in companionable silence the rest of the way to the edge of the woods.

"Well, thanks again." Brea said, starting to sneak back towards her hut.

" Hey Brea," Brea stopped, her heart leaping just a bit at hearing her name in that deep soothing voice. "If you wanted to train like this again…well I could meet you here tomorrow maybe?"

"Honestly, that would be really helpful." Se smiled, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then, after meditation."

"Yeah, see you then." Ben said and let her walk away toward the camp watching till the darkness enveloped her small frame and then reaching out tentatively with the Force till he could sense her. She seemed happy, he was glad he could help her. As much as he didn't want to overanalyze his feelings he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He should have reprimanded her, told her to go back to camp, informed his uncle…but he just couldn't. Something about her called to him and he identified with her problem. So for now, he wouldn't worry too much. What harm could come from helping her train, he did it for other padawans all the time.

She would be like any other student. A beautiful, sweet, compelling student.