Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight, not me.

Time goes fast when you're having fun. It's hard to stop talking to Emmett. There might be a few awkward silences once in a while but that's just because of the things he comes up with. I mean, which idiot has had dead rats chucked at them? Emmett apparently.

Seems to me like he has had the most fun upbringing, with a really big family! Every couple in his family has had more than four children. Ouch. But lets not go there. Plus, everyone in his family is weird. And they all lived together and they all went on holidays together. And from what Emmett told me, he can't wait to break his family's children record. The highest is seven children! He wants to get ten.

He couldn't be happier. He has met the perfect woman and had a perfect childhood. His family adore Rosalie who is intelligent, breath-taking and nice. What do i have? Apart from a shopaholic best friend who has also met the significant other. I have had a rotten childhood, my parent had divorced when i was two. I couldn't live with either of my parents because they pampered me to show that they were the best parent and i was an only child. I got the worst characteristics from my parents, not the best ones. I didn't get Charlie's bravery or Renee's smile lines.

I got a hideous blush that appears when someone mentions me or something about me. I'm clumsy and i can't seem to get spots! Not like i want any but every other teenager or adult has had them. I seem to be a freak. I can't even get a tan so i'm stuck with my freaky pale skin. Which brings out the colour of my boring brown eyes. Why couldn't have i got hazel like Charlie's?

If i was saying this to someone, they would think i was being jealous. Another terrible characteristic. I can't get jealous! Even though i'm plain looking, teenage boys of Forks, Washington found something special about me.

Rejecting them, which is clearly not the best term coming from me, didn't turn them away. They tried to get in my circle of friends. Which was me, my mind, my books, Alice and Jasper her boyfriend.

It's not like they weren't good looking. All the boys there had beautiful eyes; different shades of blue, grey, even brown and green. Not Edward green but still quite a beautiful colour. Most of them were in good shape and their hair could tell you their personality. But they just didn't interest me. It made me feel shallow but i couldn't like them, it was like they were made for someone else.

The La Push guys were something else. I was attracted to Jacob Black, Charlie's best friend's son. We went out for a couple of weeks and i loved him, i really did but he wasn't mine. He found his soul mate on our first and last argument. Seeing them happily together made me feel nothing, i couldn't mentally curse them or try to break them up. Charlie wasn't even jealous of the fact that someone else will marry his best friend's son and not his daughter.

I got this trait from Charlie. No matter how many men Renee went out with, it never affected him. It didn't take long for Renee to find her 'dream' man, Phil. Nothing will ever make Charlie jealous.

Enough of genes, i was proud to be invited to their wedding and being listed on Emmett's close friends list. I also get to bring a plus one! Pathetic i know but how many guys do this kind of sensitive activity? Plus, Emmett told me that i grew on him. So sweet...

He also told me how to deal with the Edward problem, all i had to do was block out his pick-up lines. 'Twisting his masculine activity' in other words.

Alice was so glad and relieved when i got home. Crazy, she thought i was kidnapped. Who on earth would kidnap me? I'm worth nothing. She was bouncing up and down when i told her that i went to a club! She acted a bit strange when i told about Emmett and how i was invited to his wedding. I left out the Edward part as i didn't want her marching up to his office and poking her tiny finger in his chest. Now that would have been funny!

I was upset though, she refused to be my plus one. As she had plans with Jasper. Lucky guy! Unlucky me! Alice declared that dressing me up would be her moment of glory! I felt sorry for myself.

Anyway, it was time to go to sleep. I had to wake up before Alice, i didn't want her dressing me up.

Coffee....Where was the god damn coffee?

"If you're looking for coffee, i suggest you go to your boss. Seeing as he drained the machine dry."

Stupid Jessica. More stupid Edward Masen.

"He needs it." There. I said it.

"Ha! You're funny."

"I don't know what makes him so dumb but it really works." Where did that insult come from?

"Joker!"

"If shit was music, he would be an orchestra!" I'm pretty good at this stuff. Who knows? Edward's good at flirting while i'm good at insults.

"Have you got any more?"

"I heard that his brother was an only child. Now i see that it's true!"

"I don't get that one."

"What would you get? I would have liked to insult you but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me."

"I don't get that one either."

"When you understand, go on a holiday."

"Okay!" Just when i thought she was a fake blonde.

"So Bella?" What more did he want? Wasn't apologising enough for him? Apparently not.

"Yes?"

"I want to check your shirt label to see if you were made in heaven." He was hitting on me again! Focus Bella. Remember what Emmett told you.

"I was made in heaven, such a shame you were born in hell." Nice come-back Bella!

"Opposites attract. Tell me, how was heaven when you left?"

"Gutted, they knew i was going to meet you..."

"Well i am a magical being. Can i try to make your top and bra disappear?" He doesn't stop does he?

"No but you can try walking out of that door."

"I can try getting the box you left your virginity in." He wouldn't stop. Where did he get all these lines from? Does he do this to female judges or female witnesses? Well, he didn't learn in his lawyer school that Bella Swan got As in Drama and has Alice Brandon as a best-friend. A little crying and lying wouldn't hurt anyone.

"How could you have said that to me? That was very hurtful."

"I'm so sorry Bella. What happened? I was just teasing you."

"I haven't lost my virginity yet. I promised my late grandma that i would reserve it for my husband. Oh grandma Marie! I loved her so much! Why did she leave me?"

"Shush. It's okay Bella. People go all the time."

"She was special. Oh grandma Marie! My grandma Marie!" At the last comment, i hugged him with all my strength and wiped my nose on his shirt. He was too busy smelling my hair to notice. Burping on his shirt wouldn't have been bad but i had to be lady-like at this 'moment'.

"Go home. I only have two meetings left."

"Thank-you Edward." I felt bad about lying to him but i needed to visit Emmett. Twilight club seemed to be his territory.