DISCLAIMER: Sorry, still don't own anything except myself… and a portable phone, and a complete bedroom, and a Jeep, and a personal computer, and a bunch of CD's, and the deeds to the Moulin Rouge (whoops wrong Fan-Fic!)…

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It is day two of rehearsals. Everyone spent the night and we had a great many pillow fights… except for a few security problems and people somehow ending up in each other's sleeping bags (the managers are having a time-out right now), it was a rather "peaceful" evening.

Narrator: Okay, in this next scene, Dorothy and Toto get whisked away to Oz by way of tornado… everyone ready? Where's Erik?

Christine: I think he said something about killing Raoul, again, but I'm not sure…

Narrator: Greeaaattt… (making sure Raoul is still alive and finding him bouncing a ball against one of the set pieces) I guess we'll have to start without him. Carlotta!

Carlotta: Was that the wind?

Narrator: (rolls her eyes) La Divina?

Carlotta: Si?

Narrator: I need you to stand here… right here…

Carlotta: What, you mean on this rather large and impressive looking "X"?

Narrator: Yes, only the true divas get their own, personal "X's"…

Carlotta: (haughtily taking her place) I would have expected no less!

Narrator: Action! (a chandelier crashes to the stage, landing perfectly on the "X", and therefore crushing Carlotta) What the…

Andrè, Firmin, and Buquet: (link arms and dance around in a circle)

Ding, dong! The wicked witch is dead!

Wake up you sleepy heads, rub your eyes, get out of bed! Let them know the wicked… witch… is…

Carlotta: (from beneath the chandelier, slightly muffled) Shut up, you morons!

Narrator: Erik! (looks up, but can't find him anywhere… that is, until she feels a rope around her neck)

Erik: (standing behind her) I think a chandelier is so much better than a house, don't you my dear? Oh, and incidentally I now have complete and total control over this production, so you're out of a job.

Narrator: (sighing) I was afraid of this… Erik, I'd just like to say, I'm extremely sorry for this (snaps her fingers and a pair of headphones cover his ears)

Erik: Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggghhh!!! (falls to his knees, clawing at the strange device) What is this ?!?

Narrator: (wincing) Britney Spears… "Hit Me Baby One More Time"

Erik: (glares at her defiantly) Do your worse! (Narrator looks away, and snaps her fingers again. Erik starts having spasms, writhing around in agony) Please, Mademoiselle! Make it stop! Make it stop! (Narrator snaps, and the headphones disappear) What, was that ?!?

Narrator: Backstreet Boys… "Larger than Life"

(everyone looks at the Narrator in horror)

Meg: Bark! Yip! I mean, wow!

Firmin: You're quite terrifying, mademoiselle.

Narrator: Sorry…

Raoul: Hey! I'm in the next scene!

Erik: Yea… I mean, good for you boy.

Raoul: I am not a boy! I'm twenty something years old! And you're just a big meanie!

Erik: Point proven.

Narrator: Gentlemen please! We have work to do! (glances at script) Madame Giry!

Madame Giry: No.

Narrator: Please?

(Madame Giry floats down to the stage in a pink bubble, wearing a pink dress, still carrying her cane)

Narrator: Lose the cane please!

Madame Giry: (sighs, dropping the cane and pulling out her magic wand) Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Christine: Pink's a good color for you.

Madame Giry: You think so? I was a little nervous at first, but then…

Narrator: Ahem!

Christine: (looks down at her script) Oh! I'm not a witch at all! (smiles happily, until she sees the managers walk out onstage wearing brightly colored lederhosen… then she just bursts out laughing)

Firmin and Andrè: (in squeaky, yet still masculine, voices)

We represent the Lollypop Guild, the Lollypop Guild, the Lollypop Guild…

And in the name of the Lollypop Guuuuiiiillllddd! We wish to welcome you to Munchkin Land!

Christine: Oh! You two make the cutest couple I've ever seen!

Andrè: It's the matching outfits isn't it? But we're not done yet!

Firmin and Andrè:

Follow the yellow brick road!

Follow the yellow brick road! Follow… follow… follow… follow… follow the yellow brick road!

Erik: She won't follow any road without someone leading her… preferably with vocal commands, like this…

I am your angel, come to me angel of music… I am your angel, come to me angel of music (notices Narrator has grasped onto his leg) What are you doing?

Narrator: Hmmm… what? (looks around her) Oh! Heh, sorry… anyway, onto the next scene!

Raoul: My scene! Starts singing:

If I only had a brain… oh, I could tell ya' why the ocean's near the shore…

Erik: (mocking him) If you only had a brain…

Narrator: (hitting Erik upside the head) Hey! Be nice to my Scarecrow! He's the best character in the story!

Erik: Then why is this fop playing him? Why not me?

Narrator: Erik, you're not exactly the warm, fuzzy type, understand? You'd actually be able to scare the crows away. (walks up to Raoul, giving him a hug) Now Raoul, while not exactly the most competent person around, is definitely the most huggable and user-friendly. You're… you're… (starts drooling)

Erik: (moving towards the nearest exit) Right… now, what are you all waiting for? The fo… I mean, Raoul's scene is next!

Raoul: (jumps up and down) My scene… my scene…

* My apologies to whoever likes the Backstreet Boys and/or Britney Spears, for some reason I just didn't think they'd appeal to Erik. Oh, and to angelofnight and anyone else, don't be mad at me! Raoul, "If I only had a Brain"… it was just too much for me to resist… please don't hurt me [whimpers and hides]… believe me, I love the Scarecrow! Always have and always will! I love you all… you know that, right? [ducks as rotten tomatoes are thrown at her] Don't worry, more to come…*