Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight
This story is addicting :) I want to figure out what happens next, and I'm the one writing it! If you have any questions or ideas please PM me, if I like them, I'll try to find a way to fit them in. I won't be updating this again until I get five review, love ya.
OMG EDDYKINS WILL BE HERE SUPERSOON!
My Big Mister Perfect
The "Baby Blues"
Plane rides would always fascinate me. I could see the world gliding beneath me, my old life trailing behind. I would finally have my new start.
I was feeling pretty sick after eating some of the airplane food, so when the flight attendant asked, I just said "Water and peanuts please!" I was in a really good mood, so far so good. I plopped a peanut into my mouth, and turned on my i-pod to its highest volume. I sat back and tried to relax.
Whenever I wasn't doing something, the same thoughts always came to me. Why was I so hollow? I felt so empty. Was it because I was leaving my whole life of Phoenix behind me? I had no clue. After a few more minutes of pondering, I dismissed the thought for now, and lost myself in the blaring music.
I didn't know how long I had been asleep, but I felt myself being shaken awake by someone. My eyelids fluttered, they were stubborn. I finally tore myself from my slumber to see Emmett bouncing excitedly in front of me. We must be at the airport, I thought. Em answered my thoughts saying ecstatically, "We're here sleepyhead!! Let's go!" I chuckled lightly to myself, and got up. I was so sore from the ride, I had to stretch out my limbs quickly before exiting the plane.
We quickly found our rental car, it was a shiny black SUV. Emmett insisted on getting lunch before going to the house, so we made a quick stop to McDonalds. I got a humungous, greasy burger and fries, and of course a McFlurry.
As we went back out to the car, I felt butterflies rising in my stomach. I hadn't been to Forks in…forever. Or at least a very long time. I tried to convince Emmett not to turn on the radio, but he wasn't having that.
After about two hours, we pulled up to the little house that Charlie had left to us. It was so cute, and homey; much more so than Renee's house. Emmett fumbled with the keys and his bags, but finally managed to get the door open. When we walked inside, we both gasped. It was just like I remembered, no one had moved the furniture, or even the pictures of me and Em on the mantle. I felt the moisture in my eyes, and looked over to see a tiny amount of pain on his face. I walked over and squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.
We enjoyed exploring the house; from the bright yellow cabinets in the kitchen, to Charlie's bedroom. I couldn't believe that after all that had happened, we could actually find a haven where our father had once lived. I walked down the hall from Charlie's room, to find my old room. It was just as I had remembered it, but covered in a layer of dust (like most of the house.) I would have to shop for new sheets, and get Emmett to dust or something while I was at school.
School. Just that one word can drive one crazy. If you really think about it, you'll realize that I've only had a couple months of high school. Most of my freshman year consisted of "Professor Emmett," and very interesting lectures. I hoped that it wouldn't be too hard; this would all be so different for me.
I decided to quickly clean up my room, so I grabbed my dust-sheets off the bed, and stumbled my way to the washer. After successfully finding detergent, I stuffed the comforter into it. After that, I swept the dust that had gathered over the years, and emptied my drawers and closet of all of my childhood clothes that I kept here.
I opened my suitcases, and started putting my shirts in the closet. When I was done with that, I took out my pants and PJs and put them in the dresser. I sighed. The cleaning distraction never worked. Did school really and truly have to start in five days?
I glared at nothing. The people here had better be nice, I threatened no one in particular. I knew that they'd just not like me, I'm a weird freak to everyone. Hopefully word of my pregnancy wouldn't spread; it was a small town after all, and news of a raped sixteen-year old would spread pretty fast. Not to mention the fact that Charlie had been the police chief, so no doubt everyone will know me before I know them. Maybe I'll even make some friends, I thought to myself. I banished that thought a second later; why would anyone want to be friends with plain, ugly Bella Swan?
o0o
Four days to go. Emmett was job-hunting, and all I did was eat, sleep, and watch TV. I cried occasionally, for no apparent reason. I searched deep in my heart, and realized that I was lonely. Very, very lonely. I sniffled, trying to contain my tears.
Why would I feel so lonely? Of course, Emmett wasn't here, but he had left last month for a dentist's appointment in Phoenix and I had been fine. Unconsciously, I stroked my stomach. That's when I finally realized what was wrong. Major epiphany. I missed being pregnant!
I gasped at my realization. Pregnancy had been wonderful for me. I had felt so happy and like my life was complete. Now that the baby was gone, I knew a part of me was missing.
I started sobbing uncontrollably. Just then, Emmett burst through the front door, and before I could compose myself, he ran over to me and pulled me into a hug. "What's the matter, Bells?" he asked. I couldn't answer. I had the hugest lump in my throat, and I couldn't stop crying. He rubbed soothing circles into my back, and calmed me down. We didn't talk about that for the rest of the day.
That was the first night that the screaming started. I had always talked in my sleep, for some weird reason. So, it was only natural for me to scream when I had nightmares. The dream was so blurry, and I couldn't really make anything out.
I woke up, startled and screaming my head off. Emmett ran into my room, and looked at me, startled. I was sitting up, and had a pillow in my lap, which I had decided to muffle my screams with. Emmett carefully picked me up, and cradled me with his arms. He said to me, quietly, "I think we should go to the doctor." I just nodded, I'd heard of the "Baby Blues" before. I hadn't expected to get them, though.
o0o
Three days left. Emmett made me an appointment with a psychiatrist, a Dr. Cullen. I wasn't stubborn about it, I just wanted to get rid of the emptiness.
We drove up to a quaint little doctor's office, and walked through the light rain to get inside. I quickly scanned the "lobby." It was actually very cozy. It was much nicer than any doctor's office I'd ever been to. Emmett went to sign in, and I sat down on a fluffy armchair.
A very handsome blonde man opened a door a couple of minutes later, and called, "Bella Swan?"
Emmett led me over to the door with his hand on the small of my back. The doctor smiled at us, and gestured for us to follow him to a small room.
Ha ha. This was soooo cool. I know in movies and stuff they have the weird looking sofa bed and stuff, I always thought it was fake. I looked at the awesome blue sofa-bed, it was so cool!
Dr. Cullen laughed at my awed expression, and gestured for me to sit down. I giggled as I obliged. Dr. Cullen was the first to speak. "I'm Dr. Cullen," no duh, "but you can call me Carlisle. Emmett has told me what happened, and I'm really sorry. The symptoms he mentioned are all of postpartum depression. Of course, I have to talk to you before I can officially diagnose it." He smiled at me. He really seemed like a nice guy, so I smiled back.
We talked about how I was feeling, and he was so understanding. He said that his wife had gone through this when she'd had a miscarriage.
After the one-hour session was over, Carlisle told me to come back next week, but on Wednesday. He had to mess with the times so I wouldn't miss my second day of school.
When we got home, Emmett said that he'd make dinner, and told me to go rest. I obliged, I was so tired all of a sudden. I remembered that Carlisle said fatigue was a symptom. The other symptoms were: depressed mood, tearfulness, the inability to enjoy otherwise fun events, trouble sleeping, appetite problems, and suicidal thoughts. Yikes.
I wasn't feeling suicidal just yet, but I did notice that I was having trouble sleeping, even though I was exhausted.
I sleepily walked to the couch, and lied down. I instantly fell asleep, which was a surprise. I woke up about an hour later, to the yummy smell of chicken fajitas. Emmett, I love you!!
I stumbled over to the dining room table groggily, and sat down. Emmett came out with his chef's hat and apron, carrying two plates that looked absolutely delish!
He told jokes to me as we ate, and we had an alright time. Something just didn't feel right. As I thought that, I remembered one of the symptoms, the inability to enjoy otherwise fun events. Oh, boo-yah.
o0o
One Day Left. Yesterday had been a bit odd. Emmett decided to have a "Disney Marathon." He was super exited that he had found a job at a car shop.
Today, however, was pretty boring, and somehow I knew that tomorrow would be too. Everyday would be boring for the rest of my life, why should I live it? Oh, crap, not the suicidal thoughts, Emmett's gonna freak out! I forced a happy face in the mirror. Ha ha, yeah, I looked like a creepy zombie. I had big bags under my eyes, and was super pale.
I needed to get out of the house, so I told Emmett that I was going food shopping. I went to the grocery store, with my list in hand. It was such a relief to get out of the house!
When I walked in, the first thing I thought was, holy crap it's bright in here! I had to shield my eyes at first. I strolled through the aisles, picking up the things that I needed. When I thought I was done, I realized that I had forgotten the milk, so I turned to the back of the store.
There was already someone there, a man. I waited patiently as he grabbed a gallon. I couldn't help but take in his appearance while I was waiting, he was pretty thin. It wasn't a bad thin, but a muscular, hot thin. He had bronzish hair, and pale skin. It might have even been paler than mine! When he turned around, I saw that he had the most beautiful face, and sparkling emerald green eyes. He looked about my age.
He smiled a crooked smile that melted my heart. That's when I realized that I was staring at him. Oops, he dazzled me. I smiled back, and pushed the cart over so that I could grab some 1. I grabbed two gallons; Emmett said he was making cookies tonight.
When I turned back towards the front, I realized the man was still standing there, staring at me with a questioning glance. I blushed a tiny bit, and raised my eyebrows at him. Ha, caught ya! He blushed too, and looked down.
Then, he talked. He had the most beautiful, velvet voice that I had ever heard before. It was so nice, so soft and sweet. I listened to his question, "Did you just move here? I've never seen you before."
I grimaced. The questioning already started, and school hadn't even begun yet.
I answered, "Yah, I'm Bella Swan, Charlie's daughter. I just moved up here from Phoenix." The guy winced. He must have known Charlie. "The whole town's been waiting for you," he grinned, "I'm Edward Cullen, nice to meet you." Crap, did he just say 'Cullen'?
"Nice to meet you, I've gotta get going or my food'll get warm." I looked down and walked away. I didn't know Carlisle had a son! That was sooo awkward. Of course, Carlisle had no reason to tell me anything about himself; he was trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
o0o
Last Day. I was so nervous! It had finally hit me that school was starting TOMORROW. I was screaming in my head, AHHHHH!!
I cleaned and re-cleaned every room in the house. I made a salad, which takes me forever, and I watched about five hours of pointless movies. When it was finally early enough to go to bed, I rushed upstairs. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and wash my face, and I changed into my PJs.
I went to my room, and got under the covers. It took me about two hours to fall asleep. I had another nightmare, and woke up at about two in the morning. Crap, there was no way I was getting back to sleep.
I just lied there, thinking. My thoughts turned to the irresistibly hot son of my psychiatrist, and I sighed. Yah, keep dreaming girl. And so I did. Miraculously I slept for the rest of the night without a dream.
o0o
I woke up to the buzzing of my alarm clock. It was 6:30. I sighed as I got up to get ready for my first day at Forks High School.
I pulled on my clothes over my haystack of hair, and made my way to the bathroom. Emmett was still asleep; I could hear him snoring from here. I washed my face, and brushed my unruly hair until it was descent. I applied a tiny amount of makeup; I preferred my appearance to look natural, not OMG, I'M LIKE FREAKING PREPPY.
I quietly went down the hall to Emmett's room. I opened the door, and saw him sleeping peacefully. I really didn't want to wake him up, but I needed him to drive me to school. I shook his shoulder gently and whispered, "Emmett." His eyes fluttered open, and took in my appearance. He smiled at me and said, bouncing on his bed, "First day of school, first day of school!" He jumped up, wearing Finding Nemo boxers, ha ha.
He ran downstairs to make me breakfast. I followed him, rolling my eyes as I went. He made a successful batch of pancakes, and when I was done eating, we had just enough time to drive to school.
A/N: muahahaha, she met Eddykins at the supermercado (supermarket en espanol) lol. Yah, I liked this chapter, I hope you do too. Remember to review, I won't update again until I have five new ones!
Source for info about postpartum depression:
/postpartumdepression/articleem.htm