CRAVING THE BLADE

"Hey Leara?" "Yeah?"

Leara was in the shower. Consedering how often normal girls took showers she almost never took one. "I'm going to go for a walk!"

"Okay! Bye!"

I walked out the door and started walking. I felt really lonely. I wasn't alone but love wise I was. I had come to terms with my self about the way I felt about Leara but I didn't know what to do about it. She didn't love me at least not in the way I wanted her to. "God this sucks. OOF!"

I fell back on to the ground after running in to something. I opened my eyes to see a young boy with brown messy hair glaring at me.

"Oh sorry! Did I run in to you?" "Yeah. Watch where you going next time."

"Hey! Your just like me! Your a wolf!"

"What of it?"

"Nothin' really. What are you doing in a city like this? Where are you headed?" "To Paradise."

"Paradise? Sounds cool!"

"I'm looking for the beacon that will lead me there."

"Is anyone going with you?"

"You could.Your a wolf just like me aren't you?"

"Well yeah but what does that have to do with this 'Paradise' place?"

"Every wolf goes in search of it."

"I would love to come but...someone important to me is here..."

"I see." "Hey ummmm could the 'person' I was talking about. Could they come with me if I went?" "So long as they don't slow me down I won't care."

"Really? That's great! I'll be right back! Stay here!"

I could take Leara to paradise! I don't really know what that is but it sounded fun. Besides this place was starting to become unfit to live in. It was getting colder and colder snow covered the ground. It had gotten so bad that they had put a dome over the city. Man I'm finally back home.

"Leara! Are you here?"

I heard faint whimpers coming from her bedroom. "Leara! Are you okay?"

"Toboe...don't come in here...I'm alright..really."

I pushed open the door to Leara's room and I basically had a mental breakdown at what was revealed. Leara was laying across the floor totally naked with pools of blood around he legs. "I...told you...not to...come..in."

When I took my eyes off of Leara I saw a man standing over Leara with no pants or boxers on. I realized what had happened then something inside me snapped. I turned into a wolf and jumped at him tearing at his are making a deep cut that had likely toren his muscles but I didn't care. All I could see right now was blind hate for this m

an. I couldn't stop myself. I slowly killed the man finishing with snapping his neck. After I stood over his dead body scared at what horrible an act I had just committed.

I turned around and looked at Leara. She looked terrified "Toboe..." After that she passed out. I got a towel and and rapped it around her. I picked her up and walked out the door. I went back to the place where I had tolled the wolf who had spoke of paradise but he wasn't there.

Damn I didn't want to look for him but I had to go. It took me about an hour to find him but I did. "Hey! Wait up!"

He turned around and looked at me with that freaky stare again "What is it. What took you so long?"

"I'd rather not say...wait here I'll seriously be right back this time."

" Hmph. Fine but were going soon so make it fast. And why do you smell like blood?" He turned up his nose and said "Human blood."

I stayed silent. I didn't want to talk about it. "Go I'll wait."said the man so I ran back to the house to get Leara cloth's. I assumed we would be leaving the city so I got her heavy cloth's. I took off her towel the put a big sweater,sweatpants and a pair on boots on her. Then carried her back to the alley where the wolf had been.

He looked at me and said "Why is that human with you still?"

"I'm going to take her with us. You said if they wouldn't slow you down you didn't care right? Well she won't so she's going to come."

"Did you ask her?"

"Well no but..."

"Does she know that you are a wolf ?"

"She does but she found out a little while ago."

"Fine. She can come. Were leaving at midnight. I still have to get Cheza."

"Who is Cheza?"

"Cheza is a girl made from Lunar flowers. She is going to lead us to Paradise." "Do...I have to help you steal her?"

"No. Your to little. You would only get in my way. I'll be back at midnight" "Good. I suck at sneaking and stuff like that. Umm what should I to until midnight?"

"Stay here with the girl."

"Okay"

"I have to go. See ya."

After the wolf left I looked at Leara whom I had laid down on the ground.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was a wolf. I was afraid that you would hate me. I was going to ask you to come to Paradise with me and that other wolf. I love you so I thought if I took you to Paradise that you might love me to. But after I killed some one in front of you, lied to you about the fact I'm a wolf I'm s

ure that you could never love me. I'm sorry that I forced myself into your life Leara. Please forgive . I'll take you to paradise as an apologie"

"Don't apolagize. It makes you look more like a kid than you really are." "Leara! Your awake!"

"Yeah...Thank you..." "For what? I lied to you!"

Leara reached out her hand and stroked my face. "You beat up that guy. You were the first person that treated me like a real person not like some charity case. And you said you loved me right? Do you want to know a little secret? I love you to"

She suddenly thrust herself forward pushing me back to the opposite wall and put her mouth to mine. After a while she pulled back and looked at me. "I'll go with you to Paradise. Toboe...I'll go wherever you go." "So you don't hate me for being a wolf?"

"Of course not. Hey Toboe? Can I take a nap like this? Laying on you feel's so good it's making me sleepy"

"Ha ha...Sure."

She fell asleep almost instantly after that. As I looked down at her I knew that I loved her and she loved me. I wanted to stay with her forever but I had to tell her what I have been doing. Sometimes I felt so sad and lonely I couldn't help it. I would find my self craving the touch of the bade against my wrist. Once it found its

way there I would cut away. As I thought this I felt the craving again. Looked down at Leara I knew that I couldn't while she was sleeping on me. I gently moved her over and took off my jacket placing it over her. I walked about three blocks away taking the knife out of my back pack. I felt scared every time I was about to cut but I knew releaf w

ould follow after. I lay the blade across one of my scars and turn the blade so that tip is barley touching the tip of the scar then gently slip it under my skin and pull it across.I repeat this process with sevreal other scars and as I see blood seep out of the old scars reopened and look down at it in shame.

I want to stop but I can't. What am I thinking? I can stop whenever I want right? My thoughts were interrupted as I heard someone shout my name. "Toboe! What in God's name are you doing" I jumped around and saw Leara standing about ten feet away looking at me with horror.

"Leara!"

I quickly pressed my arms to my chest but my cuts cry out in pain with the sudden contact of another object and I through them away from my body. "Oh god Toboe what have ...I...how...I just don't understand. Why are you doing this ? You could kill yourself!"

"I know! But I don't cut deep. I won't kill myself!"

"Why then?" "I just...I don't know. I feel guilty or sad about things so I'll cut. It just makes me feel better."

"But Toboe what if one day you make a misstake? You'll die! I don't want you to go! I've been alone my whole life until you showed up! Don't you dare leave me alone! I love you!"

(okies that was sappy :-p)

"I know that. And I won't leave you I just...can't stop.."

"YES YOU CAN! Just put that damn thing down and never touch it again!"

"It isn't that easy! I have to do It'll save me."

"Save you? You've gotta be kidin' me! "

She then jerked the knife out of my hand and through it on the ground.

"You said you loved me and If you really do the never touch a knife again. Promise me you'll stop!"

"But...I just.."

"Promise me!"

"I'll try...but sometimes I just have to.."

"No you don't."

"Bu--"

"Guys now would be a good time to run like hell!"

I turned and saw the white wolf running with a figure looking like a human girl. "Leara we gotta go!"

I threw her over my shoulder and ran.

"Toboe what are you doing!"

Normally I would havew replied but considering bulletts were shooting at our feet I thought it better not to. We ran fast and hard until we reached the exit to the dome. I looked at the white wolf and he started to run again so I followed. We ran for about a mile then rested. I took Leara off my back and sat her down. "Toboe...

who is this guy?"

"This guy is a wolf like me and ummmmm...yeah. The white wolf began to speak.

"Paradise is a world where wolves reign supreme."

The wolf wolf next to you said he wanted to take you there. If you don't want to then go on ahead and go back to the city."

"I'm gonna go. If Toboe is going. Right Toboe?" She flashed me a sweet simle and I nodded.

"Also who is that girl?" added Leara.

"She is Cheza she will lead us to paradise."

"Oh Hi Cheza!"

Leara said as she waved at Cheza. Cheza stepped behind Kiba and said, "This one does not understand. Why is there a human with us? This one wonders..."

"She Is coming with us to paradise Cheza."

"Oh...This one now understands Kiba!" She smiled up at him and then quieted. The wolf who's name we now knew was Kiba smiled at her the spoke again. "We'll run a little further so we can put some more distance between us and Freeze City. Then we'll rest."

We allnodded in agreement twards this statement them took off. A while into the run I realized that it had been stupid to carry Leara out of the city because she obvisoly had one hell of a pair of legs on her. I started to blush then shook the thought.

Kiba started talking again "Stop. We'll rest here for the night."

I looked at him questioningly.

"Were sleeping unprotected?"

He shook his head no and pointed at a small clump of rocks that formed a dome. "Oh...ha ha."

We all walked inside and sat down. I bet Leara's hurt but I knew she wouldn't admit it. Leara lied down a fell asleep almost 3 seconds later. Huu... That was just like her. Kiba curled up next to Cheza and hit the hay. So Cheza and I were the last up.

"Toboe this one thinks you need rest. You should go ahead and sleep." she said while smiling inocently.

"Okay." I looked over at Leara and noticed she was shivering. Oh yeah...it's cold out. Whoops. I crawled over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She felt so nice and soft. (Toboe: Mabey it was her shirt I was feeling! Me: I think it was somthing elese!.) "Goodnight Leara. I love you." When I began to dose I heard her say. "I l

ove you too."

AUTHORS NOTE: Well I just wanna tell all of you that chapters won't usually come this fast like one right after another because the reason there so fast right now is because I all ready had the first three chapters written It just took me forever to add them to soooooo yeah and plus shool started so shit loads of less time. And all y

ou fans to - Tusume Heige Blue Cher Hubb and Quent there all slowly but surely comin' into the story. (if you can call it that) well I know it needs some work but I hope you'll 'sept m' story for what it is. bye! see ya next chapter. hu...that sounded weird...