Note: This is a continuation of the previous chapter. It takes place in a universe in which Zoom has been defeated, Jay, Harry, and Jessie have returned to Earth-2, and Barry and Patty have broken up after Zoom's defeat.
Though he would deny it to the bitter end, Cisco was ultimately not a ladies' man. Unlike Oliver and Barry, who had babes fighting each other (literally, in some cases) to get a chance with them, Cisco struggled to balance one relationship. Heck, even when he finally did bag a hottie, she was robbed from him by some thousand year old Egyptian prince and his "connection which transcended the boundary between life and death". It was a complete load of garbage. In spite of that, he was an exemplary wing-man. Even when he was in elementary school, he expertly deduced who would hook up, and when, with near-psychic precision all without the assistance of superhuman abilities. As fate would have it, he was once again honor-bound to make use of his other meta-human powers to make Barry and Caitlin get together. Plus, it would help the atmosphere around the lab. With Zoom defeated, and no all-powerful meta-human to fight, Barry and Caitlin had spent the past several weeks moping about Patty moving and Jay returning to Earth-2, respectively, and Cisco had more than enough of their all-consuming angst. When Kendra ran off on a time-travelling spaceship with Prince PunchableFace of the Asshat Kingdom, did Cisco whine and complain? No. Like a true hero, he let it fester inside of him, only occasionally airing his feelings out anonymously on Tumblr. Even so, Cisco could not shoulder the collective drama of two people as emotionally volatile as Barry and Caitlin. His assumption was that, if they finally did get together, their constant awkward fumbling would preclude them from focusing on the scars of war. To see his goal to its end, though, he would have to, like any great scientist, get a bit unethical. He pulled a Harry and discretely researched the meta-human with the ability to alter chemical dosages. Unfortunately, it was a task not suited to his proclivities. The obvious solution was to enlist Caitlin, as she was generally skilled at this type of thing, but she would undoubtedly berate Cisco for his goal and methods despite everything being morally just, relatively speaking. After a few weeks of research, and indulging a latent nostalgia for his favorite television show from when he was a teenager, Captain Nova, Cisco had managed to engineer a plan none would escape. In Season 4, Episode 14 of Captain Nova, The Deception of Mister Spectre, Mister Spectre had disguised himself as a student at Nova High for obviously nefarious reasons which escaped Cisco's memory. To expose his duplicity,Captain Nova's best friend created a truth serum which was secretly placed in the punch bowl at Captain Nova's prom to force Spectre to reveal his disguise. The key factor was that, and Cisco recalled this vividly, two of the secondary characters who had a whole will-they-won't-they-but-they-totally-will-at-some-point thing going on confessed that they both had a massive crush for the other after unknowingly drinking the punch. Taking inspiration from his childhood hero, Cisco would adjust the brain chemistry of his subjects and, with the proper situation, let the two tear at each other like starved wolves. Who said television couldn't teach valuable lessons? Barry clearly buried his affection for Caitlin in his subconscious and Caitlin would sooner jump out a window than even consider admitting her feelings for Barry, so a little coffee would help them grease the wheels of love. But this coffee was no ordinary one. Caitlin's cup would make her far more bold and confident, not unlike a temporary shot of superpowers, and Barry's cup would help bring his emotions he kept suppressed to the forefront of his mind.
"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to stop moping and start loving life, because it's movie night." This plan was so ingenious that even Machiavelli would be impressed at Cisco's cunning. The two subjects of his experiments were less than enthusiastic, but that would soon change.
"Remind me, again, why we're doing this?" Caitlin's drab snark was even snarkier. Good. Adversity made victory more rewarding.
"Because we're here and we have to have a good time together. You guys are extremely special people, and it's time you two recognized it." In the time following the Particle Accelerator explosion, Cisco had converted one of STAR Labs' multifarious rooms into a movie center, complete with microwave, coffee maker, comfy chairs, (Cisco conveniently made sure there was only one for tonight) and a (recently acquired) couch. Cisco had called dibs on the lone chair, which relegated Barry and Caitlin, in a case of pure coincidence, to the couch.
"So what are we watching, again?" Despite his despondent tone of voice, at least Barry was willing to give movie night a shot.
"Tell Her You Love Her starring Johnny Cage and Casey Vorenberg," None of the participants of the experiment were fans of extremely cheesy romantic comedies, particularly those starring Johnny Cage, but Cisco understood the necessity of struggling through hardship and suffering for the sake of love. "Critic reviews were kinda terrible when it came out, but, with the benefit of hindsight, the global film community now looks at it with a more positive light." Even though only a portion of that sentence was fabricated, Barry and Caitlin were clearly less than assured by Cisco's extolling the falsified virtues of the feature.
"Do we have to? Can't we watch something a bit more, you know, distractingly simple?" Barry, perpetually stuck on Patty, lazily rested his head on his hand on his end of the couch.
"You gotta expand your palette and consider possibilities, man. Gotta think about things in a totally new light, not unlike this movie." Cisco's intricate knowledge of psychology told him that suggestion was indeed a powerful weapon in the war of manipulation. "You'll thank me when this is over, by the way. You'll say "Cisco, you were right. I don't know why I ever doubted you". That's what they all say, eventually. Plus, Casey Vorenberg won Best Supporting Actress the same year this came out."
"Did she win for this movie?" Caitlin had remained curiously silent up until that point. Presumably she objected to the idea of watching a romantic comedy because her ideal form of entertainment involved a library, hours of diligent research, and a low-fat, low-carb muffin before bed at nine PM, but perhaps her proximity to Barry forced her to suppress her distaste for the idea. She was kind of doing that thing where she sucked her lips into her mouth and her eyes were fixed directly in front of her. That couldn't work. Coffee would relieve that, ironically.
"Irrelevant." Ironically, he found making coffee to be the most difficult part of preparing for the mission. Luckily he had improved enough that he could work while also eavesdropping on Barry and Caitlin. As he worked his magic, Cisco mused on the peculiar fact that Barry and Caitlin needed brain-altering chemicals to finally see that they were perfect for each other, but, as Prince Asshat taught him, love cared little for such trivialities. He treated the operation with the greatest amount of delicacy, gently pouring the coffee and shifting the ingredients around, being careful to account for his hand trembling and rapidly proliferating fear that he would be detected by Barry or Caitlin. Mercifully, Barry was still absorbed about Patty and Caitlin remained too timid to begin a conversation with him in his present state. To prevent the night from falling to total disaster, he presented the two with their free, hand-delivered drinks like a dutiful servant of the heart.
"Coffee. And don't worry, they're both decaf." He made sure to raise his eyebrows and look in Caitlin's eyes as he said that. Barry and Caitlin exchanged worried glances as Cisco made jumped into his chair, grabbing the remote mid-flight.
"I imagine you're about as excited as I am." Barry, noticeably perturbed, started the conversation.
"Oh, this is my ideal Friday night. Coffee and low-quality movies picked out by Cisco."
"Thank goodness for my peripheral vision." Barry and Caitlin dove into their coffee, completely unaware of what would occur next.
About 10 minutes into the film, it became increasingly apparent to Cisco that his planning had paid off handsomely. Barry and Caitlin were totally absorbed with each other, allowing Cisco to excuse himself with a fake phone call. He had planted audio and video surveillance equipment for just such an occasion.
"So, they get the mask, but it turns out it wasn't the businessman, it was the professor. He was the villain all along," Over the course of several years, Caitlin became a peerlessly skilled actress. Certainly not in the traditional sense, being on camera or a stage terrified her, but even as a child she was an expert at concealing her emotions. Her operating principle was that if people knew how you felt, they could worm their way under your skin. That's when they could hurt you. Keeping people at a distance was an art, and she was a master like no other, but, regrettably, there were an extremely small collection of individuals who pierced the veil of her defenses. "I mean, it's such a coincidence. They fight a masked villain who's actually a trusted academic. Just like us."
"That, uh, sounds interesting," Barry flinched after Caitlin, unusually, gripped his arm as she excitedly discussed a film she quite enjoyed. "Sounds a lot better than this." He shifted his head towards the screen, hoping to move the conversation away from Eobard Thawne. Barry and Caitlin didn't have to be professional film critics to deduce that Cisco had made a poor choice for the night's viewing, though neither volunteered to turn off the television. Caitlin returned her gaze to the screen. This was the point in the film where the sharp-dressed, rich-and-well-to-do-but-also-affable businessman would first encounter the haughty secretary who would instantly reject his advances. Being a toothless, bottom-of-the-barrel romantic comedy, this meant the businessman would spend the next two hours relentlessly badgering the poor woman until she conceded that they were bound by destiny to unite despite the trials and tribulations which stood in the face of their love, namely the businessman being a complete tool. Barry's discomfort at the mention of Eobard Thawne was obvious. She hastily returned the topic of discussion to the magnum opus before them.
"Did Cisco give a particular justification for watching this drivel? I've always thought he was more of a mindless science fiction sort of viewer."
"He's probably pissed off at us for some reason and this is his form revenge. It seems more like a form of cruel and unusual punishment."
Though at first she tried to bury it in the part of the mind human beings rarely venture, the seeds of Caitlin's affection for Barry began to flourish early in their friendship despite the obvious logical objections. She was mourning the death of her fiance and it was clear that she didn't meet Barry's preferences. It was no great mystery that Iris, Linda, and Patty were all energetic, pretty, intelligent, and bold while she was a meek, gawky ice queen. She saw no benefit in pining after someone who looked at her platonically. In spite of her strict adherence to objectivity, Barry wormed, or, perhaps more appropriately, dashed, his way into her heart. As a scientist, Caitlin examined attraction the same way she looked at oxygen binding to hemoglobin in the blood stream, but even she begrudgingly conceded that Barry was the quintessential template of her "type". Of course, he was exceptionally handsome, with a perfectly symmetrical face, an infectiously powerful smile, and muscles in all the right places that made Caitlin's knees wobble, but her feelings went past the literal and proverbial surface. Sure, he was also kind, sweet, noble, witty, and perpetually optimistic despite every tragedy and setback, but there was more substance to him. She lived with an overriding weariness of other people that stuck to her like a disease, but she didn't have to conceal herself from Barry. There was no need to look over her shoulder or keep everything buried. He accepted her without objection or complaint. After a great deal of internalization, she allowed her affection for Barry to roam free in her mind. It was impossible to pin down the specific moment as to when that epiphany took place, but it brought a new type of anxiety into everyday activities, which, presently, no longer had control of her.
"Barry, can I..." Caitlin shifted her teeth to her bottom lip as she searched for the correct word. "Make an inquiry?" Even in her state of heightened confidence, Caitlin could not escape herself completely. Barry made a subtle shift away from her.
"Yeah. Sure. What's up?"
She reflexively looked down at her knees, but forced herself to face Barry. "I just wanted to ask you…if-"In favor of obliterating her chance, Caitlin made a small leap over to Barry and pressed her lips against his. After getting over the initial shock of what she had just done, she allowed herself to enjoy the sensation of being pressed up against Barry and her somersaulting stomach. This was a two-member operation, however, and it became readily apparent that Barry had been far more passive than Caitlin had hoped.
"No." Barry rejected her and a grenade went off in Caitlin's stomach. As was so often the case in these situations, she overstepped boundaries, and she found a surge of ice had overtaken her body. To mollify the situation, she would have to act quickly.
"Before you say anything, Barry," She slammed her eyes shut and held her hands up. "Please let me apologize. I've just had…certain feelings, and I, rather foolishly, acted on them without consideration for yours. I just thought that since Patty unceremoniously, and rather rudely, in my opinion, left and you looked so, you know…" She gestured with her hands in favor of speaking. "And I'm pretty sure Cisco put something in that coffee. It tasted funny and-"
Caitlin nearly jumped off the couch as Barry had taken her hands into his own. The two looked into each other's eyes for several seconds before Barry once again said: "No."
"Please, Barry, I'm sorry, if there is anyth-"
"No. Not that," Caitlin noted that she was typically the one tripping over her own words. She also noticed a dash of red danced across Barry's face as he searched for the right words. "I didn't mean to say no in reference to that. I meant no as if to say "no, don't stop."
"Oh," The elusive confidence returned. "Well, that's good to hear."
Barry rubbed his right arm with the other as he shifted his gaze away from Caitlin. Had Cisco done something similar to Barry's drink? She didn't know whether to berate or congratulate him. There was something rather adorable about a shy Barry Allen.
"So, uh, what do you wanna do? Do you want to keep on watching the movie?" He shuffled in his seat as he spoke to Caitlin. After some rumination, Caitlin reached a conclusion which she felt was both appropriate and personally enjoyable.
"Would you like to cuddle?"
Apparently, Caitlin's suggestion was indeed an optimal one. Barry immediately perked up despite whatever Cisco may have done to make him so unusually nervous.
"Yeah. Yeah, no, that sounds awesome. Should we keep on the movie?"
Caitlin considered his suggestion for a few moments. "Shall we mercilessly make comments about its blatant poor quality?"
Cisco had seen enough. He hastily turned off the computer screen to get himself a nice cup of coffee to reward himself. Plus, the amount of second-hand embarrassment watching Barry and Caitlin make nasty was most likely fatal. He could probably simulate the experience with a surprising amount of accuracy by allowing two excitable puppy dogs to lick each other's faces.