Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon!! It is Hongo-sensei's and Toei Animation's!
Hiya everyone! Eh, I'm really happy! This digimon fic is going really well! I hafta admit tho, after the huge popularity of my bleach fics, I was scared for a moment that my good ol' taioras might not be so well received, but man, I WAS SO WRONG!! Haha!
To former Bldlf… commander from hell, or whatever your new name is, thanks for reading and thanks for the continual support always!! Here is chapter 3! I apologize for the last rushed chappie! Read and review!
THREE: 'cause I was scared
Matt was the last one in the classroom after school, along with Tai. He was gathering the rest of his books and taking his time, seeming to have something troubling his mind.
Tai knew his best friend well and finally sat down on a desk and scratched the back of his head in a goofy Tai way, with a little sigh. "Okay, Matt. What's on your mind?"
Matt didn't reply for a moment and then told him, "I've been thinking that out of all the girls that I've ever dated, I've never felt seriously about any of them. I've had so many different girlfriends but I only ever date them for a short time and then I break up with them and move on… I've never really felt deeply about any of them."
And he was right. Matt was the young budding musician Yamato Ishida, always super popular and with lots of girls in love with him. He seemed to take it easy and simply date whoever fell victim to his charm.
Matt wearily placed down his school books on a desk with a thud. "Not everyone can stay as pure and innocent as you, Tai, chasing after the same girl for so many years."
Tai paused. His eyes flickered down to the sneakers on his feet, his legs swinging casually. "But I really loved her, Matt."
Matt sighed. "A real love like yours is troublesome, Tai."
Tai heard what he said and knew he was right. He couldn't help the nagging pain inside him, but he pushed it away and pasted a cheeky grin on his face. "Yeah? You starting to like someone seriously?? I can't believe it!"
Matt didn't even deny it. But he kept his cool composure and simply bowed his head towards the floor with a small smile. "…yeah. I guess maybe I've liked her for a while now."
"Why aren't you asking her out then? You've already broken up with your last girlfriend, Miss 102, or whatever. So what's wrong, Matt? Afraid of commitment?" Tai snickered, but good-naturedly.
"I can't ask her out." Bluntly. Seriously. He just said it like that, so simply.
"Why not?" Tai was confused.
"Because she's a friend." Matt said firmly, thoughts drifting off to a particular pink-haired girl named Mimi.
"…so?" Tai asked carefully, his voice growing a little distressed, knowing that Matt, the expert, knew all the so-called rules of love.
Matt lifted his head and turned and held Tai's gaze. His blue eyes were clear and firm, but with emotion behind his words. He took a breath and said determinedly, "Especially for someone like me who seems so scared of commitment, I know I'm always breaking someone's heart. I can't date her. Because I don't want to have to break up with her."
You don't have to break up with her! Tai thought. He was about to state it, when Matt continued, as though reading his thoughts.
"I can never hold a relationship for long." Matt said, turning his eyes downcast. "I don't want to break up with her. I'm scared of losing her friendship. If all I'm going to do is hurt her, a friend I really care about, I'd rather not go after her at all."
--
Tai watched Matt leave school with T.K beside him. He turned to his backpack and swung it over his shoulder, preparing to leave for home. Then he heard someone call his name and he recognized this voice, it was a voice he would never forget for as long as he lived.
"…Sora…" he murmured as he turned to face her. He couldn't help feeling and acting a bit awkward. After all, it had been a while since they had really talked as the best friends they were meant to be.
"…hey Tai," Sora said shyly, "Do you… wanna talk?"
--
They'd become so distant now, and it was all her fault. It had been a year or more ago when Sora realized that everything Tai had done for her was because he loved her, but she was scared.
Maybe she had had the suspicions for a lot longer than that, thinking that maybe Tai did all this for her. Maybe he was always there beside her, not just because she was his best friend, but because of her, because maybe she was precious to him. Maybe because he loved her.
But at first it was just a little suspicion, probably actually more like a wish or a dream. And then… later on… Sora finally realized. And she understood.
All along… everything Tai had ever done for her was 'cause he loved her and cared for her deeply. Why he was always beside her, why he was always there if she needed a shoulder to cry on, why he was there to cheer her on, why he was there to guide her and why he never gave up on her, no matter how she sometimes treated him badly when she was sad or angry. He would maybe leave her alone for a moment and then come back to ask her what was wrong. Then she would tell him all her troubles and Tai would listen, compassionate and caring. She'd sometimes cry and be so sorry for snapping at him or pushing him away before and Tai would always forgive her.
So… she realized it. So… she knew that he loved her. So… she knew that Tai was someone precious to her, so much more dear to her than just a best friend. But she, Sora, stupid, cowardly Sora!! She…never did anything about it!
She was so scared. So terrified of moving forward, of taking the step that Tai couldn't take. She couldn't find the courage to tell him that she knew… and then she felt the same. She was scared that it would threaten their friendship. She was scared of telling him. She was scared of how things might change. She thought that although it might hurt a bit right now, to love him while hiding it, it would be okay. How stupid of her.
Sora should've known!! Maybe it hurt her a bit, but think about how much Tai suffered!! She was stupid and cowardly and selfish and scared. And now she had lost her chance and he had moved on.
And the worst thing was, now, even though they were still meant to be best friends, their friendship had turned shallow and empty, with no feeling behind them. Because both of them were scared to mention it and both of them unable to comprehend what had happened and not sure what to do next to mend their once strong relationship.
But now, Sora knew it was her turn. She had to do something. At least… please… she pleaded with herself… make them close friends again… please…
--
Tai walked beside her for a moment, finding it unusual that his step seemed to fast for her. Before, he had been so used to always walking at her side and now, she was trying to keep up to his athletic strides.
He was apologetic for a moment. He still had his weakness for Sora. But Sora shrugged and laughed lightly as she ran forward a couple of steps to catch up to him.
"So how have you been Tai?" She asked casually. "I haven't talked to you in a while," she said, stating the obvious.
Tai stretched his long arms into the air. "I've been pretty good."
Her spirit dropped a bit. So you have been doing great now that you've given up on me… She hid the drop in her emotion and pushed on. "Yeah? Is your soccer team going well?"
"Yep." A simple, boring answer that didn't invite any further conversation.
Sora was panicking. Great. They'd been reduced to awkward attempts at carrying on a conversation. Luckily for her, Tai was still good old Tai, clueless and goofy but nice and trying as always.
"I guess things have changed a bit for both of us," he said lightly, "but it doesn't mean we need to avoid each other or anything…" he looked thoughtful. "You've been… avoiding me a little lately, haven't you, Sora?"
Sora tensed when he said her name. It didn't normally happen; it was just so strange to her now! She looked away from him. "Sorry…"
"Why?" His voice wasn't mean, just friendly and curious.
She had to be honest. "You've been so happy and carefree lately… ever since you became friends with that new girl… I guess I just didn't want to get in your way. I'm… glad that you're so cheerful lately," That wasn't all of it, but it was true what she had just said.
"Shiori's great." he answered.
They walked in silence for a moment. There was a question bugging Sora so she finally asked about it.
"Hey Tai?"
"Eh?"
She snuck a glance at her soccer player friend, tall and athletic, messy brown hair and friendly brown eyes and his goofy grin. "Um… you and Shiori seem… really close. Uh, just what is she to you really?" She muttered.
Her face started going red and she looked away, hoping that he wouldn't ask her why she wanted to know.
Tai's face had been carefree and good-natured before but now he froze and his eyes hardened. Sora stopped also, her eyes widening and her fists tightening in worry and scared anticipation.
Tai, who had stopped in front of her, didn't look back at her face. His own hands were clenched into fists and his eyes narrowed. Then, he walked off ahead of her and mumbled, "She's a friend… just a friend."
Although they were words meant for Shiori, Sora felt hurt. The words also seemed directed towards her, and she never realized just how painful those words could actually be. She glanced up to see Tai, her best friend, the guy she grew up with and loved, walking away from her, and not looking back.
A friend… just a friend.
Thankyou for reading!! I hope you liked it!! Yeah, I took a lot more effort and time to write this chappie!! I'm glad, because it turned out really well!! Next chappie, lotsa stuff will be happening and lots of you won't be too happy with the events! Review please!!