The Team of Gay Twin, Other Twin, Maid, Butler, EXP Sponge and Mr. Plot Device #4 are not-so-happily walking along a path, with Gay Twin leading the pack.
"Oh look, it's a canyon that we have to point out for more plot later." Kamui points at the pit that is below the bridge they walk on.
"It's supposedly bottomless…" Gunter comments. "It is said that anyone who falls down never return because they're too stupid to attempt magic or attempt to grab onto a climb back up the wall."
"Hey look, it's the fort" said Corrin. "There's lights on."
"YAY KILLING TIME" said Hans, who we forgot to introduce in the last chapter.
"Hans no pls"
"Yes pls" he said and killed a samurai.
"FFS Hans" said Corrin.
"YOU ARE VIOLATING THE RESTRAINING ORDER!" Screams one of the Hoshidan soldiers. "ATTAAAAAACK!"
Then the next battle starts.
"Alright so we can either send in EXP sponge to rid of the guards along the path that takes the long route but once he's done with weakening them, we can go in and take the kill and then we level up like 5 times each before we have to take the fort." Kamui offers a battle strategy. "OR we can use Dragon Magic Tiles to make a short cut then chip away from the EXP bags from behind then trot our way back to the fortress to take it." She then shifts her head to her twin. "What do you think we should do, brother?"
"Er, sorry, what." Corrin was too busy staring at his twin sister's tits. Fucking animu. "Oh, er, the first one. It doesn't matter since he's about to die anyway."
"HAHAHA DIE, DIE, DIE!" Hans was running around like a maniac killing everyone. By the time they'd finished talking he'd cleared a path.
"Orrrrr we could follow him."
"How the fuck did that happen? Isn't he supposed to die after like his second confrontation?" Kamui stares at Hans with utter confusion.
"Wait for it…" Jakob mutters.
"Three, two…" Felicia counts down.
Just then, Hans takes an arrow to the knee.
"I USED TO BE A MURDERER LIKE YOU, NOW I HAVE TAKEN AN ARROW TO THE KNEE! TIME TO FALL BACK!"
"Lillith would be proud of him, having the courage to use a dead meme…" Kamui says, almost shedding a tear.
Corrin strolls over to the fort. "G'day mate, I'm seizing this."
And like that he seized it.
"OK everyone, job fucked up, time to go home."
Just then arrived the reinforcements, led by a ninja girl with boobs that Corrin wanted to suck on like a baby, a ninja who was half-blind, and a furry.
"Alright," said the furry, who looked very edgy with a scar n shit. "Open the fort. Stop having it be closed."
"SHIT! Too many! Gotta run!"
And so they ran.
They ran so fast that they lost their babysitters, leaving just them, Gunter and Hans on the bridge.
"Hans why are you here?" Kamui asks.
"I'm here to fill up my plot role. DIEEEE DIEIEIDIEIIEIEIDIEIDIIEIDIEIDIEIIDI"
Hans swings his axe and sends the old man off of the bridge and into the bottomless pit.
"…Um, kay then?"
Hans gives the two a confused look.
"Kay? KAY?! I SENT YOUR-"
"He's a shitty unit. Does it look like we care?" Kamui gives Hans a rather blank look.
Sunddenly there was a large growl. "AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I'M DOING SOMETHING!" Corrin suddenly found himself metamorphasising into a dragon. Kamui did the same.
"Holy shit." Corrin said. Then he looked down. "Oh my god... that's like 2 foot long..."
"FOCUS BROTHER."
"Too late bye." Hans hit them both with his axe and they fell off the canyon.
"O SHIT MA HOMEBOIS I'LL TAKE YA BAK 2 BASE!"
As the twins fall, Lillith dives in to save them bc it's not like we can kill off our heroes before the path split.
"Sup m8s grab my ball if u wanna live ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )"
"HOW DO YOU EVEN PRONOUNCE A LENNY FACE?" Lilith seemed undeterred by Corrin's question and they did some weird shit and landed in another dimension.