I Just Want to be Different

I walked into the med bay and found Caitlin rummaging through some medical supplies. I didn't want to do this, but in a way I did. I just needed to know, again, if everything was normal. Deep down inside, I wanted everything to not be normal.

"Caitlin." I finally said.

She looked up from her bent position next to a shelf, "Oh, hey Jesse. What's up?"

Finding the courage to continue on, I stepped closer to the young doctor. "I- I know that you're going through a lot right now. I get why you don't want to talk about it, I'm not here to talk about your captivity. I promise."

"So the boys didn't send you in here?" She raised a questioning eyebrow.

"No! Barry left with Joe and Iris, Cisco is in his workshop, and I think my dad might be with him." I paused and looked down at my hands, they were shaking. "I would never, under normal circumstances, ask you to do this, but..."

Caitlin stood up fully and walked towards me, "Jesse, are you alright? Do you want me to get Harry?"

My eyes shot up and met her's, "No! Definitely not. Um, when my dad recreated the particle accelerator, Wally and I got hit with the dark matter. I was comatose until Barry came back with his speed and touched my hand. Lightening shot through us both-" I trailed off.

"And you wanted me to run some tests to see if you were a metahuman?" She gave me a sad smile.

"It's stupid, I know. I just- I want to be something more, someone more. And Dad had Henry run tests after I came out of it, but you have more experience with this sort of thing. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." I turned to leave, realizing that I could never be more than just Harrison Well's daughter.

"Jesse, I don't mind. I actually would like to have something to do." Caitlin stated.

I stopped in my tracks, "Really?" The hope slowly began to push its way into my heart again.

She laughed, "Yes! It'll give me a chance to actually get to know you!"

"Ok, so what first?" I asked as I walked closer to her.

"First, let's get you hooked up to a heart rate monitor and then we are going to take some blood." Caitlin had me sit on the sanitary bed and I pulled off my sweater. She clipped the heart rate monitor onto my index finger and then set to work on getting some blood samples.

I sat patiently on the bed, but in my head I was nervous. What if my dad caught me? What if I was a metahuman? "So, how are you doing?"

She was walking back towards the bed with a tray of needles and other objects in her hands, "I'm fine."

I nodded my head, not wanting to further push for answers. "That's good."

"Now, this is going to have a slight pinch." Caitlin found the vein in my arm and inserted the needle. It gave me a small pinching sensation, but nothing more. She took the vial that was filled with my blood over to her workstation. I couldn't see what she was doing, but I assumed she was examining its contents.

I was caught up in my thoughts and I had no idea Caitlin had come back. What if I wasn't a metahuman, what if something else was wrong with me? Thoughts like this swirled around in my head, making me feel dizzy and nauseated.

"Jesse!" The voice seemed far away, "Jesse!" It shouted again and again and I finally snapped out of my trance.

"Oh, sorry. What's up?" I shook my head and looked into Caitlin's eyes.

"I've been saying your name for the past five minutes. You ok?" Her eyebrows were scrunched together with worry.

I gave her a reassuring smile, "Yeah, I'm sorry. Go ahead."

Caitlin stared at me a little while longer before finally saying, "I was trying to tell you that I was going to place these tele leads on you. I want to closely monitor your heart rate for the next few minutes."

"Right!" I nodded my head and she placed the cool pads against bare skin. Silence enveloped the room as the cool pads were placed against my skin.

"How did you do it?" She whispered.

I was confused by what she meant, "I'm sorry?"

"How did you get through being held captive?" Caitlin asked, I was caught off guard and choked on air. "Sorry, I shouldn't have been so blunt. I just, well, you're the only other person who was taken by Jay. Of course, Barry was, but it's different. So how do you do it?"

My breath suddenly felt caught somewhere and I felt like my heart would beat out of my chest. The monitor went crazy as I tried to get my head back from the dark place it had gone to.

"Jesse, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cause you to panic. I shouldn't have asked." Her small hand laid on my shoulder in a friendly way, "Breathe, focus on my voice and just breathe."

I took a deep breath and managed to calm myself down. Finally, after what seemed like hours, my heart rate began to beat normally. "You have every right to ask me. I didn't mean to freak out like that. Obviously I'm not through it."

Caitlin shook her head and walked over to the monitors, "Everything looks normal. I'm really sorry, he had you for months. He only had me for a few days. I don't even know what he did to you and here I am breaking over what he did to me."

"Caitlin, you loved him and then you found out he was a monster. I'm pretty sure we both can say that we endured awful things because of Jay." I paused and she nodded her head, "I haven't talked about my time there to anyone really. Of course, Dad tries to get answers from me, but I know what telling him could do. I don't want to make him feel guilty. Stupid, he's my father, but he puts the weight of the world on his shoulders."

"You are his world." I looked up at her and Caitlin shrugged, "I feel so paranoid and I just, I feel like he's always right behind me."

I nodded my head, "I felt like that for a long time, sometimes I still do. When I was little, my mom used to help me get over my fears. She told me that I would only hold myself back in life if I let my fears control me. Every time I start to feel out of control or paranoid, I tell myself not to let this control my life. If I do, then Jay wins and we don't what that to happen." A smile formed it ways on my face.

She nodded her head and went back to reading the screen, "So, everything looks normal."

I sighed as Caitlin removed the blood pressure monitor; I began to take off the tele leads. "Snow." Came a gravelly voice I knew all too well.

Caitlin turned around at the mention of her name, she seemed a little panicked, "I didn't know you were here."

"What are you two doing?" Dad asked, arms crossed over his chest.

"Jesse asked me to run some tests to see if the particle accelerator ruptured a-" she looked at me and I shook my head, not wanting my dad to know why I was in here, "change."

Dad walked closer, looking at me intensely, "Why did you ask Dr. Snow to run tests again?"

There was no way out of this one, "Because I got hit by the dark matter, ok? That must have affected me some how."

He looked towards Caitlin and she walked further away, giving us privacy. "You're not a metahuman." I shrugged and he continued, "What you are is a young woman with a genius level IQ that we could use to fight off this next wave of metahumans."

I rolled my eyes and knew that I had been defeated, "Alright, fine."

"Fine." Dad smiled, but a little piece of me shattered. I just wanted to be different. I don't want to be forever known as the great Harrison Well's daughter or a super smart girl. I wanted to be something bigger than myself and now it could never happen. Somewhere inside of me, something died.

Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the delay in posting a new story! School has been consuming my life and on top of that I've gotten extremely sick! This isn't my favorite one, but I figured I'd post it anyways! I have quite a few more stories I'd like to add to this grouping! Also, if you haven't read my other story, Conquering Nightmares, you should definitely check it out!

*Disclaimer* some of the dialogue is directly from season 2 episode 23. I don't own any of the characters just the story.

Who's ready for season 3?!