Hi people I'm sorry I do not have any good excuses, just plain laziness and computer trouble. But here is the long await return of Dear Fanficion writers. Also Is anyone looking for Beta jjobs for lack of a better word. I changed my operating system to linux and it doesn't offer spell check so I'm hopelessly lost as you will probably notice but anyways on with the story!

So Now I would like to introduce the only the only

*Mystery Voice breaks in* The Devilishly handsome

Me: The one that broke out out of azkaban, evaded Aurors made Snape's life hell

It again: You know he desevred lt.

Me *glares* the one who met their end by drapery... SIRIUS BLACK!!!

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Let me start off by apologizing for anything I might say to offend you. I know you have fun with theese... ideas but for my sake can I NOT snog Sniviellus at ANY point? Thank you. On that note I have a few concerns about some of the absolute monstrosities you people call Fan-fictions.

Me/Remus: God Don't kill me. I know you guys only rival Harry/Hermione as far as most devote non-cannon shippers, but get over it. Not going to happen. Ever. He's one of my best friends and is head over heals for Nymphadora (Muwha Haha Dora will never know; )] Even if he won't admit it.

Me/Snape; Again he is third of my list of absolute , abhorrent, appalling, atrocious, awful, beastly, dangerous, desperate, dire, disastrous, disturbing,dreaded, dreadful, extreme, fearful, frightful, ghastly, gruesome, harrowing, hateful, hideous, horrendous, horrid, horrifying, inconvenient, loathsome, monstrous, obnoxious, odious, offensive, petrifying, poor, repulsive, revolting, rotten, serious, severe, shocking, unfortunate, unnerving, unpleasant, unwelcome, vile, bitchy, creepy, deplorable, detestable, disgusting, execrable, gross, hideous, horrible, invidious, lousy, nasty, nauseating, pesky, pestiferous, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, no good stinky people of all time, and you think we would work as a couple? You people sicken me and are barmy,daft and thick.

Blacksect with me: Honestly I think that all of those should have CRACK FIC in big letters every time it is mentioned. The entire family (minus Andy and Dora) is tied for #2 on my list of absolute , abhorrent, appalling, atrocious, awful, beastly, dangerous, desperate, dire, disastrous, disturbing,dreaded, dreadful, extreme, fearful, frightful, ghastly, gruesome, harrowing, hateful, hideous, horrendous, horrid, horrifying, inconvenient, loathsome, monstrous, obnoxious, odious, offensive, petrifying, poor, repulsive, revolting, rotten, serious, severe, shocking, unfortunate, unnerving, unpleasant, unwelcome, vile, bitchy, creepy, deplorable, detestable, disgusting, execrable, gross, hideous, horrible, invidious, lousy, nasty, nauseating, pesky, pestiferous, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, no good stinky people of all time. Merlin, Trixie and Cissy to name a few with, me? I need a barf bag and someone to obliviate me. Yes, its that bad.

Me/OC: This one isn't so bad, there are some really hot birds that end up with me but for the love of Merlin does the person have to be a Slytherin or a friends' Sis? Why You know how I feel about them...

Me/Hermione: Aside from the fact that she is my godSON's best friend she is old enough to be my daughter! (Which she is NOT by the way, Who made up that anyways? Did they have on to many drinks or something I mean really.)

Me/James: God aside from the fact he is... dead, He was in love with Lily and as was she. I what World do you people come from really...

Me/Lily: Same thing

People I am a bachelor and will probably die one too. Being a fugitive on the run does that to you. Now about some of the plot cliches. GET AN ORIGINAL IDEA OR TWO I swear most of the fanfictions are all the same. But I guess its because you really have nothing to go on, I'm only mentioned in context to harry. Also I WILL NEVER BE FRIENDLY WITH SNAPE!!! Deal with it.

If your wondering who is the top of my list of absolute , abhorrent, appalling, atrocious, awful, beastly, dangerous, desperate, dire, disastrous, disturbing,dreaded, dreadful, extreme, fearful, frightful, ghastly, gruesome, harrowing, hateful, hideous, horrendous, horrid, horrifying, inconvenient, loathsome, monstrous, obnoxious, odious, offensive, petrifying, poor, repulsive, revolting, rotten, serious, severe, shocking, unfortunate, unnerving, unpleasant, unwelcome, vile, bitchy, creepy, deplorable, detestable, disgusting, execrable, gross, hideous, horrible, invidious, lousy, nasty, nauseating, pesky, pestiferous, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, no good stinky people of all time(man I need to shorten that getting wrist aches just thinking about writing it again) , the answer is Dumbles. He is a no good B*st*rd and deserve to rot in hell. Just kidding the real answer Voldemort, Its his fault that James and Lily are dead, Harry grew up with abusive relatives (Damn Dursleys) Pettigrew went dark, ect..

So please take my opinion into account next time your write a ghastly story like the ones mentioned above.

Just Saying

Sirius Black

(Only person to break out of Azkaban and Handsomest person alive)

So what do you think? Hey should I do a one shot for Sirius' list? Just an idea. I think up next will be McGonagall, but not sure yet. So remember to review and shower me in glory! (just kidding. Sort of)

until next time.