Stray

by Fezzy

Tifa picks up a wounded stranger from the streets of Midgar, but little does she know this stray would have been best left alone... Gameverse with a little tweaking. Cloti-ish. Rated for language, violence and adult content

3. Past

AN: Hiya! Surprisingly enough, I'm not dead after all. So here is chapter three along with my apologies for taking so long. I know many of you were looking forward to the awkwardness of ' the morning after' but I hope this doesn't disappoint you entirely... Anyway, I'll shut up now. Thank you for the reviews and please keep on sending them!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter three: Past

Cloud wasn't there in the morning.

Without realizing, he had come to learn how to distinguish the almost imperceptive difference between night and daytime in the slums. It was a subtle change towards a more natural, softer hue in the artificial light that filtered through the blinds. It must have been the effect of day breaking above the plate, seeping through to this underworld. A few days ago, he wouldn't have been capable of noticing it.

It was time, he realized. He needed to get some answers, to find out whether or not there was a chance for him to get better. He owed it to himself to do something, to even try. And moreover – he owed it to Zack.

Maybe it wasn't over.

So he got up, slipped back into his shirt, careful not to make the tiniest noise. He lingered at the bedroom door but only for a second, long enough to steal an almost bashful peek at the girl still sleeping soundly. Suddenly he knew what he had to say, even if she couldn't hear him.

Goodbye.

xxx

There wasn't much Cloud could remember from his past. Tattered fragments of memories every now and then were all he could recall.

He lived with his mother in a small, quiet town covered in snow for a full half of the year and always shadowed by a tall mountain. It was called Nibelheim. Their house stood in the outskirts of the town, waiting at the end of a long lonely road without any neighbors nearby. Much like the house they lived in, they too were outcasts in a way. They had no relatives and no real friends living in town. In fact, the only kid in town Cloud didn't exactly hate was the pretty, brown haired girl who sometimes smiled at him but that was it. And anyway, she was way popular amongst all the other kids so he never dared to talk to her. In the end, it was always just the two of them. Just Cloud and his mother.

Cloud never had a dad. As he grew up, he eventually even stopped asking about him because every reminder made his mother look sad. He also stopped telling her how the other kids called him a bastard and other hurtful names. He tried his best to cover up when he did badly at school and got into fights because he had no other way of defending himself or releasing the frustration he felt for being picked on. He had a lot of anger inside him for such a small boy. He kept saying he didn't need a father or anyone else for that matter, but the truth was he might have been just lonely.

He did have one dream, though, a dream that kept the bleakness of his everyday life from getting to him. It was an impossibly big and downright childish dream, but it carried him through every detention, it made every cut and bruise he suffered worth it.

He wanted to make it into SOLDIER. There wasn't anything else he craved so badly, anything else he was so willing to fight for. Every night he would dream of getting out of this dead town where the years blended into one and where each person to pass him by was the same. He yearned to be like the men and women of SOLDIER, strong and good, traveling all around the world to help people and fight monsters. He wanted desperately for people to respect him, for little boys much like he himself was at that time to one day look up at him with shining eyes and say, "When I grow up I wanna be just like him!"

Cloud was absolutely certain he would succeed. He didn't even consider what he would do if his dream wouldn't come true. Part of his almost foolish confidence stemmed from his mother's unwavering support. At times she loved her son perhaps a little too much, choosing to back up his infeasible plans rather than provide him with necessary realism. Cloud grew up thinking he could attain anything if he wanted it enough.

When he became old enough he wasted no time applying for the ShinRa Military Academy in Midgar from where most of the future officers in ShinRa troops graduated and proceeded into active service under the company name. It was the best and the only way, really, for a small town boy like himself without a well-known family name and no fortune to be inherited to enter the SOLDIER program. Being accepted into the Academy meant two years of boarding school in Midgar, on a whole new continent without any hopes of visiting home during the short vacations, but Cloud didn't hesitate. It was understandable since he didn't have pretty much anything to hold him back.

Finally, in the summer of his fourteenth year, the letter of acceptance arrived and offered Cloud a one-way ticket out of Nibelheim. He would be enrolling into ShinRa Military Academy in the fall and it looked like his lifelong dream was becoming reality. About to turn fourteen years old, Cloud Strife left for the city of Midgar. He told his mother not to worry but he also told her he wouldn't call or write. He wanted her to know he had made it when his picture was in the newspapers all across the planet. He was still certain he was just a few years away from attaining his fate as a member of SOLDIER First Class - and for the first time in his life, he felt he had a purpose. He was happy and not just a scrawny, unpopular boy trying to get by in a place he didn't really fit in.

He arrived in Midgar after a long and tiring trip. Everything he saw was new and exciting and shiny. He had never been out of his hometown and the life, all the lights, noises and smells and sights of the great city mesmerized him. The city was moving and changing, buildings tall enough to reach the sky rising all around him. He thought he could feel the pavement tremble under his feet as the city breathed. He felt there was life in this place as if the city itself was a giant living thing. He thought he had been asleep for fourteen years and that he was now finally awake.

There was so much to see and experience, things he had never even thought possible. People here lived in a different world. Their lives were made comfortable and easy by new innovations provided by ShinRa, they lived in big houses and buildings and walked on streets paved with white stones. He couldn't help but compare everything around him to the somehow petty lives of the people in his hometown. He had to wonder who could be satisfied living that way when the whole world was open.

School started. His days were dominated by training exercises; building up his speed, strength and stamina, mastering basic self defense methods and combat skills. Normal ShinRa troop protocols and procedures were pounded in the heads of hundreds of young men hoping to make a career protecting the largest company in the world. This, however, wasn't the end of what the Academy was teaching them. They were educated in basic strategy, physics and math, social studies as well as world history – but most importantly, they were trained to see the world the way the company wanted them to.

For Cloud, so impressed by this new environment, swallowing the ShinRa propaganda that everyone living under the plate or somehow dissatisfied with the company's operations were simply second class as human beings, was simple. It wasn't a conscious decision, but then again he never paused to question the lies being fed to him, camouflaged as the truth about the world. He accepted without a single thought that 'privileged' or 'well off' meant 'better' or 'more deserving' than those less fortunate.

But it wasn't like everything changed in the span of a few nights. He still wasn't popular amongst his classmates and didn't make too many friends. He was much too silent and introverted and simply just so used to being alone that he didn't really know how to get along with others anymore. At first, the other boys made fun of him and his stiff country accent but soon learned that he wasn't afraid to show them with his fists what he thought of their comments, but gradually, things got better after people either left him alone or tried coming to terms with him, which mainly just meant not getting in his face. He was fine with it. After all, he wasn't there to make friends with the rich kids. He was there to become a part of SOLDIER.

But for that to happen, he first needed to get into the program. The trials for entering the SOLDIER program were held annually at ShinRa Headquarters. Students from the Academy automatically passed the first round of examinations and were delivered on there on the second or third day. From there on they had to rely on their own skill and talent. They underwent various physical and mental examinations, all especially and carefully planned to point out the necessary abilities needed for joining the extremely demanding and challenging program. SOLDIER was, after all, ShinRa's absolute elite force. Only the best of the best were good enough.

It was one week into the trials that something happened to Cloud. Something that would come to, even though he didn't know it yet, affect his life in ways he could never begin to imagine.

He had, so far, done very well in the tests. Most of the candidates had already been cut out and only those showing real promise and potential remained. It was also clear that the tests were only going to get harder and harder. From now on, it was the real deal.

All of the candidates still left stayed in the Headquarters for the whole duration of the examinations. They were provided food and rest in the actual premises of the ShinRa troops positioned in Midgar. Whatever free time they had between examinations they were advised to use wisely – which, most of the time, meant beating the life out of a punching bag in the training halls.

Cloud hadn't even heard the gym doors open when a hearty laugh entered his ears and broke his concentration.

"Sure wouldn't want to be that punching bag right now," said a voice as soon as the laughter had subsided, "you trying to kill it, kid?"

It was a boy no more than three or four years older than him with black, unruly hair, a friendly smile and the tell-tale gleam of Mako in his sky blue eyes. Cloud couldn't believe what he was seeing. Or who.

"Y-you're…" he stuttered, blinking frantically. The boy laughed once more.

"Zack, Zack Fair. SOLDIER, Second Class."

Cloud knew who he was. He had seen that very same, smiling face on the covers of news papers and magazines more and more for the past year. Zack Fair was the "rising star" of SOLDIER who had just made it into Second Class but everyone knew it was just a matter of time before he made it into First. There was also another reason as to why the media was so interested him – besides his young age - and even called him the "new face of SOLDIER". He had the talent, the looks and charisma – and when compared to the other SOLDIER members, usually rather stiff and reserved and not too eager to talk to reporters, he was truly a breath of fresh air. He was a cheerful, easy-going personality and yet it was clear he took his job very seriously. And, of course, he had that trademark smile which couldn't be anything but genuine. He was… an all around good guy.

And, in many ways, he represented everything that Cloud wished he could become. In short, Zack Fair was something of a role model to him.

That was why he had a hard time believing that the Zack Fair was standing before him. He had never been much of a talker, but now he was way too astonished to utter even a single syllable.

But Zack wasn't fazed.

"So," he started conversationally, "I take it you're here for the tryouts? Since I haven't seen you before and all."

Cloud nodded his head yes in an almost desperate manner.

Zack grinned as if Cloud had cracked a joke. "I see, I see! I had no idea it was that time of the year again! Well, that sure takes me back! I came here all the time when I was trying out for the program – but then again, nothing much to do around here anyways, ha ha ha…" he burst out laughing. Again.

Poor Cloud couldn't help but stare at Zack who had his hands on his waist and his head thrown back. He had the strangest feeling he had run into an idiot. Surely not.

Suddenly, Zack stopped laughing and slapped his hand on Cloud's shoulder.

"Hey, rookie, I just had the best idea!" he beamed at Cloud, his excitement well visible. "How about I try being your sparring partner? It'll give you a taste of what the final tests are going to be like. Besides, I could use the exercise! Well, what do you think?"

A weak "eh?" was all Cloud could muster before Zack slapped him on the back again, "Good! Then we're all set!"

Fifteen minutes later, Cloud was sprawled on the floor after getting his ass kicked. Every inch of his body ached but for some reason he felt like laughing.

"Not bad, kid!" Zack's smiling face appeared in his line of sight. The SOLDIER offered him his hand. He wasn't even out of breath.

Now back on his feet, Cloud shook his head his head meagerly but couldn't fight the urge to smile back, "Not bad…? I think you just wiped the floor with me."

Zack shook his head in response, "No way! I just didn't want to go easy on you. Wouldn't be fair, right? Anyway, I think you have a real shot at becoming one of us!"

Cloud was surprised, "Uh… thanks but… why?" Funny enough, he had never doubted himself, but now that someone else was supporting him he didn't know how to react.

Zack blinked, a thoughtful look coming across his face, "Why, huh? I don't really know why myself," he said, his eyes going over Cloud briefly and then he snapped his fingers.

"Yeah! That's it! You have a nice look in your eyes. I can't really describe it but… I guess I just believe in you." He smiled, and at that moment, something shifted inside Cloud.

Cloud tried to say something, thank him in his awkward way but then the hall's doors were flung open once again and Zack's name was called. The SOLDIER quickly gathered his things and flashed Cloud an apologetic look, "Oops! That's my cue. Sorry, I've got to run! Good luck!"

He started running quickly for the doors until, just as quickly, he came to a stop and turned around.

"Hey, kid!" he yelled at Cloud, "What's your name?"

"… Strife!" Cloud shouted back, "Cloud Strife!"

An impossibly wide grin appeared on Zack's face.

"All right! Do your best, Cloud Strife! I'll be rootin' for ya!"

The next day, Cloud was told he hadn't made it into the program.

xxx

He'd had his mind set on succeeding. He had decided he would make it so of course he was crushed about failing but he didn't really have another choice than to try again. He couldn't go home just like that. He never wanted to go back to that town if he didn't make it big first. So he tried again next year.

And the year after that, and the year after that until, before he knew it, he had graduated from the Academy and was serving in the troops as an infantryman.

He always made it to the final stages, he filled all the physical requirements; he was told, time after time, that he had what it took. But then he was cut out, always for the same reasons. He didn't have enough confidence or charisma. He wasn't fit to be a leader. The phrasing might have changed but the fact remained the same. He was frustrated beyond words. If it was something physical he could have always trained more, come back next year even stronger and faster, but he couldn't do anything when the problem was inside his head.

He knew he couldn't change. Not that much. But what else did he have? He had to keep trying, time after time even though every rejection shattered him to pieces all over again. He felt he had let his mother down. At times, he remembered Zack's words in that training hall and felt he wasn't worthy of being believed in. He was nothing but a failure. And yet he couldn't give up. No matter what. The only thing more pitiable than a sore loser was a loser who didn't know when to quit and move on.

Serving in the troops Cloud came to travel all around and meet all sorts of new people. It kept him going. He did his job well and he was trusted. Sometimes his squad was even led by a member of SOLDIER - and that was how he saw Zack Fair again, on another mission to the far ends of the planet. To his surprise, the SOLDIER still remembered him and was genuinely happy to see him again. And, as Cloud noted with mixed feelings of both relief and guilt, never asked about the SOLDIER trials. After that mission Cloud found himself, whether by request or mere accident, assigned to Zack's squad on more than one occasion. Not that he minded because, in one way or another, he, the silent brooder and pessimist, became close-knit with the cheerful, happy-go-lucky eternal optimist, Zack.

Now, Zack wasn't a faraway idol anymore as much as he was Cloud's first real friend and the closest thing he had to a brother. As enough time had passed, he finally felt brave enough to tell Zack about what had happened in the tryouts, but instead of the pity he was expecting, he received genuine encouragement. Spurred by Zack's support, determination replaced disappointment and he decided that next year it would finally be his time.

"Next year you'd better show them!" Zack cheered him on, "before I leave you behind!"

Cloud knew he was joking and yet he couldn't help but believe him. Zack was more popular than ever and his promotion to First was just a few technicalities away whereas Cloud became painfully conscious of the years going by, one after another, as well that he was still an infantryman. He knew he wasn't Zack, nor would he ever be, but how could he not think he was in a rush? Zack kept saying he had all the time in the world, but as Cloud very well aware, one did not become a SOLDIER in his mid-forties. They started young and burned bright all the way into an early retirement with a big fat check every month for time honorably served.

With that in mind, he started volunteering for even more demanding and dangerous missions. Free time became a foreign concept to him and he was busier than ever. He spent longer and longer periods of time away from Midgar, traveling to places he had never even heard of… until one very certain day.

It was nothing more than a mere routine mission, nothing special about it. ShinRa was building Mako Reactors all over the world, spreading wealth and abundance, but there were numerous reports of abnormal monster behavior around the construction sites. The reports kept piling up and eventually led to ShinRa deploying troops to investigate the matter. And now it was time to take control of the situation in a place where the reactor's construction had been completed a few years back.

Cloud really didn't want to go. He wished he wouldn't have to.

The town was called Nibelheim.

xxx

He didn't know it then, but his life was defined by coincidences. It wasn't fate's invisible hand that guided him, but chance. It had been that way since day of his birth and it would remain that way forever. And never before had chance demonstrated its power the way it did on that mission in Nibelheim.

As he looked at the snow covered town he had no choice but to suppress the immediate feeling of desperation and unease. He might as have just gone back in time. It was like looking at an old photograph; nothing had changed except for the silhouette of the reactor built up in the mountains. Upon his return Cloud realized, more clearly than ever, just how stuck this town was. It was a dead-end.

He hated everything about it. He watched with disgust how the people were deliriously content with their little, insignificant lives, happily unconscious of the world beyond this small, sleepy village. They loved their own oblivion and didn't even wish for more.

'That's why,´ he realized, ´that's why I could never fit in.´

And yet, though he considered himself different from all the people in Nibelheim, he hadn't changed that much either. He hadn't fulfilled his promise. The only things he had fulfilled were the townspeople's presumptions that no matter how much he tried he would never become anything. In their opinion, he had always been chasing the impossible. Nibelheim boys didn't move to big cities and become famous. Nibelheim boys married Nibelheim girls, started families and grew old in houses passed down from their own parents and, lastly, were buried in the Nibelheim town cemetery. It was foolish to think otherwise.

Unable to take their condescending sympathy Cloud hid his identity. It was even easier than what he had expected as Nibelheim people held very little interest in outsiders – and even less in those coming from Midgar whom they treated with masked contempt. It was a miracle they had allowed for the reactor to be built.

The closest he ever came to removing his helmet was when he saw his mother. He had never realized how small a woman she was. Weak and frail, nothing like the mother he remembered, hugging him so tight the day he left he thought he would suffocate. She was thin and pale and her hair, waves of warm gold, had lost their shine. The woman he saw now was only barely more than a ghost. It broke his heart, but he couldn't find the courage to stand in front of her. Not even now, after all those years.

Cloud was relieved when his squad finally left to inspect the reactor. Even being attacked by ferocious monsters seemed like a good option when compared to watching his mother's receding back, her shoulders pulled down by an almost visible load. No, anything was better than listening to the townspeople's remarks about her, their voices filled with pity that sounded false in his ears.

The monsters his squad came across were truly hideous beings, their eyes gleaming maliciously and panting breaths reeking of bloodlust. The road to the reactor was in a condition just as horrible as he had remembered it to be, at places so narrow and unkempt it was nothing more than an animal's trail coiling up the mountain. There was a reason why all the town's children had been forbidden from going up there. It was mostly due to Cloud's familiarity with the area that they managed to arrive safe and sound – save for a couple of monster bites and scratches here and here – to the reactor.

Cloud had never seen so close to one before. It was an ugly thing, rooted to the side of the mountain, somewhat resembling a giant parasite sucking the life out of its host. But it was reactors like these, harnessing the hidden energy source in the land that provided people with conveniences such as electricity and warmth. That was what he had been taught. He had no reason not to believe it. Having heard tales about the magical glow of Mako, he was curious to see what the reactor looked like from the inside.

What happened next was nothing more than an accident caused by a stupid slip of his feet. Maybe it was due to a temporary lack of caution, maybe he just wasn't watching where he was going, or maybe he was occupied with something else. Maybe he had something on his mind.

But no matter what the reason the result was still the same.

Cloud Strife tripped, lost his balance and fell into the reactor. His life as he had known it was coming to an end as he plunged into the eerily glowing abyss.

It wasn't fate. It was a coincidence.

When he woke up, there was a strange glow in his eyes. His whole body was strange. Not the way it had been before. His hands and legs didn't work the way he wanted them to. It was as if his nervous system was full of blockages. He was in a completely white, hospital-like room except that there were no windows. He had to keep blinking continuously. Everything seemed brighter than normal, colors were more vivid.

A man in a lab coat entered his room. Cloud recognized his face and remembered he was a big shot in ShinRa's Science and Research Department. Professor Hojo.

"Congratulations, young man," said the professor as he came closer.

"You are one of the very few people to have survived from Mako poisoning… which means you and I are going to spend a lot of time together," Hojo smiled then. It was a sight unpleasant enough to send unwanted chill down Cloud's spine.

The professor left soon after and a person who Cloud assumed was the nurse came in to check on him. She told him he had been very lucky since as the professor had said, not very many who had been exposed to such a large amount of Mako opened their eyes ever again or even lived. When Cloud asked where he was and when he would be released the nurse just said there were still a few tests that they needed to run.

And running tests was what they did. For a while, at least. On the third day he was allowed to get up but only if he didn't stress himself. He wondered why that was. He felt better than ever, now that the initial… well, whatever it had been had subsided. He was so full of energy he could hardly even sleep at night. He felt like he could go running for hours. In fact, if he didn't do anything, he'd get restless. Like there was an itch under his skin. Then the itch turned into irritation or moodiness or, worse even, recklessness. He became unnaturally impulsive. He'd always been the type to think things through, but now every idea that popped up in his head seemed like the best thing he'd ever come up with. And when he wasn't acting like a bear shot in the ass he was overly talkative, always joking and goofing around to the point of being an annoyance. But as time passed and he had been left there "for monitoring in case there was a change in his condition" for more than a month the jokes and pranks lessened and were replaced by bad moods, sudden flares of temper and even bouts of abrupt fury and violence. He wasn't so great anymore.

He began to feel like a prisoner. He had all this pressure inside him and no way of relieving it. He was allowed to leave his room but not the floor. The heavy doors at the each end of the corridor made up the borders of his whole world. His current universe, the hallway painted white from floor to ceiling was just like that of a hospital, but he couldn't help but doubt whether the staff, friendly doctors and nurses, were there to help him or not. When he asked if and when he would be discharged he always received the same, vague answers.

Security was tight. Every night the doors at the end of the corridor were bolted shut with impressive locks. Outside, there were armed guards. The feeling got stronger. It was no hospital. The people around him weren't doctors and nurses dedicated to making sure he got better. Because he wasn't. He couldn't sleep, and when he didn't sleep for a number of days he started hearing things and when he heard things he knew others didn't hear, he became too scared to fall asleep. The worst part was that he knew he was going crazy and that the people around him weren't there to help. He missed his mom and he missed Zack but he was alone.

After three months, Professor Hojo came back to see him. That day, Cloud was in his room, refusing to eat or get up, his body and mind weak after a long bout of insomnia. Men came in, dragged him on his feet and forced him to come with them. He was brought to a room with an examination table and then strapped down to the table. Hojo came in and approached him. He was handed a tray with several syringes on it. Instantly, Cloud knew something was wrong and started to resist, fighting and pulling on the restraints, but one of Hojo's assistants rolled up Cloud's sleeve and the professor injected him with his first shot of Mako. Cloud had never been as terrified of anything as he was that moment, helplessly watching as the needle pierced in his skin and emptied its contents straight into his vein. Then, Hojo took another syringe and infected him with something that put him straight to sleep.

He woke up. It was another white room. The walls were padded and there was a large window on the opposite wall. He couldn't see through the tinted glass. There was a terribly loud noise.

Thump, thump, thump, it went. With every thump he thought his head would explode. He was hot. Sweating. His blood was on fire. He had ants under his skin. Thump. Thump. Thump.

"Make it… stop…" he croaked, getting up. He could feel his leg muscles contract. But the noise wouldn't stop. It didn't even lessen when he put his hands on his ears. He finally realized it was his own heartbeat, beating so hard against his ribcage he feared for a moment it would burst. And it wasn't just his heart he could hear. He was conscious of everything going on in his body. His senses were heightened. He concentrated on blocking out the relentless beating of his heart, and that was when he heard muffled voices. There was no way he could've heard them before. Somebody, no, several somebodies were talking behind the black glass window.

They were watching him, observing him. Making notes of his behavior. Exchanging opinions.

Suddenly, Cloud was angry. He couldn't stand being in this small, strange room, caged like an animal. He attacked the window because he knew his captors were behind it. He pounded it with his fists, he threw himself against it, he screamed and cursed and threatened until he, just as suddenly as he had woken up, passed out.

He was, yet again, tied down to a table when he regained consciousness. He couldn't move. He noticed he was hooked to multiple machines, one of them spitting out paper with weird graphs on it. Every now and then the guard at the door let in an assistant to take away the graphs. Realizing quickly that talking to the guard was futile Cloud kept asking the assistant where he was and what they were doing to him but he never received any explanations. With his now abnormal hearing, he could hear people talking about him on the other side of the doors but the discussion was always filled with too many complicated medical terms for him to understand anything.

Hojo entered the room at some point, looking through a chart and not bothering to even glance at Cloud.

"I see you've calmed down. That's the downside of the injection. Makes the subjects so difficult to handle," the professor said finally and took a seat. Cloud glared at him, his pulse beginning to quicken. He knew this man was behind everything.

"What's happening to me?" he asked.

"There's really no point in me explaining it to you," Hojo replied, "it's not like a simple mind like yours could understand the greatness of my research. And that's fine. I've read your file. I know about all those failed attempts at entering SOLDIER. Sad, really. But don't worry. You've finally managed to become useful. If I were you, I wouldn't think too much about it."

Hearing that, something twisted in Cloud's gut, "What do you mean, 'useful'?"

"You're part of something bigger now. Bigger than that old, pitiable existence of yours. I suggest you forget about it. It'll be easier that way."

"…"

Cloud understood something then. He had been trying to deny it but it had been real all along. All his fears were coming true.

"… I'm not getting out, am I?"

It wasn't really a question any more.

Professor Hojo got up, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smirk.

"Clever boy."

In reality, Cloud had become a part of Hojo's secret research into Mako. It was secret because only a fraction of ShinRa's upper echelons were aware of such a research going on – and those who knew didn't really want to hear about the details. Despite realizing what horrendous means were used to produce them, they knew they would receive best results if they just granted the professor the funds and absolute sovereignty over his experiments. In short, Hojo could do whatever he wanted as long as no-one found out.

To label what Cloud was now as a 'test subject' was a bit of an overstatement. He was more like Hojo's guinea pig – although a very valued and carefully protected one at that. To survive Mako poisoning was so rare that Hojo couldn't afford to accidentally kill Cloud in one of his experiments.

Exactly what caused Cloud to be so resistant to Mako that he was able to live after being exposed to such large amounts of it wasn't clear. It was probably an extremely rare genetic mutation in his DNA. But Hojo wasn't too interested in that. He was just happy to have a test subject that could cope with bigger doses of Mako.

When in contact with a human being, Mako worked a lot like adrenaline. It increased the individual's performance; a quickened pulse, enhanced blood circulation, quicker reflexes and so forth. Long term effects were rapid growth of muscle mass, heightened senses and superhuman strength and stamina. Mako also had the ability to bring about changes in behavior such as recklessness and general lack of caution. But that was where the problems began. Mako had the power to push a person's performance well beyond the limits of his normal capacity, putting a huge strain on his organs and vital functions. As soon as the effects of Mako wore off the carrier was in danger of losing consciousness, heart attack, trouble breathing or worst, multiple organ failure. That was Mako poisoning. The body simply reached its limits and shut down. People suffering from the condition had no choice but to avoid stressful situations to the best of their abilities because, though the key factor in triggering Mako activation in the blood stream wasn't known it had been proved that secretion of adrenaline had something to do with the onset of episodes.

The portions of Mako SOLDIERs were injected with was much, much smaller and especially modified by Hojo to avoid the unwanted effects, but that meant SOLDIERs had to come in regularly for their shots since this milder, refined form of Mako actually dissipated from the carrier's system with time. That way they could attain the abnormal abilities Mako provided but didn't have to suffer the aftereffects.

Cloud's role in the grand scheme of things, however, was not so glorious no matter how precious a guinea pig he was.

When he was in a Mako induced state he had no problems with being Hojo's pet. Mako inflicted a high that was, in those conditions, the best way to survive. It took away all the emotions, leaving behind a cold machine capable of committing unspeakable acts of violence. He could rip people into pieces without blinking. Time didn't really matter to him anymore. His life was just a trial phase after another divided by periods of recuperation, allowing his body temporary rest.

It was the recuperation which turned out to be the hardest part; during these periods he came back to his senses only to realize his whole personality was being torn apart. It would have been better if he could have just forgotten his past, forgotten who he was – but in a way that was clean and quick, like a hit to the head resulting in amnesia instead of the slow process he was forced to go through as months turned into years. He started losing bigger and bigger parts of his memory. He was, slowly but surely, losing his whole identity. He developed varying symptoms; delusions and paranoia, depression, passiveness and bipolarity. It was the flashbacks of this time in his life that later haunted him in his sleep and sometimes set off the poison inside him, rendering him void of the last piece of humanity he had left.

He wasn't Cloud Strife anymore. He was gradually turning into a shell, quite aptly named as test subject number thirteen.

The unlucky number.

What he didn't know, though, was that he had stopped existing in the outside world as well. As far as ShinRa's official records went, he had been killed in action in a monster attack. All of his personal belongings were delivered to his mother along with the company's letter of condolences on his passing. Upon hearing the news of her son's death Cloud's mother became so ridden with grief that she, unable to bear the loss of her only child and family any longer, took her own life.

And so it would be that Cloud would be forgotten and all that would remain behind was the data Hojo had managed to gather in all the years he was kept in there. Or so it seemed, until an unpredicted and unexpected variable came along. A variable named Zack Fair. Once again, it was time for chance to display its tremendous might.

xxx

It was by sheer accident that Zack saw Cloud, the friend whose death he had already mourned and come to accept, hooked to a bunch of machines and passed out. He was out on a mission and in need of his regular Mako dose, but as the professor was out of Midgar he had to make a detour and come to Nibelheim where Hojo was working on… whatever it was, it had one fancy name and Zack was bad at remembering those.

In his opinion, it was just stupid that the injections had to be administered by the professor himself. It wasn't a job fit for a SOLDIER to run around the planet after some wacky scientist. But there was no helping it. Hojo was obsessively protective over his work.

Zack, having never visited Hojo's laboratories in Nibelheim before, found it extremely easy to get lost in the complex building. All the floors looked the same to him – as they did in every hospital-like building. Zack had never spent too much time in hospitals. He had always been a healthy boy. And now, after the Mako treatment, he was better than ever.

He had to stop and ask for the professor's whereabouts several times. Because he was a SOLDIER, people usually answered his questions and that was how he found himself in the lower floors of the building. He came to a door with a pair of burly armed guys guarding it. At first, they wouldn't let him through but when he told them who he was and what might happen if he didn't get his next shot soon enough the men sort of just gulped and opened the door.

Well, telling them he couldn't take responsibility for his actions if he didn't get the Mako soon enough was a bit of an exaggeration but hey, as long as it got him out of there a little faster… No harm done. In fact, he didn't mind doing anything that would let him go back to Midgar even a day earlier. No. Go back home, where she was waiting. The thought had him smiling all the way until his path was blocked by a group of people in lab coats going across the hallway. Curious, he let his gaze follow them as they unlocked a door and went in – and in the half second the door remained ajar he managed to catch a glimpse of spiky, blonde hair he had seen on only one person and a face he couldn't forget no matter how hard he tried to tell himself that accidents happened, people got killed and there was nothing he could do to change it. But there it was, that familiar face. Definitely subjected to change and different but somehow still the same. Zack didn't even bother to ask himself if he might have been mistaken. It was Cloud all right.

His thoughts were interrupted by Hojo who looked anything but pleased to see him there. He still gave Zack his Mako, maybe just to get rid of him. Zack didn't mind. He was too busy thinking and planning ahead.

That night, Zack broke back into the labs by himself. He was stopped a few times but he always managed to get away with it, again mostly due to his status as a member of SOLDIER. People rarely wanted to argue with them. It was that and his almost unnatural confidence that everything would go his way if he wanted it to which got him back on the floor where he'd seen Cloud. Still, he could only keep hoping they hadn't moved him somewhere else. Then he'd have no way of finding him.

Now, for the keys. It would have been quicker just to bust through the door but he wanted to avoid attracting attention as much as he could. He did feel a little bad, though, knocking down a short, nerdy looking guy in a lab coat and stealing his keys. He made sure the hallway was clear before entering Cloud's room.

He was relieved to see Cloud was sleeping, all of the weird tubes and sensors removed from him. Zack noticed immediately that he was bigger now, the shape of his muscles distinct even through the hospital gown he was wearing. He looked older. Well, it had been many years since they had last seen each other but Cloud looked well past his years. Even though he was sleeping, he seemed strained. Tired and worn out.

Nervous, Zack tried waking him up, coming closer and touching Cloud's shoulder carefully, "Cloud. Cloud, wake up. It's me, Zack."

Cloud's eyes, shining sharply with Mako, snapped open in that instant and he tried jerking away but he was tied to the bed. Through his enhanced vision Zack could see Cloud's muscles were mustering all their strength, the veins in his arms bulging. But his face remained emotionless, his eyes staring at Zack without the tiniest hint of a blink… and without recognizing him.

This was the point where Zack understood once and for all that something was very wrong here. For the first time he felt his resolve weaken and shudder as the basis for all he had believed in was slowly unraveling. Zack was often judged by people as naïve or clueless but he was neither. Actually, he was quite sharp – if he wasn't, he wouldn't have gotten into SOLDIER. He didn't know the details but then again, he didn't have to. It was by no mistake Cloud had been declared dead and it was no accident that he was here, now, tied to a bed in Hojo's lab. Zack could have demanded for answers if he didn't already know what was for certain: that Hojo was no doctor nor was he interested in healing people.

He then did something that would destroy his whole career so far, all of his chances of becoming a SOLDIER First Class as well as his future in the company. He did it without even blinking; not allowing himself a single selfish thought about how it was going to affect his life, not pausing to doubt for a second if it was wise or safe. Because it wasn't. It was stupid, dangerous and would cost him everything he had ever worked for. Yet, he did it anyway. Why?

Well, Zack Fair was a good man. That was all there was to it.

That night, Zack helped Cloud escape and ended his life in captivation as well as his own life as the rising star of SOLDIER.

It didn't take long for him to realize Cloud was a wreck and that what he had seen so far barely scratched the surface of the damage done. At first, Cloud was wary of him; jumpy, nervous and irritable and Zack had to stay awake twenty four hours a day just to keep an eye on him. Then there was a sudden switch, and Cloud stopped functioning. He didn't say a word no matter how many times Zack asked him what they had done to him or what was wrong.

That wasn't the least of Zack's problems. Though they had managed to get away from the immediate vicinity of the lab it was clear that they weren't out of the water just yet. Knowing Hojo, it wouldn't take him long to figure out what had happened and send out his men with a prescription of both Zack and Cloud and an order to seize them by all means necessary. Hojo couldn't afford his secrets to get out, not because he feared he couldn't explain away all the ethically questionable aspects of his research but because he didn't want his colleagues – or as he saw it, his competition – at the Science and Research Department steal his work.

If it was just Zack himself, avoiding the patrolling squads would have been a piece of cake but now he had Cloud with him who just seemed to get worse day by day. At times, he was aggressive and at times he became so passive it was impossible to draw any kind of reaction from him. Zack was becoming desperate, fearing that the boy he had known was gone forever – until one day, as he was forcefully feeding the immobile Cloud what he had managed to scrape together, another switch went off in the blond's head and a single world rolled off his tongue,

"Zack?"

That was the beginning. That was the sign telling there was still hope left for him. After that, Zack felt his resolve had been renewed. With a strength that couldn't be labeled as anything but stubbornness he was somehow able to keep them from getting caught and at the same time, coax out what was left of Cloud Strife's personality. Slowly but surely they set out on their long, long trip.

'Just you wait, Cloud,' thought Zack to himself, 'just wait 'til we get to Midgar and we'll fix you right up. Then I'm going after Hojo.'

Going to Midgar where ShinRa's headquarters were located sounded like a bad idea – unless where you wanted to go was directly under it, as in the Midgar slums. In many ways, they might have been the safest place to hide from ShinRa as the company regarded itself too dignified to deal with the lowlifes under the plate. The slums represented ShinRa's backyard which the company cared too little about to take care of and thus paid very little attention to it. Zack also knew he had comrades in SOLDIER whom he could always count on, even if he had been declared a deserter and a traitor by the company. What ShinRa didn't know, though, was that SOLDIER didn't work that way. The company might have been their employer but the unit's true loyalty lied somewhere else – in each other. There was no way ShinRa's elite force could have functioned if the men in SOLDIER couldn't place their trust in each other. They were often said to resemble a pack of tightly-knit wolves; the three men in First Class were the leaders, protecting and giving direction to all the lower-class members and earning their absolute trust and loyalty in return. The truth was that even if ShinRa were to fall, SOLDIER could – and would – still go on.

So if they just managed to make it into Midgar and slip a word to Zack's comrades they would be safe for sure. If they could just do that. But as it was, there were still a few twists and turns in store for them.

It took them well over two months to travel from Nibelheim to the coast, sail over the ocean and arrive in Junon. This was the crucial point in their journey; the city swarming with ShinRa troops – but also the place where you could board the train going straight to Midgar. Continuing the way they had up until now, by feet, would have been the safest choice but Zack was getting impatient. He was sick of it, sick of all of it; being forced to hide, the crappy food, not being able to trust anyone, not being able to have a good night's sleep… And what he hated most was not being able to contact his loved ones and tell them he wasn't a traitor hunted by the company as the newspapers and their headlines now described him.

So he decided to take a chance. What encouraged him further was the fact that Cloud was gradually getting better. He knew now who Zack was; he could keep up conversation and had stopped trying to run away all the time. Zack was positive he was making good progress. Cloud still wouldn't mention his time in the labs, though and eventually Zack stopped asking, just like he had stopped asking about the nightmares that seemed to plague Cloud. Those worried him the most. The dreams turned Cloud back into a stranger, irrational and violent, dangerous even. When he was like that, Zack was at a loss what to do about him. Well, all he could do was trust that, with enough time, Cloud would return to himself.

They came up with a risky plan. There wasn't enough time to somehow get their hands on fake ID's and ticket fees so they chose to disguise themselves, playing a role they knew very well – the role of members of ShinRa troops. Stealing a couple of uniforms wouldn't be too hard in a completely ShinRa-operated city. They just had to find a pair of guys with a build similar to their own.

The city had quieted down by nightfall and all they had to do was lure their targets into a back alley, knock them down and strip them of their uniforms. It was child's play, almost ridiculously easy. Too easy, in fact, as they would soon see.

Cloud was just putting on his helmet when a voice, filled with confusion, came from behind him,

"… Strife? Is that you?"

He turned around instinctively. He didn't recognize the face he was seeing. He only realized the man was wearing a uniform and that he wasn't alone.

"It… is you! What the hell? We were told you were dead – "

Then, Zack came out. The timing couldn't have been worse, the two now half-naked men lying on the ground and Zack Fair, wanted across the planet, his face plastered all over the newspapers patting away thr wrinkles on his freshly stolen uniform. The squad of men hesitated, reluctant to go against an old leader and role model but only until the weight of wearing the uniform and the responsibility that came with it began to bear down on them. They attacked, just as they had been ordered to with the objective of taking down Zack Fair and whoever he was with. Zack and Cloud had Mako, they could hold their own for a while but they couldn't help the fact that they were outnumbered and that they weren't in prime condition after running and hiding for so long.

Cloud was cornered but refused to yield. One of his opponents, having lost his weapon, picked up a steel pipe off the ground and took a sweep at Cloud's feet and then his chest, making him lose his balance just as someone else managed to grab his head and ram it against the wall behind Cloud. He blacked out for a second but when he opened eyes, his opponents were gone. Or rather, they had been forced to focus their attention on Zack. Cloud saw he wouldn't last much longer. He was on the ground, the men kicking and beating him all over. Cloud tried to get up, the fierce beat of his pulse droning in his ears, his blood now on fire with Mako when the sound of Zack's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Run, Cloud! It's an order!"

'…eh?'

"Run, Strife!"

'What…?'

"Run, now!"

'No, this is wrong – '

"Cloud! GO!"

He took the helmet, turned around and ran. He ran despite the pain in his knee, despite the constant dizziness and nausea caused by the injury on his head. Every ShinRa uniform he passed by made him panic shortly but he didn't stop. All he could hear were Zack's words, chasing him further, faster and faster until he arrived at the train station. Oblivious to all that surrounded him, he made his way to the first line of cars, simply busting the door to one of the cargo compartments. He couldn't use his leg anymore so he crawled behind the larger crates.

It was very dark and quiet. Something warm was dribbling down from his forehead but he didn't have the strength to remove his helmet. He was very, very tired now. Too tired to think even about Zack who was somewhere out there, captured and bound, ready to be delivered to… But he was too tired. Thoughts slipped away until there was nothing left. He closed his eyes.

Hours later, the train would arrive in Midgar and the unconscious Cloud would be discovered by a kind stranger.

It wasn't fate. It was a coincidence.