A/N: Hello, everyone! I'm back! Forgot to mention a hiatus because I didn't expect it. Stuff has gone down... a very long, cumbersome drain. I'm not going to school for a while. On March 13th, my stepdad passed away which forced my mother and I to relocate to a new city where I know no one and everything is too perfect. This town is like Pleasantville. It's eerie. I'm waiting for a zombie invasion. One plus is that I live 20 minutes walking distance from the nearest park which has a lovely creek/pond. I'm a happy Mayris.
Not only that... but I have a new bedroom in the house we're living in. Albeit I can't shut the door all the way and am always using books to brace the door closed, it's pretty decent. There isn't much room for my stuff yet as it is filled with a wall of books. Lots of books. An entire wall. And out of all of them I snagged a lovely treasure called "Stories from the Norseland". I'm a very big fan of Norse mythology. So... yeah...
On a more serious note, I've had to push this chapter out. Please let me know if I've butchered Kuja. I'm trying to remember how to play him without making him evil or killing him off. So... I'm going to do my best. Please flame me. I don't want this story to go to crap.
I wish you all a great summer! And I'll post the next chapter ASAP!
Thanks,
Mayris
My first breath was deep, painful, amazing, and agonizing. I exhaled in a slow sigh. A hand tightened around mine. At once, I recognized the feathery warm touch.
Kuja! I wanted to fling myself into his arms. The heaviness weighing my body refused to allow such movement. My mind screamed against this fact. He had to know I was awake. He deserved to know!
"Do you think it worked?" a stern-sounding woman asked.
What worked? I was awake if that's what she meant. Why wouldn't my mouth move to say so?
"Maybe you should try again." Another female voice. But this time kinder and softer. The sounds had a melodious tone filled with grace and respect.
"No," said the voice that could make my heart do somersaults. "Enough," he breathed. Cloth shuffled, followed by the scraping of a chair. Slowly, the warmth left my palm. "She won't wake up." He choked back tears.
Footsteps crossed the room. No! Come back! My thought flowed slowly, skimming against the tide of my fatigue. A door clicked open. I never heard it shut. The lone set of footsteps faded out of my hearing range.
I had to go. Had to chase after him. Run. These desires were anchored by my tired body. A strange weight rested beneath my diaphragm. It merely aided in my body's refusal to move.
I was a voodoo doll, pinned to a table; pricked in the chest over and over until my helpless sorrow overpowered my will to break free. And I knew I wasn't the only one who felt this way.
"Thou chainéd soul, find way to thy mortal dwelling," the stern woman chanted.
Warmth of energy washed over me, wrapping me in a coaxing embrace. The power dissolved my fatigue and pulled my mind from the tides. The world moved far too slow. I opened my eyes to see a woman clad in orange. She said in her melodious voice, "It worked!" Her joy was contagious.
I couldn't see shapes. Just color. The world was scattered in fuzzy masses. I sat up, rubbing my unfocused eyes.
No change. Without a word, I stood, walking on shaky legs, catching whatever I could grab onto. I was no longer in the garb I wore in death. A light nightgown flowed down to my knees, brushing against the back of my legs.
"Wait! Miss Terra! Please, don't push yourself!" The orange-clad woman placed a gentle arm around my shoulders, offering support.
Looking back to her, I said, "I must…" My voice cracked with a raspy finality.
"We can help you get to where you need to be!"
Shaking my head, I felt my way to the door. I could hear her footsteps trailing after me, but the other woman stopped her. "She'll be alright, Your Majesty. She's Vesper's daughter."
I could hear a reluctant sigh as I stepped into the hallway. Red and gold blinded my blurred sight. From the floor to the ceiling, the colors blended spectacularly in a beautiful pixilated array of wonder. I'd been blinded before in battle, but this was different. There was no darkness, just blur. A fascinating perspective. Whether or not it was a permanent change didn't matter. I would deal with it. I would deal with anything just to embrace him again. Even if the moment was transient.
My pace was far too slow. But I didn't know where I was or how to get anywhere. But… somehow… I knew. My feet walked forward, guiding me with ease.
Soon, I trusted my instincts to keep me balanced. Walking through a hallway and entering a large room, I stepped down a few stairs. A fountain trickled to my right. So I turned left.
Reaching the third floor by a steam-powered lift, I started on my journey. Ignoring every voice. Every question. Every person. Everything I passed didn't matter right now. Only Kujamattered.
Another two flights of spiral stairs and the cool, afternoon breeze caressed my face. Breathing deeply, I pressed on. One more row of stairs before I finally stopped at the threshold of a circular platform.
A lone figure stood upon the ledge. Arms spread like white wings, accentuated from his white, billowy shirt. Black trousers whipped in the wind around his leather boots. Feathery, silver hair danced over his back.
My vision cleared just for this image. The most beautiful sight I had ever seen. I witnessed an Angel. Not just an Angel of Death. But my Angel. My Angel of Life.
I climbed the ledge he stood on and buried my face into his back, holding him tightly around the waist. "Don't fly away yet. I still need you," I whispered.
My vision blurred again. This time with tears. I wouldn't let him go. Not alone. Never this way.
"You're… not a dream, are you?" His voice reverberated softly in the wind.
I shook my head. "I'm not a dream. I won't leave you."
He turned and pulled me into the warmest embrace I ever felt. Euphoria resounded until all other feelings drowned in its wake. No more sadness. Nor anger. Even hatred left without a trace.
Countless minutes rolled past. I refused to count them. They weren't real for this moment. Time would not take me from my greatest treasure. Even though I knew neither of us would go anywhere, I wouldn't chance interference.
We sat on the ledge now. My cheek rested on his shoulder. He kept an arm about my waist, clutching me close to him. "You owe me," he smirked.
"Really?" I looked to him with a raised eyebrow, coating my voice with sarcasm. "What makes you say that?"
"You left me waiting three days for you to wake up."
"Yeah? I waited two years for you to return," I challenged. "Plus, I had to save you from death."
"Did I not return that favor?" He smiled.
"Guess so."
His gaze softened and his hand carefully stroked my cheek. Drawing my chin up, he lightly pressed his lips to mine in a shaky kiss. The connection was stronger than the night back in Treno. A calm, but electric sensation that left my nerves tingling. It made me forget everything that surrounded us in a wave of comfortable distortion. With his arms around me and our connection completed in a simple kiss, I could briefly forget the world.
My lips parted for a moment and the kiss deepened. Despite knowing that my face probably resembled a ruby by now, I didn't dare break our connection. This was better than words. Words came too easily. Overused and sodden by lustful minds. This was real. And I didn't want it to end.
Though he never uttered a word, much less couldn't, the soft brush of his hand to push back a strand of my hair was enough for me to understand his feelings too. Simple and chaste moments within this intimate moment overshadowed what humanity had proclaimed as lust.
When we parted, I instinctively bowed my head, averting my gaze as I had done over and again in his presence. On cue, his hand raised my chin and he smiled pleadingly to me. "I want to finally gaze at your eyes without their protective shield." He referred to the changed color. Originally, my eyes were brown. It was the first time he could see them without the protection my mother had given.
"But—"
He moved his thumb over my lips, brushing over them and gifting them with a brief kiss. Our eyes met again and I tried to avoid the captivating glow of his irises; though now I knew mine had the same, distinct hue.
"The color doesn't change a thing. You've always been ideally what I've wanted. Even more so here." He pointed to my heart. "I'm actually curious as to how much you've changed in the past few years. Won't you tell me of your epic?"
"Epic? You mean nightmare." I chuckled.
"Any journey with you in it must be a wonderful dream."
"Only if you're there with me." I played with one of his hands. Slender and soft, but strong; they easily encompassed mine. His touch gave me a sense of protection, but his presence kept my heart pounding.
As I was about to tell him of my epic, he suddenly clutched my shoulders and stared hard at me. His eyes glinted with unshed tears. Pulling me into a tight embrace, he whispered, "I was ready to die before you came here. I couldn't stand seeing you like that. It seemed unfair I was living and you reduced to a coma. Not fair at all." He shook his head slowly.
Returning the embrace, I nuzzled into his neck, welcoming his comfort. After a moment, I started humming, running my fingers up and down his back, recalling the melody from so many years ago. The same song I'd heard during my attempts to revive him.
The smooth silk of his hair felt like cold water against my fingers. I could hear him breathe as he leveled a kiss to my cheek. Smiling, I squeezed him tight in the embrace. "Don't… run away from me again…"
He shook his head, placing a hand on my back. "No. I won't run again. Only if you promise not to go anywhere either."
"Of course… not without you," I grinned.
Pieces of the time we spent together before our separation years ago floated through my thoughts. The small moments of realization and comfort; the times when I felt I was complete in the simple motion of words or illustrations of actions. They all recollected in my thoughts. I smiled, holding him closer.
The warnings of my memories being manipulated crossed my mind. But none of that seemed to affect what I felt then. I remembered clearly those feelings I nourished and planted in his mind. I knew those moments were real and nothing would take them from me. Each detail of this man remained engraved in my mind. For now, I would not spoil this moment with the tale of my venture. Little exchanges were spoken between us; mostly sweet nothings of longing shared by one another during separation.
Time was lost to us. Awareness slipped from the moment and all I wanted to do was hold him and breathe; know I was living and not dreaming.
A toll sounded from the square; the second one, I think. Closing my eyes, I sighed. "We should go back inside…"
He pulled away to look me in the eyes. "I suppose you're right. Both of us are a little worse for ware."
We stood. My knees buckled beneath me. I hadn't realized until now how hard it was to stand on my own in such a state. He stopped my fall, gripping my shoulders carefully with one arm and holding onto my side with the other.
"Can't even walk on your own," he teased. "How'd you make it up here by yourself? Much less know where to find me?"
I couldn't explain that. But it seemed like the answer didn't matter as he started helping me down the stairs, keeping in stride as best he could. I noticed, for the first time ever, that he was stumbling just a little.
"Speaking of walking, look at who's having trouble…" I jibed. In response, he chuckled and pulled me closer.
We walked back through the hall, mostly catching up on the past few days' events. Not much had transpired since I had been knocked out cold. One thing that surprised me was the fact that both Nadya and Kraizule were here. I was eager to see them again.
After returning to our own respective rooms, I was met by the stern woman I woke up to. I thought she was about to admonish me, but her gaze softened. She was probably worried. Sighing, she shrugged. "Between you and the queen, I don't know who's worse."
"Queen Garnet?" I inquired. That was the only current queen I knew of that would be near Lindblum at this time. There hadn't been much word on Burmecia or Cleyra. At least I hadn't heard anything.
"Yes. Queen Garnet is just the same. Impulsive… But what could we do… you wouldn't listen. So we couldn't very well stop you."
"She was here?" My jaw dropped.
"Yes. Regent Cid called her away a few minutes ago. I waited here to see if you would return. And alas, you have. It's surprising. Most of her friends tend to run off and not return to where they should be." She pointed to the cot. "You're still tired. Why don't you rest?"
Tilting my head to the side, I cocked an eyebrow. "Why? I've been resting for two days."
"Two days without proper care to yourself. We had to use magic to keep you alive. After you eat something, you should rest to allow your body to reconfigure itself back to normal."
Disgruntled and huffy, I stomped to the cot. Yes, mother, I thought. It wasn't as bad as death though. I didn't have to worry about mother fretting like I was diseased. Besides, I knew this woman meant well and wasn't blaming herself if something seemed wrong with me. I turned only to see her smirking. I laughed.
It'd been an interesting day. Maybe a little laughter is what I needed now. I was home. And this time Kuja was too. What else could be better? Nothing. Not a damn thing. I was contented with this. But I wondered how long this would last. Blast, I would suck the life out of these happy moments just so I could remember them and feed off their nourishment in times when I was brought to my knees in sorrow. Isn't that why they existed? To remind us that there are times where happiness means the most? I'd been told that over and again in stories I'd read through the years. Now I felt even more open to it; connected even. It was a wonderful connection; wonderful and painful. But something I would never give up through all the terrible things I had seen. Not a chance.
After a meal and some much needed rest to rid of the fogginess of first waking up, I awoke to fingers running through my hair. And then was greeted with a kiss. Soft and gentle. Perfect. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. Kuja pulled me into a hug. "Have a nice sleep?"
"Felt like I just touched the pillow… but I feel better," I muttered against his shoulder.
He chuckled. "You should rest longer…"
"But I don't want to…" I hugged him tightly. "How long have you been here?"
"I think your question should be revised to, 'how long was I asleep?' Because I walked in about four hours ago."
"Four hours? Are you serious?"
He motioned to the window. It was well past noon. Evening prepared to set in. The city bustle thickened. For the first time since waking up in Lindblum, I was able to admire the reconstruction effort since the cybertorrents arrived. There was no trace that the event ever happened. All but a mere shell of one remained in the square where it had 'died': a trophy of the cybertorrent downfall. It was amazing how citizens preserved the memories of past hardships. I treasured this.
Catching my smile, Kuja raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"
"Just the statue down there… That's from Esthar. I was here when they attacked Lindblum. And… I was responsible for the reason…" I added sadly. People had died that day… because they were searching for me. The result of a traitor. Was it wrong to desire happiness? Sometimes these occurrences made me question this.
Whenever I wanted something, life seemed to drag me in the opposite direction. The mundane things everyone else went through were pulled out of reach. I watched from a distance. Those once in a lifetime chances… I had to miss out on. But when I think about it now, it doesn't hurt so much because my calling at that time was greater than that of those around me who were given that moment to obtain that normalcy. Not everyone could say they fought against this and lived. Or they had a hand in preventing a catastrophe the world would never know. Even if it didn't seem that big at the time, maybe it could have meant everything to the future. It was best that the outcome was never discovered. If the chance to discover came up, then I can happily say that it doesn't matter. That timeline doesn't exist anymore. It rests in line with all the other events that followed. And maybe I am separated from those around me, but personally, I am comforted by my change. The world doesn't need to know of the greatness of this calling. It isn't for them. Instead, it's just repeating my name into the waves of frequencies my heart can follow. And why should anyone know? What would they gain from it? Would they reward me? I don't think I'd like that. The idea seemed silly.
My thoughts made me smile. Content felt wonderful. A hand ran under my chin and Kuja pulled me into another kiss. Still a bit flustered after all this time, I shakily kissed back, holding him tightly. He was mine now. After as many death experiences I had, it was still unbelievable.
A chuckle shook against my lips and I pulled away to look up at him. "What is it?" I asked, drawing in a deep breath.
"You're still shy~" he teased, tapping my nose with his finger. "I would think after this many years you would have grown out of that."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I looked to him with a quirked eyebrow, taunting the truth out of him with a little defiance.
The grin on his face widened. "Your shyness is adorable…"
I raised my eyebrow higher. "Shyness? I'm not at all shy." For emphasis on my point, I crossed my arms.
He pulled me close until I could feel his breath graze the surface of my ear. The sudden warmth of his tongue flicking over my skin caused me to shudder. I hadn't the slightest how many shades of red my face deepened to. Dragging his lips over my cheek, he looked to me with a smirk. His thumb brushed the blush on my other cheek. "Shy~" he grinned.
"I-I am not…"
He pulled away and gave me a serious face. "Is it your goal in life to defy every word I say?"
"Only if you say it with the purpose to make me flustered," I answered.
Insidious was the look he gave me. Though not at all with the intent to harm. More like… reciprocate my challenge.
"Regent Cid has called a meeting tonight," he said suddenly.
"Why?"
"He didn't say…"
Drawing in a deep breath, I looked down. "How long do we have before the meeting?"
"About an hour."
"Joy…" I leaned back, popping my back in place.
A loud crack caught Kuja's attention. "Umm… ow?"
"No, no… that felt good."
He frowned. "Sounded terrible."
Looking over to him with a smirk, I said, "Yeah? Lie down."
With only a brief, playful glance, he lay on his back. I rolled him onto his stomach before climbing atop his back. My thoughts started to wander as I sat on his lower back. I pulled them away quickly, not wanting to think about how nice it felt to have him under me… Too late.
I shook my head, dispersing any naughty thoughts that threatened to take over my focus. Balling my fists, I lined my hands up on either side of his spine, palms facing one another. I started up at the shoulders. "Just breathe out," I said. Once he exhaled, I leaned my strength and weight into my fists momentarily and heard a resounding crack. He grunted and I couldn't help but smile. "Feel better?"
"A little…" he muttered.
"Never had your back popped into place before?" I started lining up my fists just below the first place. He shook his head. "Breathe out." And he did. I continued all the way down his back. I lost count of how many cracks I heard. He must have felt terrible. Although, I wasn't at my best. It was hard to get the upper back popped into place without using a doorframe or something. And I wasn't about to go around the castle using random doorframes to get my back to pop into place. I think I would laugh too hard in explanation. It truly sounded ridiculous when I played that event out in my mind.
He lay there contentedly. I wondered if I squeezed the life out of him. Kneeling over him, I tried to see if he was still conscious. "Kuja…?"
When I met his eye level, he turned and grabbed me. Seconds later, I was lying on my back, staring up at him. "Ack!" I winced. He had me pinned already. My heart was already accelerating.
"I can move now…" he observed, stretching his back out a little before inching closer to me.
"Y-yeah… that's why I did that…" I was finding it hard to articulate my sentences.
Lowering to my neck, he nuzzled it and then sat me up. "Come on, now… you should see the others: let them know that you're alright."
"A-alright…" I nodded, still dazed.
We left the room together and parted in the hallway. A blond-haired man with a tail pulled Kuja aside, having something urgent to discuss. Kuja smiled to me before leaving with him, letting me know he'd meet with me again later.
This left me with a lot of free time on my hands. What to do? I wasn't exactly eager to face anyone on my own right now… but that's something I'd eventually have to do anyway.
I started down the hall and turned the corner. Guards stood at strategic posts along the walls. Lindblum Castle seemed bigger than I remembered it. Then again, I didn't get to explore the entirety the first time I was here. Perhaps the attack had left me too alarmed back then that I didn't take in the artistic detail as much as I did now. Though I knew so little about interior design, I thoroughly enjoyed this place. And it was easier to find my way around as opposed to Esthar.
Reaching the airship hangar, I watched the productivity of each intricately designed ship. Several crafts were lined up below the narrow walkway suspended above the ground floor.
Engineers were repairing a large airship. The first layer of metal had been torn and shredded at the front all the way down to the middle, leaving scratches all the way down to the back. I stared in awe, wondering what could have done such great damage.
"It hasn't even been a day and you're already on your feet again."
As I looked around for who spoke, I noted the traveler's coat draped around Kraizule's shoulders. I smirked and walked over. "Glad to see you're alive."
He shrugged, making an effort not to show that he was amused. Though it was very obvious he was. "I've already escaped death once."
His façade made me laugh. Without warning, I hugged him. "I'm glad you're alright… I had no idea what to think after we confronted Chandersin. No idea… I thought my life was over. And, I guess in a way, it was. I feared what had become of you." My grip tightened around him and I felt him recluse just a little.
Very lightly, he patted my back. "Yeah…" he breathed. "Close call."
After a moment longer, I pulled away and smiled up to him. I wondered how he was feeling. My relief turned to sorrow when I imagined how he must feel now that his beloved was no more. There was much I wanted to know. Things I wanted to ask but had to stifle for courtesy's sake.
"Umm…" I started.
"Don't," he interjected, putting his hand up to stop me. When I gave him a confused look, he sighed. "Let's not talk about it… After all, I still have some bitterness left. We only teamed up for that one time. Simply to take back the control that was stolen. I'm not about to be overly forgiving toward you…"
My expression soured. "Fine." So he wanted to be on good terms but not put forth the effort to do so. And also hold a grudge at the same time. This had to be the most complex guy I'd ever met. Before I made the comment about him being feminine about his 'feelings', I walked on.
A pointy hat stuck out from behind a fortress of crates that held ship parts. Glancing over the barrier, I noted a single black mage at work. "Hey," I waved.
At once the mage looked up. Bright yellow eyes widened and the little guy jumped to his feet, running over. "Terra!'
I blinked. And then ran around the wall to meet him, catching the mage in a tight hug. "Fenn!"
He hugged back just as tight. "You're finally awake! I knew you would be alright!"
It had been ages since I had seen the little guy. He might be the one to overturn the latest sour event with Kraizule. There wasn't anything bad I could say about this little guy.
We caught up with one another's lives. Apparently, he'd been working in Lindblum Castle for the last few months. The Regent had started experimentation on alchemy. He was currently researching a world called Inferiad: a place where the eidolons lived. This worried me. Was it the same place I had spent before waking up here? The thought alarmed me. That world was death, wasn't it? The other side? Mother and father were there. Unless it was all some terrible nightmare.
Though his depiction of that world was staggeringly close to where I had been. Eventually, I had to cut the conversation short because of the trauma I wanted to forget. Fear made me feel weak.
He went back to the models he had been crafting as I left. There was little more I could do here, so I left back to the first floor of the castle. I eventually wandered back to the room I had been given. Voices streamed into the hallway from within. I waited in the hall, listening carefully.
"Well I would run off too if I knew you were here AND waiting to give me a lecture. Anyone in their right mind wouldn't stay just to be chewed out about something they're not responsible for. And I'm getting tired of your attitude. Ever since we left for Esthar, you've been acting like a child. I can't tell if you're worried or just pissed off."
Peeking around the doorframe, Deryo and Ember came into view. Ember was standing very stiff while looking out the window while Deryo yelled at him from behind. He held his hands behind his back and appeared to struggle between turning to Deryo and punching him in the face and keeping his adult composure. It was strange to see such a struggle in a normally stoic person's disposition.
"If it wasn't for her stupidity in starting her journey of 'finding herself' then she wouldn't have caused us to risk everything to bring her back."
"What's wrong with you? That wasn't your attitude when you first heard about the fact that she's been found. You were cross, yes. But you still had that flicker of hope."
Ember turned, eyes narrowed. He drew close to Deryo, towering over him. "Her Majesty speaks too much…" he growled, grabbing Deryo's shoulder and moving past him. By the way Deryo's face scrunched up, I could tell the touch wasn't pleasant.
He walked to the other wall, staring out another window.
Deryo threw his hands up in the air and followed him. The monk was becoming flippant. Monk…? Wait a minute… Deryo went into monkhood? Did that mean he practiced celibacy? Deryo…? Was that… possible?
"Listen, Ember."
He waited.
"Why don't you let it go for now? She just woke up. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't want to be admonished all of a sudden over mistakes I'd recognize. She's probably kicking herself for them now. That's typically how it goes with logical thinkers. They recognize what they did was stupid and they kick themselves."
"That's just it," Ember grinned evilly. "Terra isn't logical. She's impulsive. Over-reactive. Stubborn. Clumsy. Etcetera."
I glowered. Yeah, I was all of those, but he didn't have to be that tactless. I recalled being pretty logical in most cases, so why was he being so abrasive? As I let his words stew in my mind, my fists clenched. I wasn't perfect, but at least I tried. I wasn't afraid to take risks. He always became uneasy every time I deviated one inch from a set path. I was tired of meeting his expectations. What did he have to show for what he expected of me? Sure he was older and took care of all of us the best he could, but he wasn't perfect enough to surpass what he set. Besides, I am of age now. Why should it matter if I don't do exactly as he says?
"You're sounding like a brat again," Deryo sighed. "I know you still feel guilty. But you must realize that what's done is done. You can't change the past. Stop projecting yourself onto Terra. Stop trying to mold a legacy. It's Not Happening. She won't avenge the past you."
As I heard all this, weight filled my chest and drew an anchor to my eyes, pulling tears down my cheeks. A legacy? Was that all I was to Ember? Just some kind of living proof that he existed? My knees weakened beneath me from the weight. Backing away, I started down the hall at a run.
Why did my brothers have to argue about what I wanted? They didn't know anything. Neither of them had any idea. No idea at all! I wanted to run up to Ember and shake him violently. It was becoming painful to keep it all in.
No sooner had I fled the scene when I was in Kuja's hold. His arms were wrapped tightly around me. Hands caressed my back and hair and his gentle voice coaxing me to calm. In that moment, I let go of my frustration, pride and sorrow. My hands clenched his shirt and my face remained buried in his shoulder.
After he pried the reason of distress from me, he sighed. "Since when do you let what one person says get to you? That's not like you at all."
I shook my head. There were more details to the situation. Things I neglected to tell even Kuja. I kept these secrets to myself. Trust still remained an important value I constantly sought. Even now; with Kuja. This fact made me selfish, but to the point where it was meant to protect me. I'd learned by now to sacrifice love for safety and this made me stupid and doubtful. I didn't want to feel doubt when around him. Instead I wanted to hold my arms tightly around him and know that there was nothing that would separate us. This internal struggle to love fully and give up my pride constantly ate at my intent.
His attention was drawn away for a moment. I felt him tense and looked over. He relaxed seconds later when Vincent came into view.
Looking between us, Vincent smirked. "Nice to see you're both on your feet again."
"But I've been awake the last two days."
"Sulking next to Terra. May as well have been out just as long," he corrected.
Kuja chuckled. "I guess you're right. But I wasn't sulking…"
"You're right. It was more like wilting."
He soured. "Fine. So I wasn't in the best shape."
"No. You weren't."
I sighed. "Vincent is being serious again~"
He looked to me with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm going to send Shelke after you."
He frowned. "I haven't been able to find her…"
"Why not?" I asked jokingly.
"I started searching as soon as we returned to Gaia. But I haven't been able to locate her anywhere."
I wanted to spew words of comfort. But Vincent wasn't the type to like that kind of sympathy. And in the end, they would just be words. Whether or not they held any value would be questionable. It was selfish to just want to see Vincent happy. Just to see him smile when he knew he couldn't.
My head hurt from all of the round-about talk. Nothing had been explained. And now my head was full of even more complex questions. I had to be patient. Answers would come with the meeting. At least I hoped so. Knowing most people, they might be just as baffled as everyone else. What we needed was a witness.
As we started toward the meeting hall, a hollow laugh caused me to stop. On instinct, I tensed, falling into a fighting stance and readying to defend. That laugh. I knew who it belonged to. Like hell I could forget it. It had been haunting my dreams for the past two months in Inferiad.
"What's wrong, Terra?" Kuja asked, coming to my side. He looked worried.
"Ah… umm…" I looked around and realized that, once again, it was the spell. Mateus had found me. Hello, nightmares. Slowly, I dropped the stance, accepting the fact that I would not be able to fight something I couldn't touch. But it would continue to haunt me until I won completely. Which wasn't likely due to certain circumstances.
"Terra?" He gripped my wrist and glared at me. All playfulness gone. Instead, his expression was filled with urgency. When I didn't answer, he pulled me into a tight embrace. "If something's hurting you… please allow me to help you…"
Help me? I wish I could. I wanted so much to open up to him again. It would take time. And I knew he would be confused at my distance. I had to be careful. I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn't trust him immediately. Oh, geez, Terra, can't you just tear away your pride? This was getting ridiculous! I may as well admit myself to the crazy house and plea insane because of this undying paranoia. By now it had well eaten into the normal life I craved.
For now, we dropped the fact of my abnormal behavior and entered the meeting room.
~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~
"Alexandria has been raided," Regent Cid announced from his throne. The statement yanked me back to the conversation and away from the admiration of the room's elegant and militant appearance. The walls were lined with ancient armor worn by heroes in the regent's bloodline. Like the rest of Lindblum Grand Castle, the floor was red and met the stone walls beautifully.
Garnet clapped a hand over her mouth. "That's… not possible." She looked to Beatrix. Merciless as she was, her guilt and sorrow remained blatant on the general's face.
Lowering her head, she offered a firm apology. "It's true. We were all… taken by surprise. A new enemy has risen. It became evident in the cruel pillaging."
A new enemy? Why target Alexandria? Brahne was dead. So what vengeance would anyone have against Garnet? "Cruelty…? Was anything specific found to confirm the intent?"
Beatrix fixed her cold gaze on me and nodded. "Quite specific." She glared to Ember. "The attack was like an explosion… the radius extended to the castle and past the lake." She suddenly appeared uncomfortable.
Rather than ask, I decided to deduce the facts she displayed. The 'explosion' didn't target the castle. But it reached it without a problem. Could it have been an aerial attack? That didn't seem possible because Lindblum checks all exporting airships. Dali didn't seem to have enough space to harbor large scale explosives. Though there was rumor of an underground factory which was the birthplace of all the black mages. So I couldn't exactly exclude them from the list. Although I couldn't think of a reason for Dali to attack Alexandria. They were all such peaceful folk. Some of them did act very rude, but that didn't mean they were all bad.
As for Burmecia-Cleyra, they had no reason to act hostile. They lived through the terror of being leveled. Targeting them as suspects was out of the question. They didn't seem to harbor the capacity to use modern weapons like explosives.
I sourly looked to Ember. It was the first time I'd seen him clearly since Esthar. Both moments were extremely brief. He looked eager and maybe a little sad. I couldn't tell if he was itching to lecture me about his legacy or apologize. But for once he wasn't glaring.
My thoughts wandered to my father. He assisted in weakening Madain Sari for destruction. Anger boiled as I glared at Cid. He was under his orders after all.
A gentle hand slid over mine beneath the table. At once my shaking, balled fist calmed. Without glancing to Kuja who sat to my right, I gripped the hand he offered, drinking in the comfort.
"What was the determined location of the explosion, General?" Ember inquired. The command of his voice cut off any argument she might have prepared. He wanted a straight answer.
Beatrix drew in a breath and closed her eyes, letting out the air slowly. "Your residence."
Ember furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"What about the rest of the kingdom?" Garnet asked.
"The damage isn't as severe as when Bahamut was summoned. However, a great number of women and children are missing. No corpses have been found, so we can assume they might still be alive. And also…" Another glance to Ember. "Ferris and Julian Evans have also vanished."
"Neither of them are children!' Ember shouted. For the first time in a while, he showed his unease.
Beatrix looked over. "Which is why they are both suspect to the attack. Their bodies have not been found. But it is doubtful they would have lived. The explosion had magical tendencies. The missing citizens is very confusing. The targets were specific to only women and any child under the age of ten. I apologize, Ember," she bowed her head. "This is a terrible tragedy. And I understand you are in no condition to fully take in what my knights and I have gathered."
His response made it evident that he didn't care or didn't hear her apology. "So they might be dead somewhere while you persist to label them as criminals?" He shook with anger. Words hissed from between his clenched teeth. This was his attempt at staying calm.
She stared up at him, completely unfazed by his reaction. "Yes."
The room darkened, filling with a heavy, unseen force. Lanterns flickered from each corner of the hall. Chilly air brushed past me and I could see the faces around the table panic.
To my left, Vincent shifted, anticipating an attack. Ember's red eyes settled into a subconscious gaze, growing more intense and frightening than ever. Then, all at once, the table burst into flame.
Shouts of surprise echoed harshly around the room. Fire burned my knees and I fell back in the chair, trying to stop the sharp pain. Several others were burned by the flame and much worse than I.
Garnet stood on her chair, arms extended. She vanished, leaving an angelic creature in her place.
As the light from the creature dispersed, a flicker of knowing struck my mind. "Shiva…" I breathed, watching the blue fae dance from a prism of light.
The eidolon smiled briefly to me and moved her hands to a spell in the air, sending a calm storm of frost to still the flames. As the fire died, she approached my brother. Cool, icy blue hands caressed his face with gentle care. He snapped from the daze and looked up in alarm.
Shiva pressed one of her hands over his eyes and uttered words I could not hear. Pulling away, Ember's eyes flickered closed and he fell to the floor, unmoving.
Fear collected in my gut. Had she killed him? Before I could confront her, she vanished, leaving a fatigued Garnet crumpled on the floor.
Zidane hesitated for only a moment before rushing to her side, forgetting his vendetta against his brother.
Kuja got my attention and placed a hand on my shoulder before making sure I was alright, searching my entire body for injuries. This made me blush several shades of red. It wasn't often someone took time to assure my complete well-being. When he reached my knees, he carefully pulled my shorts up from the wounds. Gripping the floor, I winced and held back a small cry.
His hands lay just above the wounds, leaving space for a healing spell to form. Soothing wisps of white streams trickled over the burns like mist, peeling away the damage and pouring life into the deadened cells. A small ache of healing pain was swept away with the damage. Once it ended, I looked up to Kuja who smiled triumphantly and pulled me to my feet. A discrete hug was exchanged between us as we returned to our seats.
Guards carried Ember and Garnet from the room. Zidane accompanied them, looking worriedly after Garnet.
Vincent reclined his head with a sigh. "They've locked Ember away in the cells until he's stable enough to control himself."
"Why?" I looked to him in alarm. "Wouldn't that environment only make him more hostile?"
"At least he'll be away from civilians. It's better that he cool down there and reevaluate the situation he's in."
Deryo brushed ash off his white robe. He appeared just as shaken as I felt. The dragon knight beside him, Livia was her name, maintained a stoic expression. Beatrix remained hard to read; eyes closed, arms crossed. Thoughtful, maybe? As for the Regent, he appeared worried.
The door opened, admitting a very graceful woman wearing an exquisite dress. She hurried to the Regent and whispered something to him. He seemed to calm. I tried to study the woman from behind, but couldn't get a good look. Kuja grinned a little and I glared to him. "Don't you recognize her?" he whispered.
"I'm trying… to see her face…"
"Surely you remember…"
Remember… right. Try being labeled the Arbitrator and having a memory. It's a lot of fun, I thought sarcastically.
Then it hit me. "Lady Hilda!" I shouted, pointing and standing.
She turned, searching for the one who called her name. It wasn't hard to see me. I just embarrassed myself in front of everyone. Standing and pointing awkwardly in a very important meeting.
The timing didn't seem to bother her. Almost immediately, she rushed over and embraced me. "Terra…" she cried, squeezing me in a tight hug. "You're awake! I'm so glad!"
Our reunion didn't seem to bother anyone. I promised to tell her about my journey as soon as I could. She nodded and then went back to Cid, kissing his cheek before leaving once more.
"We've just received a request from the new adversary…" The doom re-stitched itself to his face. "As a promise to not attack Lindblum, they've requested that Terra Evans meet them in Ipsen's Castle."
The seat vanished beneath me. It must have because I felt like the room was being torn asunder into a whirlpool of blackness.
He went on. "Our kingdom is in no way prepared to face such an attack. However, I'm not about to serve our newest guest to them just so they'll leave us alone. Therefore, I've issued a warrior banquet. We are building our army tomorrow. We will stand and fight against that which has decimated our friends! And we will find and prove innocent Ferris and Julian Evans!"
His words brought smiles to everyone's faces. Rays of hope. But my mind was far from calm. The weight of the situation was crashing down on me like those hundreds of feet beneath the water in Inferiad. Who was this new adversary? And what did they want with those women and children? What did they want with my brothers? And what did they want with me?
The laughter amplified in my mind. Cruel and continuous as if mocking all that I worked so hard to accomplish. Living was an accident; it had to be.
Were it possible that everything I had done up to now was pointless? I saved the world from destruction… but the evils continued to press against everything I fought for. Ripping down the order which I had helped to settle. Chaos is persistent. Just how much persistence can I take before I'm brought to my knees in defeat?
Then my own ray of hope dawned. I pressed my hand to my stomach and raised my fingers two inches above my umbilicus and pushed upward between my ribs. They hit something hard and spherical. All my answers might be held within that orb. Now the trial I faced was extraction…