Chapter 3
(3rd May 2009)
Ianto woke up first and wriggled out of Jack's possessive grip so he could get out of bed. He grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it over his head, walking into the hall. He grinned to see Dubhtach lying in front of Michaela's room. The wolfhound lifted her head to watch him as he approached.
"Morning girl." he murmured, bending to pet her head. Then he took hold of the door handle and pushed it down so he could peer into the room. Michaela was still asleep, in a string top and shorts, her covers down by her ankles. A pregnancy book lay on the floor by the bed, and one of her hands rested on her tummy. Ianto had a strange flash of insight of himself checking in on her in a few months and seeing her belly round and big with the baby. It was gone in the same second it came, but it definitely woke him up. He would try to talk to her today about the possibility of adoption. He still wasn't sure if he even liked the idea, but they had to be sensible.
Ianto shut the door and ambled down the stairs. He released his pet rabbits, the titchy, black furred Bart and the enormous, sandy furred Señor Fluffles. Bart immediately scampered out of the kitchen, no doubt looking for Dubhtach. The bratty bunny was fond of napping on the wolfhound's back. Señor, on the other hand, nuzzled against Ianto's calf and followed him around as he prepared coffee. Soon Dubhtach came down to join them, Bart on her back, and followed by Michaela, who was yawning and rubbing her stomach.
"Morning." said Ianto, smiling at her.
"Urgh." she greeted, dropping into a chair and pouting at the table. Ianto smirked,
"Sleepy?"
"Sicky." she replied, still rubbing her stomach. "If this is how I'm going to wake up every morning, you are in for a world of misery as payback."
"Payback?"
"I'm being punished with morning sickness, so I have to punish you. This is half your fault." she reasoned, tilting her head as she propped it up on her hand. She threw him a sardonic smile, which reassured him enough.
"Well at least I'm not being fully blamed." sighed Ianto as he poured out the coffee into two mugs.
"Indeed, and to maintain that, I would make me a cup of tea if I were you."
"What about peppermint tea? Might settle your stomach?"
"Hrm… maybe. I'm not allowed to have caffeine anymore, am I?"
"I dunno. Pregnancy is one of those few areas I know very little about."
"I should have checked with Owen." she sighed, looking even more sulky.
"I think I have peppermint from when I was having trouble eating after the cannibals. Why not go for that for the moment?"
"Can I have herbal tea though? I might not be able to have that either. Hell, I'm not allowed ibuprofen or paracetamol."
"Doesn't it usually say on the side of things?"
"Well, at least I'll be keeping up my reading for the next ten months."
"T-ten?" stuttered Ianto before he could stop himself. Michaela nodded, looking rueful,
"Think about it, four weeks a month, more or less, yeah? And forty weeks for a normal pregnancy so… four into forty is ten."
"Yes, except that only works if you're going by the moon and not the solar calendar." said Jack as he sauntered into the room. He dropped a kiss on Michaela's head and then gave Ianto a proper kiss on the mouth before snagging his coffee. "Most months are more like 4 and a half weeks, which brings it around to 9 months. Plus, you're nine weeks along, but really you're only seven, because they use that old method that includes the two weeks before you actually conceived."
"How come?"
"It was a system set up before scans were really available so there had to be room for error to set up your estimated date of delivery."
Michaela nodded, seemingly just absorbing the information, while Ianto scrunch his brow and then asked,
"Why do you know that?"
Jack looked at him, and a flash of darkness passed across his eyes, then he shrugged, "You stick around long enough you learn plenty of odd facts."
"Uh huh…" said Ianto suspiciously. Michaela rubbed her brow.
"Dr Hamilton is going to wean me off the meds." she said quietly.
"Oh, she decided that was safe?"
"Yes. The deal is I go back to seeing her everyday, and we'll reduce the amount of the drugs over a couple of weeks to get me off them. I'd rather just stop the Paxil, because of the effects it can have, but she's worried it'll have a rebound effect, sending me deeper than if I wean myself off."
Ianto could see the conflict on Michaela's face. She had no desire to return to the depression she had fallen into, but equally, she was worried about the effect the drugs would have on the baby.
"You have to do what's best for you, not just the baby." said Jack firmly, walking from Ianto's side to rest his hand on the back of her neck. It was a gesture that calmed her, much like it did with Ianto, who found it grounding, reassuring and a little bit powerful, as if Jack would take on some of the struggle for him.
"But what if the baby's heart is damaged by the Paxil? If I'd thought to check sooner-"
"Shh," Jack crouched down in front of her, "I'm sure the baby will be fine. You're doing the best you can. And maybe Owen will use our scanners to check if anything looks off. Would that help?"
Michaela nodded at once.
"Ok, I'll give him a call, and see what he says. I'm sure he can take a few minutes from his Sunday to do it." Jack squeezed her knee and straightened up, walking out of the room to find his phone. Ianto watched him go, grateful that Jack was being so understanding about all of this. It made him feel that maybe they could handle this. Michaela looked at him, giving him a feeble smile,
"I'm lucky you and Jack are so strong." she sighed.
"What'd you mean?" Ianto sat at the table next to her, setting his mug down. Señor pressed his head against Ianto's leg and he scratched at the long ears distractedly as Michaela shrugged,
"Just… I couldn't do this on my own."
"Who says you have to?"
"No, I mean… if Blaine had gotten me pregnant… God I don't know what would have happened. He probably would have kicked me until I lost it."
Ianto winced, he hated hearing about Blaine, especially since Michaela always sounded detached from the experience. "Well… that's not what's happening. You're here with us, and we'll do what's best."
"What's best?" Michaela wondered, propping her head up again. "If the Paxil has damaged the baby's heart… what then?"
"Don't think like that."
"I looked it up. It can cause foetal heart defects in the first three months of pregnancy and PPHN -Persistent pulmonary hypertension of the newborn- in the last three. It's so damaging and I'm still on it!"
"You need it."
"I don't need a damaged baby!" she snapped, then covered her mouth in shame. Ianto felt the breath knocked out of him and he sat back. Michaela swallowed, looking ashamed, "I just meant… I just…"
"No, I get it. No one wants an unhealthy baby." said Ianto shaking off the chills he felt at the idea of the baby being damaged. "But… well, we still don't know if we're going to keep it, do we?"
"I've already said I can't abort it! Even if it is damaged."
"I'm not talking about abortion, I'm talking about adoption?"
"Adoption?"
"Yeah. We could maybe give it up for adoption."
Michaela's face clouded over and Ianto sensed the mood swing before it hit, "What, I just plop out the baby and hand it over to some stranger and never see it again? I just hope that the people taking my baby will be nice enough to treat it right?" she demanded, throwing her hands out in a futile gesture.
"No! I don't think it's like that anymore. I mean, it's not like it used to be I don't think. Aren't there some situations where we'd be able to keep in touch? Open adoptions or something?"
"I have no idea." she snapped.
"Well, why don't we find out?" asked Ianto, trying to be patient. He reminded himself that he was dealing with a woman who was on antidepressants, had hormones rushing through her body, and had not had any easier a childhood than himself. Children were a sensitive topic for the both of them. He also reminded himself he was dealing with his friend, someone he loved and he had to treat her fairly.
"I don't want to just throw it away."
"It wouldn't be throwing it away, it'd be trying do what was best for it."
Michaela wrapped her arms around her middle and slumped in her seat, not answering him. Ianto was saved from saying more because Jack came in.
"Owen'll meet us in an hour to do the scan." he announced, glancing from one to the other, and saying nothing.
"Ok, just let me get set up and we'll take a look." said Owen.
"The scan won't do anything bad, will it? No x-rays or anything like that?" asked Michaela, twitching on the autopsy table.
"Nope. Nothing like that. We're using one of my best scanners, emits no harmful radiation and gets a clearer picture than the best M.R.I." Owen gave Michaela a reassuring smirk and that seemed to settle her. She was gnawing on her lip so hard she was in danger of making it bleed. Ianto meanwhile was standing with Jack on the steps. Jack had his arm around Ianto's waist and was whispering to him.
"Listen, I know this isn't easy, but you have to keep it in your head that right now Michaela is a walking hormone factory put into overdrive."
Ianto opened his mouth to tell him off, but Jack continued, "I'm not saying that negates her opinions or feelings, but you have to remember that right now her body is screaming at her to protect the baby, to love the baby, to do whatever she has to for the baby, and yes, to keep the baby with her. In a way this is better, because her depression could easily have made her completely apathetic to it. Instead she already loves it. But the pills, and her hormones and her own mind are all working her into a very protective state and you need to respect that even if it makes things difficult."
"I'm trying."
"I know you are. I'm telling you this because I know in your head you're struggling with the fact that her hormones are causing her mood swings, because you worry acknowledging that is dismissing her opinions."
"… maybe a little. It seems really sexist. Like calling her hysterical."
"I know. And in many cases it is used unfairly. But right now it's not, so long as you only think of it as a part of it."
Ianto nodded, giving Jack a quick smile. Jack grinned and squeezed his waist.
"Ok, we are ready to go." said Owen, holding the wand of the scanner at the ready. "If you'll just lie back and think of Torchwood Michaela."
Michaela did as she was told, and Owen switched on the scanner, lowering the wand to her lower belly. As soon as it touched her Michaela covered her eyes like a child and shuddered.
"Easy…" said Owen gently. Ianto slipped away from Jack and rested his hand on Michaela's hair, stroking it as Owen moved the wand over her lower abdomen. "Now, let's see where this little one is…"
It took a moment or two, during which Ianto saw nothing but shadows, his attention mostly on Michaela who was now visibly trembling. Then Owen let out a noise of triumph,
"Aha! Gotcha." He bent closer to the screen, almost blocking Ianto's view. After a few moments of careful examination, he straightened up and an almost goofy smile was trying to break out on his face. "Looks absolutely fine."
"Really?" asked Ianto in surprise. He could admit now that he had expected bad news. It just seemed like what would happen to them.
"Really. Heart looks fine. Beating normally and no sign of any defects."
"Are you sure?" asked Michaela, hands still over her eyes. Owen finally smiled and nodded,
"I'm sure. Here, take a look." He stood aside and pulled the screen closer to the two. Michaela didn't drop her hands.
"I can't!" she whimpered. Ianto shook his head and took hold of her wrists, gently pulling them away from her, "No, Ianto! Please, I can't-"
"Yes you can. You can, 'kaela, look." soothed Ianto, pulling at her to look at the screen. Looking terrified, Michaela glanced at the screen out of the corner of her eye. And then she turned her head fully and reached out, pulling the screen closer. Her mouth fell open and she gasped.
"Oh! Oh… look."
Ianto found himself smiling at her reaction, then finally looked at the screen himself. His jaw dropped,
"Oh!"
The screen showed the foetus in real colour, like a camera was actually inside Michaela's womb. It had a massive head, black spots where its eyes should have been, tiny little arms budding from its C-shaped body, and budding legs at the bottom. The umbilical cord was stretched across to the side, connecting the baby to Michaela. As Ianto stared at it, it twitched and moved, little arms flailing and budding legs kicking.
"Wow…" muttered Ianto, unable to look away.
"Mmhm. And listen." said Owen quietly. He flicked a switched and a rapid, regular beat filled the space. "That is its heartbeat."
Ianto listened, stunned by the feeling blossoming in his chest as he watched the little creature twitch and move. He became aware of pain in his arm and glanced down. At some point Michaela had grabbed onto his forearm and now had it in a death grip as she stared at the screen. Ianto, despite having gotten good at reading her, could not fathom what she was thinking.
"'kaela?"
Michaela bit her lower lip again, and then let out a little, slightly hysterical giggle, "Look! Its got a tail!"
Owen and Ianto moved as one to examine the screen, and Ianto saw there was indeed a little protuberance coming out of the bottom of the foetus. Owen straightened up again first,
"That'll go away. It's just-"
"I know! But its funny." Michaela giggled again. "It's like a little monkey. I thought it would look more like a fish!"
Ianto frowned, slightly worried now. "Why would-"
"Well, don't most creatures at the very start of their existence all pretty much look the same?" Colour was flushing Michaela's cheeks, which had been white from fear moments ago. Ianto could hear Jack chuckling behind him.
"I suppose, but only in the first week or two." said Owen carefully. "It develops rapidly. It's already got brain waves."
"Mmm…" Michaela looked almost dazed as she stared at the image on screen. "Well… if we can handle dogs and rabbits, we can handle a little monkey, can't we?"
Ianto decided her relief over the baby's health was making her giddy.
"Sure… why not?"
He glanced at Owen over Michaela's head and shrugged. Michaela let out a sigh of relief and Ianto felt a lot of the tension leave her body as she looked up at him and smiled,
"I think it's got your arm buds."
Ianto blinked down at her, then felt his own giggle bubbling up. He did not fight it and ducked his head, leaning into her as she rested a hand on his chest and giggled with him. Ianto felt his body relax and he encircled her in his arms, and hugging her to him. He could admit that he had been worried too that something would be wrong. He just had not wanted to let Michaela see, in case she had gotten even more anxious.
Ianto felt Jack's eyes on him and glanced up at his lover. Jack was leaning against the wall and smiling at him with a nostalgic sadness. Ianto tried to ask him silently what was wrong. Jack smiled wider and shook his head.
"Congratulations. She's beautiful."
"She?"
"Oi! Don't go guessing what sex it is before the bloody organs have a chance to develop!" said Owen, checking his computer to ensure it was recording the scan.
"Well, better than calling the baby it all the time." said Jack with a chuckle.
"I'm calling it monkey!" said Michaela with a giggle. Ianto rolled his eyes with an indulgent smile on his lips.
"If you must."
"It's either monkey or Tigger –because of the tail." she told him, eyes fixed on the now frozen image as Owen took the wand away and let her sit up. "How's the song go? 'The wonderful thing about Tiggers…'?"
Jack grinned, then bounded down the stairs, jumped in front of her and seized her hands as he burst into song,
"Oh…The wonderful thing about tiggers
Is tiggers are wonderful things!
Their tops are made out of rubber;
Their bottoms are made out of springs!"
He pulled Michaela off the table, put an arm around her waist, held her hand and started to dance around in circles, carrying her with him as he continued to sing,
"They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is
I'm the only one!
Oh the wonderful thing about tiggers
Is tiggers are wonderful chaps!
They're loaded with vim and with vigor;
They love to leap in your laps!
They're jumpy, bumpy, clumpy, thumpy,
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is
I'm the only one!"
Michaela squealed with laughter as she was swept along in Jack's arms. Ianto and Owen stared as the pair circled them around and around as Jack continued in a loud voice,
"Tiggers are cuddly fellas.
Tiggers are awfully sweet.
Ev'ryone else is jealous.
That's why I repeat and repeat:
The wonderful thing about tiggers
Is tiggers are wonderful things!
Their tops are made out of rubber;
Their bottoms are made out of springs!
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is
I'm the only one!"
Jack finished by lifting Michaela into a bridal hold and disappearing with her giggling up into the main part of the Hub, leaving Ianto and Owen standing there, staring.
"Did that just happen?" asked Owen carefully as he wrapped the scanner's cable around the wand.
"If it didn't… you probably need meds too." said Ianto sounding equally dumbfounded.
"No one will believe us when we tell them."
"Except we have cameras."
Owen considered it for a moment, then pointed after Jack and Michaela.
"… For the love of God go save the CCTV!"
Hey guys, I really hope you're enjoying the story still, and I would appreciate all reviews and concrit that can be given.
Night's Darkness/Ginger