unlike before, i havent' watched the addams family in a bit so i do hope it's still the same quality. it's difficult to get the right quirkiness so please forgive!
"How was school today, October?" Joel asked as Morticia served dinner to him.
"All was well until a golden Devil appeared in the classroom and sat next to me."
"Oh, did you win something?" Wednesday asked, sipping the strange soup in her plate.
"No, Mother. It was a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes."
Wednesday blinked at her daughter.
"His family must be having troubles. Remember how Pubert got that when Uncle Fester left us for Debbie?" Wednesday asked Pugsley, who was sitting next to Eingelbert.
Pugsley looked up and nodded. "Yeah, it was pretty gross."
"So he's been afflicted with a disease?" October asked, curious.
"Not necessarily." Joel said, making a face at his wife. "He may just have blonde hair and blue eyes like other people."
"Well if he's diseased I would like to help him."
"Look what you did, Wednesday, you made her think he's got something."
Wednesday looked at Joel without expression until he got uncomfortable and then she turned back to her daughter.
"What's the diseased boy's name?"
"A revolting name, Mother, I can barely stand to tell it to you… It's Bradley Buckman-Smythe."
Wednesday dropped her fork in surprise.
"Two last names?! Joel, we must let her transfer classes."
Joel sighed. "Wednesday, she won't get anything from him."
"Those with two last names are considered quite rich, mind you." Morticia said. "They can influence all sorts of people. Those are the ones to watch out for."
"You must ask to switch desks at once when you get back to school. No daughter of mine will sit next to a two-namer."
"You said Buckman? Wasn't that one girl at camp named Buckman?" Joel asked, putting his cigar in his mouth. "I remember tying someone up with that name…"
"The Pilgrim Sarah Miller." Wednesday said, picking up her fork.
"Isn't that the name of your book, Mother?" Eingelburt said, looking up at her.
Wednesday nodded. "Yes. How the Pilgrims should have been treated and what it would be like if Native Americans hadn't been suckered into small pox blankets. My best seller…"
"So tragically charming." Morticia said with a small smile.
"So, what should I do about Bradley?"
"You stay away from him and if you can't, at least try to cure him. No daughter of mine will be affected by a two-namer, a blonde one at that."
"I can give you a list of spells to help the poor boy."
"Thank, Grandmama."
Yes! Spells!
"Anyone know the answer to number four? October?"
October looked at the question in regards to the story of Saint Nicholas. She frowned at the jolly fat man depicted on the page and looked at the teacher.
"I can't answer that. I don't believe in Santa Claus."
"Well, no one else here does either, October, but this is in regards to Saint Nicholas, the originator of the modern Santa Claus."
"I told you, I don't believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the Krampus."
"The what?" the teacher said, taken off guard.
"The Krampus. He took the bad children to Hell on Christmas."
The class began to look at each other and murmur about October's proclamation and the teacher made the class quiet down.
"Alright then, Ms. Addams, please tell the class about this Krampus thing. I'd like to know more about it as well."
October moved her mouth to the side, not expecting to get much backup on the creature, but she didn't mind telling the idiots in her class about Krampus.
"Krampus is said to actually be a companion of Saint Nicholas and is a furred beast. He looks more like a goat with a scary face, sharp teeth and claws, and large horns sticking up from his face. While your Saint Nicholas was giving out gifts to the lovely children, he was directed Krampus to eat the others. And so, at night, while everyone was sleeping, children would be taken and thrown in sacks to be judged in the underworld."
"That's so scary! Why do you have to be so weird?" a girl said, looking at October.
"Why do you have to be so stupid?"
"Girls… Thank you, October, for that… uh… lovely explanation of a Krampus."
October sat down and went back to doodling in her notebook when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She looked over as Bradley stared at her. She narrowed her eyes at him and pulled away.
"What?"
"That was pretty cool about the Krampus thing. I never knew that."
"That doesn't surprise me."
"Could you explain it more to me at lunch or something?"
"Can you explain why you think I want to talk to you?"
Bradley was a little taken aback by the harshness of October's words but put on his brave face and leaned toward her.
"My mother always told me to be nice to everyone… even weird pale freaks like you."
Though the words kind of stung, October didn't miss a beat.
"I was told to cast a spells on people who annoy me." She said stoically. "You wanna hear one?"
"No thanks."
"Then stop annoying me."
Bradley went home and dropped his backpack in the walkway of the house. Going to the kitchen to get a snack, he leaned against the counter and thought about October. She was such an odd girl but she intrigued him. He'd never heard of that crumpet thing. He went over to his laptop and typed in the word, reading about it. He wondered what kind of stuff she liked… It seemed like macabre and torturous stuff mostly…
"Bradley, is that you?"
"Yeah, Mom, it's me."
Amanda walked in and made a face at him, putting her hands on her hips.
"What are you reading?"
"Hmm? Oh, I'm reading about this thing called a Krampus. A girl in school told the class about it."
Amanda leaned across the couch to look at the article.
"What a gruesome creature. Was it for a report?"
"No, she told the teacher she didn't believe in Santa Claus and believed in the Krampus. She's really weird."
"Now, now, Bradley, we shouldn't make fun."
"I'm not being mean, Mom, it's just that she really is weird. She's as pale as a ghost with black hair and deep black eyes. She hates my guts and even threatened to put a spell on me today!"
Bradley's mother stopped in her tracks.
"A spell?"
"Yeah!"
"What is this girl's name?"
"Uh… October Addams."
Amanda made a face and leaned over the couch again, pulling the laptop shut.
"What did you do that for?!"
"Listen to me, Bradley, and listen well." She said, coming around the couch. "You know that book that I told you not to read? It was called The Pilgrim Sarah Miller?"
"Yeah, you said it was a porno book or something."
"Well, I lied about that, dear… You see, that book is actually about me and the character I played in a small play at an old camp called Camp Chipewa."
"Oh, you've talked about that place before. You and Dad used to go to it before it burnt down."
"Yes, well, the reason Camp Chipewa is no longer there is because this girl that you're sitting by, her mother burnt it down."
Bradley gave his mother a 'get real' look.
"Mom, just because she's weird and has the same last name as the author doesn't mean they are related."
"I'm telling you the truth. Wednesday Addams burnt Camp Chipewa to the ground and… and I was there. Where do you think I got these scars on my wrists from? That was from where I was trying to untie myself from a beam that I was tied too. That bitch put an apple in my mouth and then lit a match right in front of me, setting the kindling on fire under my feet! I didn't want you to have that book in the house and see what she had made of my humiliation and fears."
Bradley made a face at his mother again.
"Mom, it's just a coincidence, I'm telling you. I mean, seriously, the girl said she was going to put a spell on me. Like that's for real…"
Bradley got up to put his backpack away before Amanda yelled at him when he saw a small piece of paper in his cup holder. He pulled it out and read the small note outloud.
"Ad nigrum flavo, et loqueris ad pharmacopolam; a prima luce usque ad vesperam. Huh… Someone must have accidentally stuck their Latin stuff in my bag. I'll take it tomorrow to give back."
He stuffed it back in his backpack and hummed on the way up the stairs.
uh oh, it looks like someone slipped a little gift of their own into his backpack. idiot, everyone knows that if someone threatens you with a curse, most curses are in latin because it's the old language... so good job bradley. just like his mother haha
and i just found out about krampus from, ironically, a soap opera my nana was watching. i think that that would be something the addams' would take great delight in