Look at him, over there, standing with all the so called 'knights'. All so full of himself, with his magic sword and his boasting and his stories. The ones that should include ME!'
Link silently sat at his side table in the Lumpy Pumpkin, brooding over his thoughts and shooting daggers at Groose every time he so much as laughed. He hated Groose for taking his destiny, the one that should rightly be his!
But no more time to think about that. He and Groose were something of a team now, but you couldn't tell it from the way Groose told his stories.
'Ah, now he's showing off the flying bug machine...' Link had no idea what any of these objects were called, and refused to call them the 'Grooseenator', the 'Grooseifier' or even the 'Grooseomatic'. Stupid names for a stupid guy.
"Link? Seem to have lost you, mate!" Pipit said cheerfully, over the table from the man himself.
"Oh... Yeah, sorry about that." Said Link chirpily, trying to convince Pipit that he hadn't just been thinking of a way to knock the chandelier down on Groose's head.
"So, how's it been with Karane then? Still going steady?" Link asked inquisitively, trying to distract Pipit from Groose's loud story about how he slayed 'A mighty dragon with 7... No, wait, 15 heads!' Idiot...
"Oh, you know Link. The same as usual, with no more goings on than usual. Goddess, it's like she never puts out!" Pipit whined.
This snapped Link out of his mood. 'Pipit never talks about this stuff... He must be really frustrated.'
"Honestly it just makes me want to visit the house below the... Wait, forget I said that." Pipit said hurriedly, quickly drinking up his soup and bread. "More pumpkin stew, Link?"
"Wait what do you mean, the house below? Below Skyloft? Answer me Pipit!" Said Link, as Pipit was looking round the room, trying to see an escape out of his situation.
"Okay, look" Pipit caved, "its only rumour and such! It's just... Look, apparently, beneath the main town, there is this house. It's hidden beneath, and is said to be built into the rock, hiding it from all but the most persistent searcher. And inside are... Women."
"Is that all? There are plenty of women on the surface too you know." Link stated, but he did have a vague idea where this could be going.
"Well, that's not entirely all that's there. The girls there are... Shall we say, loose?" Pipit tried to laugh, to ease the awkwardness of trying to explain ladies of the night to his younger friend.
Link's face remained blank, however, so Pipit decided to put it bluntly.
"Look, they are girls who pleasure guys for rupees, ok? There, I said it!" Snapped Pipit, and leaned back in his chair.
Link felt shocked at first, but he too had heard the rumours; of girls sneaking off, only to come back with pockets full of rupees the next day, and of boys disappearing at night only to have a huge smile the next day and stories about 'this girl'.
"If it's hidden, how could anyone find it?" Enquired Link, in a slightly suspicious way.
"Well," said Pipit, ignorant of his friends unnatural question, "apparently it only opens at night, and. And so there's no way to get to the bottom without some clever thinking.
"Huh..." Link had solved some decent puzzles in his time as Groose's 'sidekick', and thought he already knew how.
His train of thought was interrupted by Groose shouting in his ear, drunkenly, "Hey! Little man! I'm turning in here, so fix yourself up for the night, cause I got no more rupees to spare!"
And with that, Groose stumbled up the stairs, with an attractive girl Link mentally named 'Fangirl #2', and fell into his room with her.
'If he is doing that, why the hell can't I! He will probably even get Zelda by the end! Wait... Zelda...'
'I don't want to betray her, do I? But she will fall in love with the chosen hero, with HIM in the end, is what the stories say. But maybe they are wrong...'
'Oh what the hell, a look couldn't hurt, could it?'
And with that thought, and with the sound of "I'm not doing threesomes here Groose! Who even is this girl, and what do you mean she's your sword!", Link walked out of the Pumpkin and called out for his loftwing, riding it until the sun went down and he could meet with these 'girls'.
(((((((())))))))
'Is it even here?' Link asked himself, as he flew under Skyloft in his vain attempt to try and find this hidden hideout. He had been flying well over an hour now, and from the occasional whines and moans from his bird, he knew he couldn't do so for much longer.
As he was just about to give up and fly back to his room at the academy, he saw a faint flicker of light on one of the rocks. 'There!'
He dashed towards it on his loftwing, and, sure enough, a kind of retractable door had opened, and sure enough, there was a hidden room behind it. Link skilfully flew his loftwing through the hole, and then unskilfully fell off his loftwing onto the hard wooden floor.
"Arg!" He shouted, as he bashed his head against the floorboards. He looked up and noticed a lack of anything around him: no chairs, no tables, no bed, no damn carpet! 'And you would have thought the bed would be essential in a place like this!'
"Damn! Why is there no one here? A hidden room with no purpose? I mean, just why?"
"Oh, I thought I heard someone come in." Said a voice behind him. He looked around slowly and his jaw dropped.
"Karane! What are YOU doing here!" Link exclaimed, surprised that Pipit's girlfriend, (as he had set them up a week ago), was in a place like this.
Karane also looked surprised, and she also voiced her horror: "What am I doing here? Link, you shouldn't even know about this place! Who told you!"
"Well... Uhhh..." Link didn't really want to tell her that Pipit had been speaking about this place, as he could imagine her reaction when he told her that her boyfriend knew about a brothel. It would start with a slap, and work its way up.
"Well, never mind who told you." Link breathed out a sigh of relief. "You shouldn't even be here, Link! Your far too young."
"I'm to young?" Link replied angrily. "Your only TWO years older than me Karane! YOUR too young to work here!"
"Oh, about that..." Karane said, blushing for the first time Link had ever seen. "No, I work for them, I just don't... Participate in the way the others do. I just take the booking and... Groups..." She was blushing more deeply now, and looked away from Link's 'really...?' face.
"Look, it's true! Pipit would get suspicious if I wasn't... Unbroken!" She was half angry, and half embarrassed, and her face was the reddest he had ever seen.
"Hey, don't turn this on me! Your the one that has come here!" Now it was Link's turn to blush, as he looked away from Karane's face, to the floor.
"It's just... Uhhh!" Link groaned, trying to explain the pent up anger that he had built up over his time working with Groose.
"Okay, let me explain." Karane was still staring at him, unabashed. "It's just, I've been down on the surface with Groose, and it is always "me this, me that!" My god, it's so annoying! I just... I just want it to be about ME for a change!"
Karane's face slowly softened as she listened, and eventually went over to him, took his arm, and led him to the door she came out of, as Link continued talking:
"It's when he brags about the defeating of the huge monsters that I have to weaken, its talking with the other knight's about his exploits, and the worst part is about him 'claiming his prize' with Zelda!"
It was then that he realised he was shouting his words right at Karane. He calmed himself down, but that didn't dispel the look of shock on her face. "Sorry." He said briefly, and stopped walking when they reached the door.
"Wow..." Whispered Karane, as she gently rubbed Link shoulder. "You seem... Really stressed. Perhaps it is a good idea for you to come here. You seem really angry about... Well, about Zelda."
"Did I?" Replied Link. "It's just, this whole situation just pisses me off! Why is he this so-called chosen hero?" He looked down at his feet. "It should have been me." He said softly.
Karane pulled his face up by his chin and stared into his beautiful eyes. "Link, you seem really beat up about this... Is there anything else?"
Link didn't really want to go into this much detail, but he had already poured his heart out to Karane, and she probably wouldn't be surprised about what he was about to say.
"I'm in love with Zelda. I love her, but I cannot do anything about it. I can't tell her now, I can't search for her because Groose has my damn sailcloth, and I can't even sleep without worrying about her. And you know the worst thing? It's all futile. Because I'm not the hero. He is."
"I haven't got any chance with her, Karane. We used to be best friends, but who is she going to fall for? The big guy in the expensive armour, or the dim sidekick who has visited a damn brothel?"
Link looked at Karane again, and it surprised him to see that she was crying. He quickly pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her until she could speak again.
"Th- thi-... This is why she will choose you Link. You care. You love her. No matter what Groose is, no matter how much he tries to rescue her, he doesn't have a chance. He doesn't care about her the way you do, he doesn't feel that she matters, he just thinks of her as a... What was it? A prize?"
"Look at yourself, Link! You don't love me, but you care about me crying. You care about the world! I've heard countless complaints about Groose, how he is violent and stupid. Your clever Link! Use your brain!"
Link nodded to her words, and by the time she was done, he was smiling at her. "Thank you, Karane. I cannot thank you enough!" He hugged her again, and she hugged him back, laughing at his positive mood.
"So..." Karane said, as they broke apart. "I guess you won't be needing our... Services, then, right?"
Link laughed at her question. "Ha! I guess your right. Oh, and don't worry; I won't tell Pipit you work here. Even if you don't 'work' here."
"You know Link, after hearing everything you said, I think I might quit. Pipit deserves more than just daytime fun, if you know what I mean..." Karane winked at Link. "And I certainly learned a few tricks!"
And with that, Link happily jumped back onto his loftwing and, with a final wave to Karane, flew off into the night.
(((((((())))))))
Link jumped back onto the Lumpy Pumpkin island, landing gracefully and running towards the door. Opening it, he rushed inside.
"Link?" Exclaimed Pipit, who was standing near the counter. "Why are you back here?"
Link smiled at Pipit, and walked over to him. "Oh, I was just out and about and I decided to come over here and give Groose a kick up the arse, you know? For old times sake?"
Pipit laughed. "Well, he is upstairs in room one. Give him one from me!"
As Link walked back to the stairs, he remembered something and turned back to Pipit. "Oh, you should run back to the academy! Someone's waiting there for you. And boy, is she happy!"
As he left a slightly bemused Pipit downstairs, he walked in on Groose and saw that he was, happily, sleeping alone again.
He went up to the bed and shoved Groose onto the floor, shouting in his ear: "Get up, you lazy sod! We are going to save Zelda."
Groose groaned, and got onto his knees. "Wha? Link, it's night! Go away!"
Pulling him up, Link looked at his face. Somehow, his stupid hair was still in perfect shape.
"We are going back down to the surface. And I'm going to save Zelda."
"You mean we, Link."
"You're certainly going to help."
Groose went to pick up his sword and shield. He was slightly wary of Link acting this way, because of the normally depressed and annoyed vibe he normally gave off.
"Why do you want to save her so much Link?" Groose said, in a mocking tone. "Is it because you loveeeee her?" Link just walked out of the room to rest on the banister until Groose got ready.
When he finally walked out, he went over to Link and said, "Link, really, what is going on? Why didn't you just leave me to sleep? And why are you so worked up about Zelda, that little slut… I'd do stuff to her that yo-"
His speech was cut off by a shove over the banisters, where he landed on his back and groaned.
"I'll take this," said Link, walking downstairs and taking Groose's sailcloth. "You won't be needing it for a while. I'll come back when I need your help. Don't wait around." And with that, he took the sailcloth Groose had stolen from him, and walked outside into the cold morning, and left Groose on the ground, winded and slightly pissed. 'It's what he deserves by now.'