I've never really had a close friend or family member in the hospital before, so I wasn't expecting the horrible anticipation in the waiting room. They had just taken Maureen from me, saying she would need stitches. Stitches? Do those hurt? I don't even know. I felt so helpless, because Maureen was clinging to life while I was just sitting there. Granted, we were never really close, but I still wish I were with her.
Maybe she wishes she were with me.
Every minute was feeling like an hour. The only thing I could do was hope she'd be okay and wonder how this even happened. Why would anyone want to hurt her? Sure, she can be a pain sometimes but…
Blood…there was so much of it. Drenching her shirt and her –
Wait a minute.
I've seen that blood before…
I wracked my brain, trying to think of why the scene looked so familiar to me. I swear I've seen something like that before … It was as if I had the sentence, but a few letters were missing from each word. I couldn't piece what I was thinking of together…
Then it hit me.
The man who had run by me before. He was the one who hurt Maureen. I knew it. I didn't even think about it, it just completely clicked. That's why he was running so fast, and that's why he had blood all over him.
Bastard.
I cursed myself for not stopping him. Not stopping the jackass and stabbing his side, to see how he liked it.
I would've continued my anger with myself, but a tall, robust doctor stepped in front of me. His eyes were soft, and I could tell there was good news right away. "Sir, you may see her now. She's awake."
Relieved by the report, I stood and followed the doctor through many long, narrow hallways to get to Maureen's room. When the doctor left, I felt terribly alone, and a little nervous honestly. And that's not like me.
I placed my hand on the cold metal knob, twisting it hesitantly. I shut my eyes as I opened the door, like I was afraid of looking in. I don't think I've ever been in a hospital room before.
When my eyes opened, they found Maureen buried in sheets, looking thin and frail. The poor thing still looked half unconscious, her eyes lightly closed and her body looking extremely still. Maureen was always so strong and energetic. I hated seeing her like this.
"Maureen?" I whispered, trying to see if there was a chance she was awake, like the doctor said. I sat down in the chair next to her, and took her hand. I don't think I've ever held Maureen's hand before. Not that I, you know, wanted to, but I figured it would be polite. Yeah, polite.
"Hmm?" Maureen made a small whimper and turned her head to look at me, her eyes half open. "Benny?" she asked, her voice scratchy and quieter than usual. She sounded surprised to see me.
"Hey, sweetie. How you feeling?" I asked her, letting the name slip. Sweetie? I never called her that. I didn't even call my wife that.
Maureen sat up slightly, blinking and looking a little more awake. I watched her cautiously, not wanting her to hurt herself. "Okay…why are you…did you…bring me here?"
It was a question I wasn't really expecting. "Yeah. I did. I saw you … and knew I had to do something." I looked away from her eyes, feeling guilty that I saw the jerk that did that to her beforehand. I know I couldn't have stopped him, but it still hurt to know I let him go.
"Oh…thanks. Maybe you're not such an ass after all." Maureen smirked, giving my hand a squeeze. I smiled at her, unable to help it.
"Maybe. How's your side?" I asked, though not really wanting to see that gash again. I don't really do well with blood.
"If you think that's an excuse to get me to take my shirt off, you're wrong." Maureen grinned again, though her eyes closed.
"Like you really need an excuse." I chuckled, stroking her hair lightly. Maureen laughed a little, finally warming up to me. Strange thing was, I was slowly getting comfortable with her too. "What happened?" I asked, trying to be gentle about it.
"I saw him in a bar earlier. He tried to buy me a drink…and I already had one or two. Or eleven." Maureen's breathing was jagged and it took a lot for her to speak, but that didn't stop her, of course. Nothing ever would. "Plus, he was creepy. I didn't think anything of it, but later he…" Maureen paused, turning on her side to face me. Her good side, that is. "He came up to me when I was walking home…I didn't recognize him… and he freaked. Next thing I know, he stabs me."
Shocked, I froze, looking deeply into her eyes. "I'm so sorry." I forced out, not knowing what else to say. I really did feel horrible, and it made me feel even worse that I'm ghastly with words. I wanted to express to her that it's okay, and she's safe now, but nothing came out except for a puny apology. It made it even worse that I saw the guy.
"Don't apologize. You're the one that saved me." Maureen smiled slightly. I could tell she appreciated what I had done and wanted to show me how grateful she was. Maureen just isn't that type of woman. And I'm not that type of man. Sensitive emotions are something we just don't express well.
But together…well, I get her. I understand her.
Maureen seemed to slip right back into unconsciousness, though a smile remained on her face. I sat down again, realizing it was about 1:30 in the morning and I left my house at 11. Alison didn't call, not once. I'm sure she's not asleep. Is she even worried about me?
If Maureen had never been hurt and I hadn't found her, I don't think I ever would have held her hand or even touched her hair. Chances are, if Maureen and I ran into each other tonight, we would've exchanged hate glares instead of soft whispers. I never would have noticed how beautiful the stars are and – Fine, I'll admit it…I would've never realized how truly gorgeous Maureen is. We've hated each other for so long, and built these thick walls so we could only see what we want to see. Well now, the walls have been condemned and suddenly I see the real Maureen.
And I like it.
"Miss Johnson?"
A deep voice picked me up out of my thoughts, making me realize how I had been gazing longingly at her. Maureen and I both looked up at the doctor, who was now poking his head through. "A Mr. Cohen and a Mr. Dick are on their way to see you."
I knew Mr. Cohen was Mark, Mr. Dick was probably Roger being a dick, and that I should leave. Mark, Roger and I never got along after I married Muffy and tried to get them evicted. They said they forgave me, but the hate was still clear.
The doctor shut the door, and I stood up, which apparently made Maureen a little more alert. "I better go, I –"
"You're leaving?" Maureen cut me off, giving me big puppy eyes and a pout. I couldn't resist, really, but I knew I had to go. Not that Alison was worried about me, but I didn't want a confrontation with Mark and Roger.
"I have to. Feel better, alright?" I bent down and on a whim, pecked her on the lips.
But Maureen had none of that.
Maureen bought me into a real, quick but deep kiss. I really was not expecting that but I won't deny that I'm glad it happened. "Thanks. For everything. Really. And I'm sorry for saying you had no balls."
"You never said I had no balls."
"Yeah, I did."
I laughed, ruffling her hair one last time. Still thrown off by her kiss, I thought of how this would probably be the last time I shared any affection with her ever again. "Take care of yourself."
As much as I didn't want to, I left, shutting the door. "I love you Maureen." I sighed, slipping those three words out for the first time in a long time.
I was shocked when I heard her reply.
"I love you too."
Authors Note: Okay, I'm so glad I finally got this done. It's been in my head since the summer and it needs to leave. I realize it's fast and dumb but yeah haha. Thanks so much for your reviews, really. They means so much to me, and I get so excited to see one. If you review me, I'll review you. Promise!
Keep Writing & Viva La Vie Boheme,
Marisa.