Angel walked back to his apartment in mode. His mind was racing with Buffy's revelations, to say it was a shock to his system was an understatement. Buffy wants to die? My souls permanent?

He was torn between feelings. He didn't know if he should be elated because his soul was safe or petrified that Buffy wanted to hurt herself. He settled on extreme worry.

Sure he was happy that Angelus could never appear, but a world without Buffy was meaningless. He needed her more than he needed blood.

i've got to find her. He ran to the nearest phone book and flipped it open, scanning the pages frantically for Summers,Hank. Angel tore the page out of the book and headed to his apartment where his car was parked. I have to find her.

Buffy was lying awake in her bed starring at the ceiling, as she held Mr. Gordo in her arms and cried. There was a knock on her door.

"Princess, are you awake?" Hank Summers asked from the other side of the closed door.

Buffy quickly wiped the tears away from her face and opened the door. "Yeah dad?"

"Honey, I know you're upset with me, I'm sorry I cancelled. It's just been a busy week at work." He said moving a stray piece of hair from her face.

She moved back from his hand. "Dad stop lying to me, I know about your date with Elane." At his confused look she continued. "She left a message on the machine, saying she might be a little late."

Hank didn't know what to say, he didn't know what could possibly make any of this better. "Honey, I'm so sorry."

"Save it dad, I'm going to sleep." With that she slammed the door on Hanks face.

Once she knew he dad was gone she began crying into her pillow.

Suddenly there was a small taping at her window. She looked up to see Angel standing on the ledge.

Buffy got up and opened the window glaring at him. "What do you want?" She asked angrily.

"I want to talk to you, can I come in?"

She thought about it a moment than said "Come in."

She moved to her bed, grabbed Mr. Gordo and sat crossed legged on the bed. "So, what are you going to lecture me on now, Drinking or the badness of suicide?" She said off handily.

"I'm not here to lecture you Buffy, that's what Giles is for."

"So why are you here?"

"I told you already, I want to talk."

"Talk about what Angel, I don't have time or the energy for your cryptic act. It got old when you left me." She said getting frustrated.

"I want to talk about… things" He said not really sure of what to say.

"Things, what kind of things?" She said as she let out a loud sigh. "How about Global Warming, the AIDS epidemic in Africa, World Hunger, you pick a topic."

"How's your summer going so far?"

"Dandy, I've been introduced to the wonderful world of booze." She said with a smile.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you drinking?"

"Because I want to."

"That's not an answer."

"Because it's fun Angel, I like it, because for a few hours I'm not worrying about the BULLSHIT that is my life."

"What bullshit Buffy?"

"Everything Angel, most of the bullshit comes from you."

"What bullshit do I feed you Buffy?" He was starting to get pissed off.

"You said you loved me. You said we'd be okay. Then you up and leave. You gave me bullshit reasons. You said 'ALWAYS'." She finished at barely a whisper.

"Buffy I do love you."

"So why wasn't that enough?"

"Because love isn't always enough."

"See, that's bullshit! God Angel, what else do you need? I was perfectly happy." She napped. "Don't I make you happy?" She whispered, tears freely glowing down her cheeks.

"Yes Buffy, how could you ask me such a thing? That's why I left, I was TOO happy." He said moving toward her. He pulled her small body to him. "I love you Buffy Summers. In all my long life, I've never loved anything as much as I love you." He said kissing her forehead.

"So why'd you leave me?" She said between sobs.

"Because I loved you so much it scared me. I caused you to much pain and you were going to college. I didn't want to hold you back. I was scared that in a few years you'd hate me because I kept you from doing normal college things, that I'd held you back from really experiencing college life." He looked down at her tear stained face. "I wanted you to enjoy as much of a normal life as you can."

"Angel I have only a few years left, if that. I want to spend that time with you, no one else." She admitted.

"I love you, I don't want anyone else either."

She cupped his face in her hands. "I love you too." She said and kissed him tenderly.