Chapter 2 Disciple

When I was growing up on Dantooine, the place seemed so alive and bright. My father and I would often sit on the front porch where he'd tell me numerous stories about my mother and how beautiful she was. He would often explain how I had her green eyes, which were ruined by his brown hair. However, when my father talked about my mother, I always felt sad. I'd never known her. She left before my 1st birthday. My father would often see the look in my eyes and give me a hug.

"She loved you very much..." He continued, "So much that it was hard for her to leave."

"Why'd she leave then?" I'd ask him, wiping a tear from my eye.

My father sighed. "I know it's hard for you to understand Jakkie, but your mother has a commitment to the lives of everyone in the Republic. It's not that she wanted to leave you; she had to."

Somehow those few words made me happy.

I wish I was happy now.

Dantooine looked so odd... So foreign. It was a completely different place from when I was last there. Travis kept the ship in orbit while he explained to Shen and I what we were going to do. When I saw Shen in the cockpit he looked tired. His eyes were bloodshot and his red hair wasn't the vibrant colour it had been on Nar Shadda. Even his skin had become a darker shade, and his voice was somewhat deeper when he spoke. Travis, on the other hand, was just as bright as he was when we'd left Nar Shadda. He seemed happy and the only difference was that his Lekku hung behind his shoulders, unlike the other day.

He shot a glance from Shen and then turned to me from the pilot's seat. "Glad to see that you're holding up alright." He tried to smile, but after seeing Shen it was hard.

I nodded and listened as Travis explained what was happening. Once we landed on Dantooine, Travis was going to take Shen and I to the now rebuilt Jedi Enclave. There we were going to meet up with a friend of my family, Mical.

I remembered Mical from when I was very young. I was only 5, but I could still see the tension in the air between him and my father one day when we were sitting in the lounge room. Mical had come to discuss his worries over my training with my father and neither of the men seemed too pleased with each other.

"Atton, I think it'd be better if she came to train in the Enclave." Mical told my father. "You know better than anyone that emotional attachments hinder a young Jedi's training."

"What do you mean by that?" My father would say. I sat on the floor listening to the two of them. In my father's eyes I could see anger towards the other Jedi.

"Remember how she..." Mical hesitated for a moment, "She left?"

My father stood up. "She left because of her duty to the people of the Republic!"

I let out a little cry and the two men turned their attention to me. I looked to Mical and then to my father, who both had paused their argument. My father saw that I was distressed and turned his attention back to Mical for a minute.

"Just give me a minute to tuck Jakkie into bed." He said calmed and walked over to me.

He offered me a hand. I took it and my father pulled me up. Hand in hand we walked out of the room, not before Mical said goodnight to me.

My father pulled the covers over me and pulled my favourite toy down from the shelf above my bed. He handed it to me and walked towards my door.

"Dad," I called still in distress from his and Mical's argument.

My father turned back around and sat on the bed. "Yes Cakey?" He asked using my nickname in an attempt to calm me down.

"What did the master mean?"

My father looked at the stuffed toy Tach, hugged tightly to me in my arms and said, "This toy was actually given to you by Disciple."

I looked at my father with confusion. Who was Disciple?

My father chuckled and quickly corrected himself. "I mean Mical." My father saw the look on my face and sighed. He knew that he wasn't fooling me, even if I was only a five year old. "Mical means that your mother left because of me."

My father gave me a kiss on my forehead and got up. Before turning off the light by the switch next to the door he turned back to me. "I'll explain it to you're when your older. Goodnight."

He turned it off and left the room.

I laid there in darkness listening to my father and Mical argue. I couldn't remember most of it but it eventually ended with my father saying that Mical couldn't take me away.

"She's the closest thing to Shana. I can't lose Jakkie like I lost Shana. Please Mical, you have to understand." My father sounded like he was begging with Mical.

From my room I could hear Mical's voice change from authority to a sound of sympathy. "I do understand."

I heard Mical's footsteps and the front door close as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Jakkie... Jakkie, did you hear me?" I turned my attention from the view screen back to Travis. His face didn't give me any sign of anger or frustration but I could hear it in his voice.

I nodded.

"Good. I suggest you think of some sort of alias before we land."

I gave Travis a confused look. "Why?"

Travis sighed. "I just explained this." He turned his attention to the controls. "Shen will explain it to you."

I looked to where Shen was sitting. He kept his head down and got up and left into the common room. I followed him closely. I took a seat directly across from where he sat.

With his head still lowered he said quietly, "Travis thinks it's better if we don't use our real names."

"Did he explain why?"

Shen shook his head. We both sat there in silence for a moment. "Why don't you use your nickname?" Shen asked, still keeping his head down.

"What, Cakey?" This is stupid, I thought.

"Yeah." Shen replied, finally raising his head. Although he was still upset and tired, he shot me a grin and laughed.

"Fine." I continued, "But since you chose my name, I'm going to chose yours." I tried to think of a good name, but only one came to mind. "Patches."

Shen gave me a look. "Why Patches?"

"When I was little I had a toy Tach. His name was Patches."

"Okay, but can I modify it just a little bit?" Shen asked.

"How'd I know you'd try to get out of a deal?" Because you're so damn predictable, even if your upset.

"No, it's not like that." He continued, "Patches can be my alias, but instead of saying Patches all the time..." He thought for a moment, "Why not just say Pat?"

I nodded. "Alright... Patches."

"Thanks... Cakey."

Travis was a graceful pilot and the landing was almost perfect. It wasn't Travis's fault, however, someone had built the landing pad on an awkward slope and Travis had to adjust the length of the ship's legs to compensate for it. He did a fine job at it, but the ramp leading from the cargo hold to the ground stood fragile, and every step we took down it made it shutter under our feet. It was probably the slowest descend to the ground ever made on foot. As I got closer to setting foot onto Dantooine, more and more fear grew inside me. Although the world which had once been home to me seemed odd and different, I was sure that once I set foot on it memories would come flooding back of my father and the pain I felt for years after his death. I quietly reassured myself that I would be fine; all I had to do was think of good memories. This was enough to keep me up when I set foot on the planet's surface.

I could feel the pain grow inside me, and tears welling at my eyes. But I kept it back and thought of all the times me and my father spent laughing back at the old homestead. Even though I was keeping it under control, from the corner of my eye I could see Shen looking at me with concern. I recovered myself in time to be greeted by a fair haired Jedi.

"Welcome back Travis. I see you found them without trouble." He said. I recognised him and his voice.

"Not entirely. I'll explain it to you in private." Travis beckoned for Shen and I to come forward and he introduced us to him.

"It's a pleasure to see you both. I'd be surprised if either of you two would remember me." He bowed to us. "I am Mical."

It was a short reunion. Once Travis had introduced us, Shen and I were ushered away from the two Jedi's to a small room. The woman who showed us the way was not much older than either of us, maybe 18. Despite her age, she had silver hair which trailed along behind her in a long plat. She introduced herself as Mara Onasi, and said if either one of us needed anything to give her a call from the Terminal at the far side of the room. Just before she left she suggested, mainly to Shen, that we get some sleep.

I sat on an auburn coloured sofa. Shen took a seat next to me, still distressed.

"Shen, she'll be alright." I said, trying to comfort him.

He nodded, "I know."

"So why are you upset?" I asked, confused.

He shrugged. "I've got to be honest with you Cakey. I don't know why. I know my mother will be alright, and I know we will get her back, but..." He stopped.

"But what?"

"I don't know." He threw his head back against the sofa as he continued, "there's a dark cloud hanging around, but I don't know..."

It took me a bit to get the metaphor. "Shen, it's going to be alright. We're going to get your mum back and then we're going to go back to the way things were. Just you, Mira and me."

Shen nodded, "I hope your right."

I did too.

"Anyway, we've got a day to kill before we get told anything. What do you suggest we do?" Shen asked, looking a bit happier than before.

"I suggest you get some sleep. You're a wreck."

"Speak for yourself." Shen took a small mirror off the table and held it in front of me. I could see that he was right. He put the mirror back and yawned. "I guess you're right." He sat closer to me and put his head on my shoulder. "Good night Cakey."

I looked at him as he slowly went to sleep. I must of drifted off as well for the next thing I knew, the room was pitch dark. An ominous glow from outside lit up the different shapes in the room. Sometime, when I was asleep, Shen must of found a blanket lying around somewhere and wrapped it around me. I looked around the room again, but there was no sight of him. There was another person in the room, I could hear their breathing.

"Hello?" I called, dazed, into the darkness.

No answer.

"This isn't funny Shen." I said as I reached for the lamp on the table beside me. I turned it on and the intensity temporarily blinded me. "Shen stop kidding around."

Once my eyes had adjusted I looked at the room around me. No one was there, not even Shen. I got up; keeping the blanket wrapped around me and proceeded over to the Terminal.

"Hello, this is Mara Onasi." I looked at her through the view screen. She looked as if she had just got out of bed.

"Hi, umm..." I hesitated for a moment but then continued, "Do you know where Pat is?"

"Do you mean your friend?" Mara asked, "There's no need to use your alias around me. I know who you are."

"Okay..."

"Don't worry!" She said in a tone that was almost mocking, "He's just at the mess hall."

I said thanks and turned off the Terminal. I sat back down on the sofa just as Shen walked through the door.

"Glad to see your up." He continued as he proceeded to take a seat in an arm chair across from me, "You slept for over 12 hours."

Shen took a sip from the cup he had brought with him. I could smell the vile smell of alcohol. "Please tell me your joking?"

Shen shook his head. "It's true. You slept like a baby."

I gave him a look of frustration. "You know what I mean."

He looked to the cup. "You mean this?" I nodded, slowly. "Come on Cakey! We both know I like to drink."

"But Shen, you don't get it?" I continued, "It's not that you like to drink; it's that you have a problem with drinking."

Shen and I turned our attention away from each other and to the door as it opened and closed. Travis walked through, excited and practically dancing. His skin seemed a brighter shade, despite the lack of light, and his eyes seemed to glow.

"Jakkie, I've got some great news!" He continued, "They've allowed me to take you on as an apprentice!"

Shen and I both looked to each other. I'm sure the look I saw on his face was the exact same as mine. "What? Cakey, a Jedi?"

Travis nodded. "Why not?"

Shen put the cup down and sat back in the seat before bursting out into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Travis asked. He was confused.

"Cakey... A Jedi?" His roar of laughter grew louder.

I gave him a grim look. "I haven't said yes yet."

"Yeah, but the prospect of it... It's just plain amusing!" He took a deep breath and started laughing again.

I turned my attention away from the laughing moron and to Travis who was still watching Shen. His look had changed from plain confusion to worry as well. "Is he going to be okay?" Travis asked me.

"Once I give him a shot to the head with a blaster..." I replied.

Shen got up, his laughing fit now over. "If you would excuse me, I need to use the 'fresher. I think I laughed too much." He proceeded to the small door at the other side of the room.

Travis took Shen's seat and asked me, "Why don't you want to retake your training?"

"It's been 5 years. I'm too old, aren't I?" I suddenly became aware of another person who'd just entered the room.

Mical took a seat on the sofa next to me. He was dressed in his Jedi robes. "Your mother started retraining at the age of 29."

I nodded. I knew that. "But she was a special case."

"Who's to say that you're not?" Mical continued, "Shen needs your help, as does Mira. We both know this. The best way of getting Mira back will be with Jedi training."

I looked to Travis who nodded. "Everyone who is trained in the force is a special case. Whether you save the entire galaxy or just your close friends. In the end you will touch the hearts of others."

"But..." I tried to think of the best way to put it, "What if I don't want to learn how to use the force again?"

Travis lowered his head and Mical sighed. "Then that is your choice." Mical patted me on the shoulder as he continued, "Do not make your decisions hastily. Take some time to think about it."

Both of the Jedi got up and left, leaving me and the cup of Shen's alcohol on the table alone in the room. Shen emerged from the refresher a short time later and took Mical's place next to me on the sofa. He put one hand on my shoulder. I turned to him and he could obviously see that I was crying. He pulled me close and hugged me.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to laugh at you." He told me quietly.

I nodded. "It's not that."

Shen stroked my hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The truth is I did. But I didn't know how to explain it. "No."

I eventually fell asleep in Shen's arms.