Most of my future chapters from here on out will be reflective journal entries. This is mostly because I'm lazy and don't feel like writing long stories for every single encounter.

Well, today was quite eventful.

We finally got out of the stupid forest, but before that, we ran into someone that claimed to be from "Team Aqua." They were trying to get something from a Devon worker and I had to defend him so they didn't get the "goods"…whatever those are. The guy then said something about looking for something in Rustboro. How stupid can you be to tell me your future plans?! Oh well; it was just further motivation to get to Rustboro.

I also decided to check out the trainer school to see if there was anything they could teach me, but I already know everything they taught there. I already know all about attacks, abilities and such due to my long hours of study. The only thing that was half decent was the battle strategy which was being taught by Roxanne herself, but it was still only basics. I made an appointment with her in one week's time to get ready for our battle.

I'm absolutely terrified. I did battle a couple of trainers while in the forest, but they were relatively easy wins thanks to Phorcys' current abilities which are far beyond the normal Mudkip's. Coeus told me he's been helping Professor Birch out for a couple of years, so he's extremely well-versed in battle tactics and other things. Of course, that knowledge won't necessarily translate well into my first gym battle as I have no real skills to speak of.

But I'm terrified that I'm going to lose. Even with as much experience as Phorcys has and my deep book knowledge, it probably won't translate into actual battle. It's not that I don't have faith in Phorcys and Coeus' abilities; it's that I have no faith in myself. I'm still absolutely petrified of Pokemon, yet here I am, about to face a Gym Leader in a week's time.

After talking to them, Coeus and Phorcys agreed to an ultimatum: if we lose this gym battle, we go home. I know it seems extremely cruel to them after all the training we're going to do in this next week, but they understand. After all of the difficulties I've faced, I've learned that there's far too many unknowns in this journey for me to be safe. The encounter with the Aqua member proved that there are forces far larger than myself and my team at work in this region and it's becoming dangerous. It might just be a better idea to go home and wait while League deals with those forces. I'm sick of living in fear, but my own personal safety is far more important than getting over that fear. I've made tremendous strides in the past week or so and I am proud of myself for it, but I still doubt in my ability to completely get over these feelings.

I hope things go well with Roxanne so I can continue journeying. Despite my fears of the unknown being so crippling, my desire to experience new things seems to be overriding that fear at least for the time being. It's really tearing me in half, to be quite honest. I'm sick of letting my fear rule my life and caution is good to an extent, but the way I handle things is extremely unhealthy. I've known it all my life, but actually getting motivation to overcome it has been more elusive than so-called legendary Pokemon.

I'm just rambling at this point, so I'm just going to go. I do have a lot of training to do, after all.