Psych. You get one more chapter today if I can manage to finish it and edit. This is a super awesome story but this is all I have for now, let me know if you really want another one, you have to review and tell me. I actually have inspiration for this story that I didn't have before. Alright though loves, I know you want to know what happens. So, enjoy!

Chapter 3 - Clary POV

"What the hell is that about," Izzy asked me. Everyone was staring at us, waiting for us to say something about the boys and their scene.

"Iz," I stutter out of my mouth. "I - uh - well - you know."

"Oh, honey," she said giving me a hug. "Tell me everything." The room was back to normal by now and everyone was back to drinking so I complied. I nodded my head but I wasn't going to allow myself to cry. I just hope I didn't ruin everything but doing what I did. "They would have gone to Jace's room, because that room is sound proof. But we can hear them if we sit in the bathroom next door."

I followed her upstairs, because I didn't trust myself to talk without crying I stayed completely silent.

We got upstairs and she locked the bathroom door behind her. "Is this about your crush on Jace? How did Jon find out?"

"He didn't, I think," I managed but it came out choppy.

All of a sudden, we heard something heavy slam against the wall in front of us, and then Jon was screaming. I could hear us words loud and clear, Izzy stood there in shock as my tears made their way out of my eyes and down my cheek. "I messed up everything, Iz. It's all my fault."

She shushed me and put her ear to the wall, the screaming was over but they were talking now. I could make out Jace's voice from the other end of the wall.

I mean, yes, fuck, I thought about her like that. My breath caught and Izzy was standing there speechless. I had to use a towel to dry my face because I knew that my crying has smeared all of my makeup. But she's too good for me, we heard next. Even if I could have her, I would never be good enough for her like that.

His words rang in my ears like a piercing scream. I was practically bawling now uncontrollably and Izzy was whispering sweet nothings in my ear so we could again.

After a few moments we heard Jon.

Jace Herondale doesn't do crushes, he has one-night stands.

That hit me the hardest, my brother was right. I have known Jace and the Lightwoods for forever, and I never stopped to see that he was only interested in one-night stands. I am literally the stupidest girl in the world to have been crushing on him practically my entire life. I feel so gross right now, like I could take a million showers and still not scrub off all of my stupidity. Izzy was trying to get me to calm down again because she wanted to hear again but I couldn't stop myself.

"I know it's hard right now, but just a few more moments, and then we'll cry together," she said. I nodded and closed my eyes, counting the seconds until I could drain the rest of the pain from my body. And then we heard it,

I'm done man, that's it for me. She's it for me.

I sat there in silence, I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I think I even started hyperventilating. We heard the door slam next to us and before we knew it, my brother was picking the lock on the bathroom door, "Dumb kids always lock this door," he muttered while the door flung open. Izzy made a noise that scared him enough to look up, and I was still sitting on the floor looking like a mess.

"Is there something wrong?" we heard from behind the door. Izzy shook her head and Jon caught on.

"No, I'm just gonna take a leak, I'll be down in a minute," Jon said to dismiss Jace. We heard his footsteps down the hall and I felt myself break on the inside. I curled my head in between my legs and pulled myself into a cocoon. Izzy started rubbing circles on my back again and Jon shut and relocked the door. "I think we need to have that conversation now, ClareBear."

"That's what you have to say right now," Izzy said trying to pull me up.

"I don't really do girl talk, but I need to know," he said calmly. "How long have you been in love with Jace, honestly?"

I refused to pick my head up from my knees so Izzy answered for me. "10 years, give or take."

"You WHAT?" he said clenching his fists on the counter. "I didn't know, he doesn't know. Clary he's a man-whore, he's literally the definition of a boy I should NOT let you be with. And you're telling me that you have had a crush on this guy since I have been his friend?!"

"Leave her alone Jon," Izzy said bitterly. "It's not like that."

"I asked my sister," he said sternly. Izzy stepped up to him and crossed her arms. This is why I love this girl.

"I'm fine," I say picking my head up. Izzy hands me the towel so I can fix my face and I look in the mirror. "I know it'll never happen. He won't want me when he's sober again, he's only saying those things because he is drunk right now. Even then, I'll just be the new flavor of the week."

"Clare-," Izzy tries to say. I look at my brother instead.

"I saw his eyes after he was done with those shots, and he was drunk before we even played," I started at him. "I wouldn't even doubt it if he forgot everything he said by morning. I'll just be a small little girl with a crush on Jace Herondale, and he'll be screwing two other girls by morning."

"You heard him," Jon said cutting me from my monologue. "You're it for him, Clary. He said it, and I don't like it. If you don't want me on your side then I'll never bring him around again. If you do than you need to get up and go get him, because he won't be the one to make the first move."

His words rang true to my ears. Jace isn't the type to make the first move, he never has been. He's also not the type to say "no" to a booty call though either.

"I just need to go back to the party," I said finally. "Forget that all of this didn't happen, because he doesn't want me, he won't even remember wanting me. I'm a big girl Jon and I've been dealing with this for a long time. I'll be fine."

"And if he does still want you by morning?" Jon asked blocking the door to the bathroom.

"Then do your brotherly job," I said.

"And if he hurts you," Jon asked grabbing the doorknob to unlock it.

"Then I'll hurt him twice as hard," I said keeping my stare perfectly threatening. Jon bows his head and opens the door for us to leave.

"I'm sorry you're hurting ClareBear," he said quietly. "Go show him what he's missing, just keep it PG-13 or under."

With a wink and a real smile on my face I decided that my life wasn't going to end yet. Jace doesn't know about my secret, but now I know his.