Edit: Please note that the bold text in this is just showing where it was edited so that people who read the original version can find it easier. It has nothing to do with anything other than that. Don't let it bug you.

{You know, I was having doubts about posting this because it's so weird . . . but, oh well. I've already put up two chapters and I have readers, so I guess that I'm pretty much committed . . .}

Before you read this chapter, please understand that this is where it starts getting weird. While this fic is written much more seriously than the majority of my other ones, it still has some weird-ass ideas in it. From here on out, have an open mind. This fic is going to be realistic in the way that it COULD happen, not in the way that it WOULD or is GOING TO happen. So please don't flame me saying that Billy would never do this. This is a fanfiction and for the sake of the fanfiction, this has to happen. Otherwise, it's just the first two chapters and there is no plot.

Thanks for reading my shit, now please continue and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own "Dr. Horrible" or any of the related characters. I wish I owned Billy, but I do not.

Chapter Three: Changed

Moist was called back to Billy's lab about a week later. He was hoping to find him relaxing and taking it relatively easy, but knew he wasn't going to before he even opened the door.

The door to the laboratory was open Billy was nowhere in sight. Moist helped himself to a can of soda pop that was sitting on the (now three-legged) coffee table before heading to the lab. He could just see the top of Billy's head on the other side of the big white board in the middle of the room. He knocked on the wall to announce his and Billy's face appeared for a second before hiding behind the board again.

"Be right with you, Moist. Just let me get my shirt on."

"Sure," Moist said, casually leaning against a stack of boxes in one of the corners of the room. The Doc was constantly doing whacky experiments, so Moist wasn't exactly concerned by him wandering around half naked. He was much more worried about the violent display of color that covered Billy's face and what he'd seen of his chest. There were yellow, purple, blue, green, and black bruises mixed in with an assortment of bright red scratches.

"How're you doin'?" He asked conversationally, opening his soda as Billy came around the corner. "Is your face--Christ! What the hell are those!?"

Billy grinned in an idiotic way, causing the bruises to pale in color. He patted his chest and said in a disturbingly proud way, "My newest creation."

"You gave yourself boobs." Moist said, his face a mix of disbelief and disgust as he stared at his friend's chest.

"Breasts, Moist, they're called breasts," Billy corrected him. Somehow he managed to maintain a serious disposition despite the new additions to his chest.

"Okay, but what in God's name made you put them there?"

"The plan." Billy said, grinning brightly. "It all makes perfect sense, actually." He turned the white board around, revealing a collection of photos of women and a news paper article. "See, this is how I'm going to get back what Captain Hammer stole from me."

He took a small red object from his pocket and held it up for Moist to see. "This is another part of the plan. It's a--dude, my eyes are up here."

"Sorry, man," Moist said, quickly snapping his head up to meet Billy's eyes. "But . . . are those real? They're not, are they?"

"What? Good God no!" Billy chuckled, lifting up his shirt to reveal what looked like a clear plastic tank top with a pair of fake breasts on it. "It's just a suit . . . thing."

"Oh, good . . . but what's that?" Moist asked, indicating what looked like a little purple disk between the breasts.

"This is a key part in the disguise," Billy explained. "It's a hologram. See?" He pressed a silver button on the disk. There was whirring noise, a beep, and then Billy's appearance changed rather dramatically.

To put it simply, his figure changed to that of a woman's. His features became more slender and rounder. His hands and feet became smaller and more delicate looking and, overall, he looked softer.

"So now I look much more female, but I only look that way . . . do you understand what I'm saying?" Billy asked.

"I think so," Moist mused. "Take your waist for example. Although it looks like a girl's, if someone were to hug you, it would feel like a guy's."

"Exactly."

"Nice," Moist said. "Very . . . feminine . . . but, I have a question. If you could just make yourself look like this, then why did you need the boobs?"

"Because the shirt would lie flat on my chest," Billy explained. "Because it would only look like I have boobs, and my chest would really be flat so the shirt would just lie flat."

"Then why don't you program the hologram to make it look like you're wearing a shirt?"

". . . Because the author didn't plan this out very well and is very tired," Billy snapped. "She just wants to get this chapter done with and move on with the plot. It's not really important how I look female, just that I do look female . . . which I do . . . and no one, not even Captain Hammer (who's dumb as toast), can tell the difference . . . you got it?"

"Yeah, I think so," Moist said. "Please, carry on with the plan."

"Right," Billy said, putting his shirt back down and taking out the red device again. It looked a lot like an MP3 player and, when Billy pressed a button a little piece of silver metal popped out of it.

"This is a voice changer. Observe," Billy put the silver metal piece to his throat, near his voice box, and flicked a switch on it. There was a little zapping noise and when Billy spoke again, it was in the voice of a young woman. "See? Twelve hours of this . . . not now, though. I set it to give me just five minutes worth for the first few times I used it."

Moist nodded slowly, still not quite taking it all in. "So, your boobs are great, your voice is scary, believable, but scary . . . what about your face?"

Billy smiled again and disappeared behind the board, reappearing with a wig and what appeared to be another piece of plastic. He handed Moist the wig and showed him the plastic. "For my face," he said in his natural voice, putting the plastic on his face.

It was a mask, and a really good one, too. It aligned perfectly with his face and fitted like a second layer of skin. Moist made a surprised noise. It did its job incredibly well. It not only changed the look of his face, but it also had some make up on it to make him completely unrecognizable.

"This way I won't have to paint a face on every day," Billy said happily, the mask moving with his jaw and lips. If Moist hadn't known it was a mask already, he would never had suspected it. Billy took the wig and put it on next. It was short and balck with a sort of punky style to it. Billy pulled and tugged on it to show how well it was stuck to his hair. It complimented his face beautifully and completed the disguise.

Billy zapped his voice box again, smiled sweetly, and spun around so Moist could see what he'd changed himself into. After he did his three-sixty turn, he put his hands on his chest and cocked his hip to the side, assumed a girlish pose and said, "Well? Say something!" In his adopted voice.

Moist stared for a few seconds before saying, "Congratulations. You're a drag queen."

Billy smacked his friend's shoulder and said, "I am not!"

"Okay, then what are you? A prostitute?"

"Excuse me? Where did you pull that out of?"

"Well, think about it. You're a gay prostitute. You disguise yourself as a woman to trick both straight and gay guys into hiring you. Means double the business," Moist shrugged. "It's how you think."

"How do you know how a gay prostitute thinks?" Billy asked suspiciously.

Moist remained silent.

"Anyway, this is how I'm going to infiltrate Hammer's defenses," Billy explained. "I'll--"

"Seduce him?"

"No, I'm--"

"Going to seduce a security guard!" Moist exclaimed, snapping his fingers as though he'd just answered the million dollar question.

"No!" Billy shouted, his artificial voice wearing off. "I'm going to disguise myself as one of his fans. He's giving a tour of his house this weekend. I've already got a ticket for it."

"But why a female fan?" Moist asked, not seeing his friend's logic.

Billy shrugged. "I dunno. Just seemed like a better idea, I guess."

"So you can seduce him?"

"Would you shut up?" Billy roared. "I am not going to seduce him! I'm just going to sneak around his house during the tour. . .what time is it?"

"What? Oh," Moist, caught off guard by the random question, checked his watch. "Almost noon. Why?"

"The tour starts in an hour!" Billy exclaimed. He grabbed a black sweatshirt and ran out of the lab, headed for the front door.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Moist asked, following him into the living room.

"The tour! I've only got two days--I've got to make them count!" Billy said, sliding the voice changer into the pocket of his jeans.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Moist said, grabbing his friend's arm and pulling him away from the door. he checked him over, taking in the sloppy T-shirt, baggy jeans, and frayed sweatshirt. "You can't parade around as a Captain Hammer groupie--"

"Fan."

"--Fan, whatever. My point is that you can't go out dressed like that!"

"Why not?" Billy asked, eager to be on his way. He would only have a few hours each day, which probably wouldn't be enough to search the entire house. In his mind he began planning where he would look first.

"Because then you'd look like a twisted guy who gave himself fake boobs--breasts, okay, breasts--and a mask in order to sedu--trick, in order to trick Captain Hammer."

"So do you want me to do? Get a whole new wardrobe?" Billy asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Moist grinned and took the car keys off the coffee table. "We can take Pink's car. I'll drive."