Hello! Wow, I was in such a slump for this story and then the chapter just decided to crank itself out today! I hope you like it. It gives some insight into how Anzu came about loving some of the characters. In fact, a majority of the following chapters are all going to follow this format. This one's main focus is Yugi, but the others are sure to come. Basically, you're getting plot and you get to read just what exactly Anzu is writing in that diary of hers.

Please, tell me what you think! Or if there's a line that stuck out to you, tell me! I like to know what strikes you as important or otherwise! Your opinions on different sections give me some insight as a writer as two where I'm going with these characters.

Enjoy!

Chapter 3: She Don't Want the World

The open wound she hides
She just keeps it bundled up
And never lets it show
She can't take much more of this
But she can't let it go
And that's ok, she don't want the world

~3 Doors Down

Dear Diary,

The first time I fell in love I was in elementary school and didn't really know what love meant. All I knew was that Mouto Yugi was one of the nicest boys in class, he had an amazing technique on the swingset, and his lunch always had the best pudding cups.

Back then, you could tell a lot about someone by their pudding cups.

Of course, continuing to be my friend when all the other boys said he'd catch cooties was a big plus in his case, too.

Sorano blinked at Anzu's request, brow shooting up in surprise. "You're sure you want to do this?"

Anzu nodded, expression firm and eyes determined. It had been just yesterday that she'd nearly been caught, and she'd decided that the quickest way to implement the change would be to come to school early this morning to speak with Sorano-the girl was infamous for being the first in class every morning-rather than walk with her friends like she usually did.

Sorano's gaze met hers for a handful of seconds before nodding, reclining back into her desk and closing her eyes. "Alright, then. Okay, so," Sorano peeked an eye open, lips curving up in a reluctant smile, "I suppose you'll be sitting with me at lunch today."

Anzu felt her shoulders sag, as though a weight had been lifted. She'd feared that Sorano wouldn't approve of her course of action, would call her a coward or accuse her of running away.

"Anzu," Sorano sighed, and Anzu realized she'd been speaking aloud, "there's a difference between running away and strategic retreat. Of which, you are doing the latter."

As Sorano finished her sentence people began entering the classroom, casting a few curious glances at the odd sight of perky Mazaki Anzu hovering in front of the desk of quiet Kyoko Sorano; who most avoided on principle thanks to her odd clothing choices.

Smirking, Sorano flashed gossipy onlookers a vicious grin, making them jump and turn away quickly. "I suggest you go sit in your seat. We wouldn't want to alarm the populace too much just yet, would we?"

Her broad smile having been automatically put in place at the appearance of others, Anzu nodded, and made her way to her seat.

Sorano watched her back as she went, an amused glint in her eyes. "What an interesting girl."

For a long time, we were the best of friends. I trusted Yugi like I'd never trusted anyone. We did everything together. The park was our haven, and every day was an adventure. I'll never forget when I was seven, and we went on a grand exploration of Yugi's attic for lost treasure.

We didn't find any lost treasure, but we did find something else. Yugi noticed a thin beam of light, from a small hole the ceiling. Looking at it, we thought it was just a hole to the outside. We shifted a box over for Yugi to stand on, so he could see through it. He'd reached up, pushing one little finger through the hole to get a grip and pull his face closer to see, only to gasp in amazement as a square patch in the ceiling gave way and swung down on rusted hinges from his pulling.

Like the excited little children we were, we were quick to climb through the square hatch. What we found was a room, square in shape, big enough for us to stand and still have four feet or so above our heads, and wide enough that we could easily stretch four of us across. Letting light into the room was a single window on the far side of the room; the only clue you'd ever have from the outside that the room was even there.

Yugi and I kept this room a secret for the two of us. From then on, every time I stayed the night we'd sneak up there with sleeping bags, flashlights, and books of fairytales and adventure.

We called it the Pavilion, though to be honest I don't think either of us knew what a pavilion even was. It sounded neat, and that was all that mattered. For years, Yugi and I snuck away to the Pavilion, until we entered middle school. It was then that I moved with my family, and when we returned a few years later Yugi and I had drifted apart. By then, high school had started and this entire mess with the Millennium Puzzle and other items began. We became close again, of course, but Yugi and I never revisited the Pavilion. He didn't say anything, and I never asked either. Perhaps because I was afraid he wouldn't agree to visit it.

Part of me wonders if he still goes up there, sometimes. Or maybe he's shown it to someone else, by now. I admit, the thought makes me unhappy. It's Yugi's house…but my heart tells me that the Pavilion was ours.

Of course, he could have just forgotten it's there at all.

School began for the day. She greeted her friends, like normal. She laughed with them between classes, like normal. She smiled, like normal.

It was during lunch that everything began to change.

"Hey, guys?" she asked as the group began its trot towards the cafeteria.

"Yeah, Anzu?" Jou uncurled himself from his usual slouch to give her attention, hands remaining in his uniform pants pocket.

She slipped an apologetic smile onto her face. "I'm afraid I won't be able to sit with you guys today. A new friend of mine wants to spend some time getting to know each other better, and asked if I'd join her." Simple, easy, believable. "None of you mind, do you?"

"It's fine, Anzu," Yami said, smiling in her direction.

Bakura rolled his eyes exasperatedly, "Do what you want, Mazaki."

She shot one last questioning look at Yugi, who grinned cutely and said, "Go ahead Anzu, we'll be okay without you for the day." Other members of the group who had yet to speak murmured their agreement.

"Oh, okay then! Thanks," she laughed turning her face away where none could see it. Her mask, which had become progressively harder to force up, had slipped enough that her smile was strained on her lips.

How silly, that for a moment a part of her had hoped one of them might protest her leaving. She knew Yugi had said they'd be fine without her for the day, and that he hadn't said they didn't need her period…

But in the corner of her mind, she couldn't help drawing the comparison.

Yugi was the one who gave me my interest in dance. It was a rainy day, I remember, and we'd decided to watch TV just for something to do. We were watching a ballet. I can't remember which one, as my memories constantly feud over whether it was The Nutcracker or Swan Lake.

I hopped of Yugi's couch, proclaiming a need to dance like the pretty girls on the screen were. I did some twirls, a few clumsy pirouettes. From the couch, Yugi clapped for me.

"Amazing! You look just like the girls on TV!" he'd said. It was his next line, however, that made me stop and think. "You look like you're having fun!"

I paused mid-twirl, repeating his sentence in my mind before smiling. "Yeah, I am."

Anzu separated from the group upon entering the cafeteria with a small wave, looking about for her new lunch-mate. Sorano sat a circular table about five away from her usual, picking at her tray; a paperback book held open on the table before her.

Swiftly approaching the table, she pulled out her box lunch and placed it on the faux grain surface. She pulled the chair to Sorano's left out and seated herself. Murmuring under her breath, she opened her lunch's lid and helped herself.

"Welcome to the table," Sorano muttered, never looking up from her book. "I take it you had no issues getting here, then?"

"Not one," she answered, nibbling a strip of chicken. Her mind responded to Sorano's presence without prompting, dropping the forcefully serene expression she knew the other girl wouldn't put up with.

Finally lifting her gaze from her book, Sorano swept her eyes over Anzu's face. "This bothers you?" She didn't sound surprised.

Anzu shrugged. "Not really." When Sorano continued to stare, Anzu sighed, rolling her eyes and turning slightly away. "Okay, maybe it does, a little."

"A little," Sorano hummed, and said no more.

Anzu paused her eating, eyes fixated on the riceball held inches in front of her mouth. Sighing once more, silently this time, she set the foodstuff down and dropped her chin. "A lot."

Sorano's hand cupped the side of Anzu's face, lifting her head and turning it so they met eye to eye. "Tell me."

Anzu's lids fell, blocking her sight as she pressed herself into Sorano's palm. There was something about Sorano that reminded her eerily of a mother sometimes, like right now. Then there was the Sorano of yesterday, who watched movies and laughed that reminded her of close girl-friend or sister. She wondered how many other sides of Sorano there were that she'd get to see.

Half of Anzu didn't want to tell Sorano anything. This half insisted that Sorano didn't need to know what she was thinking. She hadn't cut, and that was all that mattered, right? Informing her of anything else was unnecessary.

Then the other half chimed in that yes, it was necessary. It didn't matter that she hadn't cut yesterday. She could gain the urge to cut today, or tomorrow, or who knew when. One battle didn't win a war. If talking to Sorano about things helped, then she would do it. If it helped her to get over this (themthemthem) she would do it. Hadn't she promised herself at least that? Anzu sighed eyes opening once more.

She didn't want to hurt anymore.

"I guess, I just kind of hoped that…," Anzu whispered.

"That they'd stop you?" Sorano finished. "That they'd ask you to stay?"

Anzu shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. But…at the same time, I'm a little…relieved? That they didn't."

"Anzu," Sorano said, "there's something you're going to have to understand. With the situation you're in, there are always going to be two sides. Part of you will always want to hide everything, and the other part will want to share everything. Your job is to find a balance between the two that works for you. I don't expect you to, nor do I want you to tell me everything. There are just some aspects of this that you have to figure out for yourself. I can't give you all the answers."

"Why not?" she replied.

Sorano's lips twitched into a minute smile. "There are things that if I told you them right off, you'd never really understand what I was trying to tell you. These are things that only you can learn. Especially pertaining to them," Sorano's eyes flickered to the side, and Anzu knew exactly who she was talking about.

The bell rang then, and Sorano removed her hand from Anzu's face. "Do you understand, Anzu?"

She smiled, small, but genuine. "Yes."

When we were little, Yugi used to call me a nickname. Zu-Zu. I can still hear him, every now and then.

"Zu-Zu, come on!"

"Zu-Zu, that's silly!"

"You're so nice, Zu-Zu!"

Since I moved back to Domino, and Yugi and I drifted, he hasn't called me that.

I miss it, sometimes.

Anzu met up with the group in the hallway back to class, automatic smile in place. "Hey guys, have a nice lunch?"

"Yeah," Jou groaned, rubbing a hand over his stomach. "Yum!"

A few chuckles and rolled eyes traversed the group. Ryou, ever polite, asked, "And your lunch, Anzu? I noticed," his tone because slightly curious, "that you were sitting with Kyoko Sorano?"

Anzu blinked, as suddenly everyone in the group seemed to be paying attention to her answer, even the ones she was certain were usually more tolerant of her than accepting (Marik, Bakura).

She stopped walking, the rest doing so as well with interested expressions. A picture of Sorano appeared in her mind's eye, and her masked slipped until only a real, barely there smile and shadowed eyes remained. Meeting the gaze of the person nearest her, she looked Yugi in the eyes without a mask to hide behind for the first time in a long time, and said, "Yeah, I think she and I will be seeing each other a whole lot more often now."

Then the mask returned, and she walked ahead of them.

I had a nickname for Yugi, too. Yu-chan. My Yu-chan, specifically. There were times in our journeys that, while he was in the middle of a battle or about to face a challenge that I wanted to call him that. Just to see what he'd do. I miss being able to say it to him. I wonder if he misses it too? Does he ever wish I'd come up to him and say, "Good morning, Yu-chan!" like I wish he'd call me Zu-Zu?

Of course, it could just be something else that he might have forgotten.

A brand new morning shines
As she wakes up alone again
This time to face the day
She swears there's time to make it
As she simply walks away
And it's ok, she don't want the world

~3 Doors Down

Thank you for reading! Please review!