Chapter 3
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Resplendent in her formal senatorial robes, Padme stood silently and stoically by Anakin's side as speech after speech was made honoring the life and accomplishments of the late Obi-Wan Kenobi. As far as Padme could ascertain, nearly every Jedi that was on planet seemed to have something good to say about Obi-Wan.
She was so caught up in her own memories of her friend that she barely heard a word of what was said. The last three days had proven to be both mentally and physically exhausting. She used every ounce of strength she had just to make it through each hour.
Despite her own feelings, Padme knew that it was so much worse for Anakin. He was tormented with guilt and drowning in anguish over what he had decided was his own failure. His mind was consumed with thoughts of what he could have or should have done that might have saved Obi-Wan's life. Padme offered him what comfort she could; when she could.
After their first night in the Hall of Remembrance, Anakin forced her to go back to their apartment and rest. She only agreed after realizing he could feel her weariness and it was weakening him. After a gentle embrace and a promise to return to his side, she'd leaned down and placed a soft kiss against Obi-Wan's cheek.
"Rest well, my friend," she whispered.
She returned home to an empty apartment, walking aimlessly from room to room trying to quiet her mind enough to get a little sleep. It was then that she realized she had completely forgotten about the life she carried in her womb. She'd only recently discovered that she was carrying Anakin's child, and she was ecstatic, if a bit worried about the reactions of certain people.
A hint of a smile tugged at her lips as she gently rubbed her stomach.
"You will help daddy to go on, little one," she whispered. She crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep. She returned to Anakin's side a few hours later as promised.
/
Anakin remained impassive as the last speech was given. He had requested that he be allowed to light the pyre when the time came. Now that the moment was upon him, he hesitated as he lifted the torch and stepped next to the pyre. He set his blue eyes onto the serene face of the only father he'd ever known.
Padmé's eyes watered and her tears fell as she saw her husband struggle with himself. She stepped slightly forward and placed her hand on his shoulder, lending whatever support she could. As she felt his shoulder slump a bit as his tension released, an old Nubian blessing her mother had recited to her and her sister when they were children came unbidden to her mind.
"May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May the gods hold you in their gentle embrace," she whispered as Anakin finally held the torch forward and lit the pyre.
He stepped back and starred into the flames, remembering the first time he'd met Obi-Wan. He remembered how in awe he was of the young man; still innocently believing it was impossible to kill a Jedi.
He replayed the events of their lives together from his childhood up until their last fateful journey. He replayed the good times, the bad times, and the gray hairs Obi-Wan blamed on him. He couldn't believe how quickly time flew and now Obi-Wan was gone forever.
As the fire consumed Obi-Wan's body, Anakin recalled a prayer that he had been taught during his first few days in the Jedi Temple. Obi-Wan had taken him into the Archives and showed him the ancient text that came from Obi-Wan's home planet of Wukkar. Years later, he still recalled the words of the prayer that Wukkaran Jedi lived by as much, if not more than the Jedi Code itself.
As the other Jedi and the Senate delegation began to file from the room, Anakin closed his eyes and began to speak softly.
""Force, make us instruments of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let us sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that we may not so much
seek to be consoled as to console,
not so much to be understood as to understand,
not so much to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
it is in dying that we awake to eternal life," Anakin finished quietly as the last of the body of Obi-Wan Kenobi disappeared into the flames; into the comforting arms of the Force.
When the last ember finally died, Padme took his arm and gently lead him out of the Hall of Remembrance for the first time since he'd entered it three days before. His final duty to his former master had been fulfilled.
He paused as they reached the exit and turned back to take one last look around. The walls of the hall held all of the names and small plaques with the faces of every Jedi that had died in the line of duty since the inception of the Jedi Order. Anakin's eyes focused on the newest of the plaques; Obi-Wan's.
"I'll miss you," he whispered before turning away and leading Padme from the room; from the Temple itself.
/
Back at their apartment, Anakin collapsed on the sofa. Padme sat next to him and gently caressed his cheek.
"You should rest," she said softly. "You're exhausted. You need to get some sleep and let your body recover."
"Later," he replied. "I need to talk to you about something first."
He took a deep breath, looking deeply into her eyes. "I've decided to leave the Jedi Order," he said quietly, waiting for her reaction.
"What?" Padme gasped in shock. "Anakin, you can't..."
"I have to," he interjected immediately. "I failed Obi-Wan. I failed the Jedi."
His shoulders slumped dejectedly. "You're all I have left, Padme. I won't fail you by going off and getting myself killed."
"Oh, Anakin," she said as she rubbed his shoulders, knowing better than to try and argue with him.
"You have more than you realize."
His eyes met hers in confusion.
"Ani," she began as she took his hand and put it over her slightly protruding stomach. "I'm pregnant."
She could see the shock, disbelief and even the barest hint of joy as each emotion crossed his face.
"That's...that's... that's wonderful," he stammered, taking her into his arms and holding her tightly. She could feel fresh tears falling into her hair.
"It'll be alright," she soothed by rubbing his back in gentle circles and whispering comforting words. "Somehow, it'll be alright."
They held each other for an indeterminable time before Anakin lifted his head and gazed at Padme. Her deep brandy brown eyes held him under their captive spell.
"I still have to leave the Jedi," he stated. "I can't go back, not now."
Padme nodded. "We can go to Naboo, have the baby and grow old together."
Anakin smiled. "What about the Senate?" he wondered. "You love your work. I can't imagine you simply walking away."
Padme shrugged. "I doubt the Queen will allow me to continue to serve once she finds out I'm pregnant."
"And married," Anakin added. "I'm tired of all this hiding. It's time the Jedi and the Senate know we're married."
"You'll be expelled," Padme reminded him.
"I'm leaving anyway. It doesn't really matter how," he sighed, resigned in his decision. "But I would like to visit Wukkar first, before we go home to Naboo."
Padme frowned. "Wukkar? I've never heard of it."
"It's in the Outer Rim, not too far from Tatooine actually. Obi-Wan was born there," he explained, looking at her hopefully.
"He has a brother. I want to tell him...," he looked away. "I want to say good-bye...," his voice trailed off.
"Of course we'll go," Padme agreed.
Anakin took a deep breath and stood up, reaching for Padmé's hand and pulling her up with him. "I'll meet with the Council in the morning. For now, let's try and get some rest."
