DISCLAIMER: i do not own Sailor Moon

SERENA'S P.O.V

They were upset with me, to put it mildly, it wasn't that i had told them all to burn in hell, but the tone that i had used. That's what my 'friends' told me anyway, i was told not to believe them, and did that exactly. Rena was never one to lie and i had no doubts that her intentions were good, but even though i had ignored them for almost a week now, they were being persistent.

Why did they need to bother me? i just want to be alone, void of all the fake laughter and smiles, no more pretending. But this will never happen, i can ignored my 'friends' forever, but i keep seeing him almost everywhere. I would rather stick pins in my eyes, then have another conversation with him, once every 10 years is almost to much to handle.

I remember the first time he spoke to me, just after i was let out of the hospital. Andrew wasn't with me then, he had to work, all i did was walk down the street, my legs were still unsteady beneath me, and all my bruises and scars were covered, i had bumped into him, and that was all. He had called me an idiot, and told me to watch where i was going, back then i apologised to people. But i guess that just shows how long ago it really was.

Rena started to yell again, but secretly i was starting to miss my 'friends' they don't know me at all, but around them i can pretend to be the person i once was, or at least tried to be. My hands are shaky, i hate to think about the past, the bad memories are the one that i seem to remember clearly, but they are usually followed by happy memories of him, which makes the pain worth it.

I miss him. Alot more then i should, i know its not normal after all these years, but how can i not? he was like my brother, he protected me from things, but mainly he protected me from myself.

If i told me friends how close to him i was, i think they might understand, but this is all crazy talk, Rena keeps telling me, i know she is right, shes the only one who understands me, and shes not even real.

"Look" she laughed, i tried to find what interested Rena so much, it was him again, but she wasn't even looking directly at him, i wish i could see what she See's, then i might understand a bit more.

"Serena" Darien said

"What happened to meatball head? or idiot?" i snapped

"we gotta go" Rena said

"why?" i thought

"trust me" Rena replied

"I have to go..i would say its nice talking to you..but we both know that's a lie" i hissed, i walked straight passed him, ignoring his pleading eyes, i knew he wanted to talk to me, but that never ended well in the past.

Why does he have to make it difficult, i know Andrew was his best friend, but hes still the same jackass, i know he is, Rena agreed with me, she continued to laugh evilly, i started to feel strange, i miss Serenity.

I don't know what lead me here, Rena kept telling me to turn back, but i couldn't, i needed to see my friends, to tell them who i am, just so they can reject me like everyone else, at least then i may not feel so guilty.

The temple is beginning to look more beautiful. This thought makes me realise i sound like Serenity, i don't like it at all, and neither does Rena, i sound crazy, maybe that's the problem all these years. My father hated me because i was crazy, it sounds so right, it was my fault all along, i don't want to see them anymore, i deserve to feel guilty, Rena smiles, i have come to the conclusion myself, without her having to tell me.

This feeling is following me everywhere, even now, as i sit in my living room, watching Luna and Artemis, the turtles, i still feeling guilty. I shouldn't be here, this is his apartment, Andrew should be here watching them, not me, i was always going to die young, even if i was the one responsible for it. I smile, they are so peaceful, completely oblivious to everything else around them, even me. But then i guess that normal for a pair of turtles.

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A/N: please review~!