A knock on my door the next morning brought me out of a fitful sleep. All night I kept thinking of how I was going to break the news to my parents. They would be so disappointed, Lucy would be angry, and Matt would be devastated. The twins are probably used to weird stuff like this happening to our family.

"Ruthie! Are you up?" It was already noon.

"Yes," I mumbled, pulling myself to a sitting position. I had my first doctor's appointment today that I had made last night. Simon was driving me. After putting on jeans and a plain black t-shirt, I went into the bathroom with my brush, trying to at least make my hair presentable. Brushing my teeth and finishing my make-up, I come unto the kitchen to find Simon putting away his breakfast dishes.

"I made eggs if you want any."

I made a disgusted face and shook my head, "Not hungry," I mumbled.

He put the plates away in the dishwasher and sat back down with his cup of coffee. I poured myself a cup and sat down across from him, flipping through the newspaper.

"No way- give me that." Simon reached over and pulled my mug out of my hand.

"Hey! Come on!" I reached across the table just as Simon stood up and poured it down the sink.

"Well now you're just wasting good coffee, Simon!"

"You're not allowed to drink coffee Ruthie." He smirked.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Mature."

"Thanks."

He checked his watch and dumped his cup out into the sink, "We have to go Ruthie. Come on."

"Okay okay calm down- I'm not a child."

"Yeah but you're having one and you're about to miss your appointment!"

I chose to ignore him.

We throw our shoes on and run down the steps to his car.

Finally we pulled into the hospital parking lot and quickly walk across the crowded tarmac ad onto the elevators. As the doors open to the fifth floor, my pulse quickens.

I could feel my heart pounding as I walked into the crowded waiting room. I stopped in the doorway and Simon put a hand on my back to gently push me forward towards the front desk. I watched as he sat down in a chair, then I turned back towards the desk. I was certain I could feel eyes boring into my back.

"You're name honey?"

The receptionist's voice pulled me out of my paranoia and I stammered, "Um, Ruthie Camden for Dr. Adams."

The woman found my name on a list, looked up at me, and smiled, "He'll be right with you, if you wouldn't mind taking a seat until we call you?"

I smiled, "Thank you."

I go back and sit next to Simon in a chair.

"What time is it?" I asked him and he looked at his watch.

"12:55"

Only a five-minute wait. I wanted more time. I sit twiddling my thumbs, heart pounding out of my chest. I'm sure everyone can hear it. I look around but no one seems to notice.

"Simon," I whisper. I don't know why I'm whispering. The room is really quiet. A woman looks up at me and I can imagine her judging my age. I look away quickly, face reddening.

He turns to me.

"Can you hear my heart?"

He laughs, "No. Why? Are you nervous?"

My eyes widen, "Wouldn't you be?"

"It'll be fine Ruthie. What are you so worried about anyway?"

I think. I don't know. I turn back to stare at the hallway of patient rooms, silent. Simon goes back to staring at the clock.

Finally, a man walks to the doorway leading from the waiting room to the hallway of rooms. "Ruthie Camden?"

I internally wince as the rest of the women look around, waiting to see who stands up.

"Good luck." Simon whispered.

I stand up and follow Dr. Adams to the first room on the left.

"Hi Ruthie! How are you? I'm Dr. Adams. Nice to meet you!" He shook my hand. He was very enthusiastic.

"Fine thanks, nice to meet you too."

"If you could just take a seat on the chair, I'm going to ask you some questions."

I sit in the chair in the middle of the room. I think it's a dentist's chair.

"So, Ruthie," He swivels on his stool, clipboard in hand and smiles, "I just want to make sure that we have all of your information correct." He hands me a sheet with my medical information and, looking it over, I nod.

"Great." He puts the sheet back into my file and clicks his pen.

"So now I'm just going to have you lie back and we'll check out what happening in there. Sounds good?" She smiled as she set up her computer equipment.

I nod as I lie down flat on the little bed. I pulled back my shirt, feeling exposed. I felt exposed not only physically, but stripped emotionally. I had no protection here. There was no more ignoring what was really happening here. I try to regulate my breathing, both to prevent myself from passing out and from crying, perhaps at the same time.

Dr. Adams turned back around and squirted blue gel onto my abdomen. I couldn't feel the cold though. I was too focused on the screen to my right. Watching as the picture navigated inside of me, the doctor finally came to rest on a single spot on my stomach.

"There's the head, Ruthie." He swiveled his controller again, "and here is a side profile of your baby!"

I just stared at it. That was my baby. My child.

"So judging by the information you gave me and the relative size of the fetus, I'd say that you are about 13 weeks pregnant."

I nodded, eyes still glued to the screen. I already knew all this.

He continued to explain what I was seeing on the monitor but I could barely follow. I was transfixed by the image on the little screen. With it's tiny little nose, the profile that outlines its little legs, face, and belly. There are no words to describe the terrifying, amazing feeling that overcomes me.

"Now I can tell you the gender now, but the gender is more easily determined between 18 and 22 weeks gestation. Would you like to know the gender?"

My heart skipped a beat. I looked at over at his face, pen poised above his clipboard.

I nodded.