Disclaimer - Unfortunately I'm not Stephanie Meyer so I don't own Twilight; everything belongs to her, apart from the story line.

Summary: Edward and Bella are secretly dating, but they're from different cliques. He's popular and she's not. Edward bullies Bella in school but acts like a lover after school."You're ashamed of me, ashamed of us." What happens when Bella gets tired of this?

The Way I Loved You

In My Head

Songs;

Alphabeat- The spell

When I finally got to science Alice and Rosalie where already there sitting in their seats with their heads together, as I got closer I could hear their hushed whispers. I slammed my books down on the desk to make it known to them that I was standing right here and they both looked up with guilty looks on their faces and smiled nervously.

"Ah, Bella. I um, didn't notice you standing there"

I raised an eyebrow "please feel free to continue your conversation. You two looked very cosy"

Rosalie laughed a little "well I was just saying to Alice that Edward seemed to rush out after you pretty quickly. So is there anything we should know?"

I huffed and slumped down into my seat. "How many times? There's nothing going on with me and Edward!" I folded my arms over my chest and blew a stray piece of hair out of my face. "Besides, I don't like him" at least that was what I was trying to convince myself at the moment. But he was making it very difficult. I mean what was wrong with me? I had heard him talking to his barbie. . . er, I mean girlfriend about how much of a freak I was and I still couldn't help but find him irresistible. Damn me and my girly hormones. All he had to do was smile that panty dropping smile and I was practically a pile of mush on the ground. God help me.

My thoughts must have been written all over my face because Rose looked at me with a grin on her face while Alice giggled "Really?"

I gritted my teeth together "Yes. Really." Maybe . . . No? Damn.

I could tell that Rose was about to say something else but Mr. Banner walked in and announced that the lesson had begun. I suppose she'd have to wait until after school to harass me. Joy.

After science I contemplated skipping when I realised that I had gym next. I was even more dreading gym when I realised that I had gym with Edward. Please God, just kill me now? Apparently god was listening to me because just as I finished my plea I was pushed in to a wall. A very hard, very warm wall. Wait. . Warm? Walls aren't warm and I'm pretty sure that they don't smell delicious or wear designer shirts. I looked up to see who I had been pushed into and apparently god was trying to make me die of embarrassment. I looked up in to the most beautiful eyes that I had ever seen. They where an emerald green colour and they had a gold-ish colour around the edges. Beautiful. I snapped out of my trance when I heard a husky laugh. I finally looked right at his god like face and was drawn to the smirk on his lips.

"Beautiful? I've never had that one before" he said in his velvet toned voice.

What? Did I say that out loud? "Shit." I blushed and looked down at my feet.

He didn't say anything he simply chuckled and pulled my face up so that my eyes met his. He ran his hand softly down the side of my face and brought his face so he was in kissing distance of mine. I glanced down at his lips and bit my lip. "You are, Bella, Bella." I looked at him in confusion as his he straightened up and looked down at me with a small smile on his face. Of course I was Bella, that was my name.

"Huh?" He didn't say anything though. He simply winked and carried on down the hall as if nothing happened. I stared after him confused, didn't he have gym? But then I heard something, something terrible.

"EDDIE!" The loud window breaking voice pierced my ear drums. I breathed out slowly as I came back down to earth. I was nothing to him. I shook my head and carried on to Gym.

Luckily for me Rose and Alice got held back after the bell. Apparently you weren't allowed to knee a guy in the junk for slapping your ass and apparently you weren't suppose to encourage someone to knee them in the junk but Rosalie was adamant that it was part of her rights as a woman. When Emmett told me what she had done I laughed, that was so Rose.

After school Alice and Rose showed up with what looked like the whole mall and announced that we were going to Emmett's party. Emmett was Edwards's best friend so he would be there and his groupies would probably follow him so that meant that not only did I have to put up with them in school but now I had to put up with them after school.

I sat in my chair and didn't whine in the slightest as they buffed and polished every inch of me in an attempt to make me beautiful. I knew that no amount of makeup would make me beautiful but I didn't say anything because I really wasn't in the mood for another one of their speeches and I really just wanted to get this night over with. When they were finally finished I was shocked when I looked in the mirror and saw myself. I didn't want to admit it but I looked pretty. I thanked them and waited for them to get ready then we were on our way out. I yelled a quick good bye to Charlie and we all pilled in to Alice's car.

When we arrived at Emmett's house you could practically see the house shaking. The music was blaring and you could hear it as soon as you pulled up into the drive. We all laughed Emmett was an only child and his mum was travelling most of the time so he was pretty spoilt, he always threw the craziest parties. As soon as we walked in Emmett swept Rose in to his arms and practically shoved his tongue down her throat. Me and Alice looked at each other and shoved our fingers down our throats. I heard a chuckle behind me, the same chuckle that's been following me for the whole day. I looked at Alice for help but she said she was going to look for jasper and winked at me as she pranced of into the crowed. I glared at her retreating form and made a mental note to burn her whole wardrobe later.

I could feel him looking at me, I pictured him standing there in his god like glory just staring at my back waiting, urging me to turn around and meet his intoxicating gaze. I knew I couldn't look in to his eyes, it was too dangerous. He was like a villain from a children's story, once you looked in to his eyes and you'd turn to a pile of mush. But I'm pretty sure that the villains in children's stories don't look half as good as him and I'm pretty sure that their voices don't make you want to mount them. If they did that would be highly inappropriate but I'm sure that the mums would enjoy it. Anyway enough day dreaming, it was time to face the inevitable.

"Hey, Edward" I said as I nervously fidgeted with the ring on my left hand.

"Hello" he smiled.

He didn't say anything else after that, he just lent against the door frame and stared at me. The way he stared at me made me nervous. His eyes looked me up and down and lingered for just a little too long on my chest. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked down. After a minute I looked back up to see if he had moved but he was still there, still lent up against the door frame looking as sinful as ever. I bit my bottom lip and his eyes flashed to my mouth. His gaze remained on my mouth; I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth and bit down on it again. I darted my eyes around the room to find someone who I could talk with so that I could escape. My eyes landed on Angela who was over near the punch bowl and just as I was about to move I felt a hand on my face, I looked up in to his eyes and I was trapped. His eyes held mine and I didn't think that I could move even if I wanted to. I felt his thumb pull my lip out of my mouth. I ran my tongue over my now swollen lip and he groaned.

"Bella" he breathed.

He lowered his face so that it was only a few inches away from mine and I gasped. His eyes were pitch black. I could fell his hot breath on my face, his tongue darted out of his mouth and swept across his bottom lip, his teeth came down on his bottom lip and bit down hard as he groaned. I watched as his eyes darted around the room. Was he looking for someone? All of a sudden I felt myself being pulled into a room. I let go of the breath I had been holding as I felt my back slam against the back of a door and I saw his hands land on either side of my head pinning me to the door.

His nose skimmed down the side of my neck and I felt his lips brush against my collarbone. His lips stayed at the base of my throat for a while. I thought that I was going to pass out when I felt him press a kiss to the base of my throat, his lips lingered there for a moment and then he made a trail of little butterfly kisses all the way up to the corner of my mouth. I held my breath. Was he going to kiss me? I clenched my eyes shut and I felt him tense up. He placed a single kiss at the corner of my mouth and then all of a sudden he flew out of the door and I was alone. Alone. All of a sudden it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and I fell to the ground and held my knees close to me. I rested my forehead on my knees and let the tears come rushing out; I shivered as I sobbed on the floor by myself.

When Alice and Rose found me curled up on the floor with a tear stained face they demanded answers and I didn't have the energy to fight them so I told them everything. I told them about the first time I met him at Alice's' house, I told them about the first day of school. The conversation I had with him in the hall and the conversation that I had heard. I told them about what had happened when he rushed after me at lunch and I told them about what had just happened. I told them everything. By the time I had finished they both looked ready to explode but I begged them not to say anything and because they where my best friends they respected my wishes and promised not to do anything but they demanded that I had to tell them if anything else happened. And because I was there best friend I agreed and promised to do so.

When the party finished Rose decided to stay behind with Emmett and Alice decided to go home with Jasper, I could tell that they both fell guilty ditching me but I told them to go and said that I'd catch a ride home with Angela. After I promised that I call them as soon as I got home they agreed and went off with their other half's. I gave myself a once over in the mirror and decided that I was suitable so I went down stairs to look for Angela. I couldn't find her anywhere so I asked Ben if he'd seen her and he said that she had already left. I thanked him and walked off, looked like I'd be walking home then. Great.

On my way home I wrapped my jacket around me tightly to protect myself from the wind and glanced around every 5 minutes to make sure that I wasn't being followed. For some reason I had a funny feeling in my stomach and the hairs on my arm pricked up. I let out a high pitched scream when i heard someone behind me but my scream was silenced when a had clamped over my mouth and I felt my back hit the wall.

"Shhhh!" I heard someone trying to hush me and I looked up into a pair of eyes that I'd recognise anywhere.

"Edward?" I was confused why was Edward doing this to me and why did he reek of alcohol. "Have you been drinking?" I could practically here the disapproval in my voice as I scrunched up my nose and look at him in disgust. "You stink."

He looked hurt. "Only a little bit" he said as he held up his hand and made a little gap with his thumb and forefinger.

I don't drink but I'm not stupid I knew that he must have had alot more than that seeing the state that he was in. "Edward" I raised my eyebrow in a questioning manner, "really?"

He looked at the floor in a way that a small child would if they were getting scolded and shrugged his shoulders.

I looked at him for a moment trying to think of a way ask him what I'd wanted to ask him since earlier. I couldn't think of a sensible way to say what I wanted to say. Either way I would sound as if I liked him and I really didn't want him to know that, I didn't what to give him that gratification because then he'd just use it in his favour. So I just said it.

"Why didn't you kiss me earlier?" I whispered as if, if I said it quietly he might not hear it and I could just say at least I asked. But to my disappointment he heard the question. He looked up into my eyes, and opened his mouth to answer the question, but did I want to know the answer?

Authors Note; Thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous chapters. And sorry that I haven't updated recently I've had a bit of writers block but the other night when I was watching 'Grease' an idea popped in to my head. That a bit random I know but anyway, please review I like to hear your opinions and feedback and if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask. Until next time . . .

-Lauren x

Review please x