When reading this chapter I suggest listening to the song "I'll be" by Edwin McCain :)
Liam POV
Ive been home for four hours. Its been four hours since I last saw Lilly. And at least another two hours before she comes over. I cant take this. This feeling that I know she is down the street from me. Only a five-minute drive away and yet im not with her. Why am I not by her side making up for every lost minute. I need to be with her. Just as im thinking this my mum walks in. "hey mum"
"hey honey! We are gonna make chili does lilly want to come eat?"
"yes, yes she does."
"oh you already asked her?"
"no haha but im ermm her best friend and I know she will want to because she loves your chili."
"haha ok liam itll be ready in about a half hour"
I grab my phone and dial lilly.
She is on her way now haha this is perfect. 10 minutes later she is at my bedroom door. "hey there loner boy, why aren't you socializing with the family?"
"hey" my face lights up "cause I was calculating the ratio of minutes to days to make up for being gone"
"oh yeah" she says while sitting down on my bed "and what did you come to"
"too many" I say as I turn up Pandora and walk to my closet. I pretend to be looking for a sweater but im not. I walk and sneak up behind lilly and jump onto the bed and grab her around the waste and pull her down onto the bed and begin to tickle her. "NO liam STOP" she screams in-between laughs and gasps for air. She is so cute when she laughs like this, Natural and happy. I stop and she calms down but we are laying on our sides. Our legs intertwined. Her eyes are closed and she looks happy. I pull her close to me and kiss her forehead. "im glad your back liam"
"me too"
we stay like this until mum calls us down for dinner.
After dinner we watch movies and talk just like normal, but inside im dying. I cant be just friends any more. We are already extremely close, and do things normal friends don't do. Like kiss each other. I mean no lip to lip, but still the boys don't do that with any of their friends that are girls. But I just love her so much I cant help it. I don't want to hurt her I just want to hold her and never let go. Ever since xfactor I felt like a piece of me was missing. Now I realize its lilly. I need her in my life. Without her I am nothing. I am just liam. But with her I am everything and more.
Lilly's POV
How does one nonchalantly tell their best friend they are in love with them. I mean there has been other guys, but it was never all really there. And I don't know maybe I just dated them to fill the void that liam left. I dated so many guys while liam was gone and he has no clue. He knew about a couple hopefuls, but they were just never what I wanted. They weren't liam. A couple of them were meant and I deserved it. I was fat but now im skinny and I work out all the time. But they didn't have to hit me, they hit me with their words. Spitting drunken words into my face about how fat and ugly I am. It was true. Some days it is still true. I could never tell liam about those guys though. He would probably realize it and agree with them and then he wouldn't want to be my best friend anymore, let alone love me. Maybe I shouldn't tell him I love him. Isn't there that saying that if you love something you have to let it go? Right? I don't know I cant really think straight tonight. Liam is still sleeping when I walk out of the bathroom. I climb into the bed and try not to wake him. I kiss his forehead before I close my eyes. I hear him rustle but I try to pretend to be asleep. He sees my tear streaked face and now he sits up against the headboard and pulls me closer but I don't open my eyes just cry a little more. He brushes my hair back as he whispers. "shh, baby its ok im here. Don't cry. Shh..." I cant control it I just cry and cry. Still he rocks me back and forth. I'm crying so hard im shaking. Liam stops rocking me and just holds me in his arms. As he rubs my back he sings into my ear
"I, ill love you forever,
forever and always. Through the good,
the bad, and the ugly,
well grow old together,
forever and always."
I calm down just a bit as he transitions into a new song.
"lights will guide lilly, home.
And I will try to fix you."
I stop crying and liam hands me a tissue. I probably look like a slob but I don't care. Ive missed him so much. I needed someone to hold me. And now my li li is back.
I sit in his lap and lean my forehead against his as I try to steady my breathing. Liam rubs my back which helps. Soon im drifting to a sort of sleep so liam lays me down...
Liam's POV
Lilly began to fall back into a soft sleep and so I lie her down and went into the hallway. Originally I was gonna go to the bathroom but I guess my mum heard because she was there. Instead I just fell to the floor and cried. Mum came over and rubbed my back as I cried. 'let it out honey. Its ok."
I sobbed just like a little baby. "no mom its not okay." I whisper shouted to her.
"why is that liam?" she aksed.
"because im a horrible best friend. All those times she needed me I was gone. When she needed someone to hold her through the night I was nowhere to be found.!"
"I am her woody! I am supposed to save her but I let her be broken over and over again!"
I cried and cried and cried. Mum rocked me back and forth just as I had done for lilly. Which just made me cry more. In-between sobs I managed to choke out the words "mum, I love her." " .much"
"I know honey, I know." She brushed what little hair I had left back. She kissed my forehead and then look straight into my eyes with great sadness. Was she sad because of me crying, lilly crying, or what she was about to say. I couldn't tell. "liam..." her voice avering with every word. "I have to let you know." This can not be good.. "yes mum, what is it?"
"while you were gone, lilly was very sad. She missed you very very much. And she didn't know how to deal with the pain." Now mum was crying I just shook my head, I knew what was coming. I didn't want to hear it, I didn't want it to be true. "lilly met some interesting people while you were gone, some were nice. But most were not." "they hurt her liam, they broke her and she couldn't pick up the pieces.
That is why she was crying tonight. Her mum called me countless nights saying that lilly would just stay up all night crying. She wouldn't call you, she didn't want to get in the way. She loves you so much she doesnt want to burden you. Liam these people she met got her to think bad things and she still believes them." With every word my mother said I took it in and cried a little harder imagining it all happening. It made me sad but mad. Why. Why should this happen to her. I wouldnt to punch something, to break anything so that I could feel lilly's pain. "I know what youre thinking liam, but no. the pain lilly feels is not physical it is mental."
"mum.." I whispered... "did she use drugs.?"
"no liam she didn't. but she didn't eat for weeks at a time. She lost so much weight. It was terrifying. I was afraid if I hugged her to tight I would break her bones.
Ooh and she drank all the time li. We were afraid that if she didn't get help she would have. "NO MOM DON'T SAY IT"
"liam you have to understand that I will not say it, but you have to understand we were close."
"why didn't anyone else tell me!?" I sobbed.
"liam we didn't want to distract you and by the time we found out we thought it was too late."
"so you would have given up on her! Just let her leave with out a fight!" I fought out the words, I didn't want to wake lilly, and my throat was hoarse from crying.
"no liam, never would I ever give up on lilly.! How dare you think that. You don't understand how bad she was. She only ate once a day and a very small amount and drank more than her liver could take."
I just cried and cried some more. I didn't know what else to do. "mum what do I do? Im supposed to save her how do I do it?" ... "im scared." I whispered.
"you need to tell her how you really feel, and you just need to be there for her. Do all that you can that will be more than enough for her. Go wipe your nose and try to get some sleep. I love you son."
"thanks mum, for everything." I kissed her goodnight and went to the bathroom. I wiped my nose and rinsed my face after I dried my face with a towel I looked in the mirror. "youre a horrible best friend." I said to my reflection. Then I walked to my room and climbed into my bed. She was still sound a sleep. I wrapped her in my arms and kissed her forehead several times. Each time repeating the words "im here".
As I tried to sleep I took notice to how small lilly had gotten, I couldn't believe I didn't notice. She was never large by any means, but now she was noticeably thinner. And you could see the bags under her eyes from little sleep. I stroked her hair a few times and then rested my head against hers. I closed my eyes and tried to remember some of the boyfriends she had. All I could think of was them treating her horribly and it made me want to punch someone. i held lilly tighter and soon drifted into a restless sleep.