Mikau: Hi guys! Thanks for coming back for chapter three! Sorry about last chapter. -.-; Hopefully you'll like this one better. I feel bad about this series because this isn't something I wrote for fun, and I think it shows. I rushed to get it all written in two weeks to meet the deadline, and the suggested word limit was around 1.5K, so I in no way intended to write almost 18K. I definitely didn't want to go over 10K in the beginning, so I made the choice to leave out filler scenes to show the progression of the friendship and focused instead on the plot-relevant scenes, so I think it makes the pacing feel weird and jumpy, but… Anyway, hopefully this chapter is better than the last one. I hope you enjoy it. Special thanks to reviewers: Fireflower19, Flesh Delirium, and LadyShadow26!

Disclaimer: Just in case you forgot, I am not Aoyama Gosho-sensei, and I am still not a reputable source for information on figure skating. Thanks again to the magic of the internet for enabling me to do research.

…...

Chapter Three

"Excellent, Kuroba!" Saguru cheered as they both came to a stop after executing their side by side double axels. "You're doing extremely well. How do you feel about it?"

Kaito wobbled a little but was able to stay fairly stationary and upright without Saguru's help. "I feel pretty good, actually. The jumps aren't too bad most of the time if I concentrate, and I actually feel really confident about the dance lifts and the midair lifts."

"Good." Saguru beamed with pride, thinking how far Kaito had come in only a month's time. "All that's left is the death spiral, twist lift, throw jump, and then to actually practice the pieces of the routine we've been working on as a whole."

"I'm actually kind of stoked for the death spiral," Kaito laughed at himself. "When you first showed it to me, I thought you were nuts, but now that I've seen what all I can do and I'm not so afraid anymore, it kind of looks like fun."

"You would think being swung around with your head inches from both the ice and my blades was fun," Saguru scoffed fondly. "We'll try death spirals tomorrow. For now, I want to try the twist lift."

"Can we work on footwork a little more first?" Kaito requested, face a bit pale. "I still don't feel comfortable doing crossovers, and I'm afraid I'm going to make our step sequences look like a total mess. That's more important than the twist lift right now, isn't it?"

Saguru's brow furrowed at Kaito's subtle attempt at procrastination, but he didn't press the issue. "If you'd like. What seems to be giving you trouble? I think your footwork looks fine. It's a little unpolished, maybe, but…"

Kaito's cheeks colored slightly, and he looked down at the ice, smiling bashfully. "You're going to have a field day with me after all the crap I gave you, but my problem isn't the movements themselves but the emotions behind them."

"I'm sorry. I'm not following you." Saguru frowned, trying his best to understand.

Kaito rubbed the back of his neck, searching for the right words to express his feelings. "When I hold your hand as we skate together, I feel…"

"What exactly?" he wondered.

"…weird," Kaito decided. "It's awkward. I've always felt like, when I watched pair skaters in the past, it seemed like they were actually a couple. The atmosphere between them, the subtle looks, the caresses, it's all…" Kaito bit his lip and tried again. "There's a lot of drama and sexual tension. I made the comment before that some of the moves we were doing were like having sex clothed, but skating with you and doing all these extremely intimate moves to draw the audience into the performance and the story we're weaving…recently it's started to feel…strange…for some reason."

Kaito looked up to find his partner studying him intently. It didn't look like Hakuba was judging or about to laugh at him at all, but the blonde's expression seemed somewhat troubled while still remaining unreadable.

When it became apparent that Saguru wasn't going to respond, Kaito licked his lips and attempted to clarify. "This has never happened to me before. I mean, I've disguised as people's spouses in the past, and it was never a big deal just playing the part. I have no idea why suddenly I'm all 'blushing virgin' when it comes to touching and holding and acting out this performance of making love on ice with you." He tentatively met Saguru's gaze. "Does that…make any sense?"

"It depends. Is it just me you feel awkward doing things with? Would it make a difference if it were some other man or even a woman?" Saguru mentally crossed his fingers, not wanting to get his hopes up yet but unable to completely restrain himself.

"Yeah. I mean, I was wondering, so I hit on Kudo the other day, and I had no problem with that," Kaito reported with a shrug.

Saguru frowned. On one hand, it was encouraging to hear that Kaito's skittish reactions to intimacy were reserved to him alone. That could possibly be a sign that Kaito had become aware of Saguru as a potential romantic interest. On the other hand…

"And how did Kudo feel about your little experiment?" He almost hated to ask.

Kaito's lips curled into a mischievous grin. "He nearly decked me and threated to skin me alive if I ever impersonated Ran-chan again."

Saguru groaned, shaking his head. "Of course you did."

"Of course," Kaito chuckled but then quickly got back to business. "So what do you think is up with me?"

Saguru nearly laughed.

Kaito caught the twitch of the lips and narrowed his eyes at his friend. "What? Seriously. It's totally throwing me off and making me nervous. I can't focus, and it's going to show in our performance, Haku-chan. If you know something, spit it out already."

Saguru shook his head, smiling indulgently. "I don't think it's any cause for concern, Kuroba. You should figure it out given time."

"Oh, stop with your smug grin," Kaito grumbled. "If I weren't on skates right now, I'd slug you."

"This isn't smug," Saguru insisted. "And you should be very familiar with smug, considering the frequency with which you express it."

Kaito rolled his eyes. "Fine. But until I manage to figure things out and get a handle on my rogue nerves, how do I deal with them?"

"I couldn't tell you," Saguru informed apologetically.

"Well what did you do to keep yourself from freaking out at all the suggestive touches and moves when you first started pair skating?" Kaito demanded in exasperation. "You always clam up and shy away at the mere mention of relationships or intimacy, so how did you deal?"

Hakuba blinked as he stared in surprise at his partner. "I never had that issue."

Kaito stared at him blankly. "You're kidding."

"No," Saguru answered in earnest. "I never had a problem with all the close contact. In fact, I sort of liked it. Not in a weird way, mind you," he rushed to add, cheeks coloring as he waved his arms. "Just…I was a bit neglected growing up. Baaya was always wonderful, but my parents were largely absent, and, for various reasons, I had no close friends. I was emotionally starved, so the little human intimacy I got through skating was like a gulp of fresh air before I went underwater again. That's part of why I was such an easy target for Kostya."

"I'm sorry," Kaito whispered, hesitantly reaching out and resting his hand on Saguru's shoulder.

Saguru smiled softly in warm appreciation for the gesture. "It's all right. Thank you, Kuroba. I'm sorry I can't offer you any advice, though."

Kaito shook his head and shrugged. "Don't even worry about it. I'm a professional after all. I'll get this under control."

"Ready to try out some footwork, then?"

Kaito nodded, reaching out for Saguru's hand. "I want to do the part where we skate backwards holding hands, turn together, and then switch hands."

Saguru nodded in assent, and they practiced various footwork for another half hour.

Kaito was just about to suggest another element he wanted to review when Saguru gently cut him off. "Kuroba, don't you think it's about time to try the twist lift? We were supposed to go over it today."

Kaito grimaced. "Do we have to?"

Saguru nodded.

"I'm not ready," Kaito argued.

"But you are," Saguru tried to encourage his partner. "You're just anxious, but I assure you, there's no need to be afraid. Come here."

Kaito reluctantly skated over to his friend. He almost jumped as Saguru reached out and took Kaito's cheeks in his hands.

"Kaito," Saguru whispered soothingly. "I promise I would never drop you. I won't let you fall, so don't be afraid."

Kaito's eyes widened, cheeks glowing and heart throbbing at the contact coupled with the use of his given name stripped of all honorifics.

As he processed what Saguru was saying, he broke out into a sheepish smile and laughed. He shook his head as he responded, "Haku-chan, I know. I trust you, and I know I'm in good hands." He rested his palm lightly on top of Saguru's hand, still holding Kaito's cheek. "That's not what I'm afraid of. I'm scared that I'm going to mess up and accidentally hurt you."

Saguru's mouth fell open slightly as his mind short circuited. Kaito was afraid of hurting him? "Oh…. But you won't! I'll be fine, so you don't have to psych yourself out over something like that."

Kaito frowned, pulling back away from Saguru. "Yes, I do, because it's kind of a big deal, slicing my partner's face open or accidentally decapitating him," he retorted indignantly.

"But that's not going to happen," Saguru assured.

"Maybe not the decapitation," Kaito conceded. "But I'm still worried about seriously hurting you. These are dangerous stunts we're doing, Haku-chan, and I am so far from a professional, it's not even funny."

"It will be okay, Kuroba. You've done just fine when we practiced," Saguru reasoned.

"Yeah, without the knives on my feet," Kaito scoffed.

"I know you can do this. Have a little more faith in yourself; I have faith in you."

Kaito looked at his partner, studied the firm, resolute belief in Saguru's eyes, and then sighed in defeat. "Fine. Let's do this thing already before I lose my nerve."

"Excellent," Saguru cheered, victorious at last. "All right. Just like we practiced, Kuroba. You've got this. Just remember, big bend in the knee as I set you down."

Kaito took a deep breath as he got into position.

"Okay?" Saguru prompted.

Kaito shook his head. "I can't."

"Kuroba?" Saguru called softly, going over and giving Kaito's shoulders a quick massage. "Get out of your own head, Kuroba. You're not going to hurt me…. Don't think. Just do it."

Kaito took a deep breath, closing his eyes and concentrating on the reassuring pressure of Saguru's fingers as he kneaded away the stress.

"Just do it," Kaito muttered to himself, nodding as he reset.

Saguru patted him on the back before taking his own position.

"Just do it. Just do it," Kaito whispered.

At Saguru's cue, they took off, gradually building speed. Saguru's hands went to Kaito's waist, raising him up and gently tossing him into the spin.

Kaito's body moved on its own, his muscles remembering the hours of training Saguru had put him through on the mats for this exact purpose. Kaito's body knew what to do, just like when he was flying the glider. He moved instinctually, and so there was no need to think in depth about where his arms went and how he needed to position his feet. It all came together in an instant, and then it was over.

Saguru caught him once more, gently setting him down. Kaito's knee bent, his back leg went up, and the twist lift was successfully completed.

"I told you so!" Saguru shouted triumphantly, pulling Kaito in for a crushing hug. "Kuroba, that was brilliant! See? I knew you could do it! That was flawless! See what you can do?"

Kaito laughed hysterically, his body trembling as his arms wrapped around his partner and he leaned on Saguru for support. "Oh my gosh," he whispered breathlessly. "I wanna do that again."

"See?" Saguru chuckled, leaning back slightly to beam down at Kaito. "You're incredible, Kuroba."

"Why?" Kaito scoffed. "You're the one doing all the hard work. I just do what you tell me, Haku-chan."

Saguru rolled his eyes. "For once in his life, the great Kuroba Kaito shows a little humility…at a time when none is necessary. You've put the time and the effort in too, Kuroba, and it is paying off. This is your victory every bit as much as it's mine…if not, more so for all that you've had to overcome to get here."

Kaito shrugged off the praise, but a content grin still clung to his lips. "All right. Maybe, but, anyway, thank you, Haku-chan for making all this possible. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you helped me work through my trauma and actually made me enjoy skating."

"The pleasure has been all mine," Saguru assured and then changed the subject slightly out of embarrassment. "But you said you wanted to do the twist lift again?"

Kaito was quickly distracted, and they got back to work on their technique.

…

"I can't believe you landed a quad flip," Saguru repeated for the third time as they left the rink. "My mind is still blown."

"Yeah?" Kaito chuckled, pride thrumming through his entire body. The look of awe on Saguru's face when Kaito executed the jump had been priceless, and his success was still making Kaito giddy.

"Yes," Saguru affirmed. "Where in the world did you learn to do that? The most rotations I've ever had you do on a jump is two. Well, two and half on the axel, but…"

"YouTube." Kaito shrugged. "Do you think we could incorporate a quad flip into our routine?"

"No, because I don't think I could do a quad anything anymore," Saguru laughed sheepishly. "…Kuroba, why don't we call this pair thing off, and I'll just choreograph a program for the Suzuki's competition for you?"

"What?" Jarred out of his euphoric mood, Kaito stopped walking and stared at his friend, hurt and confusion filling his violet eyes. "W-Why? Did I do something wrong? Is skating with me too much trouble or something?"

Saguru came to a halt as well, startled at the intensity of Kaito's reaction. "Not at all. I've just been thinking that you've become so good at this, Kuroba. Now that you've gotten past your trauma, you're excelling, just like you do in all other athletics. You're far better than I am, and now that you don't really need me anymore, I thought it might be better to have you compete individually so that I don't hold you back."

"You're not holding me back! Haku-chan, I do still need you," Kaito returned resolutely. "I'd be petrified if I didn't have you out there on the ice with me. I've only been able to do as well as I have because you're there by my side and I trust that you'll save me if anything happens."

The two stood, holding each other's gaze as the wind whistled through the dead leaves still clinging to the mostly barren branches of the campus's maple trees.

A faint smile of understanding slowly unfolded on Saguru's lips, and he nodded his assent. "All right. We'll skate together." Then, to lighten the tense atmosphere he had unwittingly created between them, Saguru added, "And if need be, I'll do everything I can to save you short of mouth-to-mouth. I seem to remember your verbal DNR order expressly forbidding that."

Kaito winced, face going red either from the frigid wind or the mortifying embarrassment. "Forget that I ever said that. I was still caught up in being a massive jerk back then."

"So I am allowed to resuscitate you?" Saguru teasingly hummed in thought, a facetious grin breaking through.

Kaito averted his eyes, cheeks still glowing like embers, as he started walking again, throwing, "Yeah, but you'd better marry me afterwards, you hear?" back over his shoulder.

"I suppose I could do worse," Saguru returned the volley with gusto. It was rare that he got to see Kaito flustered, and he was enjoying it to the fullest. "Physically and mentally, you're a steal as far as mates go. It's just your bad personality that goes and spoils the whole thing."

"Shut up and hurry," Kaito groused, defaulting to a prickly attitude in defense against Hakuba's unusual playful teasing. "It's freezing out here, so let's keep moving."

Saguru tried to put a damper on his amused smirk as he fell back into step beside Kaito, but he couldn't hold back a pleased chuckle of, "It's good to know someone needs me."

A quick bolt of pain stabbed Kaito through the heart. "You're needed by a lot of people, Haku-chan," Kaito reminded.

Saguru's brow creased as he tried to think to whom Kaito could be referring. He supposed there were the people he helped as a detective. That number wasn't nearly as large as Kudo's, but it undeniably counted for something. Not in the way Saguru wished, but…

"Ah. You're right. I forget sometimes." Saguru tried to shake it off, to shake off that concerned look Kaito was now giving him.

"Actually, this is the kind of thing I wanted to talk to you about," Kaito muttered, sticking his hands into his pockets.

"Hm?" Saguru leaned in closer, unable to hear well over the whipping of the wind. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"A lot of things." Kaito raised his volume to compete with the blustery wind. "Can I come over to your place? I mean, my roommate is out with his girlfriend, so technically we should be in the clear, but if they get in a fight and he comes home early… I don't want to risk being walked in on, so your single room would work much better."

Saguru slowed his pace considerably, warily eyeing his friend. "Kuroba, what exactly are you wanting to talk about?"

Kaito bit his lip, tipping his head to look back at Saguru as he admitted, "Stuff you're probably not going to want to talk about?"

"Such as?" Saguru reluctantly kept following the magician.

Kaito took a deep breath and then met Saguru's gaze as he explained, "You know when I told you about my ice/fish trauma? You said that everyone had something like that and that for you it was a fear that you were unlovable and that you were scared people were going to reject and abandon you."

Saguru paled, eyes widening and lips rounding into a silent "Oh". He had so hoped that Kaito had forgotten about that or maybe that it hadn't completely registered. He looked away, trying to play it cool. "Oh, that? It's really not such a big deal as it may have seemed at the time. My primary goal was to help you regain confidence in yourself and relax so that you could skate properly. I don't think—"

"—Saguru," Kaito sternly interrupted Saguru's fibs. "It is a big deal. Don't play all nonchalant on me; I can see right through you. You put on a good show most of the time, but occasionally the things you say and your reactions reveal just how broken you really are on the inside."

Saguru opened his mouth to refute Kaito, but Kaito gently cut him off.

"I can tell because I'm broken behind this mask I always wear too." Kaito paused as Saguru searched his eyes, his expression. "I've told you about my father, right? In passing? Or at least I've dropped major hints?"

Saguru nodded. "That he faked his death, didn't intervene when your mother was admitted to an institution and you were being passed around between distant relatives, let you take up his mantle thinking you were avenging his death and saving the world, and then walked back into your life after nearly ten years as if nothing had happened? At least, that's what I gathered from the little you gave me to work with. I had to do a substantial amount of background research on your family and then some creative connecting of the dots." Saguru chuckled ironically. "You know, if that was you dropping 'major hints', Kuroba, I would hate to see you being subtle. I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to keep up."

Kaito grimaced as they approached Saguru's dorm. "Okay, so I suck at making big heart-to-heart confessions, but my point was that I've got plenty of cracks and chinks myself. Haku-chan, we're friends, right?"

Saguru replied without the slightest hesitation. "Of course we are."

"And friends are there to talk about things and support one another and keep each other from suffering on their own, right?" Kaito pressed, lowering his voice as they entered the building and started down the first floor hallway towards the elevator.

"Yes," Saguru whispered, seeing clearly that there was no way he was getting out of having this discussion.

"So we need to talk," Kaito summarized. "I want to help in any way I can, even if it's just listening and letting you get something off your chest. Besides, I probably could use someone to listen to me, so feel free to ask me about anything too."

Saguru closed his eyes as they rode the lift up, taking deep breaths and considering Kaito's offer. "All right," he sighed.

They exited the elevator and made their way down the hall to Saguru's door.

"I had wanted to tell you everything, and I'd planned on doing it eventually," he confessed, much to Kaito's surprise, as he fished out his keys. "I don't know that I'm ready at this point, but, at the same time, I know that I won't feel any more prepared even if I keep putting this conversation off for any number of weeks, months, or years."

The door clicked open, and Saguru stepped inside, pausing in the doorway, biting his lip. He turned to Kaito, looking him straight in the eye even as his body and voice shook. "Before we start this, though, there's something you should know. I don't want to waste your time, so I'm just going to tell you now, and if you want to leave, that's fine. You don't have to pretend or worry about my feelings. It'll be easier on me if we make a clean break of it."

"Saguru, what are you talking about?" Kaito demanded, beginning to worry at the anguish in Saguru's eyes and the distress evident in his voice.

Saguru forced himself to face Kaito so that he could gauge the magician's reaction as he confessed, "I've never really been interested in women."

…...

Mikau: Yep. That's where I'm stopping for today. ^.^ I love you too. So what did you think? I hope you liked it better than last chapter. -.-; Anyway, I think I've decided that next chapter will be the last. My options were to do one big chapter of about five thousand five hundred words or to break it up into two chapters of four thousand and one thousand five hundred respectively, so…I decided to go with the former. Thank you for reading, and I hope you'll look forward to the conclusion. I'm going to be swamped this week, but it should be posted next weekend.