The drive back to the Homestead filled Waverly's head and heart with a crippling silence. She tried listening to the radio, but whatever higher power existed must have hated her because every song that came on had been about losing someone or feeling as though something was missing from their life. Any other time, Waverly wouldn't have minded the music or the meaning behind the lyrics. But with Wynonna back and those memories invading her sanity, she couldn't handle the burning feeling in her chest. Some days, Waverly would sit in her room with her back against the door, clawing at her chest until it left burning red lines to replace the pain inside.
Listening to the sound of gravel under her tires, Waverly got out of the Jeep and turned her attention to the Homestead. The light on the front porch was on, which they always kept on in order to sway intruders from stepping on their land. But just as fast as she saw the light on the porch, Waverly saw that night happening as if she watched it from the outside. She saw "them" break into the window before grabbing Willa, dragging her off into the distance. The sound of a gun shot from Peacemaker filled her ears as if it really happened instead of being a memory. The sight of the bullet leaving the other side of Daddy's chest before going into her own caused all air to leave Waverly's lungs.
Falling to the ground, gasping for air, Waverly felt tears burn down her cheeks as cold snow hit her bare hands. Her vision started going blurry in the middle as the edge began fading black. This wasn't the first time a panic attack took over Waverly's entire being, but it was the first one since the last time Wynonna left Purgatory. So the anxiety hit Waverly with the fullest amount of force possible. Please just breathe Waverly. Keep yourself together and don't have a panic attack in the middle of your driveway... Focus on something to stop this because Officer Haught is going to be here soon...
The thought of the young Officer caused Waverly's lungs to start slowing working again, but not quite normal. She was able to stand up slowly, trying to balance herself as the blurred vision still had yet to go away. Waverly managed to stumble through the front door, not noticing how she left it wide open, before darting up the stairs towards her room. Being in her room with the doors shut seemed to help because Waverly felt as though it closed herself off from the rest of the world. All the voices and fears running through her head would stop the moment she heard the clicking of her door closing.
A small smile appeared on Waverly's face as her door came to view. Just a few more steps Waverly. You can do this, just keep pushing forward. Reaching her hand out to the door knob, Waverly took a deep breath in before opening her door. But nothing could prepare her for the person she thought she saw sitting on her bed. With a smirk on his face and his finger pointing in her direction, Bobo Del Ray caught Waverly's attention as he sat on the edge. Her heart made one large beat in her chest, enough to cause pain, before feeling as though it stopped completely.
But just as soon as Waverly could comprehend it was Bobo on her bed, he vanished as if he was never there to begin with. Still on the verge of passing out from the panic attack, Waverly ran out of her room to the bathroom down the hall with only one thought it her mind. The only thing that could pull her out of this panic attack had been the one thing Waverly promised herself she would never do again. Especially after the time Wynonna found her on the verge of saying goodbye.
Waverly had just turned 16 a week before and just started her junior year of high-school early that fall. Up until then, Waverly managed to go unnoticed... at least for the most part. Champ, now a senior, asked Waverly to prom the year before and the two had been dating ever since. Although Waverly saw Champ as nothing more than a horny pig, he did give her something she had wanted since she was six: an opportunity to get of Wynonna's shadow. Instead of being called the weird Earp girl, people started seeing Waverly as Champ's girlfriend.
Waverly was one step closer to being seen as just Waverly, instead of being associated with someone else or someone's past. So she found small comfort in Champ's presence. There were rumors going around school and the rest of Purgatory about Champ using Waverly as a cover up for his sexual tendencies with other girls in the town. But to Waverly, those rumors were just that: rumors. She didn't want to dwell on the fact that Champ has been cheating on her from the moment he asked her to prom. Waverly had finally gotten the normality she wished for daily and she was not quite ready to give it up.
But as Waverly experienced in the past, you can always have too much of a good thing before someone corrupts it for their own benefit. Walking through the hallway of the high-school, Waverly kept her head low as she was fighting a massive headache that started the moment she woke up. The previous night, Champ took her to a party on the outskirts of town hosted by one of the popular seniors. Waverly knew alcohol would be involved, but she didn't imagine it would be to the extent it was.
Even though her head was low, she could still hear the whispers coming from the other students in the halls and she still felt every pair of eyes stare at her as she passed. "Have you seen the photo of her? No wonder Champ has been bragging all day." "I would totally get some action if I had the courage to talk to her." "I don't know what the big deal about the Earp girl is. I have seen girls with way better bodies and way better parts than hers." All those whispers and more fueled the anger that was already inside Waverly.
Unfortunately, Waverly couldn't remember anything from her previous night at the party or anything that could have possibly happened afterwards. The last clear memory that she could recall was accepting a drink from Champ. He had a smile on his face that gave Waverly a bad feeling, but when she noticed all the people looking at her, she grabbed the cup from Champ's hand and drank it all in one go. After that, Waverly couldn't recall a single word she said or an action she did.
Turning down another hall, Waverly saw Champ looking at his phone, surrounded by a group of hollering guys. She wanted to know what had happened and expected Champ to know because he had to have been with her the whole night. But her thoughts were cut off when the group of guys started yelling her name, including Champ.
"What the hell happened last night Champ? People have been staring at me all day and whispering things. Could someone please explain?" Waverly asked.
"Damn Champ! You got her so good she doesn't even remember it!" One of the guys gave Champ a high five before turning back to Waverly. "I saw the picture he took of you. I was wondering if you would want to come to my house later so I can show you how a real man feels."
Waverly's mouth dropped open a little as she turned her attention to Champ, who looked down towards the ground as if someone killed his ego. In that moment, Waverly made sense of everything happening to her this morning. All the whispers in the halls, all the people staring at her back side, boys making horrible gestures towards her. Waverly finally figured out what Champ had taken from her last night, and she would never be able to feel the same about herself again.
"I would say fuck you Champ, but I don't think I want to," Waverly spat in his direction before running down the rest of the hall towards the exit. Just barely over the happy hollering of the group of guys, Waverly heard Champ yelling for her. Champ begging Waverly to stop and let him explain everything before she makes a rash decision. But Waverly ignored his desperate attempts to save himself.
Tears fell from Waverly's eyes in a steady pool the entire time she ran back to the Homestead. Gus stayed home that day, claiming to have fall cleaning to do, and Waverly didn't want to hear a lecture from her Aunt about leaving school without notice. With no where else to go in order to be alone, Waverly continued running in the direction of broken memories. The first time being back to that house in years and Waverly would be just as upset as the last time she was there.
Opening the door, Waverly ran straight to the bathroom, the urgent need to throw up the contents of her stomach taking over. Leaning over the toilet, Waverly let out a mixture of cries, tears, and stomach contents for a good five minutes before standing up in front of the mirror. Her hair was a mess from the run over and from the adventure with the toilet only moments ago. Bloodshot, puffy eyes stared back from the mirror, begging Waverly to make the pain stop.
"I can't keep this act up anymore. All these years of trying to fit in and get out of others' shadows have drained me. I'm so sorry Daddy, I'm sorry Willa, I just can't do it anymore," Waverly silently confessed as her head dropped towards the floor. Taking deep breaths, Waverly grabbed her bag before pulling out the pill bottle and the water bottle she had been saving for this moment. Without any hesitation, Waverly opened the pill bottle and poured the contents into her mouth followed by large gulps of water. Trying to get down multiple pills had felt better to Waverly than dealing with reality.
As more tears began to fall from her eyes, Waverly quickly grabbed a sticky note and a pen from her bag. "I will tell Daddy and Willa hi for you" were the only words Waverly managed to get on the paper before sticking it to the mirror. Waverly turned in the direction of the bathtub, a small broken smile on her face, as she stepped in fully clothed. Turning the water to the hottest temperature it would go, Waverly screamed as the water hit her body while she closed the shower drain. Now all she had to do was wait.
Author's Note: And here marks the end of Chapter two. I bet you are all wondering what is going to happen just as much as I am. But I felt it was important to end the chapter here as not only did it have many important topics, but it left me wondering where I would take the story next. I am sorry if any of this triggered anyone in any way. That was not my intention. Please let me know what you think or what I should do better! Until next time, keep breathing and pushing through life.