A/N: OMG I love you guys! I get so impatient waiting for reviews. . . I
swear I checked for new ones ten times during like one hour. But I got my
three in two hours, so I'm review happy! Just keep reviewing, ok? Oh all
right, fine - you can read it first. But that's my final offer. =-P
(Seriously, you should see how happy I get when I get reviews. . . I think
my family think I'm cracking up. . .)
Anyway I feel very special because I'm posting the third chapter in two
days!!! (Shouldn't I study for exams? Nah. I've got another day and a half
for that.)
Enough of my prattle. . . On with the fic!
Disclaimer: The plot's mine, as are the referre relatus spell and the powers of Relating. Other than that, pretty much all of it belongs to the lovely and talented JKR. Please don't sue me! I just like to play in my little sandbox of the world of Harry Potter.
.- ~*~ -.
Relating Relations ~ Chapter Two: The Bighead and the Charmer
Percy and Penelope got together last year. They were really sweet about it all, even if only I knew just how sweet.
Everybody knows Percy is a pompous prat, or at least they think they know he's like that. From what I can see, he's just sensitive. I think I can give you a pretty good idea of his emotional profile:
As the third child, he probably never really got as much attention as he wanted or needed. Then the twins came along, and he got even less of his parents' time. Those two are *such* a handful. He probably thought that if he was serious and worked hard his parents would pay more attention and give him more love, although Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are some of the most loving people I know. And I guess it worked. I mean, when he was made a Prefect he got an owl to replace his rat and his parents, especially his mother, were very proud. When he got Head Boy I was really happy for him. Fred and George bugged him about talking about it all the time, but I guess Percy just wanted to hear how good he was more often. Diagnosis: he has self-esteem problems.
I think it's sad. I don't think he's really very intelligent, just about average. He's had to work really hard to get good grades and it's taken most of the fun and mischief out of him. You know what they say about all work and no play. . .
I don't know Penelope that well, since she's a Ravenclaw. I do know that she's an intelligent girl, especially at Charms, like many of the girls in her house. She's really very pretty too. I think I'm a little jealous. Anyway, one day in my sixth year she found Percy out by the lake, crying about some of the things Fred and George had said. Honestly, I wish I could tell those two how much their teasing hurts their brother. But I don't think they would listen - anyway, it would probably only make it worse for poor Percy. Anyway, Penelope asked him what was wrong and he told her - finally he let himself go. Penelope said all the right things and made all the right noises and then she held him for a long, long time. For once, Percy was outdoors after curfew. And he didn't care.
Now they're always so sweet together. Penelope understands him, and he needs that kind of nurturing. She partly acts as his mother and partly as his girlfriend, but I'm happy to say that love has replaced pity in her heart. He loves her more all the time - even takes time off from his Head Boy position to see her.
They cuddle all the time, but more in a comforting way than a passionate way. They never make you feel uncomfortable by making out in front of you, no matter how much Ron and the twins may object to the fact that their brother has a girlfriend. They're very romantic in the classical way - roses, chocolates, honourable intentions and all that. They haven't slept together yet. (Yes, that's one of the things my glorious powers let me see. Aren't I lucky? I really wanted to know what all those Slytherins do in their spare time. See, told you I am sarcastic. . .) It isn't because it's against the rules however. It's just because Percy is so old- fashionedly chivalrous that he wants to marry her first. I hope he works up the nerve to propose soon. I've felt him make several plans in his heart, but none of them seem quite right for him and Penelope.
That's their story anyway. . . Back to mine.
.- ~*~ -.
Hmmm. What is there to tell? Oh I know. I was in Divination with Oliver today, and we were sitting across the room from each other, reviewing scrying and dowsing techniques.
"Remember class," Trelawney whispered in what we have dubbed her "smoky" voice, not to be confused with the "hazy" or "foggy" variations. "Your dowsing instrument will only react to water if you hold it between your palms - the exact center of the palms. You know you have the correct spot when. . . Miss Bell?"
I don't know why I put my hand up, but I did, and I knew the answer so it didn't really matter.
"When you can't feel anything between your palms at all, Professor." I addressed the gauzy figure over by the fire. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Oliver hold his hands up to his either side of his head as though it were a dowsing instrument and then point at Trelawney.
I don't know why I found it so funny - everyone knows Trelawney has nothing between her ears - but I did. I burst out into giggles.
Trelawney immediately fixed her humungous eyes on me. I turned my giggles into sobs.
"Miss Bell, you are disturbing the clairvoyant vibrations. If you continue I will have to dismiss the class." I saw the class perk at the thought of escaping the soporific room.
"So. . . sorry, Professor. . . Don't know what's. . . come over me. . .," I said between increasingly fake sobs. Trelawney didn't seem to notice that my acting wasn't up to my usual standard. "It's just . . . poor little . . . Harry Potter . . . no parents . . . and now doomed . . . to die so young . . ." I collapsed forwards on a padded pink footstool, shoulders shaking with barely concealed laughter.
Once I had myself under a little more control, I glanced up at Trelawney. Her eyes were reflecting more than normal, filled with tears.
"I know, my dear," she cooed silkily, "That poor boy bears a heavy burden."
As if this wasn't enough to send me back into spasms of mirth, Oliver chose this moment to make emphatic gagging motions behind Trelawney's back. I collapsed forwards on the footstool once more, burying my face it its musty lace cover. This time Trelawney couldn't possibly mistake it for crying.
She sighed. "Five points from Gryffindor for the five minutes you and the rest of your class will have to miss of my teaching, Miss Bell. The vibrations have been too much affected to go on . . . Class dismissed."
We scrambled gratefully down through the trapdoor. Oliver came up behind me as we walked along to Transfiguration.
"Five points, Miss Bell?" He can do an uncanny impression of McGonagall when inspired. "How do you ever expect Gryffindor to win the House Cup if you will insist on throwing away points in Divination? To Sybil Trelawney? I will die of shame. . ." Oliver dropped off into chuckles. I stopped in the hall, turning to face him.
"Well it's all your fault, anyway. You made me laugh. And don't complain - I got you out of Hogwarts' most pointless class early. You should be thanking me on bended knee."
"My fault? Never!" He feigned innocence. Then bending down on one knee, he announced to me and our entire year, "Fair lady - I owe you my most solemn allegiance 'til the day death claims me for the service you have his day rendered me." The term "services rendered" passed through my mind, and I wrinkled my nose, feeling myself begin to blush. "If there is anything I may do to return the favour of releasing you from the power of a glittery grasshopper - " Here I burst into giggles. Being in a very Over- The-Top-Oliver mood (must have been spending too much time with Fred and George again), he bent down to kiss my feet, causing me to trip over him as I tried to move away before he embarrassed me further. I fell right on top of him. Smooth, Katie, real smooth, I thought to myself. But he was laughing, so I figured it was OK. I rolled off him with a grunt and he got up, pulling me up after him. He started to feel my hips and ribs -
"Ah - can't feel anything broken," he joked. "But perhaps this merits closer inspection. . ." He continued suggestively, a faint smirk fluttering around the corners of his mouth. He made as though to untuck my shirt. Jeez, Oliver, slow down. He wasn't serious - just joking around - and I felt a bit uncomfortable, so I did what all girls should do in such situations: pushed him back, stuck out my tongue at him to show I wasn't really mad, kicked him in the shin, and ran off down the hallway.
When I saw him this afternoon at practice he called over to me, "No broken bones, Bell? No bruises?"
I just rolled my eyes at him and went to change in to my practice robes. But there wasn't any awkwardness so I guess it's all good. Even if I am just a little kinda sorta really confused.
He is one silly guy. Too bad he isn't *my* silly guy. Oh well. Soon, Bell, soon.
.- ~*~ -.
A/N: I hope that bit about Percy and Penelope wasn't too boring for you guys. I have a question for you guys: Do u want me to include all the - uh - passionate details? Of both the Katie/Oliver and the other 'ships that Katie will tell us about? That might be a bit difficult to tell from Katie's POV without making her sound perverted is all. . . Let me know what you think. . . Also, do I need to up the rating to "R"? I mean I don't think I would have had a problem with anything in here when I was thirteen, but I don't want to scar any tender souls out there. . .
NOTES TO MY MarVeLOuS WONDERFUL FAnTAbULOuS REVIEWERS:
KAT - Aww you make me feel loved. Can't wait for you to write a fic yourself! =-) Thanks for your review!
AllyCat - Thanks for so much your encouragement! And yes, you're welcome to come back here behind Sean with me anytime you like, as long as you agree to split the rent. =-)~
Elbereth - OMG! I feel like a first year talking to one in seventh. You're such an awesome author! Thanks for reviewing! I hope I can meet all my reviewers' expectations. *bites nails* lol
OK, I'll update after I get . . . hmm . . . 5 reviews. (I know, don't people just get more demanding all the time?)
Right. This is where I'm supposed to say something witty or hysterical or something, isn't it? Well, normally I'd be happy to oblige, but I've got a cold and hay fever is just making it worse. So I'll just leave you with one of my favourite quotes:
"Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure."
Speaking of wet paint - no, on second thoughts, we won't go there. Let's just say I now have a very artistic version of a pair of white capris.
Remember - 5 reviews! Love you! Toodleoo.
Disclaimer: The plot's mine, as are the referre relatus spell and the powers of Relating. Other than that, pretty much all of it belongs to the lovely and talented JKR. Please don't sue me! I just like to play in my little sandbox of the world of Harry Potter.
.- ~*~ -.
Relating Relations ~ Chapter Two: The Bighead and the Charmer
Percy and Penelope got together last year. They were really sweet about it all, even if only I knew just how sweet.
Everybody knows Percy is a pompous prat, or at least they think they know he's like that. From what I can see, he's just sensitive. I think I can give you a pretty good idea of his emotional profile:
As the third child, he probably never really got as much attention as he wanted or needed. Then the twins came along, and he got even less of his parents' time. Those two are *such* a handful. He probably thought that if he was serious and worked hard his parents would pay more attention and give him more love, although Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are some of the most loving people I know. And I guess it worked. I mean, when he was made a Prefect he got an owl to replace his rat and his parents, especially his mother, were very proud. When he got Head Boy I was really happy for him. Fred and George bugged him about talking about it all the time, but I guess Percy just wanted to hear how good he was more often. Diagnosis: he has self-esteem problems.
I think it's sad. I don't think he's really very intelligent, just about average. He's had to work really hard to get good grades and it's taken most of the fun and mischief out of him. You know what they say about all work and no play. . .
I don't know Penelope that well, since she's a Ravenclaw. I do know that she's an intelligent girl, especially at Charms, like many of the girls in her house. She's really very pretty too. I think I'm a little jealous. Anyway, one day in my sixth year she found Percy out by the lake, crying about some of the things Fred and George had said. Honestly, I wish I could tell those two how much their teasing hurts their brother. But I don't think they would listen - anyway, it would probably only make it worse for poor Percy. Anyway, Penelope asked him what was wrong and he told her - finally he let himself go. Penelope said all the right things and made all the right noises and then she held him for a long, long time. For once, Percy was outdoors after curfew. And he didn't care.
Now they're always so sweet together. Penelope understands him, and he needs that kind of nurturing. She partly acts as his mother and partly as his girlfriend, but I'm happy to say that love has replaced pity in her heart. He loves her more all the time - even takes time off from his Head Boy position to see her.
They cuddle all the time, but more in a comforting way than a passionate way. They never make you feel uncomfortable by making out in front of you, no matter how much Ron and the twins may object to the fact that their brother has a girlfriend. They're very romantic in the classical way - roses, chocolates, honourable intentions and all that. They haven't slept together yet. (Yes, that's one of the things my glorious powers let me see. Aren't I lucky? I really wanted to know what all those Slytherins do in their spare time. See, told you I am sarcastic. . .) It isn't because it's against the rules however. It's just because Percy is so old- fashionedly chivalrous that he wants to marry her first. I hope he works up the nerve to propose soon. I've felt him make several plans in his heart, but none of them seem quite right for him and Penelope.
That's their story anyway. . . Back to mine.
.- ~*~ -.
Hmmm. What is there to tell? Oh I know. I was in Divination with Oliver today, and we were sitting across the room from each other, reviewing scrying and dowsing techniques.
"Remember class," Trelawney whispered in what we have dubbed her "smoky" voice, not to be confused with the "hazy" or "foggy" variations. "Your dowsing instrument will only react to water if you hold it between your palms - the exact center of the palms. You know you have the correct spot when. . . Miss Bell?"
I don't know why I put my hand up, but I did, and I knew the answer so it didn't really matter.
"When you can't feel anything between your palms at all, Professor." I addressed the gauzy figure over by the fire. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Oliver hold his hands up to his either side of his head as though it were a dowsing instrument and then point at Trelawney.
I don't know why I found it so funny - everyone knows Trelawney has nothing between her ears - but I did. I burst out into giggles.
Trelawney immediately fixed her humungous eyes on me. I turned my giggles into sobs.
"Miss Bell, you are disturbing the clairvoyant vibrations. If you continue I will have to dismiss the class." I saw the class perk at the thought of escaping the soporific room.
"So. . . sorry, Professor. . . Don't know what's. . . come over me. . .," I said between increasingly fake sobs. Trelawney didn't seem to notice that my acting wasn't up to my usual standard. "It's just . . . poor little . . . Harry Potter . . . no parents . . . and now doomed . . . to die so young . . ." I collapsed forwards on a padded pink footstool, shoulders shaking with barely concealed laughter.
Once I had myself under a little more control, I glanced up at Trelawney. Her eyes were reflecting more than normal, filled with tears.
"I know, my dear," she cooed silkily, "That poor boy bears a heavy burden."
As if this wasn't enough to send me back into spasms of mirth, Oliver chose this moment to make emphatic gagging motions behind Trelawney's back. I collapsed forwards on the footstool once more, burying my face it its musty lace cover. This time Trelawney couldn't possibly mistake it for crying.
She sighed. "Five points from Gryffindor for the five minutes you and the rest of your class will have to miss of my teaching, Miss Bell. The vibrations have been too much affected to go on . . . Class dismissed."
We scrambled gratefully down through the trapdoor. Oliver came up behind me as we walked along to Transfiguration.
"Five points, Miss Bell?" He can do an uncanny impression of McGonagall when inspired. "How do you ever expect Gryffindor to win the House Cup if you will insist on throwing away points in Divination? To Sybil Trelawney? I will die of shame. . ." Oliver dropped off into chuckles. I stopped in the hall, turning to face him.
"Well it's all your fault, anyway. You made me laugh. And don't complain - I got you out of Hogwarts' most pointless class early. You should be thanking me on bended knee."
"My fault? Never!" He feigned innocence. Then bending down on one knee, he announced to me and our entire year, "Fair lady - I owe you my most solemn allegiance 'til the day death claims me for the service you have his day rendered me." The term "services rendered" passed through my mind, and I wrinkled my nose, feeling myself begin to blush. "If there is anything I may do to return the favour of releasing you from the power of a glittery grasshopper - " Here I burst into giggles. Being in a very Over- The-Top-Oliver mood (must have been spending too much time with Fred and George again), he bent down to kiss my feet, causing me to trip over him as I tried to move away before he embarrassed me further. I fell right on top of him. Smooth, Katie, real smooth, I thought to myself. But he was laughing, so I figured it was OK. I rolled off him with a grunt and he got up, pulling me up after him. He started to feel my hips and ribs -
"Ah - can't feel anything broken," he joked. "But perhaps this merits closer inspection. . ." He continued suggestively, a faint smirk fluttering around the corners of his mouth. He made as though to untuck my shirt. Jeez, Oliver, slow down. He wasn't serious - just joking around - and I felt a bit uncomfortable, so I did what all girls should do in such situations: pushed him back, stuck out my tongue at him to show I wasn't really mad, kicked him in the shin, and ran off down the hallway.
When I saw him this afternoon at practice he called over to me, "No broken bones, Bell? No bruises?"
I just rolled my eyes at him and went to change in to my practice robes. But there wasn't any awkwardness so I guess it's all good. Even if I am just a little kinda sorta really confused.
He is one silly guy. Too bad he isn't *my* silly guy. Oh well. Soon, Bell, soon.
.- ~*~ -.
A/N: I hope that bit about Percy and Penelope wasn't too boring for you guys. I have a question for you guys: Do u want me to include all the - uh - passionate details? Of both the Katie/Oliver and the other 'ships that Katie will tell us about? That might be a bit difficult to tell from Katie's POV without making her sound perverted is all. . . Let me know what you think. . . Also, do I need to up the rating to "R"? I mean I don't think I would have had a problem with anything in here when I was thirteen, but I don't want to scar any tender souls out there. . .
NOTES TO MY MarVeLOuS WONDERFUL FAnTAbULOuS REVIEWERS:
KAT - Aww you make me feel loved. Can't wait for you to write a fic yourself! =-) Thanks for your review!
AllyCat - Thanks for so much your encouragement! And yes, you're welcome to come back here behind Sean with me anytime you like, as long as you agree to split the rent. =-)~
Elbereth - OMG! I feel like a first year talking to one in seventh. You're such an awesome author! Thanks for reviewing! I hope I can meet all my reviewers' expectations. *bites nails* lol
OK, I'll update after I get . . . hmm . . . 5 reviews. (I know, don't people just get more demanding all the time?)
Right. This is where I'm supposed to say something witty or hysterical or something, isn't it? Well, normally I'd be happy to oblige, but I've got a cold and hay fever is just making it worse. So I'll just leave you with one of my favourite quotes:
"Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure."
Speaking of wet paint - no, on second thoughts, we won't go there. Let's just say I now have a very artistic version of a pair of white capris.
Remember - 5 reviews! Love you! Toodleoo.