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DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Naruto! If I did, all the shuriken and whatnot would be replaced with donuts and eclairs.
Naruto woke up, not feeling at ALL like P Diddy. It was mid-afternoon, maybe. He grunted and rolled over on his side; he was lying on his belly. He groped at his bedside table, searching for his cellphone. The first time he wrapped his hand around something metal, it was the alarm clock. Naruto huffed and tossed it away, banging his hand on the table now. His hand yet again enclosed around something small and metal, and this time it was his prize.
He squinted to look at the time on the screen, because fuck clocks. It was indeed almost 2 pm. Naruto flipped open the phone, and his eyes widened at the flood of text messages he had gotten in the 15 hour or so time span. He flipped through them – they were all from the same number. Only a few of them:
"LYK HI LO"
"OMG NARUTO!CUNT LOL U SHU"
"LETS DATE LLLOOOOOOOOOG"
"U MEMBER LOL HOW WE FFFFFUCKKKHEDDDDD HERPA D"
"HGEAOH.. "
"PENIS"
"OLIVE GA"
And the last, which was sent a few hours after:
"Please, please ignore all of those text messages. That was all Neji. I'm so sorry. – Sasuke"
Naruto rubbed his tired eyes. He closed his phone, and stuffed his head back into the pillow.
EARLIER…
"GIVE IT BACK!" Sasuke hollered as he scrambled over Neji's couch to get to him, waving his arms.
"No!" Neji squealed, twirling around, his long hair trailing behind him. "DEEEEEEAAAR NAAAAY-ROOO-TOOOOE, IIIII LLLLOOOOOOOVEEEEE YOU." He drawled out his words as he typed messages onto Sasuke's expensive phone.
"BASTARD!" Sasuke tackled Neji to the ground. "I'm gonna rip your fucking hair out!" Grab. *Send!* Neji cooed with delight and kicked and flailed until he was free once more.
"'NEJI'S CACK IS 500 TYMES BIGGRAR THAN URS. L OOOOO L FAG.' Send!" Neji chirruped delightfully as he continually pressed the send button.
"POOP!"
"TUBGIRL!"
"SWEATY MAN CLEAVAGE!"
Neji laughed like a giddy fucking schoolgirl, dancing and ducking just out of Sasuke's reach. Years of boxing and fight club made him one hell of a fighter, and speed was his forte. He leaped on top of a table, effectively knocking over some dishes. "Hey, sweetcakes," he crooned to poor furious Sasuke, "I'm going to ask him out to Olive Garden for you!"
Sasuke's eyes widened and his scowl darkened. "I will knock your fucking teeth in," he spoke fluidly, with the rage of a thousand men.
"Don't act like that's not what you want," Neji taunted. He was currently tapping out random letters and symbols and sending them periodically. Spamspamspam.
"What the hell's your problem!" Sasuke screeched.
"UGH, you sound like my mother!" Neji whined, holding the phone high above his head as Sasuke made a grab for it.
"Haven't you done enough damage?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes, looking up at Neji.
"I'm only trying to help, you big girl's blouse."
"What if he thinks that it's me? What if he fucking tracks me down and throttles me because he thinks I spammed up his phone?"
"Then he must have some crazy anger issues, man."
"That's not my point!"
"Then what is your point?"
"Give me back my god damned phone!" Sasuke kicked the table, and Neji wobbled.
"Jee-sus! Speaking of anger issues…!" Neji complained. "Fine, here, you want it back so damn hard." Neji threw the phone against the wall, the wall being on the other side of the room. "Did I do that?" Neji mewled, putting his hand to his mouth. "Oh, shame." He leaped down from the table.
Sasuke shamefully went to go get it. "My pride is viciously wounded, Neji," he said simply, the undertone of anger prominent.
"You'll live." Neji flipped over the head of the couch and landed on the cushions. "Are you going home or staying here?"
Good question. Sasuke looked at the clock, because fuck phones, and noticed that it was getting pretty late.
"I guess I'm staying here." Sasuke stuffed the phone back into his pocket. He would attempt to rectify the damage done later.
"Sweet." Neji grinned at Sasuke.
PRESENTLY...
"Just do it." Neji prodded Sasuke's arm.
"No." Sasuke grunted and batted Neji's hand away.
"Do it."
"No!"
A beat.
"Do iiittt…" Neji drawled in a low whisper.
"NO!"
Sasuke was fussing over his phone, opening it and closing it, claiming to be checking the time. He tossed it from hand to hand, staring at it intently.
Neji and Sasuke were sitting on his couch. Neji was peering over Sasuke's shoulder, watching him fidget.
"Text him again." The poking and prodding and so-called encouragement was irking Sasuke. It wasn't like he didn't WANT to, for Chrissakes. It was just…
"Do it, or I'm doing it for you," Neji threatened. He reached out for the phone and Sasuke slunk to the far end of the couch.
"No, you're not. I'm not giving you my phone." Sasuke crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, gripping the phone tightly.
"Who said you're going to give it to me?" Neji grinned and slid to Sasuke. Sasuke grunted in reply.
"Hn."
"But seriously. What have you got to lose? If he remembers your name, then he's definitely at least friend material." Neji was fond of slipping back and forth between joking and serious. One never could really know if he was serious while he was joking, or vice versa. Sasuke swore that he had two personalities and wasn't telling anyone. It was only a matter of time before Neji became cannibalistic and grew leaves.
"I will not be stuck in the friend zone," Sasuke promised. "If there's one thing Uchihas are known for…"
"It's their blatant homosexuality?" Neji finished with a smirk. This comment earned him a Charlie Horse.
"No," Sasuke hissed. "We will not stop until we get what we want. Fucker."
Neji laughed. "You know, I'm going to love seeing the outcome of this."
"I bet you will, you sadistic git." Sasuke rolled his eyes and opened his phone once more. He flicked through his contacts and got to 'Dobe'. He smiled very, very softly and opened a new message.
Neji watched him as he pressed the letter keys, tapping out a message.
Hey. Don't worry, it's Sasuke. How's your day so far?
He slipped the phone back into his pocket, refusing to meet Neji's eyes. He could feel the crazy boy's smug smirk.
"Destiny," Neji said simply, reclining on the couch. Sasuke said nothing.
"It's destiny that you and Naruto-" Neji began to explain after a pause.
"I didn't ask for an elaboration." Sasuke cut him off swiftly, like an executioner's axe.
"You're so bitchy."
The two boys laid lazily on the couch, saying nothing, doing nothing. This was common practise for them when they were together. The only movement between the two was belly scratches and eye rubbing. An eternity of blissful silence passed before Neji's uncle and caretaker called for him.
"Neji!"
Groaning, Neji sat up. "Mande?" He yelled back, rising to his feet. His bare feet padded against the wooden floor as he went to his uncle, leaving Sasuke alone to twiddle his thumbs.
Sasuke delved heavily in his thoughts in his friend's absence. Care to take a guess on who he was thinking about?
The same person who just texted him back.
The barbershop backing and the prominent voice of Billy Joel danced out of his phone's speaker, knocking Sasuke out of his thoughts.
Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more than I hoped for
Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time
Sasuke listened to the song before flipping open the phone to see who had messaged him, although he had set that ring tone for just one person. Maybe he made a mistake and set it as his regular ringtone. His heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened as he saw the sender's name.
Dobe.
His breath caught in his throat as he stabbed at the 'view' button. The text read:
Idfk im asleep.
Sasuke almost audibly laughed. His body was going into overdrive for such a simple illiterate response. His fingers still shaking, he tapped out a response.
Texting me while you're asleep? Damn, you're talented.
Less than two minutes ticked by when he got a reply.
Rite? I realy should be doin hw. lol
Sasuke snorted.
You do homework, dobe?
Fuck you. i have math.
Need any help?
like you could. it's calc
… Calc? As in, calculus?
yes teme. dont act so surprised I told you I was smrt.
Like a fox.
Egssactly.
English isn't your best subject, is it.
im better at it than math.
… You're shitting me.
no thats gross. Jajaja
Jajaja?
In mexico h is j. ha is ja.
Oh.
Yea.
"All right, I have to do chores." Neji's voice startled Sasuke. He looked up at his friend, shoving the phone into his pocket. "So," he continued, "get the hell out of my house."
"And go where?" Sasuke sniffed.
"Back to your house? How the fuck am I supposed to know?" Neji shrugged. "Just get out. I have to do Mexican stuff. Clean out gutters, scoop dog shit, sell meth."
Sasuke shook his head. "Fine, fine. Have fun selling your drugs."
"Hey, they're not mine." Neji grinned as he shoved Sasuke out the door.
Sasuke walked off of the porch and to the mailbox. He certainly didn't want to go to his empty house, and he was sure that Itachi enjoyed the privacy anyway. Sasuke pulled his phone back out and stared at it. He sighed, and flipped it open, repeating the process of finding Naruto on his phone. He pressed the green call button and started walking to the food market that was literally (and conveniently) across the street from Neji's house.
Naruto hardly wondered why Sasuke wasn't texting back.
But the fact that he still wondered irked him. "Stop," he told himself firmly. He pulled himself out of bed, his naked form there for all to see. He stretched and yawned. It was 3. Naruto groaned, and his hand ritualistically scratched his balls. Lovely.
He leaned back and heard his back crack. He was in the middle of pulling his arm back when his phone went off… repeatedly.
"Son of a bitch…" He muttered turning and snatching the phone. He opened it and hit the speakerphone button, not bothering to see who it was.
"What, what do you want? We don't serve cow tippers in the morning. Freedom toast is a possibility." Naruto grunted at the phone, quoting a movie. He kicked his drawers open, looking for somewhat clean clothes.
"… What?"
Naruto gritted his teeth. That smooth voice could only be one person. "Fuck, what do you want?" He hid the fact that he was happy it was him calling.
"A ride." Ever so blunt.
"Get me a bottle of tequila and maybe I'll consider it."
"I can't buy alcohol." He sounded slightly confused. Naruto liked this.
"Then no ride." Naruto found some socks. At least it was a start.
"Naruto…"
"What?" He yanked the sock on.
"I can help you with your homework…"
"What makes you think you can? Calculus, remember?" Naruto rolled his eyes. It looked like he was going to have to reuse underwear again. Where the fuck did that thong come from?
"I'm an Uchiha."
"Aren't you fucking confident."
"You know it, babe." Naruto smirked. He refused to let Sasuke hear him laugh.
"All right, all right. Where the fuck are you at?"
"The Lowe's by Neji's house."
"Easy enough. Let me get dressed. Don't sweat your sweet little tuchas off," Naruto teased.
"… What on earth is a tuchas?"
"Yer ass!" Naruto chortled and hopped over (his leg was halfway through pants) to end the conversation. He got a good earful of Sasuke's appalled protests, smartly replied, "Don't be a woman!" and pressed the red button.
He sniggered to himself as he continued to dress. He didn't completely acknowledge it, but he knew that he would be thankful for the raven's company.
Naruto pulled into the grocery store's parking lot, smoking a cigarette. Peering through the open passenger window through his sunglasses, he saw Sasuke making his way gracefully to the car. He noted the people staring; whether it was at Sasuke, the car, or Sasuke going to the car he didn't know. Naruto noticed that Sasuke was wearing Neji's clothes – the infamous favourite Led Zepplin shirt and too-big pants.
"You forgot a belt."
"Hello, to you too," Sasuke said sarcastically, putting his seatbelt on. "I didn't think I would need one."
"You're too skinny. Why wouldn't you?" Naruto put the car in gear, puffing on the cancer stick.
"I don't really care." Sasuke crossed his arms and looked out the window. The rushing air blew back his bangs. Out of the corner of his eye, Naruto could see Sasuke's profile.
As he drove, he compared his face and Sasuke's face. Sasuke's profile was very sharp and pale, a perfect of Naruto's soft and rosy complexion. Sasuke had a long, pointed nose with the slightest curve at the tip, with slightly sallow cheeks, making his cheekbones more prominent. Everything on his face complimented each other; even his eyebrows were thin and sharp.
Naruto took a deep, calming smoke. Letting the smoke out, he spoke softly. "You're very beautiful."
Sasuke looked at him, his jet-black hair falling back into his face. "Excuse me?"
"Quit putting your hair in your face." Naruto finished the cigarette. Driving with his elbow, he stubbed the burning filter out on the scoop between his thumb and forefinger on his right hand. He gritted his teeth in pain, letting out a low hiss. Once it was out, he flicked the butt out of the window and drove on.
Sasuke stared in horror. "What the fuck was that?" His tone was that of bewilderment and anger.
"Are you blind?" Naruto's hand was shaking. He drove with his left hand now, keeping his right at bay.
Sasuke couldn't stop himself. He grabbed the twitching appendage and inspected it. His eyes were filled with worry. "What did you do that for?"
"Wouldn't you like to know? It worked, so shut up." Naruto kept his eyes on the road, ignoring the simpering boy clutching his hand. He had done it for a reason, as he did all his stunts. Inflicting pain on himself made Sasuke forget about the compliment.
Sasuke traced around the burn with his long finger. He watched it turn red and he blew on it, trying to soothe the pain. "It's going to leave a scar," he commented, never looking away.
"Cool," Naruto said simply. He had made no attempt to rip his hand away from Sasuke's grasp, and they were almost to Naruto's house. It actually felt kind of good. Sasuke was cold, and yet again contrasted with his own passionate nature. Naruto was almost always warm. Sasuke was cold.
Naruto laced his fingers with Sasuke's, keeping him from going out the window as he flipped a bitch, going into his street. Finally, Naruto looked over at Sasuke. Sasuke looked back.
"Don't act like you're not confused."
"Quit ordering me around."
"Teme."
"Dobe."
Naruto only let go of Sasuke to park the car.
"I'm going to go run this under cold water." Naruto shook his hand at Sasuke. "Wait in my room or something." He led Sasuke inside and led him to his room. "I'm not sorry about the mess, live with it."
He left to the bathroom and shut the door. Might as well take a shit.
Sasuke stood awkwardly in Naruto's room. He had never been in there before. If he thought the unique smell of Naruto was overwhelming before, it was just mind-numbingly apparent now.
He sat on the blonde's messy bed and looked around. On the nightstand next to him there was a lamp, a phone charger, and two pictures in frames. Sasuke saw that one had a person completely ripped out of it. The only two was a baby and a woman. Sasuke assumed that it was Naruto and his mother. The second was of Naruto, but with a giant-breasted blonde woman and a white haired old man. Naruto wore a cheeky, wide grin as the man stared pointedly at the woman's breasts. She didn't notice then, because she was the only one looking at the camera, but Sasuke suspected that she noticed soon after.
Sasuke heard the sound of flushing and then water running. He sat in silence, waiting for Naruto to finish his business.
He walked into his room and sat next to Sasuke, the blister popped and shiny on his hand. Sasuke stared at it.
"So… I have to ask. What was with the hand holding?" Sasuke inquired, looking back up to Naruto.
"Is there a problem?" Naruto leaned back on the bed. His shirt crept up his torso, revealing a small portion of his tanned skin. He took his sunglasses off and chucked them to the side. His eyes were closed and his hands were behind his head.
"Well, no, but-"
"Then why are you questioning me?"
"Because it's completely unlike you."
"How do you know what's normal for me and what isn't? Maybe you should get to know me instead of forming an opinion based on the shit you hear." Naruto stayed calm and sharp, caustic with his words.
Although that was true, Sasuke was determined to win this little argument. "Don't bullshit me. We both know that you hate showing affection."
"In public and sober," Naruto added.
"Which you just were," Sasuke pointed out.
Their life seemed to be filled with long, awkward pauses.
"My backpack is over there." Naruto kicked his foot towards the closet.
"So?"
"Go get it."
"No."
"Get it now."
"Get it yourself, fatass."
"I'm lying down."
"I don't care. It's your shit."
"You're the guest."
"That doesn't make any sense. I'm the guest, so I shouldn't be doing anything."
"Well, you're already doing something."
"And what's that?"
"Bitching. So you might as well go get my god damned bag."
Sasuke scoffed, and lay down next to him.
"Isn't this funny?"
"What?"
"The second time we're in a bed together."
Naruto sat up. "Fuck you," he grunted as he shuffled to the closet. He walked in, snatched his bag and walked out.
Sasuke sat up as well, and began to clap.
Naruto cocked an eyebrow.
"Congratulations, you just came out of the closet." Sasuke's eyes sparkled with mirth, manifesting in a dirty smirk.
Naruto took the heavy calculus book out of the backpack and contemplated throwing it at him. Instead, he tossed it on the bed next to Sasuke and repeated himself. "Fuck you."
Sasuke allowed himself a tinkling laugh. "Come on, let's look at this." It was safe to say that he was having the best time he'd had in a while. He was a little scared, nervous, but he'd be damned if that hindered him.
Naruto took the book and opened it, then stopped. "Did you just … laugh?" He turned his head and looked at Sasuke, skepticism present.
"Yes."
Naruto chewed on his bottom lip, and then spoke again. "Sasuke Uchiha, the guy with a bug who made a nest in his ass… Laughed."
Sasuke narrowed his eyes and clutched the edge of the bed. He was beginning to get annoyed. "Yes. Is there such a problem?"
"Do it again." Naruto leered at him, a dog-like grin stretching his face.
"You wish," Sasuke grumbled, pushing his face away like a child.
"Do it."
Déjà vu flicked Sasuke's nose in a taunting way. "No, I'm not going to. Drop it and tell me about your math."
Naruto stared at Sasuke with a serious, business-like sheen in his eye. He made a silent vow to have Sasuke laugh again by the end of their little escapade together. Sasuke did not like this look, and shoved his face away again.
Naruto laughed as he looked back to the textbook. He pretended to listen as Sasuke explained everything he already understood, nodding and going "Oh" every once in a while.
In reality, he was thinking - plotting. He would talk to Neji later; he was the only one Naruto trusted. It was to him that he would confide in, tell him his growing secret.
Naruto was studying Sasuke. He studied his body language, his eyes, and his mouth. His pert mouth. Naruto noticed that every once in a while, Sasuke would lick his lips, or nibble on the bottom one when he was concentrating on what the book said. He was just too adorable.
Naruto grew more and more interested in Sasuke. He never made this vocal or noticeable – God forbid Sasuke should think that he had a chance.
But as the minutes grew into hours, Naruto found that he was growing more and more entranced with Sasuke. He could, Naruto mentally admitted shamefully, see just why all the women he saw around Sasuke were so fucking infatuated with him.
He had to admit, it was purely a physical thing.
For now.
Yep, just pure lust.
Probably.
The homework was soon finished. Sasuke had scripted it on the paper, nice and precise. Naruto looked on in disapproval.
"You are such a tight ass."
"Now where have I heard that before…?"
Naruto ground his teeth. He didn't understand why Sasuke was so keen on bringing up that Night. "Your brother, probably."
Sasuke stared poison-tipped daggers into the top of Naruto's stupid skull. Naruto flinched. "You stupid fucking bastard."
The mere insinuation that Itachi would be doing things like that to him was so fucking offensive to the point that Sasuke was reconsidering being in the same room with Naruto. He loved his older brother dearly and was not about to let some blond dick who thought he could say anything without repercussion get away with insulting the only family he had left.
"Don't you ever fucking even think anything about my brother in that nature. You have no FUCKING idea." Sasuke's voice never rose about a shout; he spoke through ground teeth and curled lips. He did not get up or move at all. He stayed, glaring angrily at Naruto, profane things going through his head.
"Sorry." Naruto muttered. He pulled at the carpeting and looked to his side, still never looking to see felt... guilty. He then felt something hard hit his head, and his vision went blurry as his skull went hollow. There was a dull throbbing on the very top of his brain. "What the fffuck…?" His turned his head swiftly upwards, immediately regretting it when the movement quickly made him feel dizzy. While one of his hands splayed along the floor, his fingers brushed the textbook that had fallen. Sasuke had dropped it on his head.
"Shut your fucking mouth." Sasuke was still stoic and angry. His upper lip twitched, forming a snarl. The adoration that was usually in his eyes, that Naruto was so disgusted with, was completely gone. They were as everyone else saw them: Cold. Empty. The sort of eyes a person would give another when they are about to reject them with their mind and body.
"Fuck you, bastard, I said sorry!"
"Fuck you, you don't mean it." Sasuke's arm lifted and he pointed dramatically at the fumbling blond.
"I do, too!"
"Fucking don't lie to me." Sasuke's voice was barely more than a thick whisper.
Naruto pushed himself up onto the bed with one hand. His other was clutching his head. He dropped his voice to match Sasuke's, as if he himself didn't want to hear what he was about to say. "If I didn't mean it, I wouldn't have said it. You should know me well enough to at least know that my words are never empty. If I say something, I fucking mean it."
Fiery cerulean eyes bored into sombre onyx ones. Both boys waited for the other to crack and beg forgiveness.
Sasuke chewed on the inside of his cheek. He was furious, but he wasn't one to let his emotions rule his actions.
But how dare Naruto call him a liar over an extremely serious subject? "I don't know how you could make such a crass 'joke' and not expect me to react."
Naruto looked down, clearly uncomfortable. He was a man who never had to own up to conflicts he began. "I didn't think-"
"Yeah, you didn't." Sasuke cut him off. The anger in his eyes lessened, and he grew less rigid.
"I'm sorry. Don't make me say it a third time or I'll be sent back to the plane of existence I crawled out from," Naruto joked, relaxing as well.
It surprised them both how comfortable they were with each other afterwards, Sasuke more so than Naruto. Sasuke was not one for socialising, not at all. There were business parties he attended where he was politely sociable, but that was to further improve his name's image. He was a quiet man at school; the only person he allowed in his bubble was Neji. Neji was his polar opposite in the way that he never shut up. Naruto and Neji went hand in hand as far as boisterousness went. Sasuke had once said that God gave him two ears for a reason –one for Neji to deafen and the other for Naruto.
Then, Naruto had looked at him like he was crazy, and said flat-out, "I don't talk to you."
Now, Naruto was clutching Sasuke's hand as though it were his lifeline. They lay on the bed together, talking, making jokes. Sasuke had came very close to leaning in and giving Naruto a short peck, but he stopped himself, afraid to ruin the moment the two were having.
Naruto was wishing that Sasuke would kiss him already so he could make a decision, once and for all.
Unfortunately, there was no way the other was making the first move.