Disclamer: I don't own anything, all characters and settings in this story are property of Shonda Rhimes. I repeat, I don't own anything. Not a single gosh darned thing...*sob*

I took a deep breath. What had I just done? Run through the hospital like a grief stricken maniac that's what. I tried to think back to who I used to be, the Teddy that had stood stone-faced at her best friend's funeral, the Teddy that would never let herself get carried away like this. But Henry, Henry. It hurt to even think of him.

"Why are you crying?"

I turned around to see the little girl once again. I realized I had completely ignored her the first time saw her. What was I supposed to tell her? That the person I loved most in the world was gone? That there was no happily ever after? You could get the happy part for a while, maybe even a long time if you were lucky but it would hurt all the more once it was taken way.

" I-" I cut myself off. I still didn't know what to say. I walked slowly to side of the child's bed and hesitantly sat down. The girl remained still, never saying a word or taking her eyes off of me.

"I- I- I'm c-crying because-" that was as far as I got before my long breaths turned into sobs, huge sobs I couldn't stop. I buried my face in my hands. It seemed like the only thing I could do. I stayed crying like this for at least two minutes before I felt a small hand on my back. I looked up with tears streaming down my face.

"Did you lose someone close to you?" said the oddly calm voice. Her brown eyes seemed to pierce right through me. I could only nod.

"I did too. I lost three people, my mom dad and my sister. We were in an accident today and I was the only one that survived," she continued in that calm voice of hers, as if that was something that happened to people everyday. My mind immediately went to Merideth and Alex. Of course this was the girl Alex had rescued. The girl showed no signs of breaking down as she carried on, "At first they wouldn't tell me what had happened to them. The nurses insisted I had to sleep. I forced the doctors to tell me when they came in, although I knew it all along." I was shocked. This girl couldn't be more than eight years old and she was talking like a full grown adult.

"Why aren't you sad then? Why aren't you crying and sobbing?" I demanded with a little too much force. It was years until I could admit to myself I envied this little girl who could sit here with a blank face and tell me about her family dying so casually.

The first sign of disgruntlement showed as her blonde eyebrows scrunched together and she frowned looking up into the ceiling as if she was trying to solve a complicated math rims of her yes turned red.

"I-" she cut herself off just as I had but I saw no sign of tears yet, "I-I just," she sighed, "I expected it. Mom, dad, Libby, they're gone. I knew it from the moment I woke up in the hospital. When they actually told me, it hurt. It hurt a lot. I cried a little bit, but it seemed like I had run dry. See I had brain cancer a year ago. They told my parents I would die. They didn't tell me but I overheard it. I didn't die though. And now after this, I'm still alive!" she laughed a little, a breathy hysterical laugh, "And sure, I remember when mom sang me lullabys and dad read me stories and Libby surprised me with candy when she came home from school. But- they're gone. And I can't do anything about it. Nothing, I can't do anything. So I don't cry. I sit but mostly, I remember. I remember them."

My mouth had fell open long ago and I made no move to close it as I stared at beautiful wise girl with a broken heart. I couldn't believe she had said such things an adult would find confusing.

"What's your name?" I said.

"Evelyn."

"Well," I said my eyes filling up with tears again, "I think we're going to be good friends."

She had talked and cried herself to sleep. I didn't actually think that was possible until I saw her do it. Of course if anyone had to skill to talk and cry yourself to sleep at the same time it would be Kepner. And all over something that wasn't even her problem. Looking past the auburn hair I could see her face was still streaked with tears as she slept peacefully. Well as peacefully as anyone could sleep sprawled on the hard plastic visitor's chair beside my bed. But April wasn't half as bad in her sleep as she was in real life, especially when she wasn't talking with that squeaky voice of hers. To be honest she was kind of pretty, although I would never say that to her face, or anyone else for that matter.

But I still didn't get it. How she could cry and sob for one and a half hours. It wasn't like she was responsible for Henry dieing like Yang or even part of the surgery like Lexie. I had even seen both of them in the past hour and they weren't sobbing, sure they were red around the eyes with an air of depression around them but not sobbing. And for Pete's sake it wasn't like she and Teddy were even close. So why was it that I had to hear almost two hours of "Teddy is such a good women, she doesn't deserve this" "Teddy's going to be devastated" "Henry didn't even see it coming". Why was it that this girl cared so much about things not even related to her? Is it called being too kind? Was her heart just really big or was she just crazy like most of the chicks in my life? Maybe it was that I didn't understand girls. But I think it was mostly that I didn't understand April Kepner. I probably never would.

Why was he staring at me? I had woken up a good fifteen minutes ago, had opened my eyes a little bit only to find him looking at me with a confused look. In my embarrassment I closed them and faked sleep for the past fifteen minutes. I sneaked a peak from the bottom of my lids to find him in the exact same position as the last time I checked. Either my face had a confusing math problem written on it or he had fallen asleep with his eyes open. If there was one person who would find out how to do that it would be Karev. That would be specially useful in one of Bailey's lectures. If the situation was different that thought might have made me laugh but the Henry and Teddy situation still hung deeply over me. I just believe it. Why had it happened? I had gone on and on about that to Alex for hours. That probably hadn't been the best decision, now he would think I was a bigger freak then he already did, if that was possible. No to mention the pounds of material he had to tease me with now. I could defiantly see "Rudolph the Rednose reindeer- on account of my red nose- in my future. But thinking back now I realized Alex hadn't been mean to me at all tonight. In fact, I hadn't heard him complain once while I babbled on and on. Very un-Alex like. Maybe he sustained an unknown head injury during the accident. But I guess he was only nice because his soft side came out. I had seen a few other occasions when this side had graced us with it's presance. I think I was one of the few people who knew or more like suspected that this softness was the real Alex and the tough exterior was only a show. Alex...is alright. He's great to some people, Izzie having been one of them, but for me no matter how fake his toughness was, it had hurt me on plenty of occasions. If Alex was different, things might have been different between us, but the same could be said for a lot of things. Although the thought was tempting, things would never be like that-like Izzie and him- between us. We were- we are too different. I shouldn't even be thinking of these crazy things. It's not like he even likes me what with the constant insults. I doubt this is a -throw rocks at the girl you like on the playground- situation. Alex is Alex, nothing can be changed. And yet as I tried to find sleep, I couldn't help thinking of what would-what could happen if things were just a little bit different.

There we go! Please review if you want me to continue this, things are getting pretty hectic! I hope I did my April/Alex shippers justice! Review!