CHAPTER TWO
I clutched at the bag heavy with the take-away order. I'd moved quickly through the streets darting to are usual takeout, placing my order and heading to the pharmacy to collect some burn cream.
I chatted with the receptionist, a woman I dealt with on an almost weekly basis as my condition continued to fluctuate and new drugs surfaced onto the market. It was my darkest secret and something I strove to keep from Valentine and Jonathan.
Re-entering the house wasn't easy, it involved taking multiple staircase until I reached the necessary doorway. Stuck without any of the Shadowhunters powers I was rendered quiet useless for any such theatrics like seeing casting runes to enter into the charmed building.
Panting, I brushed my hands across the oversized shirt which had been a cast off of Jonathan's and something I wore simply for the pleasure of narking him. Returning to the mundane world allowed for a very different sense of dress.
The kitchen remained just as I had left it and I set the hot bag onto the work surface allowing it to stand while I cleaned up the mess I'd caused. I scrubbed with the spray until the work tops were buffed sufficiently and then moved to collect the plates.
I dished out a healthy helping for Jonathan and Valentine onto the bone-china plating and two extra positions for any potential guests. Carrying the plates to the table, all that was left was to shove the packaging into the bin before I could begin my own meal.
Eating was complex.
I pulled open my designated cupboard and rummaged around until I found the rice crackers and peanut butter. I slipped a knife from the draw and cradled them in my arms as I retreated to my bedroom.
"Dinner's served!" I cried on the top of the landing before slamming shut my bedroom door.
I sighed in relief as I slumped against the door, tugging loose the clips that held in place the wig and pulling off the cap I set them beside me relieved of the itching they inflicted.
My hair had been falling out since I was fifteen, I was eighteen now and had learnt well just how to conceal this along with my the other symptoms of my illness.
The night rolled on and I tried to ignore the voice downstairs. I buttered two crackers and ate them in silence as I scrolled through the news pages on my laptop. It took me another hour to wash the blood from the wig and my scalp before I could at last pull myself under the sheets and be lulled to sleep.
The most unnerving thing about Jonathan was his following of me. He'd been trained for stealth and it had taken me years to be able to recognize his stalking. But without fail, whenever I would leave the house while he stayed here, he would follow.
I'd asked Valentine over it once, hysterical having confronted Jonathan who had viciously denied it. Valentine suggested Jonathan was protecting what was his, but I suspected it was more than that.
My morning routine was boringly simple. Wake up, shower, get dressed, pick up some fruit for the train ride and be out of the house no later than half-past six. I travelled across the city each day to get to work.
Today Jonathan wasn't even discreet about his stalking. He was sat fully dressed as I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen looking at me expectantly in a set of Mundane clothes.
"Good Morning" I addressed smiling as I withdrew a frying pan. "Bacon?" I asked as I moved towards the fridge.
"No. Not this morning Millicent. We are having breakfast out. Come on, quickly" he hurried his tone sounding bored and I racked my stare across his platinum bed hair wanting to comb it out.
"But …" I began to protest but he widened his dark eyes cutting my argument off before it had even started.
I snatched my coat off the hook and pulled it on fumbling with shaking fingers with the buttons of the Mac conscious of Jonathan's heavy stare.
"Where are we going, for breakfast?" I probed gently as he strode ahead of me towards the portal doorway.
"Don't worry Millicent, I have taken into account your ridiculous dietary requirements" he snorted grasping my hand as he yanked me through the portal with him.
I tensed hating the sensation until my feet hit the pavement and Jonathan didn't pause for breath as he pulled me forwards with him, looping his fingers in mine.
"I've got you all to myself now Millicent. Father's away. Although I remain under strict caution to play nicely with you. He's scared I might break you" he muttered stroking my hand with his thumb.
"You won't break me Jonathan. I wouldn't let you" I retorted my voice coming out stronger than I had expected it to and he smirked.
"Don't test me Millicent. My Father is very found of you. I hate to upset him" he laughed pulling me towards a small café which blended into the rest of the high street.
"When will you be going?" I asked trying to keep my voice light as I followed Jonathan towards a distant table in the back of the café.
"Why, are you scared I may be sticking around to affect you vacation time. I know you finish for your assigned leave in three days Millicent. I have a trip to make and will be requiring some assistance" he revealed pulling a chair out for me.
"And if I refuse?" I asked sitting and allowing him to push me in and he sped around to sit beside me.
"Pardon?" He retorted picking up the menu and his eyes skimming it, but his body remained tense. What would he do if I refused him, snap me in half?
"I have vacation plans" I muttered scanning the menu quickly feeling the table rock as he leant across to stare at me.
"Cancel them" he commanded and I swallowed.
"I have an appointment that can't be rescheduled" I tried again keeping my voice low, but I could already sense the rest of the dinners eyeing up the strangely attractive man.
"I don't care, Millicent I require your services. Now we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the difficult way. Either option will result in you coming with me" he snapped.
"I need a few days. To prepare things. I can't just disappear people will notice. I need things, items I'll be no use to you Jonathan without certain things, trust me" I protested. "And thanks for the offer but I've lost my appetite" I pushed back from the chair and stormed out of the café my head swirling in burning anger.
My life went through lapses of brief freedom, torn between the life I longed for, the life I pretended to live freely and the expectations of Valentine and Jonathan.
I glanced anxiously down at my watch as I hurried towards the train station desperate to make the first train out, it was the only way to guarantee a seat.
The streets were almost empty at this hour, sparing the rough-sleepers and a handful or early commuters. But Jonathan didn't even attempt to blend in with them as he came to stand brashly beside me at the platform.
"You've clearly forgotten your place in this household Millicent. When I say I am taking you to breakfast it is not a request it is a fact, one I expect to be followed through on" he snapped his arms bare and I wondered whether glamour was concealing his identity.
I remained looking ahead unable to think of a clever reply to annoy him.
"I brought you something. Try not to choke on it" he spat shoving it towards my chest his hands firm enough to make me stumble. Before I could respond he was gone from my sight.
I kicked at the platform tilting my head back in frustration.
I'd upset Jonathan. Something I would live to regret.
The train jerked into the station, late as usual and I glanced nervously at my watch as I elbowed my way towards the boarding doors. It's delay has meant we were picking up the business commuters in their ill-fitting suits.
If Jonathan was present he didn't make himself known and I did search the carriage desperately trying to pull away at any potential glamour he may be concealing himself with to no end.
Most people had easily found a seat after the initial burst to get inside the carriages but I lingered, standing in the void between carriages waiting for my stop, eager to leave the enclosed space. It reminded me of the dreams which still stung my mind, of untold nightmares.
I popped the lid of the polystyrene container that Jonathan had presented and smiled in surprise at the breakfast before me, with napkin and plastic cutlery to complement.
"Oh Jonathan" I whispered under my breath uncertain of what to make of the monster.
I forked a mushroom and slumped to a sitting position on the floor as I enjoyed my breakfast, my mind reeling.
Jonathan was nearly always unbearable. That was until he did something like this, which left me feeling overwhelmed in confusing emotions.
The day rolled on after that in a flustered stress as I ran from the station to make it in time to work, rolling in as parents hurriedly filled the school car park eager to detach themselves of their children.
Consumed with paperwork, scheduling, cleaning instruments and trying in desperation to aid the children with there piano practice the day was over within a blink of an eye.
Dragging myself home on aching legs and pulsing feet I considered just what I would be returning to.
When I was a child Jonathan would run amuck when his Father went away. Even more so when I was sent to see the other boy. Jonathan truly hated that, my Mother claimed he was unbearable to be around for days after.
The house was a brief walk from the station but the darkness was already beginning to fall and I considered the dinner options for this evening. Something which didn't involve to much attention would be a safe option. I had yet to learn how to divide myself into two people, and spent most of my time torn between avoiding Jonathan's raft and trying to do my real job.
I understood a certain amount of what world was hidden from the ordinary Mundane, and I appreciated Jonathan had told me far more than his Father had intended. That's what made Jonathan special, he was always upfront with me.
However Valentines love for me, involved clouding me in shrouds of protection hoping no Shadowhunter would ever even come to realize my existence.
Despite the grandness of the house I lived in the outside looked like the rest of the tired apartments in the row, stained by car-exhausts and with a wild garden.
But this house was quiet something else entirely.
It was charmed. In Mundane terms it was a magic, flying house. I personally like to consider it my own Tardis but that was perhaps influenced by watching to many re-runs of Doctor Who. Most of my initial childhood had been taken up lurking in the background of the Morgansten Manor and the small cottage in the valley never far from my Mothers side. Until I resurfaced back into the Mundane world to which I truly belonged and had to fall back into place in order to have any hope of survival.
I'd been doing a decent job at it to. Until Valentine brought Jonathan to see me and his infatuation with me resurfaced despite the time spent apart.
Jonathan had been present in my earliest of memories as my I grew up watching my Mother loyally serve Valentine. A rare job for a mundane but necessary, Valentine's house was full of servants to do his bidding and I was raised with the same expectation.
However things soon changed. I spent my first tender years close to my Mother sheltered from Jonathan, until Valentine went into hiding. The staff were dispersed and only my Mother stayed. She had little choice, she'd left the Mundane world behind her the moment she joined the serving staff and she raised me alongside Jonathan as she served Valentine spending most of are time in a tiny cottage in the valley.
Even then as a child Jonathan was focused on me. At first he was rude, he'd pick on me, hurt me. Then Valentine sent me away, he sent me to the Manor House to be with the other Jonathan. The name was the only similarity between the pair.
I spent a month in the Manor absent of my Mother and my Jonathan. The other Jonathan hardly acknowledged my presence and Valentine seemed endlessly frustrated. Which led to my abrupt return to the Valley.
My Mother seemed horrified by my return and her wide eyes searched my own desperate for information. But I retired quickly reluctant to have any sort of conversation.
That night Jonathan got his first marks. I remember his screams even now.
The memory jerked back away from me as I twisted the key in the door and pushed my weight against the stuck door. The door seemed fixed in it's frame and I took it at a run banging my shoulder into it and howling in pain as I did. I stumbled inside as the door gave in tripping over my feet as I clutched weakly at my pulsing shoulder which I swore was broken.
I clutched onto the counter and grunted as I tried to push back the burning tears. Perhaps not broken, but certainly dislocated.
No one was more use to broken bones than Jonathan, his training had been relentless and I would always watch him while I was meant to be studying entranced by his power.
My breath evened as I tried to separate my body from the pain controlling it enough to consider how to resolve the situation. Had Valentine been home he would have easily relocated the joint, but the thought of Jonathan touching me like that made me feel physically sick.
I'd watched enough television shows and documentaries to understand how one relocates a out of place joint but the thought of doing so without any form of pain suppressant didn't seem logical.
Pushing myself from the counter I used my good arm to move myself further into the kitchen reaching my personal cupboard. My hand patted down the surface reaching for my special box.
It was discrete, easily mistaken for a cosmetic bag, but it held a rather sinister concoction of symptom suppressants.
My breath hitched as I brushed my hands over the empty surface, where the pouch should have been. I'd only stocked up last night.
"Jonathan Chirstopher Morgenstern!" I screeched so loud my throat stung.
It took mere seconds for him to step out of the shadows a smile pulled over his handsome face.
"Now, now Millicent" he scoffed. "No need to be so angsty" he mocked.
I stared at him unable to comprehend what he'd done to look so smug.
"Although I do like the way you say my name" he decided licking his lips as his eyes scanned me. "Say it again" he commanded and I looked back blankly.
"What have you done to my bag, why have you been through my stuff?" I hissed clutching at my pulsing shoulder.
"Say it!" He shouted his chest flaring and I scanned the hunting gear, tight fitting and as dark as his eyes.
"Jonathan" I whispered.
"Say it Millicent!" He commanded.
"Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern" I spat out my eyes narrowed in anger.
"Ah, beautiful" he purred looking at me with wide eyes that seemed to search inside me.
"When I tell your Father that you've been going through my cupboard, that you've stolen …" I began but Jonathan cut me of with a thick laugh.
"When you tell him what Millicent. What will you tell him I've stolen? Won't that come at the risk of revealing your little, secret" he teased raising his eyebrows at the challenge.
"I've no secrets Jonathan" I lied standing up straighter at the challenge he presented.
"Oh Millicent, so naïve, so innocent, so fragile" he cooed stepping towards me and backing me into the fridge.
"Ask me Jonathan, you know you want to. Ask me" I shot as I felt him close the gap between us his feet pushing against my own.
"What, is wrong, with you Millicent?" He caved holding my stare as his hands hooked around my wrist. "Tell me, and I'll make this as painless as possible" he added giving my arm a gentle jerk which had me howling in pain.
"You already know what's wrong with me Jonathan. You follow me, you've been through my belongings, don't mock me" I spat jerking from his rough grasp and sobbing as I clutched my shoulder as the shooting pain.
"I want to hear it from you Millicent. I want to hear you say it" he seethed stepping towards me again his eyes narrow.
"I have, I have …" I broke of unable to utter the words that burned my throat. "You know what Jonathan, got to hell!" I screeched thumping my fists against his chest put he pinned them to my side.
"Why can't you say it?" He snarled. "Just say it …".
I couldn't. I wouldn't admit it to him. I couldn't be that weak. They could never know.
"No" I stated keeping my voice even.
His mouth pulled into a smile and he reached out to push a stray piece of hair behind my ear his fingers cold against my blushing.
"So beautiful" he muttered stroking away a burning tear.
"Beautiful?" I seethed. "Jonathan if you are hoping to impress me you should realise I won't swoon at beautiful. That's a very poor judge of character" I shrugged.
I watched his Adam's apple bob for a second as he swallowed his eyes gloriously wild for a moment and I thought he might take me there and then sending nervous shivers through me.
"We need to set your shoulder. Come here" he pulled at my belt loop his voice thick as I jolted into his chest and I looked up at his unusually open expression. He looked almost nervous.
I stood between his legs sandwiched between him and more work surface feeling my heart threatening to explode under his touch.
Jonathan's fingers were tender as they traced up my arm and hooked onto the t-shirt. A smirk tainted his face as his other hand moved up and the tore the fabric ripping it straight down the middle exposing my chest to him. I was relieved only monetarily that I hadn't gotten chance to remove my bra.
"I need to get a good grip" he explained his voice as soft as his fingers which padded over my flesh hooking up around my swollen shoulder blade.
"You'd always fix me. I remember Millicent, I'd come in after a day of training and you'd be there. Waiting for me. Even on the days when I wouldn't let you heal me, you'd sit there with you balms, so stubbornly insistent that if I wouldn't have runes I'd have to have something else" he reminisced stroking the strap of my bra making goosebumps spread over the path of his fingers.
"It was my job, it's still my job" I assured.
"No, it's more than that" he decided coming to set both hands on my limb preparing to push it back in place.
"Do you remember when I accidentally broke you foot?" I blushed as I recounted the memory.
"Do you remember what I did?" He probed his eyes dark.
"Yes, you … You kissed me. You were the first boy to do it, you stole my first kiss. You said you'd never had someone stand up to before. You told me you …" I broke of with a scream which ricocheted of the walls as my nails dug down into Jonathan hips as he forced my shoulder back into place.
I sagged against him my mind cloudy to with emotion as my shirt gapped causing my sore nipples to brush against the leather of his jacket. I clamped my legs together at the heat which began to pool.
"You broke my foot because I shouted at you as you were better at playing the piano than I was. So you dropped the metronome on my foot. And then I kissed you. Because I wanted you Millicent and you were forbidden which made me want you even more" he revealed pressing himself further against me his breath unsteady as the strays of bleach hair feel into his eyes.
Forbidden?
"That is enough Jonathan" Valentine commanded his voice stern and I heard the thud as he struck Jonathan across the face, hearing the splitting of his skin.
I gasped and then cried in horror as Jonathan fell back from me and Valentine glared down at me. I must have been a sight, my chest heaved as panic laced my veins, my shirt was hanging loose torn, my shoulder a crimson red and swelled to double it's usual size. My makeup smudged with tears and my lips puffy.
Jonathan stood back from me and looked submissively towards his Father his eyes dark.
"Millicent" he clipped his eyes stretching up and down me. "Fix this" he flounced his hand from me to Jonathan, unspecific of what he wanted fixing.
I nodded my head bobbing vigorously as I crossed my arms over my breasts not missing Jonathan's ogling.
"I returned for the parcel I had delivered this morning. I assume you have it" he snapped his fingers expectantly and it took me a few seconds to jerk into action looking around the room panicked.
"Parcel, yes parcel right" I gasped looking around the room not missing Jonathan mocking chuckles at my flouncing.
I moved from the kitchen hurrying towards were I expected the delivery would have been left if Jonathan was here to accept the parcel. As expected it was tossed carelessly onto the dinning table with a cluttering of post and my eyes darkened as I looked at the opened envelopes of everything addressed to me.
Jonathan's morning entertainment I see.
I snatched up the parcel and headed back to the kitchen but was only greeted by Valentine who had softened his eyes looking carefully down at my arm.
"Jonathan has gone to fetch you a healing balm" he addressed his eyes gentle with the love one would hold for a daughter.
"Will you be back?" I pressured.
"I will meet you and Jonathan later in the month" he answered with a sharp nod as he took the parcel and stepped past me. "Unless of course, either of you step out of line" he added as he walked along.
Authors Note:
I hope you all enjoyed this slightly longer chapter. I'd love to have some reviews so if you could find the time to leave me your thoughts I'd be so grateful.
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