Authors note: Thanks for the nice reviews. Real inspiring, and makes me want to write more :o)
Back at the station Elliot was sitting behind his desk starring at Olivia as she came in to the squad. Her eyes were red and she seemed very tense.
"You okay Liv?"
"He told her to tell the lady detective he enjoyed it" she said as she fell down on the chair by her desk
"Who is this guy Elliot? He did this to her to get to me?"
Olivia's heart was about to burst, Hilary had gone trough all that again just cause someone wanted to give her a message...
It wasn't the first time this had happened, she'd been there before in the case with Eric Plummer. He killed four people to get back at her for sending him to prison. She had ended up killing him to keep him from shooting a hostage, only to find out his gun wasn't loaded and that she'd killed an unarmed man. Olivia started shivering, her guilt from that case hadn't quite gone away and now she felt it again…
"El, I am not helping anyone. All I do is hurt people around me. So many life's lost and ruined because of me"
Elliot looked at her and sighed. He hated seeing his partner like this. She had a terrible habit of blaming her self and beating her self up everytime she failed to help victim, or everytime a perp was acquitted due to lack of evidence. She wanted to save the world and Elliot loved her for it, but it was no way of thinking if she wanted to continue this line of duty.
"No Liv, that's not true. You are not hurting the people around you, the perp is. All you do is try to help people Liv"
She didn't listen; she wasn't even looking at him.
"I can't do this anymore" she said as she got up and walked towards Cragen's office.
"Hey Liv, where you going?"
She didn't react; she had made up her mind. But just as she was about to enter Cragen's office and tell him she was done with this unit, he came rushing out the door.
"Benson, Stabler! I need you in here now!"
Elliot jumped out of his chair and walked quickly towards Olivia, they gave each other a quick glance before they entered his office.
Cragen was standing in front of his desk, looking at Olivia.
"How's the case comming along?"
Olivia scratched her temple and sighed "Not too well captain, not too well. Captain I'm, I was just about to, I mean I was gonna ask you, If" Olivia was stuttering, Elliot jumped in to save the conversation.
"What's up captain? You got something?"
Captain gave Olivia a last glance and then turned his eyes to Elliot. Olivia just starred at Elliot and could not believe he'd just interrupted her. Cragen continued
"I was talking to some of the guys working at the front desk today, and one of them asked me how Internal Affairs investigation against one of my detectives was coming along."
Elliot and Olivia looked like a couple of question marks.
"Yes, that was what I was thinking, so I asked him what he meant by that. He told me that two weeks ago an officer claiming he was from internal affairs came up to the front desk asking for one of our officers files"
"And why is this significant Captain?" Elliot dared himself to ask.
"Because he specifically asked for your files Olivia"
Olivia looked confused, her big brown eyes starred back at Cragen
"He did what? Captain, come on, they can't just burst in here and demand to see my personal files. Besides, I didn't even know I was under investigation"
"You're not Olivia, that's probably the bad news. The people at IA don't know anything about this"
Olivia was still puzzled, she shook her head "Well, they didn't give it to him did they?"
Cragen just nodded, and Olivia froze. It must have been their perp, that's how he knew she'd been working Hilary's case.
"What? Who was it?" she asked, knowing Cragen probably couldn't provide the answer.
"We don't know. But he signed the log Jon Smith."
"No Id?" Elliot asked as he gave Olivia a worried glance.
"He didn't need an Id, he had a police badge"
Olivia was furious! "What the hell kind of system is this?? Allowing someone to walk in, grab confidential files and then walk right out without leaving a trace??"
Cragen didn't know what to respond; he just looked at Olivia and tried to figure out how to explain this fatal error in the system
"Liv, he had a badge and said he was from IA. The people at the front desk have the strongest respect for them. And you know how you don't want to argue with IA, I guess they didn't want to ask any questions."
Olivia closed her eyes and rubbed her hand across her forehead.
"I can't believe this" she whispered, but then looked up at Cragen and repeated the words, shouting this time
"I can't fucking believe this captain!!"
Elliot grabbed her shoulder, well aware she could easily smack his hand away from her "Liv Relax. We'll find out who he is. We'll get him, you'll see"
And just as he thought, Liv quickly turned around and pushed his hand away from her.
"Shut up El. How do you know that? You don't know that. Stop talking to me like I'm an idiot"
Elliot silenced, it was nothing he could say to her when she was in this mood.
Olivia rushed back to her desk; Elliot walked right behind her, looking like a humiliated dog. He sat down by his desk and starred at her.
"WHAT??" she snapped at him
He turned his eyes away from her and back to the papers on hid desk.
"Olivia Benson?"
Olivia quickly turned to the voice behind her "WHAT??"
The delivery guy jumped to the side, rattled by the angry tone of her voice.
"Uhm, I'm sorry, but I have a special delivery to a detective Olivia Benson" he said and handed her a bunch of roses.
"Flowers? From who?"
"I don't know mam, I just deliver them" he replied and got out of the squad as fast as he could.
Olivia held the flowers towards Elliot "El, look at this!"
"There's a card Liv" he said and grabbed the card, read it and then looked up at Liv.
"What does it say?" she asked and reached her hand out, waiting for Elliot to give her the card.
"Olivia, are you sure you wanna work this case?"
"Just tell me what the card says" she once again reached her hand out, this time trying to grab the card away from him. Elliot drew his hand back.
"No Liv, you should go home"
"Elliot!! Give me the damn card!!" she shouted and grabbed the card from him.
-Ahh Olivia.
Flowers to my girl,
this time you decided to believe her.
Next one on my list
she also killed her rapist.
She didn't get the help she needed from you,
think she's gonna go all crazy stalker on me too? –
Olivia's chin started trembling
"Damn him Elliot! Who is this guy?" she said silently while reading the note over and over again
"Well, we know one thing for sure. We're not looking for a poet" Elliot said with a vague smile
Olivia gave him an angry look, before her eyes found their way back to the letter. She felt herself starting to sweat while she desperately tried to figure out who this guy could be and who his next victim was. But she couldn't keep her mind clear and she felt herself loose control of her emotions
"WHO IS THIS? WERE THE HELL IS THAT DELIVERY GUY, I NEED TO QUESTION HIM! ELLIOT, DON'T JUST SIT THERE, DO SOMETHING!!" she shouted.
"Liv, don't lose it" Elliot whispered to her as Cragen came over to her.
"Benson. You need to hold it together, or I am taking you off this case"
"No worries captain, I am done here" she said and went to her closet and started packing her things.
Elliot and Cragen looked at each other as Elliot went over to Liv and gently touched her shoulder "Liv, you don't have to do this..."
"Get the hell away from me" she oozed and pushed his hand away yet again.
Elliot had had enough and he raised the tone of his voice "Why do you always do this? You can't just up and quit every time you feel threatened"
Liv quickly turned to Elliot
"You think THAT is what this is about? Then you are more ignorant than I give you credit for"
Cragen rolled his eyes, and realized he had to separate them. They were like teenagers when they started arguing. "Just like the kids I never had" he thought to himself and sighed.
"Olivia!"
Olivia turned to look at him
"Olivia, I have said it before, but I see I need to repeat it. You can't throw away the good you've done and the good you'll do over one mistake."
"MISTAKE! Mistake Captain? You are just as bad as him" she burst out and looked over at Elliot.
Elliot looked up from his desk with eyes full of wondering.
"What'd I do?" he asked loudly
"Shhh Elliot, not now" Cragen snapped back at him, then turning to Olivia again.
"Captain. It is not just one mistake anymore. People are dying because of me. Women are being victimized because of me. I can't stay here if that means that the perps I get, go out again and hurt people because I did my job" she said and turned to Elliot
"You see Elliot. THAT'S why I can't handle this anymore. Because THEIR life is threatened. Do you really think I would run because of my own safety? Wow, don't you think I would have left years ago if that was the case? Do you really find me that selfish? Jesus El, I thought we were best friends"
Elliot looked at her and sighed "I'm sorry Olivia. I just know that I would have been spooked by this guy if I were you"
She gave him a sarcastic smile, and raised one of her eyebrows
"If you were me? You mean, if you were a woman? You've always been such a sexist"
Cragen once again had to stop them
"Guys, if you don't cut it I am taking you both of this case. We are not near finding out who this guy is and he has another victim. He mentioned stalking? Who ended up stalking her attacker?"
Olivia gave Elliot an angry look, smashed her closet door shut and sat down by her desk in rage. Then she noticed a couple of sneakers under her desk
"What's this? Who put these here? They yours?" she asked Elliot
"No, not mine" Elliot answered, still a little rattled from Olivia's anger towards him.
"Cragen, do you know anything about this? You know who put it here?"
"No, I don't know Liv"
Olivia studied the sneakers to she if she could recognize them. Then she noticed a note inside one of the shoes
-Do you think she still sleeps with these at night?-
She immediately remembered Harper Anderson, the woman who'd been so affected by her rape she started sleeping with her running shoes on.
"Oh my God, it's Harper Anderson. Remember, she was stalking her attacker because we couldn't gather enough evidence to keep him locked up," she said and started looking around at the people in the squad room
"Who put these here?" she asked
No one answered; everyone just gave her a quick glance before they went back to their business.
"Who the hell put these under my desk? Answer me damn it!! Someone must have seen something!!" she shouted. Cragen gently touched her shoulder
"Liv, take it easy. No one knows. You and Elliot go out and find Harper. I will go trough the surveillance tapes"
Liv and El rushed out of the office
"Two victims Elliot. Both my cases, and both ended up killing their attacker cause the legal system failed them, cause we could not help them" Olivia said as they walked towards the car. That was the last thing they said to each other. The atmosphere around them was still affected by their previous argument, and both their minds were caught up in trying to figure out who this guy was.