Reflections

Chapter 3

OK, let's see…nope green rider isn't mine yet.

Beginning A/N: I'm sorry if anyone got a little lost in last chapter's pov shifts, I had border lines on the word document that did not show up when uploaded. Thanks for the positive reviews, the favs, the follows, and the views.

Five days. It had been five days since his wife and queen died. Five days since his children had died, their life stolen before they had even been born. He knew he should feel more grief, but he couldn't. While Estora had been his wife, he had never felt more than fondness for her.

He did feel grief for his lost children, but it was the grief of what could have been. Of what he would never know.

Zachary's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his study door. Fastion opened it slightly and peeked inside to see the king nod before ushering in his visitor. Laren had arrived.

Finally, he thought. He had summoned her nearly a bell ago, intending to get to the bottom of her apparent animosity towards Karigan, or rather, her animosity toward Karigan when she was around him.

"Sire," she said, bowing, "my condolences."

"Thank you Laren, but we have matters to discuss, and that is not one of them."

"Moonling," she said, adopting a more sympathetic tone, "are you sure, if you need more time."

"I have had enough time Laren, I have a country to rule on the brink of war, my grief can wait."

"Of course sire," she said, though her tone was disapproving, "what did you wish to speak of?"

"Firstly, we need to discuss your attitude toward Karigan."

"Attitude sire?"

"Don't bandy words with me Laren, I've seen the disapproving glances you've given her in my presence, particularly when either of us does something kind for the other."

Laren's face whitened slightly, though out of fear or anger he could not tell. She did however have the courtesy to look chagrined, but did not respond.

"You have made your arguments quite clear why you think we shouldn't be together, and I have heard them. From this point forward, however, you will keep your approval or lack thereof to yourself. Understood?"

"Yes sire."

"Now, onto other-" he cut off as the door opened again to admit Willis, he glimpsed Karigan outside as the door closed, but for once, it was not she who held his attention. The weapon looked to Zachary, face grim and gave one shake of his head before moving to the corner.

Laren watched Willis in confusion, and was surprised to note a tear streaked Karigan outside. She turned to Zachary to ask what was happening only to find him white faced and quivering with rage. With his jaw clenched and expression hard, he appeared dangerously imposing. This was not her Moonling. This was her King. And with his glares, he was angry. Very angry. At her.

Karigan awoke early, after a long night of tossing and turning. She groaned, then decided she may as well make her time useful and go find Drent, or see if the weapons would teach her more staff fighting.

As she moved to her wardrobe, she couldn't help but think what had kept her awake. Him.

Five days. Five days since the queen's death. Five days since he had lost his children. Five days since she had held him in his grief. Five days, and all she had been able to think of was him. Of how it had felt to hold him. Of how it felt to be needed by him. Of how much she still loved him.

She sighed, they could never be together, and yet didn't he have a right to know. She felt as though if she didn't say something soon she would burst. Keeping these feelings bottled up would only hurt them both.

She dismissed such thoughts as she finished dressing, not bothering to comb her hair as she planned to train for most of the day. A knock sounded at her door as she was buckling on her sword belt. She quickly cracked it and peered out surprised to see a weapon beyond. She opened the door to let Willis inside.

"Good morning Willis."

"Good morning."

"Is everything alright?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean?" she asked, beginning to worry, "Is the King?"

"The King is fine."

"Then what?"

"The King had sent you a number of letters before the expedition, did you receive them?"

"What kind of letters? Letters for me?"

"If you had then you would know," he said, his face turning grave.

"What are you talking about, did Zachary put you up to this?"

"No, but we told him I would ask you. The king wrote you letters expressing his feeling, and apologizing for what he said atop the tower."

"And I didn't get them because?"

"I don't know, Captain Mapstone was supposed…" he trailed off, face becoming thoughtful for a moment before becoming more grave, "Follow."

He turned and walked from the room, leaving a flabbergasted Karigan with no choice but to follow. As they swept through the rider wing, several younger riders stared at the once in a lifetime site of a weapon in their midst. Karigan, with nothing to do but follow, thought over what Willis had said.

Zachary was writing me love letters? The thought was strangely satisfying. But why didn't I get them? And what was the captain supposed to… It hit her like a blow from Drent in the practice ring. She stumbled into a nearby chair, causing Willis to look back in concern, then sympathy. She quickly recovered and began to follow again, Motioning Willis to a faster pace. The captain was supposed to deliver them, but she didn't. Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY? She marched on, oblivious to all but Willis leading her, grief and anger warring over her emotions.

They reached Zachary's study minutes later where Willis motioned her to wait before he turned to enter. As the door closed, she glimpsed Captain Mapstone's confusion, and saw the king whiten in fury. All was deathly silent for a few short moments, and then the shouting began.

Zachary sat back in his chair, weary from his argument. He had tried to calmly lecture Laren, but it had degenerated into an all-out shouting match between the two. An argument he had won. Laren stood before him, tear streaked and quivering, as he considered what to do. After several moments of silence, he reached a decision.

"Laren, you have served my family and the crown faithfully for many years. Except for this one incident, you have shown exemplary service. Therefore, I will not demote nor dismiss you." He paused as she breathed a sigh of relief, then continued, "However, Laren, punishment is in order. All of the lords and lady governors are here with the exception of Lady Governor Coutre. Therefore, you will take several of your junior riders and carry the news of the Queen's death to them."

"What do you want me to say?" she asked, voice wavering.

"You will have to think of a something. You will also use the time to think of a way to apologize both to myself and to Karigan. If your apology is suitable, you will have regained my trust, if it is not, you will continue to run messages until it is. Understood?"

"Y-Yes sire."

"Good. Dismissed."

As she turned to leave, he called to her, "Laren, send Karigan in."

She had been waiting outside the door for half a bell when the shouting finally stopped. She had been unable to make out the words, but it sounded as though the king and the captain were each giving as good as they got.

As the shouting stopped, she hoped the Captain wouldn't be punished to harshly. She was sadder that the captain had betrayed her and not trusted her than she was angry, but she hoped the captain had a reason.

She was jolted from her reverie to see the captain walk out, tears streaming down her face. "The king would like to see you," she stammered, before turning and fleeing down the corridor.

Bracing herself, she walked inside, Fastion closing the door behind her, and beheld the king, eyes brimming and a weary expression on his face. Seeing his face light up at her approach, she decided that she should speak to him as a woman and not as a rider.

"Zachary," she said, causing him to jump slightly in surprise that she had used his name, "Willis said…," she trailed off.

"Yes, Laren…Laren took them and burned them."

"Why?"

"She thought that if you and I had a relationship it would hurt the kingdom, and decided it was her place to intervene."

"And the captain, is she…?"

"Don't worry, I've given her a long and difficult messenger errand and orders to think of apologies as punishment."

"Oh Zachary," she said, coming round to place a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I'm sorry that you've been hurt."

He froze for a moment, surprised at her words, before turning to her, "Karigan, I want to ask you something."

She tensed, knowing what he was going to ask, "Of course sire."

"Do you love me?"

There it was, the question that had been haunting them both for nearly three years now. The question that she had at some times been tantalizingly close to answering aloud. Did she? Undoubtedly, but was she ready to say it? Was she ready to take that risk?

"Yes."

He was stunned, he had not expected that answer, not after these years.

"Truly?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes, I always have, it just took me a long time to realize it."

"You never said anything?"

"You know why I couldn't."

He sighed and nodded, remembering their positions, his betrothal. He had hated it every day, but could do nothing.

"So what happens now?" she asked, biting her lip with worry.

"Now, we find a way."

"Are you sure, would the lords approve?"

"They wouldn't have much of a choice. Every other noblewoman excepting the Golden Guardian's daughter have been wed, and she is courting Alton D'yer. Which leaves you, as knight of the realm, being the only woman of rank left unwed. Besides, I will tolerate no other. They will allow me a bride of my choosing now that the bride they chose…" he trailed off, growing solemn for a moment.

"Zachary, if you need more time, I understand," she said concernedly, seeing his somber expression.

"No, I have things I must arrange soon. I must make the counsel bend, I must prepare for war, and I must ask your father's permission."

"Must you? I mean, you are the king."

"It's tradition, and proper."

"Just one more thing," she said, barely containing the glee and surprise in her voice, he would fight for her, they could be together, they would have their chance.

"What is it love?" he asked, joyful that he could call her that now.

"You haven't asked me," she said with mock sternness, "and I do not appreciate you making plans to wed me without asking me first."

He colored with embarrassment and knelt before her, not noticing Willis opening the door. He looked up to her to see her flushed and breathless with anticipation. Their eyes locked, reflecting each other's love as he took her hand.

"Karigan Galadheon. Light of my Heart. Will you marry me?"

A moment passed, and then another as she didn't answer, instead drawing him up to stand and meeting his eyes for a moment. Then diving in for a kiss. Each put their years of unspent passion into the kiss, making it deep and leaving both breathless and flushed when they broke apart, a twinkle in Zachary's eyes.

"I take it that's a yes."

"Of course you big oaf," she said with a grin.

They leaned together for another kiss, but were interrupted by applause, the both jumped and peered over to see several dozen weapons clapping, including, ostensibly, Fastion.

Zachary laughed and said, "Alright you've had your fun, away with you."

The weapons bowed and did as they were bid, but not without grins and a cheer that none would later ever admit to. They fell into their embrace once again, barely brushing lips before the door opened again. Neither moved, simply looking over to see a stunned Ty standing awkwardly just inside the door.

Rider perfect quickly recovered enough to rapidly say, "I ran into master Galadheon three days outside the city, and raced back after telling him. Master Galadheon insisted upon coming here to-"

"When will he be here?" Karigan asked, still in Zachary's embrace. Neither cared to leave the comfort of the other's arms despite the unexpected interloper, they would be able to be together soon enough anyway. The next person to walk through the door was another matter. They jumped apart, but not soon enough, as Stevic Galadheon swept inside, and it he had seen them.

"Now," Ty squeaked from the corner before bowing, turning, and fleeing the room as quickly as decorum allowed. His footsteps could be heard quickening to a run as the weapons closed the doors, leaving Zachary, Karigan, and her father, his expression alternating between joy, confusion, anger, and surprise.

Ending A/N: Well, I'll bet no one expected that. I may need to do some explaining. First of all, saying the noblewomen were all married soon after he was makes sense as politically, since the king was unavailable, they would have had to settle for less. Secondly, I decided to have their relationship start to take off rather early, because in this story, they will be in all-out war soon, and I want them married before then. They will still be apart for a while because there are a few obstacles still, the lords and Karigan's father to be specific. Plus, I always felt that when their relationship does happen, it would blow up quickly and suddenly. Please rate and review, and try to guess how my ending plot twist will affect the next chapter.

P.S. I just thought of something. To those of you who do like Estora, think about this, when Mrs. Britain rites the next books, when (not if, better be a when) K&Z get together, Estora will have to be knocked out of the picture somehow, and I suspect a death.