Chapter 3: I Am Very Special Cuz There's Only One of Me

Memo: BAHAHAHA!!! YAY!!! RENO!!! *^^* "I'm OUTTA HERE! SCREW YOU!" XDDD this chapter gives away my secret love ... ELLIPSES!! XD ...:P ((Just like Hikaru-sama loves Kuma-chan. 3))

Your pOv

You wake up to see the clean white ceiling of a very familiar room. Your real room. Your home. A warm, fuzzy feeling wells up inside of you, and then you remember what just happened and it runs away.

You beat up one of your best friends...whoops. You let your emotions control you again. But before you can get up and change and go apologize, the door to your room opens.

"Feeling alright?" Riku asks you. You nod a little.

"I feel really bad, I'm so sorry!" you say quickly, your throat closing up. "Is he alright?"

"He's okay, just a bunch of bruises and a black eye and slightly busted lip."

"Ohhh noooo," you groan, feeling even worse.

"It's okay, it's not as bad as it sounds, I promise."

"I...wasn't thinking straight," you admit.

"I could tell. Rei..." Riku puts his hand on yours and squeezes it a little. "...You're hiding something, and I can tell. Please-"

"You don't understand, Riku," you say quietly. "I don't know what to say to you. I'm afraid."

"Here we go again..."

You raise your eyebrows slightly as Riku shakes his head, smiling.

"You're afraid of too much, you know?"

"I...this is different," you insist, smiling back.

"Now I'm REALLY curious."

You resist looking into the tempting aqua eyes staring at you pleadingly, and instead you close your own eyes and lower your head.

"You said you would give me food when I woke up," you say, a grin tugging at your lips.

"Oh, come on, don't do this to me," Riku says, laughing.

"Please? I'm hungry. I'm starving, look at me."

You consider for a moment showing him your emaciated ribcage, then remember the piercing and the slightest stretch marks. Nope. Definitely not.

"Rrr, fine. You win."

You finally lift your head up and open your eyes. Riku looks at you with an amused look on his face. He's cute when he's amused. Completely irresistable.

You bring your lips to his in what feels like the first time in forever. There's something magic about this place...this place he puts you in. You feel so warm... Does he feel this way, too?

Ooo...you had forgotten how good of a kisser he is. (XD)

And then your stomach growls as if to interrupt, and you both burst out into laughter at the weirdness of it all.

"Alright, food, I get it," Riku jokes. Picking you up bridal-style again, he carries you downstairs and lays you on the couch. "Just wait here, okay?"

"Yessum," you reply, smiling. You rest your head on the arm of the couch and sigh a little. You can't help but feel that warm, fuzzy feeling inside you right now. Despite everything that's happened to you, it's incredible that you can still feel love as you do. Maybe those things only happened to strengthen your feelings.

Closing your eyes, you think of all the things that have not been said.

A...baby...

It's still a scary thought to you. That was going to be your future. But because you didn't take care of yourself, that was...changed. There's a lesson you can learn from that, isn't there?

The matter of actually telling Riku about it is scarier, though. You don't want him to be sad, not after getting together again! You don't want him to feel what you felt.

"Rei, you awake?"

You open your eyes to see Riku standing over you.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you reply, smiling. "Just thinking."

"Maybe you should start thinking out loud so we know what's going on in that head of yours," says a voice. You look over at the doorway to see Kairi and Sora standing there. The first thing you notice is Sora's black eye.

"Ohhh, Sora," you whimper, standing up shakily. "I'm so, so, so sorry. Please, can you forgive me?"

"Yeah, it's okay. Heh, I kinda deserved some of it, I guess," he replies, scratching the back of his head.

"Are you sure? I'm so sorry," you repeat. Your knees are shaking. You're so weak...

"We're just glad to have you back," Kairi says, smiling sincerely. "I missed you bunches."

Unable to stand any longer, you flop down on the couch. "I missed you all, too. Really, really badly."

"We'll make sure nothing like that ever happens again," Sora says quickly. You can't help but giggle.

"It had better not," you murmur.

Before anyone can say anything else, Riku comes in with food. Finally...

Kairi's pOv

You watch in silence as Rei murmurs a "thank you" and starts eating, taking tiny bites at a time. She's always been really thin, but now she's just...bone...

"So, Riku said your voice brought him back," Sora says, sounding intrigued.

"Yeah," Rei whispers, still taking tiny bites.

"Have you ever done anything like that before?"

"No, not that I know of...I wish I had known earlier, though..."

You notice that Rei's eyes get watery. Does she mean her sister and friend...or something else?

"I always thought you had a pretty voice, Rei," you admit.

"Thanks," she says sincerely, smiling modestly.

"Sing something," Riku says suddenly, a quizical look on his face.

"Huh?"

"Sing something. Anything."

"Umm..." Rei sets down the unfinished biscuit--the only thing she's eaten at all--and thinks for a moment.

"What are you-"

Riku silences Sora with a stern glance.

"Um...um..." Rei's face starts to turn red with embarassment. "Ummm...oh, okay...Someday, when I'm awfully low, when the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you and the way you look tonight. Oh, but you're lovely, with your smile so warm and your cheek so soft, there is nothing for me but to love you just the way you look tonight..."

Her face is beet red, but you can't understand why. She...is...AMAZING. You've never heard a voice like hers before.

"She's got a gift," Sora says as you clap. Rei blushes a little more and resumes eating.

"Don't eat too fast there, Rei," you joke. She looks at the food and realizes how little she's eaten.

Then you notice this distant, sad look in her eyes, and you seem to be the only one who notices it, because Riku and Sora are talking about what happened at Hollow Bastion again.

"Rei, you wanna come over to my place today?" you ask. She considers this for a moment.

"Okay, sure, thanks," she replies at last.

Maybe you can get her to tell you something. After all, she confided in you before, as did Riku, and you've kept everything they've said secret, even from Sora. Of course, he doesn't notice it. You're just that good.

)()()()()(

Your pOv

You finally finish eating everything. You are completely stuffed. You haven't eaten that much since...well, since you were last here, really. Sad, yes, but true.

Now...on to Kairi's house...

You know you can trust Kairi. She's proven herself. So...you're thinking maybe it's safe to tell Kairi what's happened now. You hope.

"I'll see you later," Riku says, hugging you goodbye. You nod, squeezing him tightly. You never know when the last time you hug him might be. Or kiss him. Or even look at him. Death has taught you that lesson, and it's one you know you'll never forget.

With a last kiss, you depart with Kairi to her house. You remember your first day on the islands, when you came here. You knew nothing then. Ignorance truly is bliss.

"So..." Kairi sits down, and you do the same. "...Rei, you know you can trust me. Please, tell me what happened."

You lower your head slightly. "I...need to think about it first."

"I understand."

Although you nod, in your mind you think, *Oh no you don't.*

As you both sit in silence, you try to organize the many thoughts that are coming to your mind. What to tell first...what to tell last...what not to tell at all...if you should even give in to telling her in the first place. The taste in your mouth becomes more bitter as you think harder.

"Rei?"

You lift your head to see Kairi looking a little confused.

"Are you...anorexic?" she asks.

"I guess I probably am again, aren't I?" you say, feeling sicker than ever. It doesn't help that you ate so much...

"Do you even know how much you weigh?"

"...I think at one point I was down to just a little less than a hundred. That first week...being home...and it didn't help that hours after I got home, my sister and best friend died, you know?" You swallow hard as the look on Kairi's face becomes a little more disturbed, then she gasps.

"You still have those earrings," she giggles, smiling brightly. You can't help but smile back.

"Yeah, I definitely kept everything," you say, twirling your ring around your finger. "You guys actually got me to wear jewelry. I never used to before."

"It can be a beautiful thing," Kairi jokes. Your smile grows wider, then fades with the reality of her words. Life is what you make it, isn't it?

"Life can be a beautiful thing..." you whisper. Kairi frowns.

Kairi's pOv

Geez...what happened to Rei? She's always been mellow, but not depressed. She even admitted to being anorexic...

"When I got home...I...well," Rei says, wringing her hands nervously. You can see tears in her eyes. "Well...like...two weeks later...I...y-you have to promise not to tell Riku this!"

"Rei, I promise, I won't," you say honestly. You know that whatever she's about to say must be pretty difficult to say, so passing it on as gossip wouldn't be right. Not even to Riku.

"I mean, I'll tell him eventually...if...I can...when I'm ready to, but..." She sighs shakily. "...Anyway...I found out I was...I...got..."

Rei is shaking terribly. "You don't have to say-"

"I...I need to tell someone this," she insists. Sighing once again, she wipes tears from her eyes. "I...was pregnant."

You can't help but gasp a little. "You did?!" Aw...that would've been kind of cute if there would've been different circumstances there...

"Y-yeah," she whimpers.

"Rei..." Argh, now you're REALLY mad at Sora. "But, wait, that wasn't that long ago..."

"And...I...didn't take care of myself like I should've...and...the baby...it...I..." She inhales deeply. "I had...a miscarriage."

At her own words, she bursts into tears, doubling over.

"Rei..."

"That was his kid, Kairi! His kid! What's he going to say when..."

She doesn't finish her sentence. Despite this, you get up and walk over to her, hugging her tightly.

"Rei, I'm sure he'll understand..." you say softly.

"But what if he doesn't? Kairi...don't be stupid like me. Please."

"You're not stupid, you just made a mistake. That's what people do. And they learn from them. ...Well, most people do. Anyway, I don't think Riku will hate you for this. He'll be sad and a little miffed that you kept this from him, but he'll get over that really fast, I swear. He has you back, and right now that's all he cares about. Promise."

"...My sister and friend...they'll be mad, though. They don't know either." Rei wipes her eyes, which turns out to be pointless, seeing as she just cries more. "My parents were happy when it happened...and...they probably told my sister about what's happened. That would be my guess."

"Rei, Rei, Rei, you need to relax about this," you say. "It's your problem, so it should be your decision whether or not to tell someone and when to tell them. Just like now. You could've not said anything, and I really wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. You know, without physically hurting you, of course. And then you could've sued for assault."

Rei lets out a weak laugh. "You think...?"

"I do, actually."

She sighs shakily, wiping her eyes again and again. "...No offense, but I really want to go home now."

"I understand. Riku won't be there, though." Rei looks at you quizically. "He has a job, you know. A volunteer at a kid's shelter."

"Is it like the YMCA?" Rei asks. Now it's your turn to look at her quizically. "It's a place for kids and people to stay for a little while while they save up some money."

"Yeah, only this is kids only."

Rei's smile falters. "He...would've been so happy..."

"Rei, come on. It's over. Let's just get you home, okay?"

She nods, silently getting up from the couch.

)()()()()(

Later that day...

Riku's pOv

As you step through the door to your house, you notice blonde hair hanging over the edge of the sofa. Peering around it, you see Rei, fast asleep, her arm hanging over the side, a book on the floor. How long has she been home?

Man...you love her.

Can't she tell you what's going on in that head of hers, though? You're worried about her. There's obviously something really serious bothering her.

...You've never really thought about it before, but Rei kind of reminds you of Namine. Namine...you used to really like her. But nothing like this.

Kneeling down beside Rei, you gently kiss her on the cheek.

"I am completely smitten with you," you whisper.

"The feelings are shared," she replies quietly, smiling a little. You jump. You weren't exactly expecting her to wake up that easily. "I'm sorry; did I scare you?"

"I just wasn't expecting you to wake up," you admit.

"I've become a light sleeper," she says, finally opening her eyes. She yawns, stretching her arms and legs.

"What were you reading?" you ask.

"The first thing I pulled off the shelf," she replies, holding up a book that you recognize to be something you read when you were probably in first grade or something. "I was surprised it was even on the shelf, personally."

"Me too," you say, looking aghast. "I haven't cleaned that thing off in forever." You pluck the book out of her hand. "It's covered in dust."

"It put me to sleep," she giggles. You smile. "Kairi told me about your job," she adds, smiling brightly. "I think that's really sweet."

"Someday I'll take you there," you promise. Her smile quivers a little. "...Rei, you okay...?"

It only takes a second for the two of you to burst into laughter.

"Heehee, yes, Riku, I'm okay," she replies, yawning again. "Just tired. It's past my bed time."

Your pOv

As Riku closes the door behind him, you can't help but feel incredibly guilty and sad. Kairi knows...and he doesn't... He's the one that NEEDS and DESERVES to know. But he doesn't. And at this rate, you'll never be able to tell him.

You can remember when you were younger and had only one friend and weren't in love or anything complicated like this. You definitely took it for granted.