I had a really hard time with a name for this chapter.

It was between what it is and

The Adventures of Jamie and Albie

There is enough fluff in here to make a battalion of stuffed animals.

Thank you for all reviews and for reading!

Chapter 3

Losing A Buttock

"Albus Severus Potter! Get your bum out of that right now!" Harry heard as he walked in the door.

"Nooo noo noo Mumm Mumm Mummm." His youngest son implored, Harry could practically see the stubborn set of his little jaw.

Fearing what he was about to find, Harry walked up the stairway and followed the voices and to his confusion a river of water into the boys bathroom where water was freely flowing from the tub and both sinks. Ginny was standing in the doorway trying not to slip and Albus was sitting on the toilet.

"What's going on in here?" Harry asked, bemused.

"I sat my wand on the sink and stepped out to get him a new pair of underpants." Ginny said wryly. "Everytime I try to get in there he manages to make the water flow harder and I am afraid to fall and hurt Lily."

"Understood." He said as he stepped to the side and pulled off his shoes, socks and trousers. He threw them all down the hallway away from the water. Apparently the flying clothing attracted the attention of James who poked his head out of his room and ran over.

"Daddy Daddy Daddy. You comed home!" He yelled with his arms up, unfortunately as he approached he tried to run through the fast flowing water and was swept off his feet and sent rapiding the opposite way down the hall.

Thinking quick Harry flicked his wand, flipping a dripping, squealing James upside down as Ginny bustled over to get him while Harry handled the younger of the two menaces. He heard James chattering excitedly behind him.

"Do it gain mummy, let's do it gain."

He chuckled and turned his attentions to the chaos that was the younger boys' shared bathroom.

"Al, what are you doing mate?" said as he stepped into the stream gently, refusing to be knocked off his feet by a two and a half year old.

"Daddeee Daddee! Wata do whhhhooooooshhhh!" He said excitedly, Ginny's wand flailing.

"Albie, can daddy see the wand?" he asked in his best simpering voice.

"No! No no no no no Albie wan Albie wan. No no no daddeee no." he declared, gripping the wand tighter, his bare legs swinging from the side of the toilet.

"Albus Severus." Harry said in a warning voice as he approached the toilet, he reached to hold onto the counter when a rush of water sent him toppling to his knees, water splashed up his shirt and into his face, to the delight and giggles of the bare bottomed two year old that was still obediently sitting on the loo.

His pride bruised worse than his knees he came back to a stand when he heard Ginny clear her throat from the side of the door.

"I'm sorry did you have advice?" he snapped, picking wet toilet paper from his legs.

She stifled her laughter as she tried to keep James out of the flowing water. "I just wanted to remind you that unlike me, you actually still have your wand daddy."

"Son of a bitch." He mumbled, pulling his wand from the quick release holster hidden in his sleeve. "Finite Incantum." He said.

The water came to a stop, leaving massive puddles everywhere. He lifted Albus from the toilet, and carried him into the hall.

"Albie go potty." He said proudly.

"Fanbloodytastic." Harry said sarcastically as Albus gleamed.

"Mummy?" came James' voice as he bounced in a particularly deep puddle. "Wha is son of a bish?"

0o0o0o0o0o

The house was eerily quiet when Hermione, Ginny and Teddy came through the front doors. The women had been shopping for baby clothes and furniture before having lunch and picking Teddy up from Dumbledore Academy. It should have been noisier, the silence was a bit nerve wracking as Harry was keeping both James and Al as well as Rose today.

As they walked further into the house the destruction became evident, there was flour feet print everywhere. The floor was splattered with them, handprints were on the walls, though they appeared to be chocolate rather than flour.

"What in the world do you imagine happened." Hermione muttered.

"The names James and Albus come to mind." Ginny said simply, following the trail to the kitchens.

The sight that met them was too cute for them to consider punishing the kids, not to mention they were all knocked out asleep. Albus and Rose lay curled together under the breakfast table each a sticky combination of chocolate and flour. James was sprawled across the counter on his belly, his hair standing straight up matted with goo, his arm wrapped around a syrup bottle like it was a teddy bear.

"I think we should try and find my husband." Ginny said wisely as she cast a protective bubble over James, so he wouldn't roll off the counter and Albus and Rose so they wouldn't wake up and cause more mayhem.

Hermione laughed, "The man can face the darkest wizard of all time at seventeen, but face him with two toddlers and a preschooler and all hell breaks loose."

"Uhm MUM!" came Teddy's cry from down the hall. "I think dad needs you."

When they made their way into the downstairs sitting room the two of them burst into fits of laughter. Harry was laying facing them on his side, his arms and legs snapped firmly together. Ginny tried to bite her lips as she released him from the body bind spell. Harder to contain was the laughter at the marker and makeup all over his face. He stood and cursed under his breath.

"Wand?" Ginny questioned.

He nodded, "I left it in its holster on the coat rack." He muttered darkly.

0o0o0o0o0o

A bang resounded through the house. Harry and Ginny both sat straight up out of a dead sleep, he glanced at his watch, 5:30 in the morning. Before they got a chance to rub the sleep from his eyes another boom sounded sending them both leaping from the bed.

"Is it an attack?" Harry said frantically as he searched his table for his wand.

"I don't- I don't- Harry I can't find my wand!" Ginny yelled panicked.

Harry stopped looking instantly and looked at their door that stood ajar. "Sodding Hell!" he said as he strode around the bed. "Mine's gone too, I think the boys are awake."

"Shite." she added as she followed him from the room.

They found James in Harry's office. The sound of one boom was immediately obvious, one bookshelf was lying flat on the floor, books everywhere, James was sitting on it coloring on the back of the wood with the wand, where he had mastered that skill Harry had no idea. He looked around at the destruction his walls had been scribbled on and they were flashing different colors. Realizing that Al wasn't anywhere in sight he began to try and see under the fallen shelf, panicked.

"Jamie where is your baby brother?" Ginny cried as she moved him and pulled Harry's wand from his hand. She threw it to him so Harry could levitate the shelf to check under it.

"Albie pway, he hidein." He said looking around the mess.

A banging knock resounded from his filing area and Harry's head swiveled towards the brown metal cabinet, he let the shelf fall back to the floor with another crash. He rushed to the cabinet and opened the bottom drawer. Albus was sitting on a pile of torn up files, holding Ginny's wand, chewing on a yellow folder, his hair alternately flashing with the walls. Harry sighed and picked him up.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, looking at his two year old son, not really expecting an answer as he tugged Ginny's wand from his fist.

James giggled, "Look mummy, Albie is 'tending to be Teddy! Him's hairw is changing colorws." He said in between giggles.

Ginny sighed and turned towards the door, Harry behind her with Al in his arms. Teddy was standing framed in the doorway, his mouth agape in shock at the

"Was I this much trouble?" he asked looking around at the scattered books and torn up papers.

Harry and Ginny met each other's eyes both of their memories hurtling backwards, when he learned to crawl, when he learned to walk, bumps and booboos, getting lost in the floo network, the hundreds of memory charms needed when he changed his appearance in muggle London, the temper tantrums, changing Dom's appearance with Harry's wand, hiding in random places in the house….it went on and on.

Harry looked at Teddy with a wry smile, "Not in the slightest." He said ruffling the turquoise hair.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was startlingly cold when February hit, Ron and Harry bustled into the manor, knowing that both of their wives had spent the day together here with the kids. They both pulled off their cloaks and hung them on the coat stand. They made their way into the house and walked towards the sounds of the kids' giggles. Ron smirked as Harry stuffed his wand into his back pocket.

"mate, what are you doing? What would Moody say if he saw the head of the Special Force Aurors sticking his wand in his back pocket?"

Harry paused in the hall before looking at Ron, speaking in the most serious voice he had, "Mate, I would rather lose both buttocks than let one of my minions get ahold of this wand."