Here we are with Chapter 3! Just wanted to thank all of you who've been reading thus far. Just a few notes for this chapter:
** Any text between two stars denotes lyrics to a song.
Italics usually indicates thoughts.
The lyrics used in this chapter are from "Human," by The Killers.
Just to mention: The reason Barnell and Josh didn't just text each other during their written, window communication was because .. well, erm.. they.. erm, just didn't. Phones are over-rated in the X-Men world anyway ;).
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"Why the hell are you crawling through the window?" Josh barked, dropping the baseball bat to his side, before leaning up against the wall, in an attempt to bolster himself up to appear bigger than he actually was.
"Because if I was caught in the halls this late, I'd probably be reprimanded," Jay responded calmly, walking to his bed and gingerly placing himself down.
"You could have warned me that you were going to pop through the window at 4am!" Josh hissed, although he was unaware of any method the mutant could have warned him, but he remained vexed anyway.
"Yes, yes I could have. You have my apologies."
A little deflated by his roommate's immediate nonchalant recognition of his own fault, Josh huffed and plopped himself on the bed. The fear of a visit from Blair gently drained from his gut.
"For what reason would you be out this late?" The golden mutant growled under his breath, before wiping his eyes.
"Watching the stars," his roommate replied duly, slinging his legs onto the bed and placing his head onto the pillow. "I usually sit on top of the shelter of the balcony below us."
Despite Josh's dramatic exhalation of disapproval, Jay remained silent and didn't say another word. His laconic approach threw Josh off a bit; compared to the other mutants – such as Laurie, Ben and Megan – this Jay didn't seem to pry into his life, or engage in useless small-talk. As the time ticked and the auburn haired student remained silent, Josh considered shifting the title of 'least annoying mutant,' from Laurie to him. At least this mutant knew when, and how, to keep his mouth shut.
He wasn't happy about having to share a room with a mutant, but Josh was, in a way, lucky that his roommate didn't seem to be a person of many words. The worst thing that could have happened was that he was roomed with someone like Megan, who was the type that could babble through a sewn mouth, if possible.
The sun started to rise and Josh's awareness of the mutant beside him began to slip. Finally, his ability to sleep blossomed inside him, and he felt his mind drift away slowly, like a weak sailboat flowing away with the gentle billows of the ocean.
His worries melted.
His anxiety crumbled.
His insecurities suspended.
Sleep blew away his fears as a wind claiming the seeds of a dandelion.
Until...
*ARE WE HUMAN, OR ARE WE DANCER?*
Josh leapt to his feet with a roar. He was suddenly stabbed by a fit of disorientation, which twirled his vision in circles as he wobbled from leg to leg. He slapped his face before steadying his head and blinking through droplets of moisture on his eyelashes.
"What the hell?" He shrieked, eyeballing the room for the source of such a racket.
The volume of – whatever it was – was loud enough to wake the entire leg of the dorms.
*And I'm on my knees, searching for the answer.*
Josh's wits began to come about him, and his attention was drawn to the drawer across the room, where the radio was situated on the top. He could almost see the sound waves blurting out of the speakers.
*And so long to devotion, you taught me everything I know.*
The golden teenager approached the radio and raised a fist over it. He was in no mood to untangle wires and search for outlets to turn it off, so he decided that destroying it would be the most efficient – and irrevocable - option. Besides, smashing something felt like the panacea of which he most definitely needed.
*Wave goodbye, wish me well.*
He laughed inwardly at the radio's last words, before his fist walloped into the top of it, and caused it to groan and dribble its lyrics away, until it fell completely silent.
And that – ladies and gentlemen – is how you destroy a malfunctioning radio.
The golden teen then peered over at Jay, who didn't even stir throughout the commotion; he slept above the blankets, wearing a white v-neck t-shirt, and his hands intertwined across his chest. Josh noted his lack of motion and wondered how it was possible for someone to sleep with such stillness, in spite of the loud interruption from the radio.
With a shrug, he slung himself onto his bed and allowed his head to nuzzle back into the pillows. He had no mental drive after his retrospective experience a few hours before and the thought of being surrounded by hundreds of mutants gave him feelings reminiscent of those he felt before the dinner party.
The morning matured, and the sun ensconced itself firmly in the sky. Josh had nodded off again and this time, remained undeterred by the chirps of the early birds, and the newborn pillars of light that gently pressed into the dorm.
Jay too, remained in his slumber. It was Sunday morning, and the majority of students had no classes, but they were required to wake up before 12.30pm for breakfast or brunch.
The auburn headed student's phone began to beep, and the screen flickered on and off. Jay's eyes flicked up instantly, and he reached for his phone before subduing the gentle noise with a press of a button.
He changed clothes and quietly opened the window, before throwing himself out and plummeting towards the grass.
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Josh eventually woke up and checked his watch to see that it was 11am. Despite his lack of rest, his brain wouldn't allow him to sleep for one long period of time, but rather, in one or two hour segments.
As he sat up on the bed, he noticed that Jay was nowhere to be seen. His eyes inspected the room for his roommate, until he heard a hollow knock on the egress.
If it's Lauren, or Laurie, or whatever, so help me God. I won't be able to be civil this early in the morning.
He ambled to the door – at his own pace – and gently opened it, simultaneous to a rub of his head.
At the sight before him, Josh wished that it was Laurie. Staring back at him, was a large – monstrous – beast, with oxford blue fur; his hair merged with his beard and the bristly fusion of the two sprung out from the sides of his face. His countenance seemed to retain human qualities, with his nose, mouth and facial structure bolstering the features of a homosapien, but as the teen widened his visual perspective, the man's body and frame seemed to transmute into those of a canine.
He was wide, and his posture was slightly curved; Josh wasn't sure if he was a wolf, a human or a mutant, but decided that he didn't want to find out. His heart palpitated at the sight of the animal, and fear licked his skin, in the form goose-bumps.
The beast eyeballed him from behind his small rectangular glasses before speaking.
"Joshua Foley. My name's is Dr. Hank McCoy. I wanted to welcome you to the academy. I hope you're settling in nicely."
Josh attempted to speak, or say something, but his throat collapsed around his words and a stammer croaked from the bowels of his voice box.
The beast chuckled and twirled a pen between his long black nails, before raising it to the clipboard against his chest.
"I do apologize. I understand my appearance can be rather intimidating to a new student. I assure you, there is nothing to fear. This is just a side-effect of my powers," he said warmly. "Many of the students call me 'Beast -' a term of endearment, despite the implication."
Images of Josh's introduction to Ben flushed into his mind. He feared that shunning a handshake from this Beast would not have the same effect as it did on the firey student. In other words, he wished to keep his face and thus decided to swallow his pride and shake the animal's hand – or paw - if need be.
"W.. what do you need me for?" The teen asked, taking a subtle step back.
"It appears my mind isn't working at its normal speed today!" Beast laughed, "I am the school's doctor, surgeon, scientist and biologist. I was just hoping to see you in my clinic before classes start tomorrow."
Over my dead body.
"I..Clinic? I don't.. No. I'm not going to any clinic."
The doctor retained his smile, and mimicked Josh by taking a step back, to give the student some space.
"Every student goes through an evaluation," he said fervently. "I assure you, it's nothing frightening. It's just to file your abilities into the database."
"I don't know my abilities. All I know is that my skin is hard and golden, and that's all there is to know," Josh said, with fear and anger dabbling in the tones of his voice.
"It's rare that a mutant would have only a skin mutation," McCoy responded. "Usually they are a side effect of a larger, underlying mutation."
"I don't breathe fire, or have wings, if that's what you're thinking. Now that you know everything, I'd like to be alone."
The biologist's eyes began to look into Josh, rather than at him.
"Joshua," he said firmly. "I'm not going to push you as it's your first full day here. But, I must inform you that for the sake of the other students, I will insist that you permit me to carry out some tests, in the near future."
That puts me at ease, thanks.
"Ok," he growled, before twirling himself behind the door and attempting to close it. But, Hank's colossal hand gripped the edge of the door and halted Josh in his efforts.
"Breakfast ends in less than an hour, Josh, I recommend you go to the cafeteria and eat something. I don't want to see you go hungry."
The marble-like teen grunted in response and shut the door. He waited until he heard the beast's footsteps fade into the depths of the corridor, before he sighed with relief, and leaned against the door before closing his eyes.
'Survive a horror flick;' I can tick that one off the list.
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"What a pain in the ass," said Noriko, stuffing a corner of her toast into her mouth. "I don't know how you put up with it for so long. I would've boxed his face in after the first insult."
Ben snorted and Laurie remained undeterred.
"Ah know, Nor, that's why Emma asked me'n not you," Ben remarked through a deep giggle.
"I'm just sayin', she replied. "Maybe a punch would do him some good, y'know, teach him who's boss."
"If a handshake nairly put'im into a seizure, then ah think a punch would be the death of'im."
"Then let it be!" Noriko declared. "The fewer of the likes of him around, the better."
Laurie shifted uncomfortably in her seat before clearing her throat. Ben nudged Noriko as a warning, sensing Laurie's disapproval of their words, but with no interest in vibes or hidden messages, Noriko spoke aloud:
"What's your opinion of him, Laurie?"
"Of who?" Laurie asked, erecting a pretense of naivety.
"The new kid. Golden one. Blonde hair."
"Josh?"
"Yeah."
"He's okay, why?"
"You don't seem angry."
"Why would I be angry?" Laurie asked.
Noriko sighed and wiped her forehead.
"Because he hates mutants."
"You don't know that for sure."
"Well I've heard enough to know it," Nori replied, looking towards Ben for reassurance, but instead received an empty glance.
"He's just upset. There's nothing wrong with that," Laurie said defensively, folding her arms.
"Aw the poor baby!" Noriko drawled. "He must miss Mommy's credit card and Daddy's cars! What will he do without them?"
"Blame us," Ben interjected with a smirk.
"C'mon guys, he's not that bad. I was with him last night and he's actually okay. Definitely out of his element, but he's still a nice guy."
"Since I first came here," Nori interrupted, disregarding Laurie's defensive statement, "I've seen a lot of stressed new students, but none of them had the nerve to speak like that."
A shiver ran up Laurie's spine when she realized that Nori was referring to Josh's outburst in the cafeteria - the outburst that Ben had mentioned. "There's something up with him, Laur. I just want to meet him, just so he'll insult me and give me a reason to jolt him."
"Is that what you do to all the new students?" Laurie asked, becoming progressively more irritated with Noriko's lack of compassion.
"No. Just the ones like him."
"Ones? So you have experience jolting new students who speak out of line?"
"Jeez, calm down, I'm only kidding," Noriko disavowed, waving her hand in front of her face dismissively. "But if he did pass a comment in my direction, then I'd have to go back on that one."
"He's upset, not stupid," Laurie remarked, sticking her tongue out at her friend. "I think he'll come to know that passing any comment in your direction wouldn't end nicely."
Noriko stuck her chest out proudly and blew on a line of her fingernails. "Damn right."
From behind her friend, Laurie could see the doors of the cafeteria creep open and gently fall back to their hinges. Josh quietly entered the cafeteria without a stir, and hovered around the entrance. Without moving her gaze, she traced his steps and watched him, as he awkwardly began to line up by the trays.
Ben followed her sight and noticed whom she was staring at. Not wishing to bring him to Noriko's attention, Ben stayed quiet, but fixed his eyes on Laurie, who seemed to be donating the panoply of her attention to the golden teen.
Noriko single-handedly carried the conversation herself, and dictated the topics; she weaned it to her hatred of skirts, jewellery, Emma Frost, dangly earrings, and eventually, snobby students in the school. Laurie had lost track of the order long before Josh entered the dome, but she was glad that Noriko was at least talking, and not making herself aware of the blonde teenager's entrance.
After deciding that it was best to not bring any unnecessary attention to the golden student, she turned her head back towards her friends, and was met with a concerned look from Ben.
In response, she shrugged and tilted her head to the side. The 'stop worrying about me,' look was interpreted perfectly by Ben, who shot a 'be careful around him,' expression right back. The two fell silent, and enshrouded their taciturn behavior behind Noriko's rambling.
As Laurie dipped in and out of her friend's words, she realized that Noriko had now moved onto speaking about her distaste of perfume.
"A lick of deodorant is enough. Why do girls have to douse themselves with so much perfume? It makes me want to vomit! I mean, I'm walking down the halls and then I inhale a cloud of poison from one of the cheerleaders," she vented, her fingers clicking and wriggling with expression. "Laurie, you're a girl that wears perfume, right? Why do you feel the need to smell so flowery?"
Laurie's eyes had, again, found themselves upon Josh, who was now sitting alone and poking at a plate of greens.
"Laurie? Anybody home?"
With a faint gasp, she flicked her eyes back to Noriko and smiled awkwardly. "Flowery? Yes, I, erm, I like flowers."
Noriko lifted an eyebrow before turning to Ben.
"See? She's blonde to the core," she chortled, sticking her tongue out at Laurie in revenge.
However, Ben's gaze had fixed itself on Laurie, and hers too, had come to meet his, and they initiated an 'eye' debate.
"Is everybody on standby today? What's wrong with you two? Can't you answer a simple question?"
Both mutants jumped in their seats before babbling over their words, with every attempt to prove their attentiveness.
"Blonde, yeh. Wait? Ah'm not blonde?" Ben defended, his befuddled thoughts on display.
"That's not what I said," Noriko sighed. "Is there something going on?"
Laurie slipped into the chair and Ben began subtly counting the panes of glass that surrounded them.
"Nobody's going to answer me? Fine. I have training to do anyway. Sort your shit out, guys."
With a huff, the student stood to her feet and marched away from the table, leaving the brooders to the company of each other.
"Did you have to do that?" Laurie moaned, with soreness latching to her pitch.
"Wasn't doin' anythin' Laur, otha than makin' sure that the novelty'v this new kid is wearing off, but it doesn' seem so," he replied, pupils focused on her. "He's not right, Laur. Why're you fussin' over'im, and starin' at'im?"
"I'm staring because I'm worried about him. I'm worried he'll leave."
"Why would'e do tha'? He'd get'imself shot out in public with skin like tha'. In all his issues, Laur, Ah don't thaink he's stupid."
"I know, but last night.." She sighed, "Last night, I told him something I shouldn't have. I told him that Emma doesn't chase after people that leave. I told him that if he leaves, it's his choice. At first, I was glad that it put him at ease, but now I'm worried that he'll act on it. What if he leaves and gets himself killed? I could never live knowing that I walked someone to his death," Laurie explained, pinching the bridge of her nose with lament. "I feel like if I do something, if I were to be a friend to him, he'd be less likely leave, because he'd have a cause. In fact, that's exactly what he needs, except he needs a cause to stay."
Ben's crackling amber eyes popped open, only to be shaded by the descent of a wispy brow.
"Why did'ya tell'im that?" He replied with consternation. "Why would'ya tell a new'nd confused student somethin' like tha? Of course he'll think abou'actin' on it! All new students hate it 'ere at first!"
"I know!" She drawled with a moan, "I know that now, but he seemed so uneasy when I was helping him fold clothes, and I thought that if I told him that, he'd relax because he wouldn't feel like he's in a prison."
"The reason 'e was so uneasy, Laur, was because yer a mutant, and'e hates us. He made tha' fairly clear yesterday."
Laurie groaned into her palms, as she allowed her head to sink into her hands. "Why did I say that? Why did I think that he'd stay if he knew he could leave? Of course he'll try to leave if he knows he can. Any new student would."
A pang of guilt hit Ben as he watched Laurie wallow in misery, and he began to empathize with his sister-like friend. He knew Laurie well enough to realize that her heart was in the right place, and that that was not something worth scolding her about.
"Look, Laur. Y'didn't know. Simple'as tha'. Y'were doin' somethin' which y'thought was right. No shame in tha',"
"That's fine and great," she replied, "but if he gets himself killed because I was 'doing what I thought was right,' then I don't think that was the very 'right' decision. I just thought that he'd be more likely to try and leave if he thought he was trapped here, that's why I told him the truth. That's why I told him that the school doesn't chase after people that leave. I thought the truth would make him realize that he's not being forced to stay here."
"Ah see wherr yer comin' from, Laur, but look at it this way'," Ben replied, his words of consolation running out of energy, as he made a last ditch attempt to chip away her self blame. "Y'don't know tha' he'd get killed in public. Maybe he'd survive just fine."
"Of course he wouldn't," she remarked. "Look at his skin. Any crazed anti-mutant – and there are a lot of them – would have him cut down in seconds."
Ben came to a wall as he found himself beginning to acquiesce to her fears. Her heart was in the right place, afterall, but it was these kinds of actions on Laurie's behalf that made Ben fear for the worst; she worked through her heart, and this trait was often a curse more-so than it was a blessing.
"You gotta point there," he sighed, before tilting his head to look at her in the eyes. "Laur, listen t'me when I tell you tha' y'need to thaink befor'ya speak sometimes. What'cha did was like givin' a recoverin' drug addict th'number of the local dealer."
"I know it was stupid of me, okay? Do you need to rub it in? All I know is that I need to make things right, Ben. I need to give him a reason to stay."
"Laur," Ben sighed. "Ah thaink it's too late nai. If he leaves, he leaves. There'isn't a whole lot y'can do 'bout it. He's a big boy, and can make'is own decisions."
Laurie stopped, and cleared her lungs before tilting her head towards the floor. She tried to reply; she tried with every effort in her body, but she just couldn't bring herself to do so. The air in her throat couldn't articulate itself tight enough, to form a comprehensible sentence.
Her own words undulated in her head like a faint bleat echoing from the walls of a cave. She couldn't think of why these words planted themselves in her mind so firmly, but their meaning was so clear to her:
".. I need to make things right.."
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Josh successfully managed to avoid all interactions with any mutants during his trek to the cafeteria. He made a detour to the courtyard, where he sat in front of the wrinkled oaktree that he discovered the day before. Jay was nowhere to be seen, but this was of no surprise to Josh. When Josh ambled around the school after lunch, he never spotted his roommate once, and the golden mutant figured that he was probably the quiet type - which was definitely a good thing.
He approached his bed and sat down, spanning his eyes over the room as if it was a detailed panorama. His clothes were still piled in heaps around the room, with the only exception being Jay's bed and a small place around the mutant's dwelling space which Laurie had cleared.
I need to finish unpacking.
During his wanderings of the campus, Josh reluctantly decided not to attempt an escape from the school, and therefore, needed to finish unpacking. Laurie's information regarding his ability to leave – although interesting - proved useless to him, and he still found himself fettered to the institution.
Despite his hatred of the academy, he came to realize that a simple escape attempt from the school would be an untactful and rash path to his death. Where would he sleep? How would he eat? How would he hide his obvious mutation?
Abdicating his role as student wouldn't be as easy as Laurie made it seem. He didn't have parents to run to, nor did he have an extended family.
He found himself feeling even more claustrophobic and trapped than he did before. The idea that he could leave teased his sense and reason, which reinforced that his departure would also be his very demise.
He almost wished that Laurie had never told him of his freedom to leave. The concept tempted his aspiration, but his aspiration jeered his security.
Reminiscent of McCoy's arrival earlier, a knock was heard at the door, which ripped Josh from his thoughts. He hesitantly approached it and swung it open.
Laurie stood there, with her hair tied up in a ponytail, a change from her previous appearance. As she tossed her leg back and forward, his honey brown eyes were drawn to the mid-night blue of hers and he found himself staring at her trancedly.
"I'm here, as promised," she blurted, before checking her surroundings with precaution as she remembered she was in the boy's dorms.
As promised?
"You don't remember, do you?" Laurie giggle-whispered. "You asked me to come back tomorrow, and here I am."
The memories of his invitation came flooding back to him.
Ah, that's right. I asked you to pack for me, to save me the bother.
"I remember," he responded, shaking his head and breaking eye-contact, while hiding the taint of agitation and regret in his voice.
He had hoped for another quiet night to himself.
"So, can I come in?" She asked, raising a brow and eyeing Josh curiously. "I don't want to get caught out here."
Josh was suddenly pricked by the fine point of social punctilio.
"Oh sure, come in," he said, trying hard to sound less melancholic, but also not wishing to discourage her from organizing his room. With a smile, Laurie stepped into his room and immediately honed in on a pile of jeans that had been tossed in front of the leg of his bed.
She quietly began folding the jeans and stacking them beside her. Josh continued to dishevel his shelves, by transporting objects from the lowers levels to the higher and vice versa.
"Classes start tomorrow," Laurie reminded, folding the leg of a pair of jeans. "Have you chosen all of your electives?"
"Yes," Josh said blankly, "the principal went through them with me when I arrived."
"What did you pick?"
Hello small-talk. Haven't heard from you in a while.
"The same subjects I did at school back home."
"And what were they?" She asked with a half smile. "You really like these one line answers."
You can state the obvious too. Congratulations.
"Marine studies, advanced chemistry, macroeconomics and diving. Yes, I do."
Disregarding the last part of his sentence, Laurie saw an opening to initiate conversation which may have been of some interest to him.
"Marine Studies? Diving? They offer those here? We don't even have a swimming pool."
"I don't know the details, and I didn't ask. All I know is that she offered and I chose."
"So you like aquatic based subjects?" She asked, squeezing as much interest out of him as she could, to avoid a familiar awkward pause in the flow of their meak conversation.
"Yes, I do. Are you finished folding?" Josh asked, his patience rusting.
Laurie turned away and allowed the inevitable - yet delayed - silence to envelope them. Josh made no efforts to speak, and instead slouched his shoulders and pondered new ways of asking her to leave his dorm. Why was she so interested in him anyway?
"Where's the chemistry room?" Laurie asked arbitrarily, obliterating the silence that the golden mutant was just becoming comfortable with.
I don't know, I've barely been here two days.
"No idea," he said neutrally, although curious to her irregular question.
"When Ben showed you around the school, he should have showed you the rooms where you have classes in. He didn't do that?"
"I.. I.." Josh stumbled over his words as he tried to recall his introduction to the school from Ben; he recalled being heavily lost in thought, but anything beyond that was clouded by the burdens he was – and is – dealing with.
"I don't remember."
"How did you plan on getting to class tomorrow?" She asked succinctly.
"I don't know."
"Let me show you around," she offered, standing to her feet, before clasping her hands together behind her back. "I wont be all official and boring like Ben." Her pitch ascended with her joke, but Josh didn't smile, nor show any emotion towards the remark.
"What do you say?"
He did contemplate a method of finding his classrooms without having to ask a mutant in the halls. Laurie's offer did seem like the perfect solution; it was better that she showed him his classrooms, instead of some wonky eyed mutant that would give him the creeps. At least, Laurie looked human.
"Okay. Whatever you want."
"Great!" She cheered. "It's 6pm, so most people will be in the common rooms or dorms, so don't worry about big crowds."
Josh nodded in the affirmative and slung a sweater over his shoulder. "When do we go?"
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"The school was founded by Charles Xavier. It expanded once – to Massachusetts, I think – but that's all gone now and it's located solely within Westchester County. The original building was built at the end of the 1700's, but obviously it's seen huge change since then," Laurie explained, leaning against a wall and peering down the halls.
Josh, who suppressed a yawn, nodded duly and purposely tuned out when she didn't address anything that benefitted him.
"It's been destroyed many times, too. So many people out there hate what the school represents and want to see it in ruins. Luckily, Emma envisioned the school being great again, and built it up with help from her friend Warren, who's a teacher here," she explained, taking a breath before continuing. "Every one of us is trained to hone our abilities and to become comfortable with them. The teachers are strict about only using offensive powers for two reasons: self-defense, or the defense of somebody else. If they catch you using your powers on someone unjustly, they'll send you into retraining."
"What's included in retraining?" Josh asked, her words stirring his interest.
"They just re-teach you what the school stands for, and when you should use your powers."
"So it's more like re-brainwash?" Josh asked, as the piece of him tied to Blair's teachings began to pulsate with vigor.
"I think of brainwash as a negative thing. Reinforcing the teaching of Charles Xavier isn't negative. He wished for mutants and humans to live together peacefully, and for mutants to use their powers for good, and not evil," Laurie responded, treading lightly with her choice of words. "That's not a negative thing."
"You think they should co-exist?"
"Of course! I'd like to think that someday my friends with physical mutations could live happily and safely in the real world."
"So if someone who can shoot fire from their eyes moves into the house next to you, you're supposed to be okay with that?"
Laurie considered his question and genuinely put thought into it. "Yes," she concluded. "For people to lose the stigma attached to mutants, they need to see that we're not bad. It's only a selective few that use their powers for evil. When the public opens their eyes to the teachings of Charles Xavier, they'll see that the guy who can shoot fire from his eyes, will never use his powers against them. Maybe someday, they'll just come to assume that he's harmless; same way you don't immediately assume your neighbor is a murderer."
"Even if I agreed with you," Josh replied. "I don't think society will ever come to a point where they'd assume a mutant is kind hearted and has good intentions."
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"Don't be. I am this way because I was lucky enough to be enlightened to the dangers of mutants."
A dusky heat descended in Laurie's diaphragm as she received a sudden insight into Josh – something she hadn't hoped to receive.
"Who enlightened you?" She asked.
"Blair, of course." Josh blurted, before realizing that he had given too much of himself to the blonde. "I mean, a friend. A wise friend."
Josh's attempt to save-face told Laurie that he now had his wits about him, and that her opportunity to get to know him had finally passed by.
"This is the chemistry room," she said uneasily, stepping away from the golden mutant and positioning herself in front of the door. "This is where you'll be going tomorrow."
Josh nodded curtly, before fading back behind his thoughts, and inclining his head towards the dark oaky floor.
A question loomed over them and the anticipation of it being asked intensified like a jack-in-the-box nearing it's moment to suddenly rise.
Laurie didn't dare ask it, but she certainly thought about it. She could tell that Josh was scorning himself for revealing too much, and so she tried to make it unapparent that she was thinking about the question which he knew she was bound to be thinking about.
The question was simple, but was almost an answer within itself: Who was Blair?
Laurie hadn't expected such an obvious chink to appear in Josh's barriers, and a part of her pondered the unknown connection between this Blair, and Josh.
But with hopes of slicing through the silence, Laurie decided to speak and her voice pierced through the empty halls and dragged Josh from his repose.
"There's about fifteen teachers here," she said, as Josh jerked his head and attempted to listen, "You've met … how many now?"
"Two."
"Oh?" She gasped lightly, her mouth forming a perfect 'o.' "You've meet a teacher other than Emma Frost?"
Josh shuddered as the image of Dr Hank McCoy's nails swiped at his mind.
"Beast. He knocked on my door earlier today."
"Let me guess, medical evaluation?"
Josh nodded.
"So did you learn anything new from it? I remember mine like it was yesterd-"
"No. I refused to go," Josh interrupted, turning his face from the blonde. "Does he think I'm stupid? As if I'd go anywhere with him."
"Why wouldn't you..? Oh wait, the whole canine thing freaked you out, didn't it?" Laurie questioned amusingly. "Did his big nails and blue fur give you the shivers? Did you fear that he'd rip out his teeth attack you in the middle of the hallway? Were you scared that he'd drag you into his clinic and you'd never be seen again?" She burst out laughing and threw a hand over her mouth.
"Josh, that's not very alpha-male of you."
"Hey!" He snapped. "I wasn't scared, I just didn't want to go with him, that's all!"
"Just didn't want to go with him," Laurie quoted with a wink and a wry smile. "Your secret is safe with me."
"Secre-? What're you talking about?"
The blonde girl tapped her nose and winked again before continuing down the hall with a snort. Josh huffed and reluctantly followed her.
As they advanced through the hallways, they visited every classroom which hosted Joshua's classes, and Laurie addressed more, and more questions that Josh might have about the school.
The golden mutant's attention was ephemeral and he retained barely a snippet of her stories. She continued to babble on, and defied her earlier promise not to become 'official and boring, like Ben.'
Josh stared at her blankly as she proudly spewed meaningless trivia at him.
".. The Danger Room creates artificial environments and enemies - that's where we do the majority of our training. Some students hate it because it seems so real, but I find it kind of exciting.."
Fucks given: -100.
"Dr.McCoy – or should I say, your biggest fear - usually operates the Danger room. He uses it to assess a mutant's powers and abilities. It's incredible, actually, and I still can't really get my head around the mechanics of it."
Josh grunted and rolled his eyes. "I'm not scared of him!"
"Oh sure," she drawled, before taking a breath to continue. "The teachers live here too. Xaviers is more than just a school. It's a safe haven for mutants. It's a place where mutants from all over the world can call home, if they choose to." The blonde shrugged her shoulders to reiterate her point, and then flicked a gold lock that had fallen and dangled from her hair-band.
"There are people from all across the globe here. Just from the top of my head, I can name students from Japan, China, India, Scotland, Holland, Russia.. the list goes on.."
No need to let it go on any further.
"Every one of them went through an evaluation with Beast, or excuse me, the grim reaper. Aside from you and your girly chicken-ness, every student agrees that Beast is the nicest and most gentle person they've ever met."
And as Laurie finished her sentence, her words cracked the last supporting fragments of Josh's decorum. Her comments had not been funny to him, and the jokes she made had become pathetic excuses to get to know him. The golden student clenched his fist and defied his rule to stop stepping on peoples' toes.
"Let's make this clear, Lauren," Josh interrupted.
"Laurie."
"Whatever,"
He swiped his fringe away and revealed his eyes, which seemed blistered with agitation, while emitting molecules of nascent fury.
"I'm not scared of that Beast, I'm just not in the mood to be poked and prodded at by some doctor – and a mutant doctor, at that. I know that's difficult for you to understand because you seem to enjoy poking and prodding into my life, but do yourself a favor and give it up. You don't know me, so stop pretending that you do, okay?" He inflated himself with the frustration that he had been eschewing since they departed for the tour.
"I don't even want to be on this tour of yours. The more I'm introduced to this place, the more I hate it and want to leave. I'm trying to pretend that this isn't real, but the more real you make it, the harder it is to pretend." Josh found himself, again, revealing too much of his psyche and he cursed the irrevocability of his words.
Laurie was nonplussed by his reaction and couldn't help but take a verbal hit to the stomach. Fear briefly crystallized inside of her when she heard him say 'want to leave,' and her anxiety from her conversation with Ben, drained the blood from her face. She couldn't let Josh – and in some ways, herself – know that the reasons behind her attempted investment of time with him lay solely with guilt, and of course, the fear of a possibility.
Was he planning on leaving?
Laurie couldn't admit that her efforts to make Joshua stay were stemming from her own selfishness. Was she getting him to stay for his sake, or hers? Was she actually worried about his wellbeing, or only the fact she'd had to bear the guilt if harm came his way? If the conversation last night had not occurred, and Josh left anyway, then would she still feel responsible if harm had come his way? That wouldn't be on her, after-all, and she'd be just another student hearing 'the bad news:' that a pupil escaped and got himself killed in the real world. Thewhole thing could be one giant way of protecting herself from burden and regret.
..And was it?
Aside from the questions, one thing was for certain: She needed to think before she spoke.
Reasons aside, Laurie couldn't let someone walk to his death. The fact he was even considering, or thinking about, or even using the world 'leave,' worried her, and made her feel even more strongly about giving him a cause to stay.
If saving his life meant making him stay, and making him stay entailed having a cause, then she would be that cause. She couldn't live with the guilt if he – or anyone- were to leave based on the information she blurted out so liberally the night before. And suddenly, the feeling of guilt and the recognition of her selfishness came flooding back to her.
"Sorry," she said, her face mirroring the traffic of thoughts in her head. "I was just trying to be funny."
"Quit trying," he snapped back.
Laurie sighed and tilted her head towards the floor, as her fears fueled the pit in her stomach.
"You're right. I shouldn't have pushed it. I'm sorry again. I'm just conscious that you need a friend. It's so much easier when you have someone to talk to. I promise, I kno-"
"I don't need a friend!" Josh interrupted, flicking his hand from his face and exposing his eyes, which were now radiating and over-pouring with fury.
"I had a friend, and he's gone too, along with everyone else. Don't tell me you know what it's like to need someone, because you've never needed anything in your life! You have everyone you care about around you, and I have no-one."
Josh trembled, and a foggy silence fell upon them like an untimely frost.
"You're wrong there," she commented, a grief-stricken expression befalling her. She took a step back and exposed her face to the gritted air around them.
"My father died in the gulf war."
.. Before he could even react, a little piece of the golden mutant floated to the graveyard and joined the part of him that Dalores had once filled. He spilled his posture and his head dropped.
"I'm.. I didn't know."
"Of course you didn't," she said firmly, before faintly laughing through the nets of angered sarcasm. "It's funny Josh, a friend once told me that I needed to think before I spoke."
She stopped and took a shaky breath before piercing the golden mutant with her blue eyes. "The irony is that, I think you do too."
With that, she turned and strolled away, disappearing into the now-dusky outdoors from behind the glass egress.
Josh remained there, as images of his father twirled in his mind.
…He was alive, and yet wanted nothing to do with Josh..
And the contrast of those words, but between himself and Laurie, punched him in the stomach. She lost someone who loved her, and he was lost from someone who never really loved him.
The difference overwhelmed him and shook him, and he felt a pane of guilt crawl into his gut. Her anguished eyes and sorrowful face imprinted themselves in his mind, and his stomach churned as he realized that he caused her to feel that way.
But Laurie's face began to distort and fade, and slowly but surely, she was soon replaced by the face of Blair. Suddenly, his regret and guilt softly eroded, and he found himself suspended in a state of numb indifference. The side of him fettered to Blair slithered into his thoughts and his ability to regret and sympathize started to gently ebb away. Every word, every teaching, that had been ingrained into Josh, had become one with his mentality, and he began to spit at the original sorrow he felt for misjudging Laurie. He could no longer feel for her, and his sympathies brusquely brushed themselves away.
… She was still a mutant after-all..
.. and nothing was going to change that.