a/n aaaaaahhh i'm sorry this one took so long to type up and publish /\ also, this is looking like it's going to be more of a 4 chapter story, just to keep the chapters about the same length. Extra points to people who notice the other HP references in this chapter! as always, everything recognizable belongs to JKR, please review!
"And as always, we will be holding confession today from 3 to 5. Please join us to celebrate this holy sacrament of repentance.: the priest intoned, his gaze falling judgmentally on his congregation from over his wire-rimmed half-moon spectacles.
"Reverend Severus has agreed to cover for me this week as I will be visiting with our sister congregation in Hogsmeade." he gestured lightly to the dark man sitting to his right. My heart flew to my throat, not for the first time that day. Severus. That was his name. Even it's sound was dangerous, seductive. I hadn't been able to look away from him for the entire mass, mesmerized by him. How his lips seemed to coat every prayer in honey and oil, the deep shadows beneath his flickering eyes. They seemed darker that before, as if he hadn't slept any more than I had in the past week. His body carried out the motions of the mass but his mind… I could tell it was somewhere else. His brow was often furrowed and he worried his lower lip between his teeth.
"Let us go in peace to love and serve the Lord" recited Father Albus, breaking me from my reflections.
"Thanks be to God" we chanted dutifully in return, most in relief that the service was over.
My parents decided that they wanted to go to the weekly Knights of columbus brunch held in the church community center with my grandmother. Usually the prospect of eggs and bacon would be very attractive, but my stomach was too tied up in knots to think about food. Instead, I found myself wandering the gardens around the church. A cool breeze carried the first few drops of a rainshower to blow against my cheeks. The rain brought a refreshing break from the humidity we so often suffered that time of year. Before the showers turned into a deluge, I found shelter in the empty church. Most of the lights were not on, casting the gothic architecture into sharp relief and shadow. The smells of candle smoke and incense lay heavy in the air. A stray ray of light filtered through the stained glass skylight above the alta, dappling the white cloth cover in color. I inhaled deeply, tasting the motes of dust that floated down from the arching ceiling high above. The door to the small confessional stood ajar, beckoning the penitent to confess their wrongdoings.
I'd never really believed in confessions as necessary. Then again, I had a hard time seeing religion as necessary at all. However, as I stood there in the empty silence of the church, something drew me to the chamber. I could feel my heart beating against my ribcage as I stepped inside. One small light fixture illuminated the small kneeling bench, its dusty red velvet cushion matching the heavy drapes which separated the confessor from the reverend.
"Close the door behind you please"
Came his rich voice, just as it had in my dreams. I had to bite my lip to stifle the groan that threatened to slip out.
"For… forgive me… for I have sinned" I stuttered, unsure if I was following the proper rituals.
"Tell me of your sins, child"
God, even his voice was a sin. It resonated through me, rumbling along my bones and sending another wave of arousal to settle in my belly.
"I've been having impure thoughts.. Dreams…"
"Dreams are nothing to be ashamed of. They're given to us by God. Why do you say these visions are… impure?" he asked, sending a chill across my skin.
"In the dreams I see myself being tempted by someone… someone I know could not… would not…" the words failed me. In a sudden moment of clarity I realized my situation.
"Why wouldn't he? I assume he is a he, correct?" a touch of amusement played through his voice, lower than before. There was a slight tinge of something… apprehension or unsurety… "there's nothing wrong with desiring another…"
"He's a member of the clergy" I blurted out, clapping my hands over my mouth, shocked that I had actually said that out loud. A sharp inhale of breath came from behind the curtain. A few heavy moments passed before either of us spoke.
"And in these… dreams. Does this man desire you as well?" he said softly.
"Yes" I breathed back. We sat again, the silence passing slowly. Just as I started to think that this all had been a horrible mistake, the curtain rasped along its track as pale, slender fingers pulled it aside.
He sat hunched over, leaning his forearms heavily on his thigh, staring intently at the floor. A bible lay discarded on the floor next to his chair.
"The dreams happen every night. Exactly the same." it wasn't a question. He pressed the fingertips of his folded hands into his lips.
"Yes?" I answered anyway, not sure of how to proceed.
I sat back on my heels and looked at him. Slowly he raised his gaze to meet mine.
"So it's you" he whispered.
"Sorry…" I mumbled, moving to stand, one hand reaching for the door. Before my fingertips could touch the handle, his hand grasped my wrist and firmly pulled it toward him.
"It's you who's been tormenting me. Every night." my eyes flew open.
"Who are you" he growled, standing and pulling me closer, grabbing my other wrist and baring his teeth.
"Her… Hermione. Granger" I stuttered, feeling my cheeks practically burst into flame from the intensity of my blush.
"Miss… Granger" he purred, my name dripping off his tongue in an abhorrently sexy way. I bit my tongue in an attempt to muffle the moan that escaped anyway.
"You know that I'm soon to be sworn to the priesthood. That I face vows of chastity and purity."
I nodded, a slight lump forming in my throat. I knew it would never happen.
"However… lusting after a holy man… this is a most grievous offense."
I looked up to see his face twisted into that same almost cruel smirk, his eyes like two pits of sin, glittering in the darkness of the confessional. It hadn't occurred to me that he'd be so tall.
"I believe you must give adequate penance for your… wandering thoughts…"