"I just tried Derek again. No response." Weiss whispered as he walked into Addison's hospital room an hour after her surgery.

"Yeah, I've been trying him since they took her in. He's not answering." Mark replied from a chair by Addison's bedside. "I did get hold of Archer. He's coming after he's done with work. He couldn't cancel his book signing tonight. Too last minute."

"I called the hospital. They called him overhead to get him on the line but he never responded. I can't think of any other ways to get through to him."

"I'll go." Mark offered, getting up and stretching his arms. He cracked his stiff neck and turned to his friends. "I'll call you when I get there."

"You're going to drive to New Jersey now? It's a Friday night. Traffic will be crazy." Weiss replied. "We can take care of her until tomorrow morning. You can leave then. He won't be of any use now, the surgery is done. We don't need his consent."

Mark shook his head. "He just lost his kid. Half of his wife's reproductive system is gone. He needs to know. He needs to be here before tomorrow morning." Mark argued.

"Mark, I don't think Derek knew about the pregnancy." Savvy replied softly. "I don't think she told anyone about the pregnancy. And I may not be a doctor but I've known Addison longer than any of you and over the years I've learned enough to tell you that she'd say it was not a kid. She was still in her first trimester. It was barely an embryo."

Mark "The embryo that would have become a fetus that would have been a baby who would have been their kid."

"Mark, you're making this harder than it has to be. We need to be here for Addison right now. We'll figure things out with Derek later."

"Someone needs to be there for Derek too." Mark replied decisively. "I'm going to New Jersey. I'll let you know when I find him."

Mark sat in traffic for hours before he finally reached the New Jersey hospital that Derek had said he was working at. He navigated the unfamiliar medical center in search of his best friend and asked everyone with a badge that came up in front of him. It took Mark over an hour to locate Derek in the Physicans' lounge with labs in his hand.

"What the hell, Derek?!" he exclaimed, skipping a formal greeting. "We've practically got a search party out looking for you. Why won't you answer your fucking phone?"

"I'm busy, Mark." Derek replied dismissively.

"It's about Addison."

"I have to go. Take care of it for me, will you? I'll be back in a couple weeks or so. I'll deal with whatever it is then, okay?" he replied before fleeing the room.

Derek remained standing in the doorway of his estranged wife's office. He was staring at her intently, determined to reach his goal in getting her to discuss her surgery with him. She was just as stubborn as him, though and she was determined to keep the information private.

"Addison." he pled. "I need you to be able to talk to me about something as important as this."

"I don't understand why this is suddenly important." Addison replied.

"Because until now I never realized how much I've screwed up. I feel horrible." Derek replied. "I spoke to Mark and I've been talking to Weiss and I realize that I made mistakes during the last couple of years. I should have been there for you. I should have answered my phone, I should have made time for Mark when he came to see me and tell me in person. I should have done things differently. I'm sorry for making the wrong choices. I'm trying to correct my mistakes."

"Why now? Why do you care now?" she questioned.

"I promised you that I would give our marriage a chance and I haven't been doing that. I'm trying to be make an actual effort to move forward and a part of that is knowing what happened to wife so I can digest it and own up to my mistakes. Then I can genuinely understand what went wrong in our marriage, I can actually work on forgiving you and you can try to maybe consider forgiving me. That's the only way I think we can move forward."

"Derek, you really don't have to do this." Addison murmured.

"No, I want to know. Tell me. You said you were bleeding for an hour and a half before someone found you?"

"I didn't say I bled for an hour and a half. I don't know how long I bled. I just remember getting up from my desk at about 4:20, maybe 4:30 and I know I wasn't bleeding. I had some cramping and pain but I thought it was implantation cramps or something, cramping is normal in the first few weeks to some extent. My resident says he found me around 6 and I was in a pool of blood on the floor. They tried to call you for consent since I was unconscious but you wouldn't answer so they declared it an emergency and decided for me. My doctor said they tried to call you again when they realized the ovary had to go and didn't get though…"

"What day was this?"

"November 14." Addison answered without having to think about it. The memory was ingrained in her mind.

Derek's face contorted as he tried to remember what he had scheduled that day but nothing came to mind which meant it wasn't a huge, life-changing, career-changing surgery. It was just any other day.

"I tried to call when I woke up after surgery. I was devastated. I was really excited about that pregnancy, I really wanted to have that baby. We weren't really trying but it was something we both wanted. I really wanted everything to work out. I thought maybe the baby would change things, I thought it would help you realize that you've got a family at home and get your away from work more. Anyway, I know Mark came to tell you personally when you wouldn't answer. He says you didn't have time to meet him. By the time you got back it had been a few weeks since the surgery and I didn't matter anymore. You never brought it up, never noticed the scar, never questioned the papers from the insurance company. It obviously didn't matter."

"I should have been there…" Derek muttered his thoughts out loud more to himself than to Addison.

"We can't go back, Derek, what's done is done. We're here now. We're here because you stopped paying attention to me, I fucked your best friend and you moved across the country to get away from me. I stayed with Mark and you fell in love with another woman. Do you honestly think there is a way to move forward from here? Aside from divorce, do you really think there is any other logical next step?"

"I uh…" he was interrupted by the sound of her cell phones going off with a page.

"It's Savvy. They're probably prepping her to take her to the OR. I promised I would be there." she said, check the time on her phone- 7:49 am. Savvy was due in the OR by 8:30. "I've gotta go, Derek. Close the door when you leave, kay?"

"Wait, Addie, I was talking to you. You can't leave now." he said, following her down the hall toward Savvy's room.

"I'm busy now. We'll talk later." she replied almost dismissively.

"You're using my own words against me." he accused.

Addison smirked at him. "Don't like the taste of your own medicine?" she asked rhetorically, closing Savvy's door behind her after walk in.

Savvy's eyes immediately shot toward her. "What was that about?" she asked curiously. "Are you two back on speaking terms?"

"He came to speak to me about what happen. We talked a little but I didn't want to talk about it anymore so I set a timer on my phone to go off and then told him it was a page from you." she replied with a sly smile. "You better back up my story or no more morphine for you."

"Do you often threaten your patients?" Savvy asked teasingly. "Because with the price tag that comes with having you as a doctor, your bedside manner better be fan-fucking-tastic."

Addison rolled her eyes and sat on the edge of Savvy's bed. "Sometimes I actually miss you...then I remember all of your merciless teasing and I get over it." she shot back sounding very serious.

Savvy scoffed in response. "Oh, please, you love me and you know it. Every morning you wake up and you wonder why your life feels so incomplete and then you realize its because I'm all the way across the country."

Addison laughed and nodded, "You got me there. That is exactly what I think every morning." she said sarcastically.

"Seriously, Ad, how did the talk go? What did he say?"

She shrugged it response. "It seems like he feels guilty. He just kept saying that he should have been there and that he should have made the time and the effort. Too late for that now."

"It's not too late. You can get through this." Savvy insisted. "We will talk about this more later. Right now I'm getting dangerously close to being taken to the OR and we still have to take this year's Christmas cards."

"What?" Addison asked, raising one brow curiously.

Savvy handed over an older polaroid camera. "Weiss is out getting coffee. I want you to take pictures of the girls so he'll still have it once the real thing is gone…and if you get good enough shots then we both know they'll end up as this year's Christmas cards."

Addison laughed, taking the camera from Savvy. "Oh, I'll make sure to get fantastic shots if you plan to send them out as your Christmas card. All I ask is that I get a video of Weiss' parents opening theirs."

Savvy pulled her robe open and posed for a shot with a smile on her face. Two minutes later she pulled her robe shut and held her hand out of the polaroid prints sitting beside Addison. "I'm really liking this one." she said, holding up a shot for Addison to see. "If that's not Christmas card worthy than I don't know what is."

Addison set the camera down and looked at her best friend with a sigh. "Sav, are you sure about this? Getting a mastectomy is a big step. Not that the salpingo-oophorectomy and hysterectomy were not but that change is not really physically noticeable aside from the scar, which will be tiny by the way. But a mastectomy and reconstruction...you're going to wake up with a completely different set of breasts. It may look completely different."

"I have to do this, if I don't then I'm stopping half way. I don't want any risk. I want to have peace of mind."

"And as your doctor I completely support you, you know that. But as your friend I just want to be sure that you're sure."

"I'm sure." Savvy said decisively. "I just want a chance to grow old and gray with my husband. Wouldn't you want that? A chance to grow old with Derek without the fear that there is a cloud of doom constantly looming overhead?"

Addison eyes completely involuntarily glossed over with tears. "Yeah, I would want that." she said quietly. "But the price I'm paying; I don't think its worth it. I feel like I'm not Addison here with him. I'm not Addison and he's not Derek. I can't sit around and hope that we'll forgive one another and happily grow old together."

"Addison." Derek said softly as he entered the OR gallery. "I got you coffee." he said, holding out the cup for her to take. He leaned over closer to the glass and looked down. "That's Savvy." he realized out loud.

"Yes, it is." Addison replied obviously.

"I didn't think you could see her being cut open again. It that was pretty difficult to see her so...exposed. Weiss is out in the waiting room. We can go keep him company."

"No, I need to be here. Savvy might need me."

Derek shook his head. "Addie, you're using Savvy as an excuse not to spend time with me. What are you going to do when she goes back to New York? What are you going to use as an excuse to avoid me then?"

Addison looked up to meet Derek's eyes before quietly saying, "I might go back with them."

"What?" Derek asked unsurely. "I think I heard you wrong."

"I am thinking about going back to New York with Savvy and Weiss. She's going to need someone to take care of her and Weiss can't do it on his own. Besides, I need to go home. I left my whole life behind. I have a practice full of patients who need me. I have friends and my brother..."

"You're going back?"

Addison shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure. I'm just thinking about it. If I can't think of a good enough reason to stay then I'll probably end up going back with them."

Derek just stood there completely speechless. He quickly broke eye contact and turned to leave.

Seriously, you are blowing me away with the reviews. Thank you! I'm glad you're liking this story so far.

Good news: 1. Graduation was two days ago which I suddenly have time to write and update in a timely manner. I think that's a win-win situation for everyone involved here, wouldn't you agree? 2. Who else is ridiculously excited that Bad Judge was picked-up? I can't wait to see it this fall. I miss obsessing over a TV and counting down every week to a new episode. Plus god knows I need Kate back on my TV every week regularly. Fargo is good and all but it would be much better if Gina Hess was on my screen in all her ridiculous glory in every single episode.

Keep the reviews coming! Maybe you can persuade me to post two chapters in one week. That would be a first for this story.