Part III
"Oh, sorry." Kaoru said, shrugging past the person she'd bumped into and leaning against the wall. Hopefully Madonna wouldn't notice her until much, much later. Or, better yet, not at all.
Meanwhile, the person she'd crashed into looked around for the nearest exit. Why had he turned down Sano's offer of a blind date again? Oh, right, the last time had ended up with him almost having his fingers amputated. Long story behind that. He spotted a propped-open door and edged subtlety towards it. Damn that stupid hair that attracted people staring at him...thirty feet and he could go home and do...stuff...
"Boss! Boss! Hey, sweetheart, this is the man I work for. Boss this is my husband..." Kenshin absently tuned her out, nodding whenever she paused. Whatever happened to the good old days when he could sneak in and out in the dark of night, without people hanging all over him? Today would be the day he got nostalgic for wartime. Twenty feet...fifteen...
--
From: bokkenprincess44 (atmarkodotcom)
To: bakadeshi666 (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Saturday 2/21/09 4:07 am EST
Subject: Don't tell Misao.
I have a date. Like a date-date, with flowers and stuff. Some poor friend of my cousin's husband, who is actually quite nice excluding his appalling taste in women, stated talking to me. Somehow I gave him my number and he called me.
If you tell Misao, I'll kill myself. Or her. Or you. Or the mailman.
We're going to a really nice restaurant- so nice even I've heard of it. Except I realize, typing this, I will need –shudder- a dress. And I don't really have one. Problematic...who do I go to for dress advice? Damn, I'll have to chat with Misao or Megumi after all. Or just wear pants. And a nice blouse...I can totally do that...who am I kidding?
My cousin's wedding dress looked freakishly like her cake. Am I the only one who noticed this? It was poofy and layered and pink and...eww. Icky. But the cake was good, and the dinner...well, it makes my Lean Cuisine look unappetizing, let me put it that way.
Kaoru
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From: bakadeshi666 (atmarkodotcom)
To: bokkenprincess44 (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Saturday 2/21/09 7:27 pm EST
Subject: None
You must really be worried about this if you're awake at four in the morning and coherent enough to email me. As long as it's nice, I don't see why it matters what you wear. Everything makes Lean Cuisine unappetizing, because anything that has t be only reheated to be eaten cannot be natural. You can't even make a sandwich?
Most people don't compare the bride to dessert, Kaoru. You must have really wanted that cake. Speaking of cake, I have cookies in the oven...and I don't even like oatmeal raisin. Why did I bake them? To have an excuse to not go out and watch a friend get horribly drunk. The prices we pay for not enabling our friend's bad habits...
Kenshin
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From: bridalshower363 (atmarkodotcom)
To: bakadeshi666 (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Monday 2/23/09 8:30 am EST
Subject: Resigning
I'm quitting because my husband's filthy rich! Whoo-hoo!
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From: bakadeshi666 (atmarkodotcom)
To: bridalshower363 (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Monday 2/23/09 1:34 pm EST
Subject: Re: Resigning
You still have to fill out paperwork to resign, Madonna. I sent you the forms.
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From: bridalshower363 (atmarkodotcom)
To: bakadeshi666 (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Tuesday 2/24/09 8:30 am EST
Subject: Not resigning
I'm not quitting because my husband won't give me a credit card with no limit!
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From: bridalshower363shusband (atmarkodotcom)
To: bakadeshi666 (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Tuesday 2/24/09 9:47 am EST
Subject: Wife's job.
My wife is pregnant and needs maternity leave. She will send you a temporary replacement for the nine months she'll be gone.
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From: bakadeshi666 (atmarkodotcom)
To: bridalshower363shusband (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Tuesday 2/24/09 11:03 am EST
Subject: Re: Wife's job.
I don't want a replacement. In fact, your wife's being fired.
--
Kaoru has entered the chat room.
Misao has entered the chat room.
Megumi has entered the chat room.
Madonna Marry has entered the chat room.
Kaoru: Misao? Megumi? I need your help!
Misao: For what? Is it boys?
Megumi: With Kaoru it's always boys.
Kaoru: I have a date and I need to go dress shopping. No, Misao. No, Misao. No, Megumi. Okay, shoot.
Misao:...that answered all my questions.
Madonna Marry: OMG my husband is mean
Kaoru: What did he do?
Madonna Marry: he wont give me no credit card
Misao:...maybe he's being smart with his money?
Madonna Marry: an my boss trid to fire me but I cry a lot and he didnt
Megumi: So you didn't get fired?
Madonna Marry: just materty leave an im drunkish cowroo will you be the temp plse?
Kaoru: I have a job already, remember? Tutoring super-rich people's kids? You wouldn't believe what my base fee is.
Madonna Marry: pleese
Kaoru: I'll think about it. Why don't you go to bed?
Madonna Marry: bye
Madonna Marry has left the chat room.
Megumi: Bizarre.
Misao: I feel bad for her. Sort of.
Kaoru: I could take up her job for nine months...or at least a week while she got someone else to do it. I'll call her when she's sober.
Misao: That's a song! That is so a song!
Megumi: I have to go, my boyfriend is home. Bye.
Megumi has left the chat room.
Kaoru: It's late- I'd better turn in so I can take Madonna's insane early-morning call tomorrow.
Misao: Bye!
Misao has left the chat room.
Kaoru has left the chat room.
--
In fairness, it really wasn't Richard's fault. How was he to know she really, really hated duck anything?
Well, he could have let her order for herself, and he didn't have to be quite so overbearing. It was the first date, she could give him the benefit of the...yeah, right.
She was thoroughly miserable, and praying this would all be over soon. That was when it happened.
"Everybody stand up, hands where I can see them! This is a robbery, do ya hear? A freakin' robbery!"
Oh, great. This was so not what she had in mind when she thought of a date.
--
From: bokkenprincess44 (atmarkodotcom)
To: weasellyweaselgirl99 (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Wednesday 2/25/09 5:47 pm EST
Subject: Tuesday Night Date
The guy turned out to be a control-freak idiot who talked about his stamp collection for two hours and ordered duck for me. Halleluiah. Then the restaurant was robbed- held up by a bunch of teenagers with bad hair. I tripped one of them, grabbed his gun, and punched another one. Then the police showed up. They gave me an award. For bravery.
The guy sucked.
Misao, no, I didn't wear a dress. I wore pants. It was all Kenshin's idea, so blame him. Don't tell me to be accepting- a guy who finds that much joy out of postage stamps could not date me. He was all starry-eyed over them! I mean, what does a girl have to do to get some attention around here? Geez!
Kenshin, your advice on the clothing thing worked. I wasn't fiddling with my dress all evening, at least. Plus I could trip someone without it being too noticeable. What did you do with those cookies, anyways? Give them to your neighbors? Donate them to a charity bake sale? Make yourself eat them?
Kaoru
--
From: bokkenprincess44 (atmarkodotcom)
To: bridalshower363 (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Wednesday 2/25/09 6:28 pm EST
Subject: Temp Job
I've thought about and decided I can maybe cover you for ONE WEEK maximum, assuming you tell me exactly why you need a temp, why your boss can't hire his own, yadda, yadda, yadda. Okay? Okay. I knew I would win this argument.
Kaoru
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From: bridalshower363 (atmarkodotcom)
To: bokkenprincess44 (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Thursday 2/26/09 3:45 pm EST
Subject: Re: Temp Job
Boss's email address is bakadeshi666 (atmarkodotcom)
Madonna
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From: bokkenprincess44 (atmarkodotcom)
To: bridalshower363 (atmarkodotcom)
Date: Thursday 2/26/09 6:48 pm EST
Subject: Re: Re: Temp Job
...say what?
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