Equilibrium
Chapter Three
Marriage
Prologue
They called it spooning.
John Preston remembered walking into his parent's bedroom and seeing his mother and father lying in each other's arms. He recalled asking his mother why his parents slept that way. She smiled at him and said lying together made them feel close. After the war when feeling was outlawed, his parents continued to lie together despite the edict that spouses only sleep together for procreation. Soon, his mother was taken away for sense offense and his father, unable to live without his wife, took an overdose of Prozium.
At the age of 12, Preston was an orphan.
Looking at his wife, lying curled up next to him, Preston remembered how much he resented his parents for leaving him at such a young age and often blamed their relationship for tearing his family apart. Running his fingers through his spouse's hair, he now understood why they could not be apart. Preston could not imagine ever being apart from his wife. Turning over, she woke up and smiled at him. Preston put his hand on her bulging belly. Their first child was due in a couple of weeks and while neither could admit it aloud, the thought of having a baby excited them both. In the bathroom, taking his dose of Prozium, Preston had to admit, as the drug entered his system, that his marriage was not always so happy.
Getting Married
His spouse was deeply unhappy when she discovered she was forced to marry him. Forgetting herself, she went to the vice-counsel and pleaded to be released from her obligation to Preston. Standing outside of the vice-counsel's office, Preston could hear her pleading and then shouting at the vice-counsel who immediately ordered her to be placed in solitary confinement until her marriage took place to Preston in 30 days. When his spouse left the vice-counsel's office, she glared at him with so much hatred that it astounded him. From that moment, Preston was counting down the days until he got married.
Preston and his spouse were married in front of the vice counsel a month after she was placed in solitary confinement. Preston wore his best suit and his bride wore white with silver flowers in her hair. Her anger at Preston seemed to have diminished, but she said nothing during the ceremony or on their way home. Preston had all of her belongings sent to his new apartment, which was a gift from Father who said that Preston would need the space to accommodate children.
Yet it would take a while before Preston and his spouse would have children.
Upon entering their new home, Preston's new bride turned toward him, firmly slapped him across the face and walked in their bedroom where she slammed the door behind her. Surprised but unbowed by her reaction, Preston pressed his ear against the door and heard her crying. Preston sighed. He had fought many battles and survived in situations that had killed stronger men, but he had no idea how to cope with his spouse's tears. Quietly, Preston opened the door and saw his spouse staring out the window. The window was covered with a white vinyl, so there was no view but sunshine crept through the vinyl creating a glow around his bride. She turned, saw Preston and turned back to the window. Preston knew that he had to handle this situation cautiously or their marriage would never survive. Softly, Preston shut the door behind him and walked over to her. She shrunk from his outstretched hand and pressed her forehead against the window. Although she could not see out, she imagined the freedom that awaited her on the other side of the window. Preston studied her carefully and tried to imagine how she felt. While feelings were outlawed, his spouse was clearing undergoing a crisis and if Preston did not figure out it soon, his spouse would be taken from him for sense offense.
Again, slowly and with great effort, Preston reached his hand out toward his spouse and this time she allowed him to touch. Her skin was incredibly soft and Preston felt a wave of lustful urgency overtake him. He restrained himself since he instinctively understood that he needed his spouse's respect before he could attempt a physical relationship with her. Instead, he stroked her cheek gently. Quietly, she turned her head and looked at Preston through tear-stricken eyes. He could tell that she was trying to figure out if he was a threat to her. Preston gently took her by the hand and led her to the bathroom. He pointed out the towels and soap and then closed the door behind him. Standing outside the door, he could hear the water and the tears running with equal measure. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. This was going to be a long road.
Children
Preston ran quickly through the hospital to the elevator. The maternity ward was on the 7th floor and Preston paced the lift with impatience. Couldn't this thing move any quicker? he thought. The attendant looked at Preston strangely and Preston hastily reconstructed himself to reflect his stoic image. The elevator ground to a halt on the 7th floor and Preston marched into the maternity wing where the nurses were careful to avoid looking him directly in the eye. Since his marriage, Preston's reputation had grown and he was now the highest-ranking cleric in the country. For once, Preston was grateful that people were ignoring him so they could not see the bliss that kept creeping back into his face.
Preston paused before going into his spouse's room. He had no idea how to act around a baby. For a moment, he felt panic. Was he really ready to become a father? How would he treat his child? Preston shook his head. There was no reason to panic now. Straightening his clothes, Preston walked into his spouse's maternity room and saw her holding the baby in her arms. She looked up at Preston and attempted to suppress a smile, but it was in her eyes anyway. Preston nodded at her and shut the door. Walking over to television, Preston unplugged the monitor behind it. Then he turned back to his wife and grinned. She finally felt free enough to smile back and together they looked at their baby—a boy. Preston's spouse gently turned the boy over to his father. Preston was surprised to see tears emerging from his eyes. He looked at his son and promised to be there for him. Two years later, Preston would make the same promise to his daughter. Preston remembered his mother saying that her son was the greatest gift she would ever receive. Now, he finally understood what she meant. Having a family made the relationship with his wife even stronger.
Unfortunately, their shared happiness made his wife reckless. While Preston was good at hiding his emotions, his wife was not and without his realizing it, his spouse was leading a secret life that he was not aware of.
Betrayal
It was an ordinary day when Preston's spouse was taken by the sense police for sense offense. It was a Sunday and Preston, his spouse and their children were at home. The children were watching a video of father discussing the history of sense discrimination. Preston was working on some paperwork and his spouse was cleaning their apartment. She was wearing her favorite blue robe and was putting away the children's clothes when Preston walked into the hallway toward the kitchen. He saw his spouse drop a belt and pick it up. Their eyes connected. For the first time since their daughter was born, they seem to connect. Although their children brought them happiness, Preston had become suspicious of his spouse lately. She had become secretive and Preston was concerned that she was going to get herself arrested. Father had requested a step up of sense raids and as a result, even more people were being arrested and incinerated. These people included Preston's friends and co-workers. Preston found himself taking even more Prozium than usual to cope. Nevertheless, within this moment, Preston found himself staring eye-to-eye with his wife and they seemed to reconnect.
Then the door burst open and Preston's life seemed to have ended. His anger and rage at his spouse's betrayal. His children, particularly his daughter, avoided him and Preston shrouded himself in a cloak of righteousness to protect his children from his wife's transgressions. As he watched his spouse being questioned by Patridge concerning her sense offense, Preston witness his spouse's passion and energy and felt rage at his spouse's disloyalty. Once he entered the interrogation room, picked up his spouse and slammed her against the wall. Although he had a million questions, he could barely get them out. Partridge, as he had done in the past, came between Preston and his spouse and pushed Preston out of the room with a whisper, "Think of your children." As Preston left the room, his spouse quietly stated, "Remember Me." Preston turned to glare at her and left the room.
The last time Preston would see his spouse alive was during her incineration. In the early stages of the new regime, Father had ordered that families of persons charged with sense offense must attended the guilty party's incineration. Preston and his children attended the incineration and Preston had to admire his spouse's resolve as she walked into the incineration chamber with her head held high. She did not scream as the flames consumed her body. As Preston and his children walked away, Preston looked back at the incineration chamber half expecting his wife to walk out of it.
She didn't.
Present Day
Preston lay in bed without sleeping and when the sun began to light up the room, he got up and went into the bathroom to begin his daily routine. He got a dose of Prozium from his case and then washed his face. His hand brushed against the vial and it crashed to the floor. For a moment, Preston seemed surprised by the loss. He always got his dose of Prozium after he washed his face, not before. Why had he broken his routine?
"What are you doing?" said a sharp male tone behind him.
Preston turned to find his son staring at him. Preston was incredibly proud of his son and knew that one day his son would take his place at the Grammaton. Yet his boy was staring at him suspiously, and Preston began to worry. It was not uncommon for children to turn in their parents for sense offense. After all, Preston had turned in his own mother for sense offense and he had trained his son to be especially vigilant for sense offenders. Still, Preston was worried. What if his son turned him in for sense offense?
"I was getting ready to take my daily dose, but dropped it." Said Preston. "I never do that."
Preston's son stared at him with contempt. "You need to go and get a replacement dose."
Preston nodded and his son left the bathroom. Preston stared at himself in the mirror. He knew that today was the beginning of a different life, for himself and his children, perhaps for all of humanity.