A/N: I just wanted to thank you all for the support you have given me with this story. All of you that have faved or alerted me, I appreciate you. Those that are kind enough to review, I adore you as well. I hope I respond well to any comments or questions you have had!

A special thank you to my beta's... Maggieloo402 and AydenMorgan. Without you this story would be lost! And to my twitter girls, I love you all!! You can follow me on twitter if you'd like. I post teasers and talk dirty sometimes... (at)writerinmydream

There is a reference in this chapter from a movie, and it's NOT Pretty Woman. lol You get a special prize if you get it right!!

ENJOY!!

"The guys a total asshole. He has been going under the radar for far too long. We are so close to nailing him on something, I can taste it," my brother said intently from across the dining room table.

I sat silently and listened as Jasper went on and on about the crime rate in Chicago and how prostitution was taking over. I couldn't even look at him, so I pushed around the food on the plate in front of me, my sudden loss of appetite keeping me from actually taking a bite.

"How do you expect to get him if he's got people on the inside? You can't expect me to believe that there aren't some high profile jerks going to Midnight Sun," my father said.

"That's the fucking problem. I can't get past the people who keep giving him a heads up."

I looked quickly around the room, avoiding any eye contact with my older brother, Jasper. I knew exactly who he was talking about, and felt terrible because I had just come from there myself.

"Let's not talk about this at the dinner table, please?" my mother, Esme said sternly. "It turns my stomach."

"Sorry, mom," Jasper said.

I felt a temporary moment of relief before the attention was turned toward me once again.

"Edward, how are things with you?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"Fine," I answered simply.

There was never much for me to say when I was asked about my life. I had work, and that was all. I didn't have the heart to tell her that when I wasn't working, I spent most of my time staring out the window of my apartment, toward the city in front of me, wishing that I had something else, something greater, something to fill the gaping hole in my chest.

I wanted to scream that I was angry, and lonely, and bitter. I had closed myself off from the world, and it was my fault that I had nothing. I was nothing, and no one. My heart was black and full of hurt, something that could never be changed. No one deserved to have to put up with me; someone dark, and angry, and sad.

I ate the rest of my dinner silently, listening to my family as they talked happily about life and work.

Emmett told us about teaching and how his students were constantly trying to scam him. I had to laugh, imagining Emmett surrounded by a bunch of whining teenagers. He was big and brooding and not someone I would mess with if I didn't know him.

As he shoved another bite of lasagna into his mouth he told us about the girl he was dating. She was a teacher as well and they had met when he helped her get a bag of chips out of a vending machine that was holding them hostage.

I couldn't help but notice the sympathetic look Esme gave me when Emmett announced his intentions to marry her someday.

"Edward," she started.

"Don't," I snapped at her, silencing everyone around me.

She sighed heavily, looking between my father and I. I knew they pitied me, but I didn't want it or need it. I harbored enough hatred for myself without them making me feel worse. I didn't need the reminder of what my life had become.

The awkward silence was finally broken when Jasper thankfully changed the subject.

He spoke animatedly about large cases he had been working on since his promotion to Northern Illinois District Attorney. He was looking for something big to impress the Mayor. I swallowed hard when I thought back to his reference about Midnight Sun.

After dinner,everyone walked back into the living room, but I lingered behind. I moved out of the dining room and in the other direction, towards the library. I wandered up the stairs to the second floor, down the hall and into the massive room at the end.

My mother was an avid reader. She would spend hours in this room reading stories of wild adventures or everlasting love. Over the years, her collection had grown to be something massive. Now someone could find just about anything in here.

I wandered slowly down the aisles of books, inhaling the musty smell that lingered in the air. It reminded me of when I was a kid, and she would bring me up here with her. Some days I spent just as much time in this room as she did.

I found the book I was looking for easily. I had known exactly where it was, mainly because I had read it many, many times. I looked through the old, weathered book, smiling when I read the words that were written so beautifully on the antique pages.

It was a book of poems, written by famous men throughout the ages. Each page told a different story of love and desperation. I could recite most of it word for word.

I heard the echo of laughter trail into the room and moved to rejoin my family downstairs. I took the book with me, placing it on the hallway table by the door.

I tried my best to listen to the conversation that surrounded me, but my thoughts were lost in the pages of that book. The words would soon be traced, and sealed in a red envelope.

OoOoOoOoOo

Dear Isabella,

Words can never tell you, however, form them, transform them anyway, how perfectly dear you are to me, perfectly dear to my heart and soul.

I folded the paper gently into thirds and stuffed it into the red envelope on my desk. Frustration wracked my brain as I trailed my tongue down the edge of the envelope, sealing my silent words inside.

The day I saw her standing on the sidewalk I was captivated instantly. I knew from the moment her eyes met mine that I could not rest until I found out who she was. I followed her, for no other reason than to watch her. I was enchanted by her every movement.

I would never have guessed that she would walk up the steps to the building that hid the secret layer of Midnight sun.

The minute the door closed behind her, and she was lost from view, my heart sank.

Regardless of the harsh feelings I held toward her occupation, I continued to watch her. Every afternoon, when I left work, I would find myself wandering the streets around Midnight Sun, hoping she would appear. I kept quiet and hidden, not wanting to let on that I was near.

I could never allow myself to have a woman like her. She was more than beautiful and she emanated strength, something I hadn't felt in a long time. My mind, and my heart, was shut off to any emotion that was volatile and unpredictable. I needed structure and reliability. This woman was wild and sensual. I refused to let myself fall again.

I knew I could never be enough for her. Every part of me knew that I could never satisfy her, give her what she needed, what she deserved. I was empty, and broken, parts of a shattered whole that could never be fully repaired. She was complete and she needed someone just as strong and spirited as she was. I knew I could never be what she needed.

As the days went by, I became increasingly restless. Thoughts of her body tangled with other strange men plagued me night and day. I tossed restlessly in my sleep, unable to rid myself of the visions of her perfect body being touched by someone other than me.

I could feel myself slipping. The rules I had made to protect myself were giving way, and even thought I hardly knew her, her essence was already seeping into my system, leaving me hungry for more.

These letters were my only connection to the deep emotion that I felt inside. The long-buried emotion had begun making itself known again the moment I saw her, but my heart was still too heavily guarded to allow the emotion reign free. As I poured my heart into the words I wrote, the heavy emotion inside of me was allowed to break free from its cage for just a moment, just long enough to remind me how it felt to want someone.

I sighed heavily and stood from my desk, grabbing the letter. I scribbled the address across the front of the envelope and walked out of my house, dumping the letter into the mailbox as I passed.

I always felt a surge of relief when the red envelope slid into the metal box. It was almost as if writing down the words filled with such raw emotion temporarily removed the heavy weight of pain from my shoulders. I was able to tell her how I felt, without risking my heart at the same time.

I walked through the front doors of Chicago Memorial Hospital, mechanically making my way straight to the elevators inside. As I pressed the button to the floor that my office was on, my mind raced back to the emptiness that consumed me yesterday as the elevator doors slid shut between Bella and I.

I couldn't help but think I saw a hint of sadness deep in her eyes. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and refocused my attention on the familiar path to my office.

I walked into my office, nodding a quick hello to my secretary, Lauren. Yesterday had been my day off so I wasn't surprised when I saw a stack of patient files placed menacingly on my desk.

My office was cold, sterile. There was only one photo of my family that sat on the top shelf next to the door, covered in dust. Medical books, charts and reference manuals were strewn about, on the tables, on the chairs, even on the floor.

I sat down, switched on my computer, and got to work. I was about half way through my stack of files when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I said.

I looked up as the door pushed open and cocked my head to the side, wondering why my father was in my office. I raised my eyebrows in question before he began.

"I need your help," he started. "There is a woman that has just been checked in that's non-responsive to stimulation but breathing and fully conscious. She's got a history of stroke and was here about a month ago."

I stood up out of my chair quickly, grabbed the white lab coat that hung over my chair, and followed him out the door.

"Daughter says she came home last night to a fire in the house. The woman had been cooking but was unresponsive when she arrived."

I nodded curtly in response, mentally calculating the procedure for such a case as we neared the woman's room.

We moved quickly down the hall to the elevators, and I pressed the button for down. Although my father was the chief of surgery in this hospital, it was more than known that I, somehow, had become known for my ability to heal when others couldn't.

I followed Carlisle down the hall to the Intensive Care Unit. The walls were white and a harsh neon glare ricocheted from them. Gurneys and medical devices littered the halls, becoming more abundant as we got closer to the ICU.

He led me to a room in the far corner of the unit. I looked through the window as I approached, and saw a flash of long brown hair. Long, luscious, shiny hair, that curled a bit at the tips as it wafted down her shoulders.

It was her.

I would have moved to hide from view, but the horrid look in her eyes stopped me. I stood frozen where I was, unable to break free of the anguished look that she wore. A violent pain stabbed its way through my chest at the sight of her. The pained look in her eyes took my breath away and stopped my restlessly beating heart.

I was thankful that she couldn't see me from where she stood. Her gaze was intent on the woman lying in the bed at her side.

Her eyes were puffy and red, her hair matted to the sides of her face. She looked exhausted.

"Edward?" Carlisle called to me as he noticed I had stopped next to the window.

I turned to look at my father as he stood by the door to the room, waiting. I nodded, motioning to him to go in. Once he passed through the door, I sunk back against the wall.

Indecision plagued my thoughts as I weighed my options. My desire to attempt to help her mother was trumped by the realization that I couldn't meet her here, in this situation. I fought against the urge to go inside the room, knowing that this was neither the time nor the place for her to see me. The last thing she needed was to have a client there when she was going through something like this.

A client-- that's all I really was to her, even though she was so much more to me. I was just another faceless stranger that she must satisfy before getting her paycheck at the end of the week. To reveal myself now would only multiply the already abundant emotions she must be feeling at the moment, and from experience, I knew that it was unnecessary.

I leaned against the wall, watching her as she ran her hand through her mother's knotted hair. There was no response from the woman, and Bella started to cry.

It was almost unnatural, the pain that seared in the pit of my stomach when I saw the tears streaming down her pink cheeks. She was hurting, wounded, and I wanted nothing more than to go to her. Instead, I stood there like a frozen statue, knowing I my presence would be too much for her.

I watched Carlisle as he spoke to her, assuming he was informing her of the new doctor on the team. He looked around for me, not having realized I was not there. I was a coward, and selfish, for not wanting to show myself to her.

I stood there, like a gaping idiot, watching Bella as she cried. I took an automatic step forward when she leaned over and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. Her cried turned into sobs, and I cursed quietly that I couldn't console her.

As I sat there, debating whether or not I should leave, two girls rushed into the room.

I peered inside hesitantly. Bella was immediately pulled to her feet and surrounded by flashes of blonde and brown hair. She gripped them both tightly, tears flowing like water down her face. At one point the smaller, dainty looking girl looked up, and I saw that she too was crying.

I watched, in awe, as the three of them comforted each other. As pleased as I was that she had people there to stand by her, I felt a twinge of jealousy inside me.

I was on edge and more than desperate to find out what exactly was wrong with her mother. If I couldn't be there for Bella, I would do my damnedest to fix her mother. Unable to sit by and watch any longer, I turned and walked away, retreating to the safety of my office.

One week later.....

I couldn't help myself.

It had only been five days since the last time I had come to Midnight Sun. I was driving myself mad. Working with Bella's mother was trying, and things weren't going well. I had been lucky that I had been able to avoid Bella, leaving an unknowing Carlisle to dictate how things were proceeding.

I had been up for days, seeking some sort of answer that could help me heal her. The non-stop work was grating on me, and I needed a release. The pressure and frustration I felt from having to keep myself out of Bella's sight was wearing me thin.

Although I focused all my attention on avoiding her in public, I couldn't get enough of her behind closed doors. I refused to give in to my emotional desire for her, instead settling for what we could offer each other.

If by paying her, I was able to touch her and talk to her without having to voice my hidden feelings for her, so be it. As long as I could run my hands through her long, lustrous hair and taste her soft skin in my mouth, that would have to be enough for me.

It was both my best dream and my worst nightmare to let my emotions consume me. It was my dream in that I could make love to Bella the way I wanted to. I wanted her to know of my deep feelings and possibly even return them. But the hard walls around my heart had only seemed to strengthen with the new feelings I was now hiding there.

It was also my worst nightmare, because I would finally open my heart to the same emotion that had destroyed me before. I was not yet ready to place that power in another woman's hands after the first had destroyed me so completely. So, for this, I trusted her with my body, and my body only. We could be connected physically if no other way.

"Lay down on the bed, please," I said gently.

Without question, she pulled off her clothes and lay down on her back. I stood at the foot of the bed, looking down at her naked body. She was luminous. I bit back the urge to speak, to ask her about her day and how she was doing, instead slowly unbuttoning my shirt.

It only took a moment before I was naked as well, and I leaned forward to kneel on the bed. I reached down beside me and picked up a tiny foot. She giggled lightly, and I looked up, surprised to hear her laugh.

"Is this okay?" I asked nervously.

"Yes. I'm just a little ticklish." I smiled and chuckled to myself. I was going to have to remember that.

I sunk down into the bed, pulling her foot into one hand and cradling her calf with the other. Her toes were small and adorable as fuck as I ran my fingers over them. Another giggle erupted from within her small body.

"Sorry," she said, looking suddenly nervous.

"Never be sorry that you laugh. It's nice," I admitted, instantly wishing I had kept my mouth shut.

Her eyes brightened as she looked down at me. I dipped my head down and lightly grazed the tips of her toes with my lips. I heard her gasp, and felt her body tense.

"Relax," I whispered.

She explelled a waiting breath as I pulled her big toe into my mouth, nibbling at it gently with my teeth. She laughed again. I bit harder.

My tongue trailed the curves of her toes, moving up her foot painfully slow. I glanced up at her and my dick twitched, seeing her lay before me with her eyes closed.

My mouth lingered on the top of her foot, placing gentle kisses there. I ran my hands up and down her silky, smooth legs, nibbling at her shin, then her knee.

My wanting mouth met her thigh, and when I looked back up to see her response, I was pleased to see her sitting up with her eyes wide open and wild.

She was enjoying this. I could tell. I smiled lightly at the realization and turned my attention back to her long, enchanting legs.

"You don't have to do this," she said cautiously.

"I want to," I assured her.

I nipped at the inside of her thigh and she cried out, arching her back off the bed. The tips of my fingers edged towards her core as she writhed under my touch. Slowly, I edged my fingers between her folds and groaned. She was already wet.

Part of me wanted to think that I had made her this way. She was wet and ready because of how delicately I was touching and tempting her. What I couldn't tell her, I was showing her and her body was answering me the only way it could.

Another, more brutal side, knew that any woman would have this kind of reaction from being touched like this.

"You're wet," I said.

"Mmmm..." was all she said.

I smiled, my breath flowing over her hot skin, making her flesh prickle. My fingers moved higher yet, and I pressed one into her core.

My cock was aching and I wanted her desperately, but I needed her to come to my touch. Something in the back of my mind had convinced me that by pleasing her in this way, I might be worthy of this angel.

I moved my finger higher into her cunt, swirling it around, searching for the tender spot I was looking for. She bucked her hips and pressed herself down onto me, showing me she wanted more.

I slipped in a second finger, pressing harder into her. My mouth found the inside of her thigh and I traced a circle on her skin with my wet, needy tongue. The sound of her moans taunted me.

My fingers plunged into her with fervor as I lifted my head to bring my lips to her hot cunt. She moaned again, louder, sending waves of lust straight to my cock. My tongue darted out to tease her clit while I moved inside her.

I twisted my hand quickly and jumped when I heard her gasp. She clamped down onto my fingers as they rubbed inside her, moaning and writhing as she came hard. I held my breath, because if I didn't have something to distract myself, I would have cum right then with her.

Her erotic panting and gasping for air coursed through my body, making me feel on fire. I pulled my fingers out of her and quickly hovered over her, taking a condom from the table and slipping it over my dick. Covering her body with mine, I took her, pressing myself deep into her.

She moaned, and I felt it echo in the pits of my stomach.

I watched her as I thrust into her, feeling her hot cunt stretch for me. Her moist breath traveled over my chest as I hung over her. I looked down into her eyes while I drove into her again, and she smiled.

My heart crushed in my chest and I groaned. Not from the feeling of her below me, not from the way her skin felt pressed up against mine, but from the way she looked at me as I buried myself in her. Her eyes were bright and full of passion that I had never seen before.

She sent chills down me spine when my name escaped her lips in a low, almost silent whisper. I closed my eyes and looked away, feeling myself being dragged in deeper.

Suddenly feeling panicked and needing release, I pulled my cock out of her and thrust back quickly. I felt the walls of her cunt squeeze tight around me, urging me on.

I panted desperately into her neck, breathing the smell of her deep into my lungs. I moved harder, faster, inside her until finally, after one last thrust, I fell over the edge.

She shouted out seconds after I came, and as I rode out my orgasm, I held her tight through hers.

So?? What did you think? Please leave a review, they are very helpful! What is the movie reference people??