Chapter 3: Daddy's Overwhelmed and Unimpressed
A/N: Okay, my lovelies. Help? Please?
I have a core group of wonderful people who review, pm, favourite, and generally give me their love. And I'm grateful. I have responded to every single signed review and pm, and I plan to continue to do so. You are a blessing to me.
Some people have reviewed every single chapter I have published. That's... 120 chapters as of 5/27/10. Yes, I do notice:) Some day, when you are least expecting it, you will get a special reward. Because I value your dedication. Thank you.
Tuesday, 5/25/10, my stats report that not one person read a single one of my stories on ffnet. In eight months, that has never happened.
So, being a sappy date, who craves her daily fix of praise, I am begging for two things: First, if you don't do this regularly, will you do something this week to tell me you're hanging with me? Review, favourite, recommend, pimp, pm, nominate, do something to help me add to my audience. I love my audience. I wish I could sit you all down in a room and read aloud to you. Trust me I do not take a single one of you for granted. However, the more the merrier.
(If you're a new reader, welcome!)
Second, if anybody has time and talent, I would be tickled to death if you would make me a banner or start up a thread/community (except I don't have time to Twitter). You know I love to get to know my readers, and if you put in the effort, I will be there. Often.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is unintentional.
Now, on to the good stuff: Time with Dadward!
Saturday, August 26th, 2005,
Dear Ren,
I'm glad I have a perfect memory, because I'm not taking you on a plane until you're old enough to go to the restroom (assuming you have to do that).
Mommy and I are on the Flight from Hell.
Yeah, I'm whining again. And judging from the look your mother just gave me, she knows it, too. She's not reading over my shoulder, either. She never does. I love that.
Your aunts and uncles used to think about reading my journals. I am amazed, actually, that they never went in my room and peeked. Well, actually they did once, when your mother and I split up. I had left, and they were worried about me. But my family found out everything, and that's just wrong.
That was a disaster. The break-up, I mean. I was an idiot. It's also water under the bridge, so I wish I could forget how I hurt her. Even the nap only dulled it down. Perhaps that's for the best. I'm much more careful about how I treat her now.
Digressing, as usual. Digressing, and whining. Tired of me yet? I can just see your eyes roll. Hate to tell you how much you look like me when you do that. What? Alice Saw it, so don't tell me it ain't so.
Back to the point: Yeah, they went and rifled through all my journals. I use them to sort myself out. My private thoughts exposed. And they wondered why I didn't like having people in my room? Duh.
I probably wouldn't mind if your mother read them, because she wouldn't freak out and she wouldn't judge. She's like Carlisle that way. But the nice thing about your mother is, she asks. She asked to see my baby picture, for instance, and it was tucked in a journal. She enjoyed seeing the picture, but she didn't ask to read what I'd written about it.
Yes, I have let her read some things. And now that we're married, there are other things I want her to read, that would be most easily expressed to her this way. But ... you wouldn't want to know about that stuff, trust me. Seriously. Don't touch my journals. You'll be grounded forever if you do. And I do mean forever.
Holy! I may be developing intense sympathy for Charlie. Scary thought. Well, he likes me now, so even if you mess up, you can believe I'll still love you.
As well, if Bella does burn, and should she lose any of her human memories, I have pretty much written out everything that has happened in our lives for the past nineteen months. So I won't let her forget. Yeah, not even the bad stuff. She has a right to know all about her life.
Guess I could end up doing that for you, too, baby girl.
I'm writing to you whilst on the plane heading for the Amazon, in case you haven't figured that out. Our seats are not the best, and we're stuck next to this big heavy guy, Jerry, who does not smell the best. In fact, the air is stale, the 143 passengers and the 6 crew stink of old ,dry sweat, and the baby across the aisle just cakked in its pants. Again.
I know I should feel sorry for it. Well, I do. But it just smells awful, and I'm afraid to stop breathing in case Jerry notices.
By the way, he's an aspiring author and he's thinking all sorts of wicked things about me and your mother. Things that should have me turning him inside out with rage, but have me laughing instead. I don't know what's up with that. Perhaps it's something to do with knowing your mother is happily married to me (I could repeat that sentence over and over in my head like one of Alice's attempts to distract me from things she doesn't want me to know. Bella is happily married to me...Bella is happily married to me... la la la...).
I do hope Jerry writes the book. I shall be the first in line to buy it, assuming he writes it under his own name. Wouldn't that be a gas! It wouldn't be for your tender ears, though, lovey. You'd probably want to bleach your brain, picturing your mother and I~
Yeah, it happens to be about a young doctor and some girl he meets. Well, at least I could be an actual people-doctor vicariously, through the book. That would be so funny. If it were well-written, I might even tell Carlisle. He'd get a kick out of that.
You know, I might even look Jerry up, and get him to sign it, if it ever gets written. Yeah. For sure I'd have to do that.
Your Mommy just put my hand on her tummy, and you are kicking up a storm. I think you're mad at that poor little baby for screaming his head off. Holy, he's wearing me out! The stench is tickling my throat and making me cough. Alice said I wouldn't be contagious by now, thank God! All these people would catch the bug, since there's no fresh air on this plane.
Guess I should be glad for the sinus, because it's dulled my sense of smell. I do hope I'm better by tomorrow, though. I'm going to need my strength and my nose.
I am bizarrely excited to be taking your mother out into the middle of nowhere. Hopefully, amidst all this searching for informants who will talk to us, we will get a bit of alone-time. Despite the glitch, I just know that things are going to go well, and that I'll learn things that will help me take care of you and your mother. 'Cause taking care of you both, that's all that matters.
Baby? I know you're mad at the baby who's yelling, but forgive him. He's just a baby. He can't help it. Maybe he'll grow up to be a really swell guy.
Aw, in the name of all that's holy! The little kid just did it again. Aw, and he projectile vomited, too. And they're out of diapers. The poor mother just went off her nut. Not her fault if Hubby just thought it would be the bees knees to take Baby to see the old man's birthplace. Like, why not take the kid when he's old enough to remember?
Did I mention I'm not taking you on a plane 'til you're potty trained? This is why.
Half an hour to go, sweets. Then, I'm gonna grab your Mom and make a mad dash for the exit. Almost there. Thank God!
Have I said how cute your mother looks tonight? You are an actual baby bump now. I can see you. Well, sort of. Okay, I can see where you're living. Hope you like your digs. You'd better think they're perfect. I do.
Your Mom has on these brown denim short-coveralls and a pale blue t-shirt that Auntie Alice picked for her. And her hair's done up like Judy Garland's in "The Wizard of Oz". I kid you not. Bella is adorable. Remind me to stick a picture of her in the journal. Wait, I have one. I'll do it now.
There. Isn't that nice? Well, I know it's a skimpy bathing suit, but you should see what the other ladies have on. When we get to the jungle, I'll take pictures for you of her in her overalls. Promise.
Glad you're dancing, Tigger. It's a good way to live. Mom's glad, too. Her smile, when she touches her abdomen? It's beautiful, Ren. She loves you so much. Just like I do.
Love always,
Daddy