Chapter Three

JPOV:

Esme held me, rocking me back and forth, whispering reassurances as the anguish and pain started to flood back in. The couple of hours I was being held by Bella was nice, but I knew the reprieve would only be temporary. I closed my eyes, trying to steel myself up for the onslaught that was coming. Esme's expert hands stroking my hair brought little comfort as the pain and suffering of the thousands of souls I had condemned came rushing through me.

This was my hell.

This was my penance because of all the destruction I had brought in my years with Maria.

I deserved it.

"My sweet boy . . ." I heard Esme whisper.

I wanted to tell her that I wasn't sweet. I wasn't her boy anymore. I was the monster that people told their children about. I was "Maligno." The evil one, the right hand of the devil. I deserved this pain.

I got hit with another wave of panic and pain as another memory hit me. I could hear a child screaming in my head. I wretched myself out of Esme's arms. I didn't want to hurt her. No one else would fall to harm because of my actions.

I fell to the ground, hearing the child scream over and over again. I remembered that night with vampire clarity. How could I forget the night that sent me into my first bout of depression? Damn my immortal mind for having a flawless memory; some memories were better off forgotten.

I sensed Edward and Peter in the room.

"Maligno," I whispered, baring my teeth. The villagers called me that, and rightfully so. I embraced the pain, remembering everything that I did to those vampires and villagers while underneath the siren call of Maria.

"No, Baby, that is not what you are," Esme told me, placing her hand on my back. Her touch brought me back to the present, and not in the God-forsaken village. The screams, pleas of mercy, hopelessness filled me.

"Edward, where is he?" Peter asked.

"A small village in Mexico, it seems to be around the early 1900s."

"Yacoche," I grounded out.

"Maria had commanded that Jasper lead a rebellion against a small coven there. A coven made of newborns. They were running rampant and Jasper was sent to stop them and to expand the feeding ground," Edward sighed. "A child is screaming, begging for Jasper to stop. Newborns had just drained her entire family."

"I'm sorry sweet Celia," I closed my eyes, surrendering to the pain.

"I remember this. It was in 1919, one of my first missions with Jasper. Maria wanted to expand her hunting grounds to the Yucatan. Celia's parents were the among first killed. She ran to Jasper, begging for help. Jasper was taken with Celia. She didn't fear him for some reason."

"He ran with her," Edward said. "Away from the village to keep her safe from Maria."

I nodded. "I needed to save her."

"And you did," Peter told me. "You found her a home."

"Maria turned her later," Edward said quickly, trying to spare the family of the gruesome details. It was gruesome. Maria had found out about Celia years later and turned her in front of me for my disobedience. She had become a plaything for the soldiers and had taken her own life, walking into the pyre.

"She had him punished for his disobedience right after," Charlotte whispered.

I felt two arms encase me, and I instinctually wrapped my arms back around her. Bella. Her hair and skin was still wet from her shower, her natural, clean scent surrounding me. I could smell the strawberries and raspberries, mixed with salt from her tears.

"Don't cry for me Bella, I don't deserve your tears . . ."

"Don't tell me what you deserve. Let me be the judge of that." She wrapped her arms around me tighter, whispering reassurances as her touch started driving back the emotions.

"You don't know about my past," I whispered. I didn't want to tell her of all the horrendous things I had done. I was, in the truest sense of the word, a monster.

"I lived a life without regret, without morals, without really feeling, and in a deep depression first seventy years of my immortal existence. I was created to destroy. It was all I knew, I didn't know that there was a better way," I told her. "I had a different upbringing than my adopted siblings."

The rest of the family left and I scooped Bella into my arms as I walked out of her room into mine.

I sensed her awe and wonder as she looked around my room for the first time. The room was decorated in rich, dark colors, with dark wood furniture and books lining the walls. There was a Bonnie Blue flag displayed above the desk. We sat quietly on the bed for a couple of minutes. She sat Indian style in front of me, rubbing circles on the back on my hand.

"No matter what you did, I will never judge you."

I could feel the conviction in her words. I didn't want to lose her.

"You won't," Edward called from the kitchen.

"I created in 1863 by an immortal named Maria," I started. I told her about seeing the three women, thinking they were stragglers after the evacuation of Galveston. She held me as I told her about being Maria puppet and being "rewarded" for my actions with either sex with her or the humans that we were going to slaughter.

I showed her the scars that peppered my body. I was prepared for the reaction of disgust, but Bella never did anything that you would expect from her. She traced my prominent scars softly. I waited for her to call me monster . . . Maligno.

"You have a beautiful soul Jasper Whitlock." She wrapped her free hand in my hair. "Your past doesn't matter. You fought against everything you were taught during your first years of existence to develop morals, to find who you truly are. You are not the evil one."

Bella wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest, where my dead heart laid. I placed my hand in her hair, closing my eyes, thanking God for sending her back into our lives.

"Jasper, I will do whatever I can to help you. I will spend the rest of my life holding your hand if I have to. You are not a monster, not the Maligno."

I was getting ready to respond when her cell rang.

BPOV

I sighed with frustration as I grabbed my cell phone. Dad. I knew he was going to be pissed, but I was an adult and able to lead my own life.

"Isabella Marie Swan . . ."

"Hi to you too Dad," I replied cheekily.

"Where are you now?"

I sighed. Carlisle and I had worked out a cover story on the way out here. "I got accepted to the University of New England, and had to make a decision rather quickly as classes here already started. I needed a change Dad, and I've always wanted to see the east coast."

It wasn't a complete lie. Carlisle had pulled some strings and did get me admitted to several online courses so I could keep up my degree. I did have one seated class though Monday nights with Emmett. It was a necessary course for freshmen, and I didn't want to leave Jasper, but it had to be done.

"Why didn't you tell me about this? I mean, a little heads up would have been nice."

"I was wait-listed, and didn't really think anything of it until I got a call yesterday that a spot in their history program opened up."

"Does Amanda know about this?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I already paid for my rent in full for the next several months, so it gives her time to find another roommate. Look Dad, this is important for me."

I heard Charlie sigh. This was going to be really hard on him, and I knew that. But something told me that Jasper needed me more right now. None of this made sense, but for some reason, I was the one who would be able to help him.

I felt Jasper's hand tighten around my waist in a show of support. I needed his strength right now. "I love you Dad, and I promise, I will keep in touch, but I need this."

"I can tell that your mind is made up Kiddo, I just wish I had more time with you . . ."

"Dad, this isn't forever, it's just for the next couple of years," I lied. I didn't know how long it would be, and something told me that this would most likely change my life forever.

"I'll save up for a plane ticket to come see you sometime soon Bells, okay?"

"Yeah, Dad, I would love that. I'll call you in a little bit, and eat right for me, okay?"

"Steak and cobbler all the way."

"Try to throw a salad in there every so often, will you?"

"Only for you."

With that, he hung up the phone. We both knew the time would come where I would move on from Forks, we just hadn't expected for it to come some soon.

Jasper sighed, looking down at me with a self-deprecating look on your face.

"I know what you are feeling, and you need to stop Jasper. A long time ago, you told me I was worth it, and I'm telling you now, that you are worth it too. I choose to get on that plane with Emmett and Carlisle and I would do it again." I reached out and smoothed the wrinkle between his brow.

He shook his head with disbelief. One day, he would see himself for who he truly was.

"Are you hungry? Esme is downstairs cooking enough for an Army. You might have to go down there and help reign her in. It's been a little bit, and she really doesn't know how to cook for just one person."

"I heard that Jasper Whitlock Cullen, now get down here. Your brother just brought you some elk and Bella, I made you a tomato and mozzarella Panini."

"Moms, you can't live with them." I shrugged nonchalantly, standing up quickly, clasping our hands together. Eating was difficult, but we were learning quickly how to do things in tandem.

Jasper looked over at me and gave me an easy smile. I squeezed his hand, giving him a show of reassurance. I was doing the right thing. He was worth it.

I sat on the couch, working on my history assignment. It was a family tree, and we were supposed to trace back at least five generations. I sighed, running my free hand through my hair.

"See, I told you this would be impossible, there is no way you can do your homework while holding my hand," Jasper protested, trying to let go of my hand.

I held tight, situating myself on his lap instead. "It wasn't because of that, it was because of my family tree. I have to be able to trace back five generations, that's at least a hundred years. My mom was adopted and her parents were killed when she was five. My dad, well I can go as far as my great-grandmother."

"Well, then let's start there. What was her name?"

"Rachel Spinnaker. Her maiden name was Williams . . ."

Peter came into the room. "Where was she born?"

"California," I responded. "A little town near Sacramento. Grannie Rachel lived with dad, right up until she diet in 1987. She's buried in Forks. Dad says I look like her. I know her mother's name, it was Natalie. She said that her father died in WWI."

Peter looked at me.

"Rachel Williams is my daughter . . ." he trailed off. "Her parents were Natalie and Howard Williams, but her biological father was Peter Granger.

"I died on my way back to them. There was an awful bus accident on our way back up to Sacramento from San Diego. Jasper found me dying on the side of the road, and he changed me. It took me years to remember Natalie. When I finally found her, she had remarried and our daughter was being raised by a good man."

"Well, hell, I'm related to you?"

"Seems to be," Peter said sitting next to us.

Carlisle came in, smiling, obviously overhearing the entire conversation. "Peter is Bella's great-great grandfather. Feeling old now, aren't you?"

"Shut it Grandpa," Peter grumbled.

"I think it's wonderful that you found your bloodline Peter," Esme piped up.

I looked at Jasper and started to snicker. "If you sired Peter, than that makes you my great-great-great-grandfather. Man, you are an old mo-fo."

Peter started laughing and Jasper growled at him. I rolled my eyes and continued working on my project. I needed to get it to campus tonight, something I wasn't looking forward to doing.

"Come on Bella, we have to get going," Emmett told me for the third time.

"No," I said stubbornly, "I don't understand I have to go to Freshmen 101, technically I'm not a freshmen . . ."

Carlisle sighed. "Bella, we took you from your home, your classes, you need to socialize with people other than vampires. You need to see that Jasper can handle some of this without you. There will be a time where he is going to have too. You need to continue one with some of those dreams."

"I agree Sweetheart," Jasper told me, squeezing my hand. "It will be good to get out of the house with Emmett and Peter. You need to have a life as well."

We had settled into a comfortable routine the past week, and now I had to come out of my bubble. Our bubble. Jasper and I lived comfortably; I had showers timed to fifteen minutes and spent most of my day wrapped up in him. Then after eating breakfast, we would settle down in the library, me working on my course work, and Jasper would hold me, helping me with the history papers. Sometimes he would read his own books, but we were comfortable, and getting to know more about each other. It was a shame that we hadn't gotten a chance to know each other better when we were in Forks, he could have easily been one of my best friends.

Being around Alice and Edward, it was weird for me, but they seemed happy, and always were respectful of our feelings. They didn't flaunt their relationship around us, but I could tell that they completed each other in a way that Edward and I never did.

I brushed the blond curls out of his eyes, and wrapped my arms around him.

"But the pain, Jas," I whispered.

"I'll get through it knowing that you will be back in three hours. I promise. I'm a warrior. It will work out."

I sighed and kissed him on the cheek. I reluctantly ran out the door, not wanting to see Jasper fall in pain again.

Emmet snickered as he climbed into the car. "What is the big one all giddy about?"

I shrugged my shoulders, pulling out my Ipod.

"Ickle Bella has a crush on Jasper," Emmett said, making a kissing noise.

"What?" Peter said, putting in his contacts.

"I kissed him on the cheek, not that big of a deal . . ." I trailed off, staring back at the house.

"Kinda is, little sis. Jasper rarely lets anyone touch him. When he first came to the coven, he almost hurt Esme. He gained control of it now, but he still has some problems with it," Emmett said, driving like a bat out of hell.

"His sire really fucked him up," Peter said knowingly.

Several hours later, I walked into the house looking for Jasper. The class was a complete waste of the time. The class was about freshmen orientation to the university, library skills, and junk like that. Emmett and Peter said it was a requirement for all freshmen, but still a complete waste of time. The whole class, all I could do was sit and think of Jasper, hoping that he was okay, that he would be relatively fine when I got home.

"Where are they Emmett?"

He sighed. "They are down in the basement."

I took off, trying to find them. "Bells, wait!"

I took the stairs two at a time, and found Jasper chained up against the wall. "How . . . why?" I stuttered out. Jasper snapped his eyes toward me, eyes completely black. I walked toward him placed my hand on his outstretched arm.

"Bella." Jasper breathed out my name and I wrapped my arms around him, burying my head in his chest. "I'm alright now. It was a particularly bad spell. Nothing to worry about."

"Why the hell did I listen to you?" I screamed at Carlisle. "Why did you guys chain him up and how?"

"Molybdenum," Carlisle explained, sorrow etched on his face. "It's the only metal that we can't disseminate. We had to chain him up because he was causing himself bodily harm. I didn't want him hurting himself. He was begging for us to throw him into a pyre."

"You said you could handle this, that you would be okay. This isn't okay, it's not okay . . ."

Jasper tightened his hold around me. "We expect too much from you. You are human and have to go about life. It's not your job to take care of me. I'm not worth all this trouble. Just send me to Volterra. Aro can have his wish and destroy me."

I smacked him, hard - hurting myself more than him. "You are worth it damn it. You are."

"I would have never given you the Cullen crest if I didn't see a good man in you," Carlisle told him, clapping his son on the shoulder. "You wear it proudly, and don't forget how far you came. We all have something in our past that we are ashamed of, including me. Yes, you have struggled the most, but you have gained the most. I'm proud of you and I will not stand by and let my son destroy himself."

"I won't let my brother hurt himself," Edward chimed in. "Bella is right, you are worth it. We will figure something out. Tomorrow Alice and I are going to head down to New Orleans. You said that this is where it all started."

Alice reached out and grabbed Edward's arm. He focused on the vision, and started sketching out the face that Alice and shown him.

"Who is this?" Edward asked, showing Jasper a picture. Edward had drawn a woman with dreadlocks, with a round face and olive skin.

Jasper cringed, seeing the picture. "Malia." He took a deep breath and I squeezed his hand. "I was out hunting in the bayou when I saw her. The next thing I knew, she was in front of me, muttering in some language I didn't understand. She said that I needed to be punished for my crimes. The next thing I knew, I was wandering around the swamp, feeding off of alligators and opossums. Then Carlisle and Esme found me."

"That's all?" Alice asked.

"That's all I remember Ali."

"It's okay," I said, caressing his cheek. It was getting easier and easier being around Jasper. He really had a good soul, and I wished that he could see it himself. "It's obvious that something happened. Maybe she put a spell on you?"

"Witchcraft, really?" Rosalie scoffed. "What are the odds?"

"Said the vampire who helped make treaties with werewolves," I scoffed right back. "Look, all I'm saying is in my vast 19 years of living that things aren't always what they seem. If anything, you guys taught me that. All I'm saying is that if she did place a spell on him, then maybe she can lift it."

"And I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss her Rose," Carlisle said quietly. "In my years at Volterra, there were whispers of bokors and priestess involved in Voodoo. We were sent to investigate, but never found anything."

"Bokor?" Emmett asked.

"A person who performs the black magic rituals," I explained.

Edward shot me a look.

"I took a mythology class last semester. The shit they had on you guys, completely wrong. Garlic, wood stake to the heart, classic Hollywood," I laughed and Jasper chuckled; it was a welcomed sound in comparison to what I saw today. I looked in his eyes and saw that he really needed to hunt/drink, whatever the case may be. "Come on, eat with me. My two vampire classmates forgot that I eat."

He switched hands with me and led me up the stairs where Esme was. "My son," she breathed, running over to him.

"It's alright Ma, I'm sorry . . ." Jasper choked out. "I'm sorry that you have to feel this way."

"My sweet boy. I know that Carlisle and I really aren't your parents, and well, you are older than me, but I am your mother. When any of you hurt, I hurt, get used to it. Now, I warmed up some tomato soup and made a grilled cheese for Bella, and would you like bear, elk, or deer. Maybe I can get Carlisle to run out and get you something different . . ."

"Bear is fine," Jasper said, pulling me into his lap at the breakfast nook. He took a deep breath.

"Smelling me?" I asked as I took a bite of my grilled cheese - it was completely off the chain, FYI.

"You smell like strawberries and raspberries, with a hint of vanilla. Good enough to eat, I mean the metaphorically of course," he joked with me.

"You smell like pine and the salt air," I told him.

"You shouldn't be able to pick out my scent," Jasper replied, taking a pull of his blood.

"Yeah, well I have never been normal."

"Thank God for that," Jasper whispered into my hair. He placed a soft kiss on my head. "I never thanked you for wanting to save me."

"And you never have to."

We finished up dinner and found the rest of the family sitting in the loft. Alice was looking at me, in astonishment.

"Were you really drunk, singing karaoke, jumping up and down on the stage without breaking a limb?" Alice asked. Edward was snickering, obviously remembering my less than graceful moments in Forks.

"I have it on my Iphone! I'll hook it up to the television so we can watch it . . ." Emmett jumped up and did it in a blink of the eye.

"Hey, I think I did pretty good . . ."

Emmett hit play, and I watched as I belted out Bon Jovi.

"Encore!" Emmett screamed.

I shook my head as Jasper chuckled, as he grabbed his guitar, I took it from him, and perched in his lap.

I started tuning it, as Edward and Emmett just stood there. "A lot happened in a year. Amanda convinced me that taking a guitar class would be a good idea to pick up guys. I learned a little bit."

I started playing some opening chords, and Jasper started singing.

His voice was rich and raspy, easy to sing with.

Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sendin all my love
Along the wireI joined in, and he faded out, as he wrapped his arms around me as I continued strumming.

They say that the road
Ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line
Its been you and me
And lovin a vampire man
Aint always what it's supposed to be

Edward chuckled at the change of lyrics, and nodded at me. Jasper, just tightened his hold, and took over singing again.

Oh girl you stand by me
I'm forever yours...faithfully

Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile
Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am
Lost without you

I continued singing with him in harmony, strumming the song out."Interesting choice of song Bella," Jasper told me.

And being apart ain't easy
On this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy
Of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
Im forever yours...faithfully

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's the only song I know off the top of my head."

"I never knew you could sing," Rosalie said. "It was actually really good."

"Thanks, I guess." I gave the guitar to Jasper, and wound my arms around him, shifting our position. "I really only sing in the shower, and I can hold my own with at a bar."

He started strumming some songs, singing some, letting Edward sing some. Rosalie and I talked for a little bit, listening to her siblings play around. They had an infinite amount of time on their hands, and would get bored. This was one of their ways of filling up time.

I continued listening as Jasper passed the guitar to Edward and started playing Your Body is Wonderland. Jasper pulled me up and started dancing with me.

It seemed so normal, so human, for a couple of minutes. Carlisle and Esme were swaying softly, Rose and Emmett were dancing with us, and Alice was wrapped around Edward as he played for us. Eleazar, Carmen, Peter and Char were singing along while sitting on the couch. Peter was off tune, and extremely loud, and Charlotte hit him with a pillow.

After several go around, I started getting tired, and Emmett suggested a movie, so we called it a night and popped in a movie. I should have known it wasn't going to stay normal for too much longer.

I woke up the next morning, cradled in Jasper's arms. I had fallen asleep while watching Interview with a Vampire, and he had brought me upstairs to his room to rest. I have to admit, his room was more comfortable than mine, and his bed was a hell of a lot more comfortable for some reason.

"I know you are awake," he said, threading his fingers through my hair.

"I know that you know, but I didn't feel like waking up yet. Hold me for a couple more minutes?" I asked, snuggling into his granite chest.

"Anything for you. If anything good came out of this at all, I got to know you," he kissed my forehead.

The little kisses and caresses were happening more with each passing day. I suppose it was normal, considering we had to be in constant contact with each other.

"Do you know that I read that the average person needs to be touched to survive?" I asked.

"I heard that somewhere," Jasper replied, his southern twang still husky from disuse. Or maybe it was always husky sounding.

"I think we are filling up enough for a lifetime," I told him. "It's a good thing that you live for an eternity."

He chuckled. "Oh the things you think of."

I smiled into his chest. "Why don't we stay in bed all day. I finished up all my class work, and we had a hell of a day yesterday. I think I'm gonna hate Mondays for awhile."

"Sorry you had to see me like that." His voice sounded sad. "I'm sure it won't happen again. That was the worst it has ever been . . ."

"Malia is coming!" Alice screeched, running into the rooom.

Jasper bolted upright, and I feel to the ground, quickly grabbing his hand to keep the emotions in check for him. "Shit, sorry Bells."

"It's fine. How much time do we have Alice . . ."

"I don't know, she is screwing with my visions. All we can do is sit and wait," Alice supplied. Her eyes glossed over and I knew that she was looking into the future trying to find solutions for everything. I hoped to God that she could find something, and soon.

AN: A lot happened in this chapter, I know, but I wanted Jasper and Bella to have some fluffy moments now before shit hit the fan . . .

As always let me know what you think. I had rewritten this champter several times, and am not still fond of the outcome.

Reviews rock my socks, and I'm more inspired on this story right now than the others, but I have not forgotten about the other stories either.