Bloopers in TFA: Slash Style

Episode: Autobotboot Camp 1

(Meet the Actors style & Blooper style mix)

'Halt! I order you to Halt! In the name of the Elite Guard!' Sentinel shouted, racing after the green car.

'... Does he actually expect Wasp to stop?' Bumblebee asked from the sidelines.

'Nah. Cops just have to say that,' Bulkhead answered, relaxing back against a cliff to watch the scene.

'Now, what do you say you come along quietly,' Sentinel suggested, holding out the energon cuffs. The Prime smirked as his prey turned around and raised his seros into the air as if to surrender.

'That's a good, little decepticon spy. And when we get back, I'll make sure you remember why it isn't smart to try to escape. I'll make you remember over, and over... perhaps the other guards will want to join in too. We might even let you overload too this time. You're so pretty when you overload, decepticon scum,' Sentinel smirked up at the scout.

He completely missed the glare Wasp shot him, before the scout activated his stinger and shot the space bridge dead centre.

'Waaaaahhh!' Sentinel yelped, falling flat on his big, ugly chin.

(perv)

'Ultra Magnus to Optimus Prime. I have an all sector bulletin for an escaped convict. Wasp is considered armed, dangerous and sexy.'

'Uh... sexy, sir?' Optimus raised an optic.

'That is correct. He's the number one most wanted prisoner in the stockades. It's not every day we get our servos on a hot little decepticon spy with a tight aft. He is to be apprehended as soon as possible and returned. Ultra Magnus out.'

'WHAAAAAAT? It's not fair! I have a tighter aft that him. Why can't I have every bot in the galaxy after me too?' Bumblebee whined, racing out of the room.

(flashback)

'It isn't how you were forged, it's who you know,' Wasp announced, eyeing the hot piece of aft leaning closer to him.

'So, who should a bot know around here?' Bumblebee asked seductively.

'I'll give you a hint...' Wasp smirked, running a servo up the other mech's chest.

'Can I have... more than a hint?' Bumblebee moaned at the teasing, wrapping his arms around the other scout's waist.

'Hmmm... perhaps,' the green mech grinned.

(end flashback)

(ooh, Wasp has a sexy voice :)

'Do you know this bot?' Ultra Magnus looked down at Bumblebee, noticing for the first time that the yellow mech was a scout-model... just like Wasp.

'Slag yeah... sir. He's my rival!' Bumblebee boasted, sticking out his chasis.

'Really? Then I suggest you keep a lookout for him,' Ultra Magnus ordered, watching the cute yellow scout salute and walk out of the room.

'Optimus.'

'Yes sir?'

'If anything of a... sexual nature happens between those two, make sure to get it on tape. Ultra Magnus out.'

'Sigh! Everyone notices the scouts,' Optimus pouted to himself, wishing he'd been given a scout-form instead.

'I dunno. It's an awfully big job for just the two of us,' Bulkhead replied.

'You never dream big enough, Bulkie. For example, if you want to get a peek at my cord and valve, you're gonna have to make a move,' Bumblebee announced, leaning over to display his perfect yellow aft.

Bulkhead gaped, cheek-plates flushed pink at the sight.

'You sure you don't want to make a move... Right now?' the scout's voice dropped to a sensual whisper as he rolled his hips, aft moving provocatively.

'Bumblebee! You're suppose to be going after Wasp!' Optimus stepped out from the shadows and frowned at the pair.

'CUT!' Sentinel yelled, before yanking his former room-mate back by the arm.

'Why do you keep interrupting these scenes?' the blue mech growled under his breath.

'If you weren't so perverted, we'd be finished filming this episode already,' Optimus shot back.

'Oh yeah, well if you weren't so... so...' Sentinel fumbled for a come-back.

'If we finish this episode fast, I'll give you a servo job,' the fire truck whispered sensually as he leaned close to the director.

Sentinel sputtered, then shouted for a re-take.

'And make it SNAPPY! No mistakes this time!'

Optimus smirked.

(flashback)

'I am Sentinel Minor, your drill sergeant. But you lynch-nuts will address me as Sir or Master. Is that clear!' the blue mech with the huge chin ordered.

'Sir, yes Master Sir!'

'Heh, heh, heh. Operation Sentinel's Personal Harem is a go,' the mech chuckled under his breath.

(it's a good thing Soundwave isn't around to read Sentinel's thoughts)

'Not bad. I'm gonna call you... Longarm.'

~Hmmm... wonder how he does with servo jobs.~

'Alright soldier. Show me your stuff,' Sentinel ordered to the orange, muscular mech.

The mech quickly changed from orange to silver.

~Well that was... pointless.~

'That's it?' Sentinel raised an optic.

'Hit me, Sir!'

~Hmm... maybe he's kinky. Bondage and paddles for this one.~

Sentinel grunted as his shield hit the bot's armor and bounced off without a scratch.

'Well, nice plating... Ironhide.'

~Definitely paddles... maybe even metal ones.~

The little green scout stepped forward, stingers coming into view as he shot two targets dead on.

'Nice stinging... Wasp!'

~Very nice. And such a sexy little form too. I already did prefer the little ones.~

'I'll show you stinging,' the yellow scout boasted, before firing several shots that leveled a tower.

~Bumbling little brat. If only his attitude was as attractive as his body. It's gonna take a lot of punishment to turn him into a real soldier... mmm... punishment.~

'You're a bumbler. From now on, you're called Bumblebee!'

The yellow scout pouted cutely, nearly making Sentinel take back the embarrassing name. Nearly...

'You got a problem with that, Cadet?' he leaned down, glaring at the scout.

'No sir!' Bumblebee yelped, stepping back just in time to avoid being smashed by a giant green ball... unlike Sentinel.

'Oooh, sorry Sarge... Sir.'

'You're all bulk and no brains. You're Bulkhead!'

~Too big, too flabby... I'll have him out of my harem... er, my squad, soon.~

'You can thank yellow jacket and the green doofus for the trans-form ups!' a very dirty looking Sentinel Minor snarled as he walked past the squad.

'Nice going, numb-nods,' Wasp glared over at his yellow rival.

'Aw, take it easy on him, Wasp,' Longarm spoke up, eyes glued to the yellow scout's bright chasis.

Wasp growled under his breath.

'Yeah, take it easy on me,' Bumblebee grinned, wiggling his aft.

'I got a special job for you, stingless,' Sentinel smirked.

~Perfect. Now I have an excuse to punish him.~

'Psst, Longarm. Got a nano click?'

Shockwave turned as the yellow scout sidled up to him, pressing close against his arm.

~Must not touch. Must not touch. On a mission... I always did like yellow...~

'For you? No way,' Shockwave forced himself to walk past the sexy little scout.

'I just need to know how to report a suspect spy,' Bumblebee whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.

Shockwave froze, turning slowly to face the smaller mech. Could he have figured it out?

'You think there's a spy bot among us?' Shockwave tried to sound casual, already planning how to ensure his cover would not be blow.

~Hmmm... perhaps I can put him in status and lock him in my closet. Once I'm able, I can ship him off to my quarters on the Nemesis, where he'll be safe and sound until I finish this mission. Then I can have my way with him as often as I please.~

'I think Wasp is working for the Decepticons. Promise not to say anything,' blue optics stared pleadingly up at the long-armed mech in disguise.

'Uh... sure. I suppose I could be persuaded to keep my mouth shut,' Shockwave decided, fighting to keep the smirk off his face.

'I'll do anything,' Bumblebee promised, smiling innocently.

~No doubt he has no idea the price he'll have to pay for my silence. Perhaps this mission will be fun after all.~

(end flashback)

...tbc...

(Extra: Blooper from "Sari Explains the Birds and the Bees to Optimus" check clip out on youtube)

Optimus groaned to himself as he laid down on his recharge berth.

'I shouldn't have asked. I really shouldn't have asked,' the bot groaned, remembering his conversation with Sari.

'Well, when a guy and a girl like each other they...' she whispered into his audios.

'They do WHAT? That's disgusting!' Optimus shuttered as he looked at the family passing by.

~Ewwwww!~

'Sure. How are baby bots made?' Sari asked innocently.

'Uh, well... usually mechs are formed full-grown from factory molds. But, sometimes two bots decide to bond and they... uh, well, press their sparks together to create a new spark,' Optimus flushed, glancing around to see if anyone realized he was talking about interfacing in the middle of a park.

'Optimus!'

The Prime jumped back as Prowl landed in front of them, fixing his leader with a frown.

'I was just...' Optimus fumbled for an excuse.

'That is not an appropriate thing to talk about in a family filled park. What if the younglings overheard you?' the ninja bot asked, tapping his foot.

In the end, Prowl had escorted Sari home, insisting that the firetruck head back to base.

'I hope he doesn't think I'm some kind of pervert,' the Prime groaned, flinging an arm over his optics.

(that was one creepy little white-eyed baby)

...the end...

Note: This one was fun to write! This episode has a lot of flashbacks. I just love that episode. Ironhide's laugh is total jock (yuck).