AN: Surprised I found the time to write? I am as well. ;)
Please enjoy.
Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.
"Your Diet Coke," Mark announced as he entered the living room once again.
"Oh, thanks," Rachel responded, taking the cold glass from his hand. After her day at work, she decided she needed to see Mark. She had found his apartment, now she was seated upon his sofa.
"So, what is it that you needed to talk to me about?" Mark asked. He sensed Rachel's discomfort as her eyes scanned his apartment.
Rachel leaned forward on his brown sofa, placing her drink on the coffee table in front of her knees. She leaned back against the cushions once more, and then spoke.
"I don't think I can do this anymore," Rachel stated, watching as Mark's expression twisted in confusion.
"You can't do what, exactly?" Mark asked, hoping he was interpreting her statement the wrong way.
"I can't do this to Ross," Rachel clarified. "I can't use you to get him back. It's not fair to any one of us."
Mark set his drink down as well, shifting in his chair. Rachel could see the gears turning in his mind; she could tell he was formulating an argument.
"Please, don't think of this that way," Mark pleaded. "I want to be with you," He said, looking at Rachel intensely.
"I don't know," Rachel admitted. She remembered Ross' gesture of returning the t-shirt, she remembered his hurt expression - they were two memories that wouldn't disappear.
"Just hear me out," Mark suggested, holding her gaze.
"Okay, I'm listening," Rachel stated, curious to hear what he would say.
"I think it's best to let go of Ross. And I say this with only your feelings in mind. He cheated on you, he hurt you. Can you really trust that he won't do that again?" Mark explained.
Rachel was about to lose it on Mark, call him out for knowing nothing about Ross to be passing those types of judgements, but, was Mark right?
Why was it she thought she could move on before? It all came down to the fact that she and Ross hurt each other, and that he slept with someone else. They were better as friends. It was better when Ross wasn't possessive or jealous, when she didn't have a relationship and a job to maintain.
If she moved on and he moved on they could be friends again. They could put all the pain and chaos behind them and move on with life. They couldn't keep running in circles, it was getting tiring.
"You really think this is best?" Rachel asked, hoping he'd offer some form of reassurance.
"He deserves it Rachel. What happened to the plan we had?" Mark said.
"I guess I just wanted to make sure I was making the right choice," Rachel stated, softly.
"I promise you, this is for the better. Ross will move on," Mark defended. He couldn't lose Rachel; if he had to fight to make her forget her past relationship, he would gladly do so. Once he succeeded in helping her, he knew they would be great together.
"He did say he was going to ask some woman out from the museum…" Rachel remembered. With that, it came flooding back to her, their argument. Mark had a point. She had made Ross realize that she had moved on, in turn he was moving on as well. She had set out to move on, hadn't she? Wasn't she supposed to make Ross jealous and move on at the same time?
She had to remember that it wouldn't be easy to get back together. First, there was the matter of settling their dispute, and then they would have Mark and this other woman to deal with.
"Exactly. He's going to meet someone else," Mark exclaimed, before he calmed into a serious tone. "Please, Rachel, give me a chance to show you how much I care about you. I guarantee I'll help you get over him."
"I don't want to use you," Rachel stated.
"You won't be using me…" Mark stated, before pausing a short while. "Rachel, I love you."
Rachel had to control her surprise.
"You don't need to say it back; I only want you to know how I feel," Mark stated, watching Rachel calm after his clarification.
"I-I, well, thank you," Rachel stuttered, unsure how to respond. She reached out and took his hand, attempting to wipe the nervous look off his face. He seemed so genuine, so gentle and kind. It was just another reason to continue to date him. His words restored the warmth that had vanished from her heart a short while ago, the warmth that left along with Ross' relationship.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" Mark asked, softly rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.
"That would be lovely," Rachel accepted.
…..
She tugged the jacket off of her shoulders, placing it upon the chair. Mark stood on the opposite side of the table, taking a seat in his chair. He smiled at Rachel, a gesture that she returned, that is until she looked past Mark to see a person who caught her eye.
Rachel stared right through Mark towards the restaurant's bar. A sick feeling prickled across her skin, twisting her stomach from deep within.
He was perched on a barstool at the high counter. He was all the way across the dimly lit room and she still knew it was him. Ross; he wasn't alone, he was with another woman.
This had to be a joke, right? This was a bizarre coincidence. What were the odds that Ross would be at this exact restaurant, at this exact time, when there were hundreds of other places to eat in Manhattan?
Rachel took her seat, in an awkward fashion, as she continued to stare at Ross and the woman that sat close to him. Rachel examined the woman head to toe. Her black hair was swept into a bun, she was tall and slender, and her clothes indicated that she was ready for a night on the town. All and all, she was beautiful.
Mark drew Rachel's attention back into the conversation. But, even he wasn't enough to distract her from stealing quick glances at Ross for the remainder of the night.
She stayed fixated on Mark. Ross was in the past, she shouldn't feel like this. This may have been making him jealous, but now that was not her intention. Her intention was to move on.
…..
The taste of the bitter liquid tingled across his taste buds as he took another sip from the beer bottle. They sat at the bar, casually chatting about the museum.
Ross noticed the sparkle in her eye as she looked at him. They would click perfectly if it weren't for the fact that Ross' mind was elsewhere.
Her smile began to remind her of Rachel's; he eventually compared her eyes to Rachel's. No matter what he did, he couldn't stop comparing this woman to Rachel. At the moment, he couldn't picture himself with anyone other than Rachel, but that dream drifted away from him with every day Rachel spent with Mark.
He knew it would hurt less to be equal to her once more, to be dating someone while she was with Mark.
Would this be how it would feel from this point on? If he couldn't be with Rachel would he always be inclined to compete against her?
He didn't want to think that way, focusing on only distressing thoughts. Instead, he focused on the woman who sat upon the barstool in front of him. Marian.
He needed to make an effort to get over Rachel - it was time.
Marian laughed at his jokes; she was genuinely interested in hearing his ramblings about science. He was glad she had agreed to go out tonight; asking her out at the museum was nerve-racking, he was certain he made a fool of himself trying to be flirtatious. But, he was having a great time with her, and she seemed to enjoy his company just the same.
"I'll be right back, I need to use the restroom," Marian announced at a pause in the conversation.
"Of course," Ross replied. Marian hopped down from the chair, swinging her purse over her shoulder as she departed.
Ross scanned the restaurant, tapping his fingers on the counter as he waited for his date to return. The murmur of the tables of people became understandable every so often, as he overheard a few conversations. Then a bout of laughter caught his attention, it sounded familiar.
His wandering eyes found Rachel in no time; he easily picked her out of the crowd. He was aware that the man with her was Mark. It immediately hit Ross that she was on another date with Mark; that thought alone wiped away his plans of moving on.
How did he think he could move on from Rachel so soon? It was obvious he still wanted to be with her. He would give anything to be the one sitting across from her at this very moment. He wished he was on a date with her once more. No matter how smart or funny Marian was, she wasn't able to fill the hole that was left in his heart.
As Ross observed Rachel and Mark, he felt disgusted. The way she gazed into his eyes made his chest feel tight. He suddenly felt like he had run full speed into a brick wall. It hurt to watch Mark take her hand, whispering something that made Rachel smile her brightest smile.
"Another drink, sir?" The bartender asked, causing Ross to turn around to face him.
"Yes, please," Ross responded quickly. He knew he needed another beer to numb the pain.
…..
Ross felt the strength of the alcohol starting to take effect. He began to feel buzzed, but the drinks still didn't cause him to suffer any less while he viewed Rachel.
He tried hard to focus on Marian; however, as soon as there was a break in the conversation he glanced over at Rachel. She didn't seem to notice him, not once did they lock eyes. It was possibly a good thing she didn't see him, it kept him from storming over to interrupt their date.
Just then, Rachel and Mark stood from their table. Ross gawked at the couple as they put on their jackets. He cringed as Mark placed his hand on the small of Rachel's back as they strode towards the doors.
Ross could still see them through the large windows of the restaurant.
It seemed to happen in slow motion: Mark pulled Rachel closer, looking her in the eyes for a moment. He smoothly kissed her lips, wrapping his arms around her as he did so. Rachel's hands drifted to his face, until they parted.
They then said a few words as they parted ways, heading in opposite directions.
Marian sighed, glancing at her watch.
"You know, I think I'm going to get going," She admitted, in a tone that didn't sound the slightest bit amused. Her voice caught Ross' attention.
"Oh, um, it is getting kind of late," Ross commented, watching her as she slid her arms into her jacket.
"This was… nice. See you at work," Marian stated, clearly hinting that she didn't wish to go out with him again. The evening had started out on a wonderful high note, but then it had gone downhill after she'd returned from the restroom. She was turned off by his constant distraction; he had paid no attention to her for the latter part of their evening.
"Okay, I'll see you around then," Ross responded, his voice trailing off; she was already out of her seat, ready to get on her way.
Ross couldn't care less that she didn't want to go out again, he had blown his chances with her and he didn't mind. If he was going to get over Rachel, now was not the time, he wasn't ready. He needed to stop longing for her, stop being jealous, before he could let her go.
Maybe he wouldn't ever be able to let her go; he could only hope she would forgive him.
He spent a few minutes more at the bar, finishing his beer. He didn't want to go home to his empty apartment yet.
He decided he would go see Chandler – talk to him about the nights events and the resulting emotions.
…..
Finally, Ross had reached the top landing. He had climbed the flights of stairs; they seemed to never end. He strode towards apartment 19. He treaded heavily on the floor, disrupting the quiet of the hallway. Then, he was close enough to knock.
Patiently, he waited for the door to swing open. He waited for Chandler or Joey. Instead, the door behind him opened, causing his to jump slightly in surprise.
"Joey, are you locked out again… oh, um, Ross. I didn't see you there," Rachel said, finishing in a soft voice.
"I came to talk to, uh, Chandler," Ross explained, nervously.
"He's not home," Rachel stated. Ross sighed in disappointment, running a hand through his already messy hair. Noticing his distress and urgency, Rachel stepped closer, crossing her arms across her chest.
"Is everything okay?" Rachel asked, leaning to try to catch Ross' eye.
"I just needed to talk to him about, well about you," Ross admitted truthfully.
"Oh, that's-," Rachel was about to respond when Ross stepped closer.
The alcohol may have had more of an effect than he'd originally thought. He couldn't think straight. It also could have been the fact that he was alone with Rachel, or the rush of emotions he'd felt earlier. Nonetheless, he made a snap decision.
He quickly advanced, catching her face within his hands. He crushed his lips against hers, causing her to step back to catch her balance. He kissed her with as much passion as he could channel. He didn't know what came over him; he only knew he had to show her how much he still loved her.
Rachel didn't hesitate in the slightest. She couldn't allow him to sweep her away, change her decision. She raised both her hands to push against his chest.
"Ross. Stop," Rachel stated firmly. Ross immediately let go of her, stepping away hurriedly.
"I'm sorry," Ross apologised as fast as possible.
"I can't think of you in that way. Not after all that happened, all you did," Rachel explained in a whisper.
"Hey, we both had a hand in this. We both made some mistakes," Ross argued, getting tired of the blame game.
"At least I didn't sleep with someone else," Rachel nearly shouted. It felt good to be angry, it was the only way to stop herself from feeling heartbroken.
"If I can't have a decent conversation without you throwing that in my face, I'll just leave," Ross declared, outraged. Did she forget the events that had occurred? Did she forget that that's not all that happened?
"Well you can't just come here, kiss me and think we can get back together. If you want to go, then go," Rachel stated in a low, heated whisper.
"I will, but before I do, I want you to know…" Ross took a breath, calming himself, "… that sleeping with Chloe was the worst mistake I've ever made. I can't take it back, and not a day goes by where I don't wish I could," Ross stated.
He didn't wait for her to respond; he turned and headed down the stairs, leaving Rachel standing in the hall alone.
Rachel wrapped her arms around herself once more, this time trying to keep herself from falling to pieces. Ross' words opened up a wound that didn't appear to ever get a chance to heal.
She seemed to have taken a step backwards in her plan to move on. She had created a false hope in choosing to date Mark. She would need more time in order to fully move on.
Right now, Ross' words only reminded her that she was only partially ready to let go.
…..
Another slow day at the museum was in full swing. Everything was normal until his boss called him.
He had asked to speak with him in his office. Ross dreaded the news he would receive, he was nervous as he made his way down the hall.
Of course he only thought of the worst case scenario. Was there a reason he could be in trouble? Was he being fired? What was this urgent matter that his boss needed to speak to him about?
Ross knocked on the door of his boss' office. He waited until he prompted him to come in.
"Ross, take a seat," Donald stated, gesturing across the desk to the chair opposite him.
"Is everything okay?" Ross asked as he followed his boss' instructions. He hoped to hear news that would calm his nerves, rather than worsen them.
"Yes, everything's okay. Actually, everything is better than okay. Ross, I'd like to offer you the chance of a lifetime," Donald explained, a glint of excitement in his eye.
"What is that offer, sir?" Ross asked, listening to his boss intently.
"Ross, you are a very bright scientist, one of the smartest young men I know. For that reason I would like to know if you would consider being on TV."